Why do solo female Nomads have an easier time attracting non-nomads than solo males?

[crofter]

.....A lot of younger women find older men quite exciting....

First belly laugh of the day.  This myth is purely economic. For some reason the younger woman does not want to make her own fortune, so she joins up with the older man and spends his. 

One trip to the swimming pool will rule out attraction in most cases. However I currently have a friend who is 20 years older, must work out or something cos you would never know it.
-crofter

 

[crofter]

I think societal conditioning still runs much deeper than most of us give it credit for.

Without meaning anything to sound "sexist".

Young girls learn while growing up the skills of "attraction".  It's one of their primary social skills deemed necessary to their coming life as an adult.  Other skills may include "flirtation", and "conversation & listening skills".  With these,  females will make connections with eligible men which could lead to a relationship.  Relationships could lead to a marriage, family, and children.  (a traditional aim of most females)

Guys on the other hand are learning "skills" not so much related to socializing until mid teens.  This before  they want to be active with girls.  But these are the things that may gain the interest of girls. Still he will have to show some understanding of normal social interactions to have any success with the girls. 

So if a guy is doing fairly well in his working life and has some of the requisites such as a car, money, his own place, he keeps himself well groomed, then the girls may take him serious enough to give him some signals that she is interested.

I've always found it interesting the magazine shelves at places like WalMart.  The sheer numbers of women's magazines compared to men's and the nature of the two may offer some validation of this.
Guys are generally running with larger numbers of other guys and playing sports when younger.  Girls are generally with a smaller number (a circle) of friends and learn the social protocols I spoke of above.  When girls begin to be interested in boys they are often inclined to look to those guys who are somewhat older than themselves.

All of this stuff starts early.  I've also noticed a lot of the guys who grow up around older sisters seem to, owing to exposure,  understand these dynamics better than those who were only kids or only had brothers.  They seem to have the "knack" for dating by dating age.

In essence,  the girls may be educated to be the better more skillful hunters  and in that they realize
the limit that so many guys have.  Thus by working at grooming themselves to be attractive and managing their social skills towards what they sense as "worthwhile" they will have the advantage.

I'm only stating this as my view of the question.

Sounds like you have thought about it some.

But females are the best providers and most dependable partners, not males.

I think healthy relationships are great, but most are not healthy and the females wind up used and with nothing. Better to expend the energy in providing for yourself, have some friends, enjoy your life.

If you want a large home and family, you get a big job that will pay for it all, and be willing to commit all those years of your life to the rat race. Some people want this.

Or you could be a non-breeder, and not increase the world's population with offspring. If you check out your family tree in the US, you will probably find that there is no shortage of people genetically related to you, who have your last name. If you decide to be a non-breeder, hey there is tons of other fun stuff to do.

Living lightly is better for most people IMHO.
-crofter

 

[lab_nomad]

First belly laugh of the day.  This myth is purely economic. For some reason the younger woman does not want to make her own fortune, so she joins up with the older man and spends his. 

One trip to the swimming pool will rule out attraction in most cases. However I currently have a friend who is 20 years older, must work out or something cos you would never know it.
-crofter

Well, yes and no.  Some women are with older men for purely economic reasons. However, there are dating coaches who suggest women go older.

Since men never stop being attracted to youth and beauty, they can become dissatisfied with their partner as she ages and loses her looks, especially if the man feels that he aging better than she is. Well...if you are more than 10 years younger, you are ALWAYS going to be young and hot compared to your man, so it can work well. 

I’m willing to go 15 years older, but anything over that kinda creeps me out. I have dated a man 12 years older. I think it bothered him more than it bothered me. I look young for my age, and he definitely looked older (lots of hard living), and so it looked like a much bigger age difference than it was.

 

[JDub]

My wife was eleven years younger than I, 4 master's (yes 4 - 3 masters degrees and a master's certificate) and a PhD. Always wondered what she was doing with me... Probably my cooking!

 

[crofter]

So true, good food = love for some. I am having lime juice in my ice tea, with some Miss Jones sweetnr  made out of coconuts. Its good. Sorry I did not measure so no recipe.
-crofter

 

[eDJ_]

Crofter wrote:

First belly laugh of the day.  This myth is purely economic. For some reason the younger woman does not want to make her own fortune, so she joins up with the older man and spends his

  Glad it made your day !    But as others have mentioned, it isn't all about how handsome or wealthy the man in question is.  At the pool not all the old dudes are land whales or running a deficit of hair on their heads.  And still, even if they are, there may be girls who see something in them besides outward appearances.

Still there is something about the older guy.  Girls growing up see all this stuff about celebs marrying girls so much younger.  Yes some of that can be a trade of their youth & beauty (and lack of much else) for his estate.  But plenty of these young girls aren't really old enough to understand what they see in the gossip magazines.  Look at movies like "American Beauty" where Kevin Spacey's "Dad Character" was such a turn on to his daughters BFF.  But when push came to shove it was "Dad" who couldn't go thru with nailing her.


