vandweller guys

1oleman · Jul 1, 2011

Don't have a clue,guess we find out when we get there.  Ed

dragonflyinthesky · Jul 1, 2011

My definition of "Old enough to know better" After having been involved with the police or a pregnancy in your younger years, you are very carefull.<IMG border=0 align=absMiddle src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/nono.gif">  Also "Learning by ones mistakes".

WanderingRonin · Jul 13, 2011

I'm not worried about female companionship. Usually, she shows up when the time is right once again in my life. I will just concentrate on living my life as best as I can first and figure that out later... It'll happen if it'll happen. I am happy being single for a while. Whenever I begin to fret about relationships, fortunes and whatnot, I always recall the time I volunteered at a children's cancer hospital. That always puts things in perspective for me. 

Stillwater · Jul 24, 2011

I can't agree more with what WanderingRonin said. In my words (not to say these are necessarily his,) if one is out actively looking, pursuing even, companionship of the opposite sex, it is way too easy to make some bad decisions. Once I realized that only *I* was responsible for my own happiness, I felt liberated from that need to find someone else. (Maybe not the physical need but at least the emotional need.) Jumping onto the wayback machine for a ride, I was just out of a three year, ill-fated live-in girlfriend relationship and felt the longing for companionship to fill that void. I made some bad decisions with mates for some time. I had a full-time business and was a weekend whitewater kayak instructor. My business allowed a good amount for travel which varied from whitewater destinations to beach-camping surfing trips to a number of Dead/Phish/Buffett shows. I gave up the search to find someone to fill that void and made myself responsible for my personal daily outlook. You know what? Happy as a clam. Content. At peace. Downright giddy. You know what else? People want to be around you like a moth to a flame when you are calm, happy, content and at peace. They want "part of that action." Relationships took a great turn for the positive! Married now for 16 years. Not without some ups and downs but I can be a much better partner and friend when I'm not blaming her for my hi or low of the day but only myself... with only myself required to act to make it better. In a nutshell... just have fun. Be at peace. Be yourself. You know what? The right person who is a perfect fit for the real you will naturally, heuristically, fit into your life. I guess I should go introduce myself now that I have officially stopped lurking.

Guest · Jul 28, 2011

Why is being single a bad thing? Allow me to defend Singledom: Being Single Is Awesome. How many married / attached people do you know who are truly happy? How many of your own friends & family will admit that they wish they were single again? How many would happily walk away from their sig other/ kids if there were NO financial or legal consequences and they got to keep all their 'stuff'? Single Rocks! You can do whatever you want, whenever you feel like it. No need to ask first, check in during, or have limits set on it, or listen to it being repeatedly brought up. You don't have to share the couch, blankets, bed and can hog it up, or sprawl all over it, or leave it a mess. You get to keep your old favorite beat-up jeans, tshirts & sweatshirts. You get to put your tools anywhere you want. The toilet seat stays where you put it. You get to listen to the music YOU like, watch the movies YOU like, eat foods YOU like, do the things you WANT to do, go places you WANT to go - without any 'consequences' or concessions. You get to keep your pets & your friends. You don't have to deal with friends, family, pets & gf/bf not liking each other or stirring up any crap or trying to force you to "choose". Being single is peaceful, quiet, un-stressful, easy, cheap and fun. The freedom of it is priceless; and you do not have to constantly bargain for it, compromise for it, wheel and deal for it, listen to anyone complain about any of it, or try to force you to 'get rid of' any of it.

Wild_E · Jul 28, 2011

I love the newly single life myself, I will never get married again, or live with someone else again, never, no more, ever...

vonu · Jul 28, 2011

4x4chvy said:
 Being single is peaceful, quiet, un-stressful, easy, cheap and fun.

<div> </div><div>You missed lonely, unless you are a sociopath

</div>

Wild_E · Jul 28, 2011

I do not think he missed it at all!<div> </div><div>When I was living with my soon to be Ex Wife, I was lonely, now that I live in my lovely Camper/Truck at large, I am so peaceful and happy, not lonely at all. </div><div> </div><div>I can come onto here, go for a walk, go to a social event all interactions with others. Being a mobile  business, I can go and drop in on people that I know, I also do not spend up to an hour just sitting in the driveway anymore, listening to the Radio, no wanting to go into the house, to be ignored or yelled at or insulted, etc, all the hallmarks of living with an abusive person. I am not lonely anymore. I am peaceful and happy now, Finally!</div>

vonu · Jul 28, 2011

omeone would say that you are more uncommitted than single, but not me.  I concur.</div>

Guest · Jul 29, 2011

Lonely or bored? Never! But then again, I'm easily amused    <img src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/tongue.gif" align="absmiddle" border="0">     and : I have two needy, demanding, talkative, OCD, high maintenance Persian cats. I have a cranky old Chevy that makes *I want* lists. Wherever we go, people are drawn to the funny lookin cats and the big old Mud truck. They all have questions.... and stories. I have lots of friends, in lots of states who know my 2way and my laptop stay on 24/7. I have signs on my truck, tshirts, ads, and various other printed materials all over the place for computer repair and handyman/chores work - saying I work 7am to midnight, 7 days. Personally, I could be a very happy Hermit <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"> Being highly independent, self sufficient and deciding that the cost of a 'relationship' is way too much baggage, stress, aggravation, cost (and as WildernessReturn said, potential abuse) -  does not make anyone a sociopath. ....possibly schizoid, but that's a different topic <img src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/rofl.gif" align="absmiddle" border="0">

Guest · Jul 29, 2011

"If you aren't happy with you, no one else will be either." "You are responsible for your own happiness." "No one has the right to expect more from someone else than they themselves have to offer." The trick is to find someone who wants what you have to offer!

