Unencumbered, yet still encumbered. That is the feeling this morning.
The unencumbered: No house. No job. No man. Only child grown, married, and happy. Nothing really tying me to this place/town. Own my wheels. Can live in wheels. In good health. Needs are small. Still fairly young. I'm feeling pretty free right now.
The encumbered: Why do I still feel like I have so much STUFF?! (yes, I will be purging more of just the stuff I brought to my daughter's house during this weekend and week's yucky weather) I still am not sure what is to be done with the furniture I left at the old man's house. Fear of the unknown.
Speaking of, just watched the Enigmatic Nomatic's video with Bob questioning the three women on Women and Safety. Nice video!
Hey, that is what I DO when it's the middle of the night and I can't sleep, lol, I read. The message was pretty good timing, for me. Lots of very good points were made.
I don't really worry about bodily safety, not in the van. I lock the doors and go to sleep. At least in a van you can hop in the seat and take off. Who can say that living in a house? You are trapped. When I leave soon for Arizona, it will be the first time I will take a gun with me. I've never felt the need before, and have never felt like I have wished I had had it on the road before. Am only taking it with me to Arizona because this house is still up for sale, and I'd hate for someone to break in while I'm gone, empty house, steal the gun, and me be responsible for it. More than likely, will keep it unloaded and put away the entire time without even thinking about it.
No, bodily harm is not my fear. Breaking down?? Oh yeah. haha. But, I've been broke down many times, and I'm still kicking. Fix it and go on. Just hate that feeling, is all. Keep telling myself the van has had all the belts, hoses, plugs, wires, radiator, water pump replaced, along with a new transmission. Getting oil change before I leave out. The tires have all been checked recently and in good shape and have a full rimmed new spare plus AAA and roadside on my insurance. The only biggy is the motor. So far the motor has been purring, for all I've put her through. Worse case scenario, she bites the dust at 124k miles. Scrap it, rent a vehicle to get back home, I have alternate car for now until I find another van, cause yeah, I'm gonna want another one, I'm hooked.
Another immediate fear is.. and this will sound stupid... but, getting to the RTR and not knowing where to park. It's true!! Like, uh, what if I happen to infringe on someone else's space without knowing it. I'd hate to get someone upset at my faux pas. Wish there were like a tour guide at the entrance that points out available parking, lol!!
Or, like in the Oklahoma land run, find a marker and put your flag there marking it's your spot. Hey, I can dream.
Then there's the fear of just doing it, letting go, and going for it. It's scary. When you've known and have been taught to think a certain way your whole life, something different is frightening. But can be exciting. What other perfect opportunity is there, for me, than right now? I can't think of any, to be honest. Well.. more in the bank, sure. But if we waited for everything to be perfect then you'll be waiting til you're cold in the grave.
Of course that other fear is the income aspect. That will come in it's time. It's just money and there's a million ways to earn it. Don't need much anyways.
And honestly, mobile might be best, as this area is pretty bad off with job openings due to the oilfield here being mostly shut down. (positive thinking, positive thinking)
Bah... early morning blabberings, just ignore... Not really much of a 'Captain' for the most part on this thread, lol. Although, me and the kid DID take the van to Walmart the other night, the week of Christmas shopping, so that should be considered some sort of driving adventure, right??
So, here I sit, all alone on Christmas morning.. singing to myself.. "She's making a list, she's checking it twice.. gonna find out if she's gonna have to go into Blythe... The RTR is coming... real soon..." My doggy has already came in to check on me, snorted, turned on her heels and went back to her bed, lol. I guess she doesn't like my singing.
