Seriously, so you want to be in love again...

[maki2]

Of course it is in your hands to love someone..well anyway use a touch to show your feelings for another. Your heart might do a faster beat when you are near that loved one.

Love is not just some mystic, ethereal feeling that resides somewhere "out there". It is a whole body experience involving all sorts of hormones. Not just the sexual ones but also the parent child bonding hormones as well as platonic friendship bonding hormones. Obviously serotonin is also stimulated snd it can be pretty addictive! Our thoughts are part of the experience but they are not and never have been the sum total of "being in love".

 

[wayne49]

She learned from her mistake.

 

[nature lover]

I don’t believe Love is much than a feeling it is a choice and a commitment. I’m old-fashioned enough to believe in the wedding vows till death do us part. That’s the promise I made and that’s the promise I’ll keep. What she does is her business. I’ve gotten over sitting in Crying, but I haven’t got to feeling good about it yet.

 

[RoamerRV428]

anyone who dissects love and puts it in some science category to be explained don't get it and never will

define love
define God
define commitment on a personal level
define real truth
define purpose of life
define judgement of each of us against another

come on LOL

we wanna, but it ain't happening. One can define it on a personal note but not ever truth for another. no facts, give it up on trying to fact it all out

 

[WILD@HEART]

Allow....your heart to unfold...

 

[Dingfelder]

Seriously, what love are we talking about???

• “Eros” or Erotic Love. The first kind of love is Eros, which is named after the Greek god of love and fertility. ...
• “Philia” or Affectionate Love. ...
• “Storge” or Familiar Love. ...
• “Ludus” or Playful Love. ...
• “Mania” or Obsessive Love. ...
• “Pragma” or Enduring Love. ...
• “Philautia” or Self Love. ...
• “Agape” or Selfless Love.So

So where should I look for a fuller discussion?

 

[JDub]

Doubt it... Not against it at all but, I'm over 60 and pretty set in my ways - not to mention my late wife would be a pretty tough act to follow (VERY unfair for any woman)... I think it's gonna be me and the dog staring at each other...

Cheers!

 

[RonDean]

It's an old thread with a couple of recent posts, but I'll insert my 2 cents anyway. Relating to RV living (Van-life), is "Love" a euphemism for romance or sex? Or is it in reference to companionship and friendship and actually "caring" for another person?

I am at a point in my life (age) where the urgent need for sex has somewhat diminished. But, I would sometimes like to have someone fill those other human needs I mentioned. I am comfortable traveling solo, but I often miss being able to share a thought or experience. Not so much that I would link up with just anyone, but if the right someone happened across my path and felt likewise... Sure.

 

[rruff]

Relating to RV living (Van-life), is "Love" a euphemism for romance or sex? Or is it in reference to companionship and friendship and actually "caring" for another person?

Per the title, being "in love" would typically involve all of the above and a little more I think... a deep connection and a desire to be intimate with a person in all ways. At least, that is now it works for me.

But what you are talking about is very nice as well, and probably more realistic and practical for many older folk.

 

[RonDean]

Hey, I'm not saying I would spurn sex or a romantic liaison, as long as I am able. And, so far - so good. It's just that in time you learn maybe those other things are more important and more lasting. And especially in nomadic life, it can be tempting to either pick the wrong acquaintances or spend too much time talking to ourselves.

On reflection. maybe it's time for me to hook up with a caravan. (smiles)

 

[karl]

Oh, damn, haven't posted here in years, but it so happens this was a topic of discussion over dinner with a dear friend tonight.
A lot of water under the bridges of my life.
I had one really exceptional love in my life, since then no woman has been able to meet the challenge.
I'm now long in the tooth, sex means much less than years past. A touch in the night is sorely missed , as is sharing a meal, a beautiful view, a museum or a moment. I would so love to be in love again, but the parameters have shifted a bit. Absolutely I would like a sexual relationship, but that is a distant second, maybe third to a platonic love of having someone to trust in times of crisis

 

[LargeMarge]

...touch in the night
...sharing a meal, a beautiful view, a museum or a moment...

I would like a sexual relationship, but that is a distant second, maybe third to a platonic love of...someone to trust...