Perhaps some girls grew up in homes without a "father" and have some pent up "daddy issues" that compel them to want to go to the edge with an older guy.  Often they aren't very popular and live all but unnoticed lives.   I live in a Tri-State area with several Universities, Nursing Schools, Business Schools, etc where young women come here from some distance.  On the week ends loads of older men (and Cougars) come to the town as the Hotels, Motels, even the Lodges at the State Parks fill up with these week end get away/hook up's. 

I make no secret of saying that I've learned so much from the women I've known, and that includes some of the older ones too.  I'm sure a lot of girls who have been "kept" at home to be the pride of the family and always kept on a pedestal will once they can escape from home to College will want to make up for lost time....and not with the lame brained buckaroo's she was around in high school where she was in the straight A girls club and the butt of all too many of their jokes.  The older guy can be a mentor, lover, provide things she would like to have or have replaced but cannot with her means, can take her to night clubs,  and for the first time make her feel as alive as some of the other girls she was in high school with five years earlier.

And Cougar's & Cubs nights are a familiar sight now days considering all of the social boards on the net.
In the summer a lot of middle aged Teachers come to campus to renew their teaching certificates.  Some visit local fraternal lodges to meet men or fling with much younger guys they meet on campus.  Some of these Teachers keep ongoing connections with guys they've met so when they come back to College in the summer they don't have to waste any time hunting.

But where the gold diggers may want to latch on for the long haul,  the May thru December girls tend to pursue less tangible things that they value.

 

[thegoodtom1]

Assuming that it is you that is looking, the question reveals the issue. There is nothing more attractive than someone who has everything under control. Concentrating on your own self improvement, instead of a mate, will allow you to become more attractive. If you are not attracting the right mate (or any ), there is room for personal growth. Consider what will make you a better person, not what makes you more attractive. Work on yourself and stop worrying about a mate. When the time is right, it will happen. Treating the issue at the source, instead of the reaction.

 

[crofter]

I disagree. Just be yourself and enjoy your life.
-crofter

 

[thegoodtom1]

Not sure why someone working on themselves is a bad idea, but okay.

 

[GoingMobile]

I agree on working on yourself and doing what makes you feel fulfilled. This is going to sound a bit like the old Penthouse letters but some of the other posts about college towns and age differences reminded me of this. I'll try to leave out the naughty bits. 

I got into the academic world and became a college professor at age 54 after a mostly successful career in the field I teach. The university is in a small college town in the deep south, very few single women my age and culturally extremely different from me. Very few bordered on what I consider attractive. I had one beautiful young female student who was getting a little too friendly and it was starting to make the lack of acceptable partners in my new location more of a pressing issue. So I tried online dating for the culture shock of my life. After fielding way too many questions about my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) from women younger than me who looked like my grandmother, I was contacted by a beautiful 26 year old woman. We went on some hikes and canoeing, she really liked outdoor activities and we really had a good time together. I assumed she was looking at our fling as a temporary experience before resuming her real life. Until one day she told me that she wanted to bury me.

It was her way of telling me that she wanted to be with me until the end. By then I was 56, starting to experience some health effects of aging and it just didn't seem fair for her to be taking care of me in the not too distant future while I drool on my shirt. She in many ways was still in the process of becoming who she was and I feel like I would be taking something away.

The other thing I should mention was that she had been sexually abused as a child and that is not an uncommon factor with at least some younger women who go for older men. I didn't find that out until we had been seeing each other for quite some time, She had dealt with it pretty well, legally emancipated herself from her family when she was 16 and started college not long after that. She had gone to a lot of therapy, worked in groups, etc. She moved to another state for a job in the field she had studied and after another year we parted ways. 

I still think she is one of the most amazing people I have known and although I have no right to feel this, it's not by anything I contributed, but I feel proud of her by how she has conducted herself in life, overcoming a lot of difficult circumstances, working hard to educate herself, a couple of advanced degrees now, and she works in child protective services helping children who are victims of unfortunate circumstances. She met and married someone older than her, but much closer in age than I am and they had a child together about a year ago.  Its really weird to say this but I feel like i had a girlfriend that turned into a daughter as my affection over time became much more paternal. (I don't have any children of my own.)

My women friends with daughters hate me for having had this relationship and I can understand. My male friends mostly offer the wink, wink, say no more reaction. I don't think this relationship would have happened outside of the unusual circumstances of a man from a large metropolitan area finding himself single in a small college town in the deep south.

But here I am at age 63, single, during a pandemic where mask wearing and social distancing have been required for over a year. The idea of starting a new relationship sounds like a pipe dream under these circumstances. I have been in California teaching remotely and building out a cargo van during the pandemic and it has been great to be back in a more familiar place with family and friends. But I have 2 more years of that job, in that location, and I'm not sure I can make it through another 2 years there. My van represents my escape hatch. I don't possess "**** you money", but now I at least have a van I can drive away in and not come back if it gets to be more than I can bear.

But reflecting upon it, what woman is going to be attracted to a guy living in a van? pretty much in the category of "drifter" which is not far from "bum" or "serial killer" in many peoples minds. Unfortunately I'm not the guy with more retirement savings than I can spend myself, my own table at Mr. A's, a city house and a lake house, that an attractive woman could land if they play their cards right.

