The negativity we are receiving

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DarianPerry18

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Aug 31, 2020
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question what did you guys do when you got a lot of negativity when you wanted to do this? Me an my husband will be new at this soon still getting everything together what should we do about all the negativity cause they want to put us in fear and we wanna do this.
 
Welcome to the CRVL forums! To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips, Tricks and Rules" post lists some helpful information to get you started.

Most of our rules boil down to two simple over-riding principles: 1) What you post should provide good information (like your introductory post), and 2) Any response to someone else's post should make them feel glad they are part of this forum community.

We look forward to hearing more from you.

I am going to move this to the "Newcomers corner"

highdesertranger
 
I ignored the negativity and went ahead and did it anyway.  This is my fourth year.  I still get negativity from family, who somehow think I want to live in their houses and hate pooping in a bucket.  I don't want to live in their stuffy houses and I don't mind the bucket.  I personally would go through a heck of a lot of inconvenience to be free, which I did, and now I am.  Keep your eyes on the prize and ignore the uninformed naysayers.  It is all worth it.
 
Darian, welcome to the forum. For my part, I have to keep reminding my older sister that she isn't really the head of the "extended" family. [font=Roboto, Arial, sans-serif](this is my message to you-ou-ou)[/font]
 
You say that they have brought up some interesting points and that you will keep them in mind as you prepare. Thank you
 
Everyone always is trying to tell others how to live an what shade tree to lay under. It was hard for me all the "scorn" I was recieving for making a choice like this. It nearly cost a couple freindships simply because many of the remarks were very insulting.

I think most folks now know of my needs and they are understanding the purpose more. It started by my forceful "Do NOT Pity ME"responses. I now have more family and friends who are truly excited for me and are active particpants in assisting me.

I think the more you educate "those people" the more likely they will change their perspective on your choices.

It worked for me.. now  those who scorned me just laugh with me when we talk about pooping in buckets and showering in a mixing pan.
 
Well it is pretty easy to point out the economic benefits, environmental benefits, and enjoyment you will get being free of property. I just made sure my behavior pissed them off enough they were glad to see me go! The warrant won’t get issued until the day after you leave! You could always tell them you didn’t want to be called to testify against them after turning them in for the reward! Tell them it was either this or a sailboat going around the world! The Peace Corps wouldn’t let you go to Africa so you decided to try this. Lol!! Have fun with it you will be having your own problems you don’t need theirs.
 
I have changed course so many times in my life,
that if I had to explain my choices and get approval every time,
I would be still in step 1, phase 1.

I think, my near and dear (or both), finally got used to me.

Tell them you'll send pictures...
 
I ask them what the alternative would be for me, based on my retirement monthly income? Let them do the math.
 
You aren't gonna live in a van in the Walmart parking lot. You are gonna travel and see the country! The Grand Canyon! Fish for salmon on the Columbia River! Lobster in Maine! BBQ in Tennessee! How about Alaska? Mountain forests and streams in summer, desert bloom in spring. How can anybody be negative about that?

Every single person I told was excited and jealous. But I never said I was living in my van. I said I was traveling. However, I would not mention any big city names these days. Like Seattle, Portland, Chicago, LA, etc.

Best wishes and Happy Trails. Oh, the stories you will tell...
 
DarianPerry18 said:
question what did you guys do

I haven't really told many people.  I anticipate most not being able to understand. If you watched Bob's last video.. that would explain where I tend to come from.. ..

 
Stargazer said:
You aren't gonna live in a van in the Walmart parking lot.  You are gonna travel and see the country!  The Grand Canyon!  Fish for salmon on the Columbia River!  Lobster in Maine!  BBQ in Tennessee!  How about Alaska?  Mountain forests and streams in summer, desert bloom in spring.  How can anybody be negative about that?

Every single person I told was excited and jealous.  But I never said I was living in my van.  I said I was traveling.  However, I would not mention any big city names these days.  Like Seattle, Portland, Chicago, LA, etc.

Best wishes and Happy Trails.  Oh, the stories you will tell...