.
For decades, we participated in weekends and other workshops with Human Awareness Institute ('HAI').
Centered in beautiful Harbin HotSprings Resort in northern California, the isolation allowed the group -- usually a hundred or more, with facilitators, and experienced interns of usually 3:1 and 2:1 -- to focus on Intimacy -- In To Me You See.
.
Unfortunately, the northern California fires of 2015 flattened the Great Lodge at Harbin and wiped the nearby rustic village of Middletown off the map.
.
Although my transformation was a long-haul from my days working in penitentiary settings -- plus my focused 'on-task' years as a commercial pilot -- I am pretty sure we can go anyplace on this particular planet for a hug and snuggle.
.
Thought For The Day:
* How am I defining 'intimacy'?
As Heinlein wrote decades ago:
* Can you imagine loving everybody loving and kind and genuine.
Loving with your heart so big, you are invincible.
.
In a different thread -- Would You Be Comfortable Over-Nighting Here (+/-) -- I discuss walking into the equivalent of a lion's den, surrounded by dope-fiends, thieves, and other broken souls.
Meditation For The Day:
* How often do I rejoice in the opportunity to touch the broken child hidden inside that other crusty shell?
I am pretty sure we are all just minor variations of broken little kids.
.
But do I loan them money?
Get real...

 

[rruff]

Great post, LargeMarge!

 

[maki2]

At a senior age people have long since have trained their previous partners into accepting their ways of doing things and are not often willing to adapt all over again to doing things differently.

The first sign of inflexibility usually comes within a few days when a person tells me what their bedtime, wakeup time, mealtimes, what foods they like or dislike and their daily schedules for camping activities such as what days they move camp, go shopping, dolaundry etc. Then also tell me what hours of the day I can visit. In other words they tell me how I have to act and when I can do so. I am expected to fit into their routines without compromise. If you are a "my way or the highway" person you should be content to stay on your separate highway as you are not a good candidate for a long term relationship unless you find a helpless, emotionaly dependent, person who is willing to give up all their own needs to meet yours.

 

[JDub]

At a senior age people have long since have trained their previous partners into accepting their ways of doing things and are not often willing to adapt all over again to doing things differently.

The first sign of inflexibility usually comes within a few days when a person tells me what their bedtime, wakeup time, mealtimes, what foods they like or dislike and their daily schedules for camping activities such as what days they move camp, go shopping, dolaundry etc. Then also tell me what hours of the day I can visit. In other words they tell me how I have to act and when I can do so. I am expected to fit into their routines without compromise. If you are a "my way or the highway" person you should be content to stay on your separate highway as you are not a good candidate for a long term relationship unless you find a helpless, emotionaly dependent, person who is willing to give up all their own needs to meet yours.

"Chad, make me a FRITTATA"!

 

[wb8vyn]

Having lost my spouse, after a 59 year marriage, I've found by experience that replacement is impossible.

Agree. Old man here. Now at 83 years of age, Measuring time till MY end. Alone now for just over 2 years.
Once in a while one of the older ladies stops to share a coffee with me and i do enjoy a woman's sound and smell.
When that time passes, I think back over the years with my wife. No one will ever be like her and fill the nooks and cranny's the way she did. Not even close. We built those places over a life time, starting young and struggling to just live. And live we did. Laughing and crying, fighting and making up, forgiving mistakes totally.
Like you said, "replacement" Impossible!

 

[wb8vyn]

Btw, out of curiosity, John are you single? Currently in love? If not, do you want to be? Why or why not?
Ding, same questions for you. All your single admirers want to know..
Of course, if you both wish to answer.
Anyone else?

I can say for myself that I would LOVE to find that special person to cherish. My fantasy is to sit on a porch swing together/ quiet Vista, relaxing and just chatting, sharing thoughts, watching a beautiful sunset, being emotionally close.
And society or family or whatever would not be an impediment or excuse. Never was. It wouldn't matter in the slightest to me.

Some thoughts about "love".
When I met my wife over 60 years ago, I used words like Love but now I realize that the bottom line was lust along with liking many of the same things especially being free of controlling older adults, church, community and just rules. She and I wanted to make our own rules
We decided that we were old enough to make our own decisions.
One decision we made was that we wanted kids right away cause she was pregnant, so we got married. Funny how that works.
Well then we had to WORK for the same thing, All those "rules" that we thought were holding us back from living a fun, exciting life began to hold us back from the fast lane, Babies will do that, funny how that works.
We were just getting by so we spent lots of time planning our next move, BUT with no spare money, we thought about how big our family should be because she was pregnant again.
We decided that I'd better get a second job so that we would have less free time at home. We decided that to much time at home caused babies. I tried to tell her that it was her fault cause she was a female, she said it was my fault cause I was a male.
We argued. she said "don't touch me" I said OK "don't touch me then". For some reason she was pregnant again. Funny how that works.
We decided that arguments and free time caused babies.
Years went by like a blink it seems. We did argue some and had more free time as we grew older. I still liked her voice, her smell, believe it or not she touched me a lot, I know I touched her a lot, She just felt good to me, She never did get wrinkles or grey hair that I remember. I think that's love, Or poor eyesight.
Then one day she died.
No one can undo the lust and free time and arguments or touches tastes and smells that are part of me.
One thing I can comment on though, The part of us that made our lives together possible was a promise made to each other until death do us part, for better or worse, in sickness and health. forsaking all others.
Honor seems to short supply these days. Honor your promise. to the one you lust after and are infatuated with. years of arguments and free time, lack of money the taste and smell and a voice and a snore and a touch over time will become love, until one day you will gladly trade your life for one moment more with her.