I'll be traveling in my van, making paintings as I go and have occasional exhibitions of the work I make. Satisfying but I'm afraid it will be lonely.

 

[MotorVation]

Please stop. Women have an easier time period. I've seen women getting hit on just by parking their car and going in a 7-11. Sorry, I'm fresh out of psycho babble.

Don't do that guys. It makes things more difficult for the men that have a just a little tiny ennie meenie bit of pride. Thank you

 

[Cammalu]

Goingmobile - once you get out on the road you are going to find that there are many, many more solo women nomads that men. I don’t have facts and figures but believe it has to be at least three to one.

Don’t worry about living in a van. They are too and loving the lifestyle. Join some of the caravans or jump in to any of the desert parties.

You’ll have to hide if you don’t want friends.

 

[RoamerRV428]

men seem to die younger than gals.
more women on the road and out and about LOL

just google if men die younger and all stats and more show they do for alot of reasons that kinda surprised me when you study the issue.

guys are gonna be guys. any gal is fair game for an approach. So?? I mean if a nomad gal doesn't want non-nomad guys just say NO

 

[GoingMobile]

Goingmobile  - once you get out on the road you are going to find that there are many, many more solo women nomads that men.  I don’t have facts and figures but believe it has to be at least three to one.

Don’t worry about living in a van. They are too and loving the lifestyle.  Join some of the caravans or jump in to any of the desert parties.

You’ll have to hide if you don’t want friends.

Not that I want to set out in Van Life to pick up chicks, but living in a part of the country where I don't fit into the culture for 12 years before I retire has had the effect of making me feel like the romantic part of my life has slipped by. I was married happily for 23 years, unhappily for 1, and while still in California had no problem meeting people. But living in a small town in the south has been difficult and I feel like there are large parts of who I am that had no outlet there. .
    
But it sounds like there are plenty of people out there to share company with wether or not any romantic attachment happens and that is encouraging. I feel like I need some shared experiences and camaraderie at this point in my life.

 

[thegoodtom1]

I believe we are all being a little bit selfish, on the road as we have the opportunity to really pursue any of our dreams. Whether single or as a couple, you can choose your own destination and not 'comply' with what the locality believes you should be doing. It is completely fulfilling to me and unintentionally filled a hole that I have been unsuccessfully trying to patch for years. It has been the soul searching remedy that I needed. Not that it works for everyone, but it is your choice to improve or not.

 

[user 29503]

It's quite simple.  There are two reasons: boobs, and legs.  And before anyone gets in a tiff about that, think about the accurate criticism often made by comedians, male comedians all be it, that a man is always thinking about sex and/or is ready whenever he's asked.  That is the context in which I give my reply.  In fact I'll go as far as to say, it has almost nothing to do with her being a nomad at all.
If a typical guy (I say typical because this post itself was dictated off a generalization) hits it off with a woman at Lowes, first of all, his male instincts are going to go on a date with her merely because his sub-conscious was eating pizza for breakfast down in his spiritual "cellar", got a whiff of perfume, flowery shampoo, lady speed stick, whatever...and dialed the red bat-phone, covered in cobwebs, in his brain.  It then proceeds to inform him "Hey, y'know we might have sex in the near future."  Now, double down on that analogy: he meets a REALLY attractive woman at Lowes, they go on a date and she says "I just wanted you to know I'm a nomad"  The primal vat of hormones in his loins is gong to say "It's okay, because she's hot and we might have sex later."  So no harsh criticisms will be made.
That's aside from the fact that there's a possibility, maybe a slim one, that she on-the-fly asks if he wants to go on the road with her. In that case he definitely knows he's sleeping within the same proximity as her, or same bed, his odds for sex have improved, tremendously at that point.  And...he doesn't have to go to work the next morning and.... gets to go on a huge road trip.
Now, critics of my logic may say "Y'know it's about connection too!  They could just meet and connect!"  True, and not unlikely.  Also, I completely support that argument.  In fact when, not if, I meet my nomad Queen (thus she will be treated like one), I don't want to be in a relationship if there's no spark.  But that was not the matter being discussed in this post.  The question was "Why do solo female Nomads have an EASIER TIME--?"  I would at least chew around the "gristle" of my input and consider it a little.
Also, it's an ego thing.  Nomads are becoming more accepted, but I know in my circles people still think you're going bonkers, or having  a mid-life crisis, or see you as homeless.  I once had the same attitude.  I'm sure other people do too.  I'm also sure, as a guy, that if a man shares the aforementioned views, he in some way feels he doesn't have to compete with her, or peacock, or anything of the like.  Though nomads can work just as much as a non-nomad, the typical guy with those views sees he doesn't have to perform.  His job title doesn't matter. And....drum roll....he believes he can bargain for sex more easily.  In fact I'm sure some big Vegas sign is flashing on and off in his head: SEX SEX SEX.
My two cents, probably doesn't buy much, but we boys do, all be it by nature, hold an audience for our libidos.