Van Dwelling is a Blessing

[VanTrekker]

We've had some developments lately and I wanted to share how this unusual living arrangement is helping my Dad and I in a way I didn't anticipate.&nbsp; Some of us in the group are caregivers and live on someone's property.&nbsp; Some are&nbsp;concerned about where to go after a change.&nbsp; For me, it is a bit different.<br><br>Dad had a fall about 10 days ago.&nbsp; I was out camping at the time and he had to travel by ambulance to the hospital.&nbsp; Dad&nbsp;was physically undamaged but was pretty disoriented.&nbsp; He has a number of other health issues as well.&nbsp; Dad (of his own volition) agreed with the doctors' recommendation&nbsp;and went to assisted housing.&nbsp; (He is the only man there and surrounded by 24 women!)&nbsp; He likes many things about the place.&nbsp; It's an awesome facility.<br><br>Unfortunately, today we received bad news following some testing.&nbsp; Dad has the big "A" and must have 'round the clock care.&nbsp; Faced with worries and anxiety for months over how to help Dad the most,&nbsp;there was no decision to be made on my part.&nbsp; Sis and I are united in our support for the doctors' opinions.&nbsp; The docs told Dad he cannot live in his house any more due to memory issues&nbsp;and he will need a higher level of help than I can provide.&nbsp; He doesn't mind assisted living and all is working out smoothly.<br><br>What I did not expect is&nbsp;that&nbsp;vandwelling is continuing to help me help&nbsp;Dad even after he&nbsp;has moved to his new home.&nbsp;&nbsp;The old house&nbsp;is needing some heavy duty cleaning after years of "collecting" and "felines gone wild".&nbsp; For as long as it takes to make the home liveable / marketable, I will be residing in the driveway in my van (with shore power and a bathroom).&nbsp; The neighbors all know it and are cool with it.<br><br>Eventually the house may have to be sold and the money put toward his care.&nbsp; Dad laughed a little and said to live in the driveway as long as possible - the state may take his house some day anyway so&nbsp; I should park there as long as I can.&nbsp; His exact words about the state were "Awww, pi$$ on those bast**ds.&nbsp; They pick on old people.&nbsp;"&nbsp; Ya gotta&nbsp;love&nbsp;seniors - they don't mince words!<br><br>I am so glad that I did not have to commit him.&nbsp; It would have been an agonizing decision.&nbsp; Nature is taking its course.&nbsp; I thank God that things worked out as they did... as well as they could under the circumstances.&nbsp; All of our family relationships are still very strong and Dad's got&nbsp;his dignity intact.&nbsp; What a blessing!&nbsp; I am sad to see him decline but hopeful he will enjoy the last months or years of his life.<br><br>So, I'll still be terrorizing the neighborhood... the tie dye wearing guy living in a white van in a driveway.&nbsp; That's okay&nbsp;though.&nbsp; The van has&nbsp;helped to take my mind off what is not important (stress, debt, mental health problems, etc.)&nbsp;and helped me focus on the most important things in life:&nbsp; family, fishing, fitness, and fun.&nbsp; <br><br>Sis, Dad and I were reminded today of our mortality.&nbsp; Life is too short not to enjoy it and take care of each other and ourselves.&nbsp; Have a good one... or make it a good one!<br><br>Bradford aka "Van Trekker"<br><br>

 

[bobbert]

<p>Wow. What an eye opener!&nbsp;</p><p>Your post gives <strong>HOPE</strong> to people (guys like me) who are taking care of ailing fathers (&amp; mums as well).</p><p>Sorry to hear he is getting the beginning signs of&nbsp;Alzheimer's. Any idea on his lifespan??? (sorry to be nosy)-</p><p>Are you gonna do any structural repairs to the house in the meantime?</p><p>It's nice that your rig is well equipped &amp; ready.</p><p>Keep us posted on this subject as much as you can, PLEASE! I am dumbfounded as to what I will do when my ailing father kicks the bucket. We/I need ideas on what to do &amp; what not to do.</p><p>On a side note, my father's cancer has returned. The Dr's. are certain that the cancer has spread into his bone marrow <img src="/images/boards/smilies/frown.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"></p><p>KEEP US POSTED &amp; THANKS IN ADVANCE!</p>

 

[cyndi]

Glad that everything is working as well as could be possible, under the circumstances. My Dad also has Alzheimer's and the stress of caring for him has done some serious damage to my Mom (in spite of a boatload of support from my many siblings) I am going home to help out my Mom and support my wonderful sisters and brothers.

 

[VanTrekker]

<p>Sorry to hear about both of you folks' fathers.&nbsp; It's tough.<br><br>We don't know about Dad's rate of decline.&nbsp; He's got so many health problems that he may not be around long enough for the cognitive decline to be too severe.&nbsp; Time will tell.&nbsp; It's going slow enough we will still be able to enjoy some good times together.&nbsp; I plan to take him trout fishing this year if he is up to it.<br><br>The house problems are mainly related to clutter.&nbsp; Dad never throws stuff away.&nbsp; I'm going to have to...&nbsp; <br><br>The other problem is that cats ruined all the furniture and carpets.&nbsp; 3 of the 5 kitties went bye-bye and the two left (my cats) are going to have a cool little area&nbsp;rug in the garage, along with chairs, lighting and a radio. (They seem to&nbsp;like the local jazz station)&nbsp;&nbsp; The felines are not going to live in the main house any more though...<br><br>Have a good one!&nbsp; Take care and I wish all the best for your dad!</p><p>Brad</p>

 

[Seraphim]

DW and I recently went through the Alzheimer's experience&nbsp; with her mother.&nbsp; <br><br>Caregivers - never forget you need time to take care of yourselves.&nbsp; There are also support groups available in your community, if you look for them. THIS IS IMPORTANT for your own health and well being.<br><br>With Alzheimers, your family member will change until he/she seems to be a totally different person, and may say things which seem to be cruel and hurtful. Remember that this is not your loved one speaking to you, it is a symptom of the disease. Also, their memory loss will not be selective - don't be hurt when they look at you like a stranger. At that point in time, even if momentarily, you will be. I know of a woman who is currently her mother's best friend,&nbsp;who doesn't know that her best friend is her daughter. Though the relationship has changed, they still have a relationship.<br><br>Consider that their condition may continue for many years, but make use of the time you have, and don't go through it alone.&nbsp; There are others going through similar situations, and you cen be a support team for each other.<br><br><br>Our thoughts are with you guys (and gals).

 

[cleanheart]

Brad, so good that you have such a good and positive attitude about all this. I'm so blessed that both my parents never had to deal with the big "A" and died peacefully after years of suffering. <br>My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!<br>Marsha