 

[wb8vyn]

Been thinkin' again.
I've spent lots of time over the past couple of years with this knot in my stomach. I don't think it's going away ever.
Thinking back over many years, I do remember seeing other women and admiring them, after all I was still a man, but never, ever acted on those thoughts, never even crossed my mind.
Again thinkin' there have been times that I've been "hit on" that went right over my head being too caught up in getting used to being just one.
Taking care of myself, like food, and laundry which were not my usual thing.
Recently, I've come to realize that since I've become more efficient, There is much more time to just wait and wait and wait for time to pass.
My logical mind has become selfish. Thinking more of just me. I don't like that.
Some one posted that "love" is a chemical conglomeration. If so, which I agree may be partly true, but there is more I think.
It dawned on me yesterday, when my wife's sister stopped by. (family of 15, 9 girls and 6 brothers). So different but in many ways so much alike. I like them all, they are good people.
In passing She asked if I was "seeing" anyone? Her husband' Gary, shushed her, telling her it was none of her business.
I'm an old man but I'm not dead yet and still a man. Still I have been closed up and choosing to not be seen, Lights out, inside, only going out to get groceries once every two weeks and to do outside chores like mowing the grass or getting the mail.
I've got my smaller tow behind trailer ready to go. All I need to do is put some cloths and food in there and it's ready to go. Even got it hooked to my pickup. All I have to do it turn the key and drive away. But, I'm scared to leave behind the stuff and memories that have been my life.
Again, I think that's selfish. I know that once I take that action, I will cry again. Men don't cry!
Still, I have that "love" that I used to give to my wife every day bottled up that is the cause of the knot in my stomach.
Just thought of something. I forgot to eat something today.
Ya know what? Love it not love till you give it away. Some how I am going to find some one to give it too, I little here and a little there, maybe a lot here and there.
I don't think Linda would be mad at me so long as I keep our promise and save her place.
Here I go, first cloths and then tools and then food. It's time!

 

[JDub]

Best of luck to you! Drive safe and Have fun.

Cheers!

 

[wb8vyn]

Best of luck to you! Drive safe and Have fun.

Cheers!

NO- It's not going to be "fun". I have been thinkin' again.
Over the years it was "fun" to come HOME. To problems that needed solving and being asked to be 100% involved with each child and my wife at the same time.
Looking back now, after the fact, that was "fun"!
No more fun here and there will be no fun where ever I happen to find myself.
What I hope is to just move from place to place and keep breathing another breath and look at what ever is in front of me.
There may come a time or place when I can be helpful to hurry along some one else find their way to their "fun".
Today, I woke up and decided to check my order for solar panels and controller for my trailer, not shipped yet. Oh well maybe tomorrow. That's the last piece that I need to be self sufficient when I leave all of these things that have memories behind.
Got the oil and filter changed on the pickup, tomorrow I'll check the air in all the tires and maybe mow more of the weeds in the yard.
Here I sit- remembering -- My son who is away on his sail boat, Only saw him once this summer, Memories return , How Linda and I stuck off by ourselves while we were "dating" and talking about what our lives were going to be like when we had enough money, about, not just us two, but what it would be like to be a family, you know where we would live and about having kids. What that would be like. Then she told me that she was pregnant, Wow, At that moment, I grew up, like a shot. She trusted me and by dam sure I was going to be trust worthy. Until that moment the future was just dreaming, At that moment the future hit me head on, like I'd been hit by lighting. At that moment, I stopped dreaming.
We went the next day and did all the blood tests and got a marriage license, there was a waiting period back then. But it was full steam ahead, crossing all the "Ts and dotting all the "Is" and life really began. This was real!, It's still real, our son is out on his boat somewhere right now, That lighting strike is still here and there and now!
So, As I begin to live again, sort of, each day is just a dream, like back then.
Is there a new jolt of lightning. I don't think I can handle anything like that again. So, I think I'll roam along or wander until the lights go out.