Women Only Women Only: To avoid confusion and hurt feelings ...

[WanderingRose]

I don’t believe the women only subforum here is either intended primarily for abused women, nor that abused women most often frequent it.

 

[user 22017]

I can think of a couple!

That is funny Last night I was browsing Prime Video, I think, and clicked on a video about Free Masons. I never knew their history and was curious. It explained that throughout history every culture needed a rite of initiation. Well, men needed an exclusive fraternity that allowed them the opportunity to be initiated into manhood. It said nature gave women that initiation into womanhood in a spectacular way. Nature did it. But it never said what it was, lol. Did they mean menstruation? And it was spectacular? I didn't watch the rest.

Btw, I love men. I have two sons whom I adore. Three daughters.

 

[scaredycat72]

I don't think it would cause conflict or be anymore exclusive than it currently is. There was conflict when the sub was first created (some men were not happy and let that be known) and Bob basically told them to get over it because it was non-negotiable. Having the forum be restricted would definitely cause conflict, just like everything new here causes conflict, and it could be handled the same way the prior conflict was handled.

I would love to be able to ask more intimate questions here but I don't feel comfortable having the more intimate aspects of my life available for all to see. I ask those more intimate questions in my women's-only FB group so it works out well.

Just examples of wtfreak situations that still blow my mind - 1. a woman in one of my co-ed vandwelling groups asked about how to handle her period on the road and she got blasted with comments from men that that wasn't an acceptable topic and that it was simple so she way dumb to ask. 2. A woman stopped about how other people carried their makeup and she was blasted for being high maintenance and told she wouldn't make it on the road. These same men tied themselves in knots helping guys fit in complete gaming systems, big screen TVs, and even an ATV, but this woman's makeup crossed the "too much" line. Thank goodness for the safety of women's-only groups and forums.

 

[user 22017]

I don't think it would cause conflict or be anymore exclusive than it currently is. There was conflict when the sub was first created (some men were not happy and let that be known) and Bob basically told them to get over it because it was non-negotiable. Having the forum be restricted would definitely cause conflict, just like everything new here causes conflict, and it could be handled the same way the prior conflict was handled.

Well said.

I asked my 20-year-old daughter what she thought about the topic and she was as confused as I was. I asked her, because she often explains things to me about the importance of protecting the rights of everyone. Especially POC, LGBT. And abused women.

 

[Lasivian]

I would really rather not be included or excluded based on my genitalia.

 

[Termite]

I thought this was for everybody. Segregation is wrong. Haven't we learned anything! If your going to make a women's only I'm out. Then you should also make whites only-gays only-asain only 1 legged man only dogs only etc etc.

 

[user 22017]

I thought this was for everybody. Segregation is wrong. Haven't we learned anything! If your going to make a women's only I'm out. Then you should also make whites only-gays only-asain only 1 legged man only dogs only etc etc.

Nobody is doing anything, Termite. Nothing has changed and nothing will change. We are just discussing things that we feel may be relevant to females.

That said, if it was my forum, I would have a private forum for females, one for POC, one for men and one for LBGT.

Nothing wrong with discussion!

 

[Morgana]

To me the setup seems unusual and slightly awkward but entirely livable-with. I'm sure it was set up as a constructive solution to a problem; I assume that some people have found it helpful, and if that's still the case I can certainly live with it. It doesn't seem to get a lot of traffic.

I think it's a bit of a stretch to call what's going on here "segregation." Anybody can read the posts, and anyone can express themselves on any topic in any other subforum they choose.

I'd be very opposed to having multiple identity-based private subforums. (If the price of not doing that would be to shut this one down as well, it would be fine with me.) The magic of this forum is precisely that it brings such different people together. We should be focused on making the whole forum a welcoming and empowering place (oh wait, we are -- it's in the mission statement or house rules or whatever that document is called). There's an easy way to ensure that people feel safe here: Don't be a dick.

(Saying any more on that ^^ would be veering dangerously into the political, and I will hold my peace on that as long as other people do.)

Also, I don't think it's realistic to propose steps that require extra work for the moderators unless there's a major problem. Remember we get this for free, and the people who run it are mostly (all?) volunteers. And it was never meant to be the place to go to talk about every single thing we ever want or need to talk about.