Amen on the “I’m traveling while I’m still young/healthy enough to do it” response. Be excited about the adventures you expect to have. Don’t get into arguments about whether it’s smart. Just say it’s something you’d really like to do, and you’re really looking forward to doing it. If the can’t be happy for you, well - that’s their problem, not yours.
 
It was an observation of my Father that once you get away from where you live, your friends & family that you
will incur less of this as those who don't know you won't care.   Dad seemed to think the "family network" didn't want to see you leave due to such things as jealousy or losing someone that they are emotionally close to or depend on (somehow).  As for friends,  they don't want to loose a friend especially in older years as they aren't so able to make new friends as they were when they were young.  (so for them it is a sadness or heart break)

As for those on the road who may want to mouth off to you,  I find that when I travel  that if I dress well and stay clean & well groomed, keep my rig clean and respectable looking that no one gives me any crap.  I tend to look like a Tourist or traveling Tradesman so I don't get profiled as a vagrant.
 
It's like you are hearing on one hand...go home...and on the other hand,   don't leave.   I would suggest to go on the road and not get too close with anyone.  After awhile you'll adjust to being on the road and not having a lot of people you're close to around you all the time. (and their input or negative views)
 
Sometimes they just don't want to get the "I'm broke down, can you lend me a thousand bucks" phone call.

Those who make rejection of "normalcy" the primary driver for living a mobile life will find their own choices criticized in turn by friends and family. If your talk is all about freedom from the rat race, bills, obligations etc. You fall into this category.

Whereas those who focus on the travel and adventure aspect of life on the road will have a far more positive reception. After all, who doesn't dream of heading out on a vacation with no end date? Even the skeptics can't hold out when they see picture after picture of postcard - worthy scenery on your social media.
 
jacqueg said:
Amen on the “I’m traveling while I’m still young/healthy enough to do it” response.

..where as I am old and going to do it anyway...  :D
 
I guess the folks that know me realized a long time ago it was a waste of their time to question my motives.

I really don't care what others think about any of my lifestyle choices. Now, if you want to partake in your own adventure I'll be happy to have that conversation.
 
When I tell people about the extensive mods to my rig, my plan to dwell and travel in it and combine the concept of work and vacation, people give me fist-bumps. When I say I want to escape living in an apartment community and dealing with the hassles of inner city life, people give me more fist-bumps.

Almost 100% people say to me "I'm jealous" and then tell me they wish they weren't tied to their mortgages and routine. Some say they wish they were brave enough to have such a dream and invest in it like I do.

A lot of it is a matter of perspective and you can't live your life just trying to please others, that's impossible. Think of the pioneers that paved their way across this country and the countless people that immigrated here, they did what they had to and "keeping up with the Jones's" wasn't a priority.

I applaud everyone's pioneering spirit and sense of adventure. Never apologize for escaping from insanity!

.
 
Interesting perspectives in this thread.

I don't remember any negative reactions, strangely. When I told my dad, he invited me over to his house and gave me a copy of his Thousand Trails directory, and gave me some road tips. He's on his seventh RV, which is a Sprinter Class B, and was on the road for 6 months in 2018. My brother is a tattooist who used to work Sturgis every year, my stepfather is a former biker, and my daughter used to do WOOFing (traveling and working on farms).

In short, my family all understands the itchy feet because they have it too.
 
I had a few advantages going into this lifestyle. First, I'm an introvert and less dependent upon the approval of others. Second, I've always been the weird guy in the family, so this life choice is not too surprising to my relatives. Third, I'm divorced with no children, so that's fewer people to care what I do. Fourth, most of my pre-nomad friends are open to new experiences and different ways of living, which is why they're my friends.

The polite way to deal with the nay-sayers is, "Thank you for your concern." The impolite way is "F#*k off. You live your life, I'll live mine."
 
I read this and thought, I don't remember commenting in this thread. It sounds exactly like me, especially being the weird guy in the family. In my early 40''s I quit my job to ride a bicycle across the country, they didn't understand that one either but they really got into it as they followed my journal. I'm getting some of the same misgivings now as I retire early to go fulltime boondocking. They will get over it and then live vicariously through me.
 

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