VanTramp · Jul 30, 2011

I felt exactly that way for 6 years after my second divorce. Was happy enough that even dating just wasn't a big deal. After I sold my shop and had more time on my hands, I did do a little dating and then remembered why I liked being single so much! Expected/wanted/planned to remain that way. When you are happy and content with your life and yourself is exactly when the exact right person seems to just happen along. <div> </div><div>Heidi was in the same mindset as I was. But, when it is right, and you just know it, it's a whole different ballgame. Being alone but happy is healthy. Being in a healthy relationship with the right person can give you all the same freedoms you mention as well as all the positive sides of a supportive partner. Couldn't be happier now! Two main points to my response, 1) Never say never! 2) Vandweller gals are the best! <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle">  </div>

Guest · Jul 30, 2011

Right on Mike! You are right on the button! Bri

VanTramp · Jul 31, 2011

Thanks Bri, I know you can relate to it for sure! <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle">

SoulRaven · Aug 7, 2011

Hmm at 49, widowed, and broke I start all over again on the 15th of Augest 2011... I read this thinking who in there right mind would even consider a relationship in a van, on the road, with a guy... Seems i still have a lot of materialist traits I need to let go and do my best to make the best of what i consider a forced life style at this point... I will be at the gathering in AZ in Jan. and will see how things look, I will be online from time to time and hope to hook up with a traveler or two to explore full time the Western US for now...

Guest · Aug 7, 2011

SoulRaven - You need to change HOW you think, not what you think. Try this on: Normal is defined by the Majority, who are (at best) Average. And we all know Average is boring, simply because its so Common. So you are simply choosing to be Different, and that makes you Interesting by default! "In their right mind" <----most people have the same, tiny, dull, narrow mind. WHY would you want to hook up with one of them when you now have better options? You're getting the opportunity to meet so many interesting people and fellow vandwellers. Most of us quite different from the 'normal people' you're used to. Enjoy it, roll with it, learn from it. We're here for you, bud - you aren't going into this blind and alone <img src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/biggrin.gif" align="absmiddle" border="0"> Chin up, and memorize my signature.

Guest · Aug 7, 2011

I agree with WanderingRonin completely on this thread. At 67 y.o. and in a third marriage, second 16 year marriage resulted in two great sons and a friend in my co-parent...third and hopefully last marriage is in it's 26th year with no end in sight. I think a key here is to be complete and comfortable in myself. Only then do I have something to offer another...Also to realize that one individual cannot meet my every need. Nor can I meet my spouses every need. Only speaking for myself.....It is important for me to know when I am enjoying some time alone to recharge my inner self and when I am just feeling good because when I am alone I am "in control". To me, the word "relationship" means a vehicle in which to relate....If I can't successfully be in relationship with myself and other humans, on the level of being a friend without having to be in control, I will never be able to successfully be in relationship with a spouse or significant other. But that's just me and as usual, YMMV.... Bri

karl · Aug 7, 2011

W.R. and Bri - seems we think alike.... Been divorced, been widowed, been in lust, been in Love,  learned to never say never, that all relationships require compromise, that the best ones are based on communication,  trust and allowing each to be. There are currently two (living) women that I care deeply for- one thinks she  wants to spend her life with me in some fairy tale surrounded by a white picket fence.....where she can mold me into the perfect man.....-been there, done that.....failed miserably. The other is my Friend, she also has lived alone for as many years as me, neither of us try to change the other, we travel together well, we understand that our backgrounds and circumstance have influenced who we are, and that we are independently responsible for who we become. We understand and allow each other to be a bit crazy without judgement....we have fun. Neither is getting promises beyond being a good friend. So far, this feels good to me, tomorrow something may change......

Guest · Aug 7, 2011

Hi Karl, you are right it does seem we think a lot alike. Love to meet for coffee one fine day.... A big howdy on the not saying never....How the hell do I know how my thinking will change?<img src="https://vanlivingforum.com/images/boards/smilies/crazy.gif" align="absmiddle" border="0"> Or what the Big Mystery will lead me to... Ah life, what a deal...I sure do love it.... Stay well, Bri

Wild_E · Nov 7, 2011

4x4 <div>just re-read your post and like it more today than when I read it before. Very well worded.</div><div> </div><div>Too bad there are very few VanDweller or truck dweller women up in the Great White North. Sad really, that there are so few.</div><div> </div><div>"You need to change HOW you think, not what you think.</div>Try this on: Normal is defined by the Majority, who are (at best) Average.  And we all know Average is boring, simply because its so Common. So you are simply choosing to be Different, and that makes you Interesting by default! "In their right mind" <----most people have the same, tiny, dull, narrow mind.  <div>WHY would you want to hook up with one of them when you now have better options?"</div>

vandweller guys

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