Ahh to be a young 52 once more - sigh.
I hope you dont mind, or anyone else, but I would like to say a couple things about all you have raised here and in other posts. I do want to say first of all that I am not some wise guru like many on here I just have a lot of experience from making bad mistakes over the years
Your in a bad place right now - mentally not physically. Your world has been turned upside down and it has knocked the stuffing and confidence right out of you. Your afraid you wont be able to find work because you think your too old. Baloney. Up at the top of each page is a little list of choices and one of them is search. Click on the search and put in work or jobs. There are jobs out there. Maybe not glamorous but they will pay for your gas and food. Some even include free camping. The campground host is a good one. Free camping, free water, free electric ya know the things you need. Sure you would be in one place for several months - so you will be forced to not spend a lot of money. A glamorous job it is not. You basically end up cleaning up after messy people, kinda like you got stuck doing while you were married - only now you get paid for it.
As for fixing your van all up before you get out of town - why? Your already doing the living in the van thing so you must have the basics to survive already. If your van runs half way decent then you have enough to go now. Or wait until January and do it. Go to the RTR - You will find more people than you ever imagined in your same situation as well as all the people who KNOW how to make it work - and make it work for you. They are all there waiting for you to show up so they can meet you and help you. There are some beautiful people in the Nomad community. You would almost think that the reason there seems to be so few good people in the cities is that they are all Nomads now. I do want to point out that just like anything else there is that 10% that end up on the naughty and not nice list.
If you haven't already done so find the Womens only area. It's on here. Post on there. Tell the other women your fears and concerns. Lots of them have been where you are, or are where your at right now. Probably for the first time in a long time you are in total control of you. And probably it's a little scary cause the big question is what do I do now. So ask them. There are some dang excellent women on this forum - smart and tough - gentle and kind - and did I mention smart? Lean on your sisters they will help you.
You feel useless - your not. You feel hopeless - there is hope it is just around the corner but you have to take that leap of faith and turn the corner. I know Bob would tell you that you don't need to be afraid. The group on Cheap RV Living is a community of individuals that pull together and help each other like none I have ever seen before. This group of people, this tribe, remind me very much of a much quoted poem that every single American recognizes:
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
Stop being afraid - Bob has lit the lamp with his hundreds of videos to show people how to find that Golden Door to freedom. Now just walk through it.
