Almost There said:Since you have to stick around the city, have you looked at a gym membership - no need to work out.. but the showers would go a long way to keeping up with hygiene. Trust me, no one will notice if all you do is go in and shower. Everyone is too self-absorbed to keep track of what you're doing. Hot tub or sauna is a bonus though!
So...I have to wear a chemical cartridge respirator, a.k.a. 'gas mask', when I go out and about due to severe Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. Trust me, people notice. The mask cannot get wet or be exposed to high humidity, but I cannot take it off in most showers because the residues of products used previously cause my airways to shut. There is a process for making a bathroom safe for me to take my mask off in, but it generally takes a day or two. I cart around a huge showerhead filter and my own towels just in case I get that opportunity, but unfortunately I don't think I'll find it at a gym.
bindi&us said:Bitty...I can't speak for other's PTSD issues, but for me, I felt therapists, groups, and meds were causing more problems (almost like enabling), so I got as far from all that crap as I could. I find that the joy and excitement of travel does me the most good. I don''t even go off the deep end when things don't work in my favor anymore. The program that was supposed to be helping me was doing more harm than good.
I can believe it. I found a book called Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal which is chalk full of stories like yours. It was written by a therapist who noticed that standard talk therapy was actually worsening a lot of PTSD cases rather than helping. As a therapist, she set out on a mission to figure out what's actually healing to people who've been traumatized, so that she could contribute to that process helpfully. Reading that book really validated my experience and made me feel hopeful that if I want therapy, there is a type that could actually be beneficial. My boyfriend picked me up after my first somatic therapy session, and after we'd been hanging out a while he was like "I have never seen you this calm before". That's after 5 months of being together. So I'm pretty optimistic!
rvpopeye said:Bitty
From your description of those near misses, SOMEBODY IS WATCHING OUT FOR YOU.
Don't stress but be happy about that !
I agree someone is watching out for me. However near misses are a trigger for me just like spiders are a trigger for people with arachnophobia or needles are a trigger for someone with a needle phobia. Any reasoning that the thing in question could be good falls on deaf ears because a trigger supersedes rationale. For me, near misses send me back to the days I was on the verge of death multiple times a day for years on end. The same mindset, surge of adrenaline and internal fight that kept me alive then now activates from near misses even well after the danger has passed. Writing even this much has triggered a doozy of a reaction already, which brings up one thing I hope to get out of therapy...the ability to mention this stuff without sending myself spiraling.