Solo traveller while hubby and the kid stay home. LOTS of questions!

[Sandra]

Hi Everyone!  My husband and I are in our 50's and our children are students, ages 18 and 23 years old living at home with us.  With the insecurity of my husband's job and his age, I asked him to consider early retirement if he loses his job and we hit the road on extended road trips around Canada and the United States.  We aren't rich at all, but we don't have a mortgage and just pay monthly housing bills (gas, electric, basis cable, internet, land taxes, and a townhouse maintenance fee.) We also have an off-the-grid cabin in the woods that doesn't cost much ($400 annual land taxes, gas for the generator, basic maintenance costs, it's basically "glamping".  Our living expenses aren't crazy high, but we still need an income to pay our monthly household bills.  I've been researching on-the-road-jobs.  We are Canadian so can't work in the United States, although most of our travel will be in the USA.  We discussed this with our children and asked if they would like to take over our bills for the townhouse while we are on the road in a couple of years, basically renting the townhouse while we are gone.  They like that idea.  Since we don't plan to hit the road for at least 2 years from now, we all have the opportunity to lean into this idea.  
NOW here's the  thing, I might have the opportunity to hit the road for a month alone, without the kids or my husbands.  I feel guilty leaving them, but also excited at the thought of challenging myself on a solo road trip.  I have physical and mental disabilities that make driving for a long time hard, so I would be only driving 2 to a few hours per day.  I also get extremely tired very fast and worry that could impair my trip.  I'm thinking of just doing a few short trips around my province before challenging myself to a cross country trip.  One of my concerns is having a panic attack on the road thousands of miles from home.  
QUESTIONS:
1.  Have you every travelled a a solo woman leaving your kids and hubby at home?  Please share your experiences.
2.  Do you have physical or mental disabilities and travel solo?  
3.  What do you do if you have a panic attack?
4.  Are there solo woman traveller meet ups around the Buffalo / Niagara Falls area?
Thanks!  Sandra

 

[Optimistic Paranoid]

QUESTIONS:
1.  Have you every travelled a a solo woman leaving your kids and hubby at home?  Please share your experiences.
2.  Do you have physical or mental disabilities and travel solo?  
3.  What do you do if you have a panic attack?
4.  Are there solo woman traveller meet ups around the Buffalo / Niagara Falls area?
Thanks!  Sandra

Hi Sandra.  There is a very active Woman's Forum here, and many many ladies who travel solo hang out there.  You might want to repost this down there.

Not that you are not absolutely welcome here - you are.  But I'm not sure if everybody who hangs out there checks these other forums, many of the people on the road have limited bandwidth, so it's possible you'll have better luck getting your questions answered there.

Welcome and Good Luck!

 

[shadowmoss]

Many years ago I was working a contract job in downtown Nashville, TN and I started having panic attacks about driving home.  It came out of nowhere, as I've always driven a lot, on my own, and had lived in and around Nashville for years.  I would just sit and play Solitaire on my work computer until I felt better.  That took the pressure off of having to drive home Right Now.  Then, I would just start walking to my car.  If I still felt panicked, I would just sit in my car until I felt better.

I don't know if that works for you, but that is the closest I've come to that kind of attack.  It happens infrequently to me now, and I just sit down and breathe.  Not much has to happen in the next half hour to an hour.

 

[decodancer]

I say go for it, your kids are not really kids and will appreciate you more if they have to do for themselves. As far as panic attacks, the constant fear of having one is the hardest part. They come on without warning and then they're gone. I've been dealing with them for years and still travel solo. I do avoid tunnels and driving in big cities whenever I can as that is my trigger but just tell yourself "I can do this" and you can.

 

[Almost There]

I solo travel and love it! I can't see myself living any other way!

I'm also a fellow Canadian. Keep in mind when you're making plans that you can only spend six months of the year total in the US. This is per US visitor regulations. If you're collecting OAS you also must spend 6 months in Canada to remain eligible. Provincial health insurance residency requirements vary with BC being only 6 months in the province, Ontario is 6 months.

Depending on the province that you're from, how much seasonal work you might both be able to find. It sounds like you're from Ontario and if you're from the southwestern part (asked about Buffalo/Niagara Falls meetups so I'm guessing), there might be ample campground work that would be a perfect fit for seasonal work for either one or both of you. 

I haven't had a panic attack in more than a decade, mostly because my overall stress levels are way down. But when I did, I simply went back in my RV, laid down for a 1/2 hour, had a nap and got up and headed out without a second occurrence. Not sure what caused it in the first place so I'm probably no help at all.

 

[Mizmozy]

Do it. As a seventy year old solo traveler with mobility issues, I can assure you that you will never be younger or possibly healthier than you are now.  Take it slow and easy.  Be gentle and patient with yourself.  This will be more than an adventure.  It will be a learning experience.  With the right attitude, you will return to your family a stronger, more confident woman.  Conquering mountains--whatever your mountain may be--is the best feeling in the world.

 

[WalkaboutTed]

I can't count how many times I've left my husband and kids (under 10) before on vacations. I've done more than my share over the years and deserve the peace and quiet. If I'm going internationally or to a less than safe place, I always make sure my will is updated and any arrangements are in place. And do not pay ransom for me. I'm not worth it.

The only major panic attack was when I was in a little ryokan (Japanese inn) in Unzen National Park in Kyushu and ran out of English books to read. I could have gotten by with ones in Spanish or German, but there was nothing! That was before the Kindle.

 

[StarEcho]

My husband and I are in our 50's too and I've been going south (from Colorado) from Jan to March for the past couple years. My youngest is 22 now. (4 total). I'm glad I have because in a few days I'm going to pick my mom up and bring her to live with us. After that, unless I drag her with me I won't be going anywhere. So... go for it. Re the panic attacks, I've been blessed to not have that problem. Although I'm on the verge of one now....

 

[TrainChaser]

Panic attacks end.  Take books to read, a deck of cards for solitaire (or do them online).

Leaving the hubby and kids is a good thing for them -- it allows them to think for themselves, and do for themselves, still knowing that Mom will be home eventually.  TIP:  don't let them get away with leaving all the dishes and laundry for you to do when you return.  If it's all there waiting for you, just tell them they need to get busy, and then you go take a nap.

I just finished reading Judge Judy's (Sheindlin) first book (1990), titled Beauty Fades, Dumb is Forever.  The part about how she trained her husband was absolutely PRICELESS!  I was sitting here, laughing my head off.