I fell silent on my conversion thread because frankly I was too embarrassed to post pictures of my messy setup upon moving in to an only partially completed build with fundamental design flaws. I get full points for creative solutions, if I do say so myself, but duct tape and bins falling over emptying their contents every time I drive only goes so far.
It's hard sometimes to remember this forum is for me, too, even though by some perspectives I may be "failing" at van life--or perhaps that's just my warped imagination of others' perspectives. In reality, this lifestyle is still giving me the most autonomy and stability I've ever had. It's just, y'know, hard and all that.
I've been in the minivan for several weeks now, I've lost track. No cooking area, so I cannot yet explore camp stoves, as I had been hoping to. I do now have a cutting board, however! I attached one to the top of my fridge, since I've been using it as a cutting board/food prep surface ever since I first got it. It's an old, noisy thing, loud enough to compromise my stealth as people walk by and do a double-take. Dammit.
Sharing a twin-sized bed with a boyfriend and *stuff* crowding in is....more 'adventure' than I'd prefer. Which means the boyfriend is getting his own place, and my "stuff" is beginning to find all its places, whether that's in storage, my van, donation bin or the trash. Slowly but surely, improvement is happening as I work my butt off day in day out.
I've always previously been hesitant about minimalism, having been raised to value a "prepare for anything--stockpile" mentality plus a "buying in bulk is cheaper--be frugal" mentality. I had an epiphany the other day when I returned from my folk's place with a vanload of STUFF that I'd forgotten was mine, planning to sell or donate most of it but not quite ready to in that moment. Hah, well...I managed to add it all into my 4 X 5 storage unit alright, but the end result of Stuff Tetris was patently unsafe and inaccessible to boot. And I just looked at that pile an went Ummmm....no. Stuff has to go. Thing is, I could upgrade to a larger storage unit, or I could store things at my folk's place, but neither of those possibilities sound nearly as good as downsizing. I'm not okay with a higher bill just to store more unused items and I'd rather not rely on my folks. I've reached the point where I'm more willing to make painful sacrifices in light of the Greater Good...of, erm, having a functional life.
In the meantime I continue to organize my van, too. The other day I finally found a spot of the kleenex box always floating around--after researching kleenex holders for about an hour, it dawned on me to try grabbing some of the double-backed carpet tape I have and just stick the box itself directly to one of my plastic bins. It's still there nearly a week later so it looks like I have my solution. One down, 999 to go. I wish there was beer on the wall.
I've begun to develop an answer to well-meaning friends who ask "do you plan to get housing soon so your life can be more stable?" What they don't see is that with my unique set of issues, there isn't a stable housing situation available to me. Granted, my life in a van is pretty chaotic and still more survival-level than comfortable-level. They do have a point, but housing isn't the solution. Instead, in a flurry of self-help I began listing out things that would actually stabilize my life, such as getting enough sleep at night, having my medical emergencies taken care of, and a sufficient food budget. This was helpful when I recently managed to get into therapy (after banging on closed doors and exploring dead ends since November) and I could show the therapist that list, demonstrating that vandwelling is not the issue. People these days.
I'm doing it. I'm not doing it well by others' standards, but in the words of my boyfriend, "You work harder than anyone I know". And somewhere in the back of my mine I have to believe that's going to be enough.
It's hard sometimes to remember this forum is for me, too, even though by some perspectives I may be "failing" at van life--or perhaps that's just my warped imagination of others' perspectives. In reality, this lifestyle is still giving me the most autonomy and stability I've ever had. It's just, y'know, hard and all that.
I've been in the minivan for several weeks now, I've lost track. No cooking area, so I cannot yet explore camp stoves, as I had been hoping to. I do now have a cutting board, however! I attached one to the top of my fridge, since I've been using it as a cutting board/food prep surface ever since I first got it. It's an old, noisy thing, loud enough to compromise my stealth as people walk by and do a double-take. Dammit.
Sharing a twin-sized bed with a boyfriend and *stuff* crowding in is....more 'adventure' than I'd prefer. Which means the boyfriend is getting his own place, and my "stuff" is beginning to find all its places, whether that's in storage, my van, donation bin or the trash. Slowly but surely, improvement is happening as I work my butt off day in day out.
I've always previously been hesitant about minimalism, having been raised to value a "prepare for anything--stockpile" mentality plus a "buying in bulk is cheaper--be frugal" mentality. I had an epiphany the other day when I returned from my folk's place with a vanload of STUFF that I'd forgotten was mine, planning to sell or donate most of it but not quite ready to in that moment. Hah, well...I managed to add it all into my 4 X 5 storage unit alright, but the end result of Stuff Tetris was patently unsafe and inaccessible to boot. And I just looked at that pile an went Ummmm....no. Stuff has to go. Thing is, I could upgrade to a larger storage unit, or I could store things at my folk's place, but neither of those possibilities sound nearly as good as downsizing. I'm not okay with a higher bill just to store more unused items and I'd rather not rely on my folks. I've reached the point where I'm more willing to make painful sacrifices in light of the Greater Good...of, erm, having a functional life.
In the meantime I continue to organize my van, too. The other day I finally found a spot of the kleenex box always floating around--after researching kleenex holders for about an hour, it dawned on me to try grabbing some of the double-backed carpet tape I have and just stick the box itself directly to one of my plastic bins. It's still there nearly a week later so it looks like I have my solution. One down, 999 to go. I wish there was beer on the wall.
I've begun to develop an answer to well-meaning friends who ask "do you plan to get housing soon so your life can be more stable?" What they don't see is that with my unique set of issues, there isn't a stable housing situation available to me. Granted, my life in a van is pretty chaotic and still more survival-level than comfortable-level. They do have a point, but housing isn't the solution. Instead, in a flurry of self-help I began listing out things that would actually stabilize my life, such as getting enough sleep at night, having my medical emergencies taken care of, and a sufficient food budget. This was helpful when I recently managed to get into therapy (after banging on closed doors and exploring dead ends since November) and I could show the therapist that list, demonstrating that vandwelling is not the issue. People these days.
I'm doing it. I'm not doing it well by others' standards, but in the words of my boyfriend, "You work harder than anyone I know". And somewhere in the back of my mine I have to believe that's going to be enough.