 

[Sky]

I never knew we were supposed to do that. Also, I always thought only women could enter/read the Women's Forum. Why have a Women's Forum if anyone (males & females) can read the posts?

That makes sense and I would have thought women only meant just that too.

 

[thebarefootbadger]

There is a nice facebook group called Solo Women Van Dwellers that is exclusively what the name implies. While I appreciate a women-only forum here, there is a decent, supportive alternative for sensitive issues if that's what you need or this seems too public.

 

[user 22017]

There is a nice facebook group called Solo Women Van Dwellers that is exclusively what the name implies. While I appreciate a women-only forum here, there is a decent, supportive alternative for sensitive issues if that's what you need or this seems too public.

As I stated above, on Facebook you must use your real name or create another FB account just for that group page. Sounds good, though.

For me, I'm trying to wean myself off Google, Facebook, Amazon and plastic

 

[scaredycat72]

I thought this was for everybody. Segregation is wrong. Haven't we learned anything! If your going to make a women's only I'm out. Then you should also make whites only-gays only-asain only 1 legged man only dogs only etc etc.

There's already a women's only sub-forum. This post is in it. Men are not allowed to comment on posts on the Women's Only sub-forum.

The discussion is whether to have posts viewable by women-only, not whether to have a sub for women only.

 

[scaredycat72]

I would really rather not be included or excluded based on my genitalia.

This is already a women-only sub-forum.

 

[Eraine Cooper]

Hi Maki,

I was looking for the thread where it (the reasoning behind making it public) was originally explained. I did a search, but didn't know which keywords to use. I found the 'men bashing' thread in the search results.

The weird thing, to me, was that the thread wasn't deleted after the first post. It was allowed to continue for two pages. Allowing two pages of it didn't help the women who may want a private forum. And, it is still visible.

Anyway, I don't care anymore. I'll keep looking for safety advice on youtube

Hi my name is Eraine, I don’t understand why we have to sign in if everyone can read what we post!

 

[user 22017]

Hi my name is Eraine, I don’t understand why we have to sign in if everyone can read what we post!

I'm not sure what you mean. This "Women Only Forum" isn't really for women only. Everyone can read it, but only women can post. And, I think, those who don't say what their sex is.

I have a feeling that is not what you are asking.

 

[jacqueg]

Nothing you said was offensive. I'm slow to see both sides sometimes. Trying to understand.

I wasn't aware this was for mostly abused women. Doesn't seem to be the best venue for such a forum, if that is the case.

You're probably right that there are truly exclusive forums / FB groups now that would be better for this use. But you never know who is searching around for help. And I, for one, am happy that this subforum is here.

 

[jacqueg]

Hi my name is Eraine, I don’t understand why we have to sign in if everyone can read what we post!

Depends.

The main reasons I'm good with signing in are

1) Cookies - I like being able to pickup where I last left off in a thread. Some threads I participate in run to dozens of posts, I really don't wanna scroll again through the whole damn thing.

2) fewer ads

 

[fantym1]

... Well, men needed an exclusive fraternity that allowed them the opportunity to be initiated into manhood. It said nature gave women that initiation into womanhood in a spectacular way. Nature did it. But it never said what it was, lol. Did they mean menstruation? ...

Am glad you enjoyed the vid - humor is a wonderful thing.
Yes, the initiation into womanhood was/is menstruation. Anthropologists have documented Coming of Age Ceremonies & other cultural norms (such as menstrual huts for women) in hunter-gatherer cultures in modern times, such as Margaret Meade. Female circumcision is another aspect, as is Bar and Bat Mitzvahs.
Anecdotally, I was told by a woman that she was slapped by her mother & told, "now you can bring shame on the family", when she had her first period. It was traditional in her culture.

Young men in hunter-gatherer cultures traditionally also had initiations, such as on the occasion of their first major kill; some had circumcision rites.

Such ceremonies are still practiced by some Indigenous and religious cultures.

 

[fantym1]

My deepest apologies for crossing over and overstepping my place.

Disclosure: I am a Man.

Deliberately. Violating. Boundaries.

 

[fantym1]

My deepest apologies for crossing over and overstepping my place.

Disclosure: I am a Man.

Deliberately. Violating. Boundaries.