Pride led to sudden homelessness

[Patrick46]

One trick I've done to overcome my especially bad organization, is that I now don't go ANYWHERE without my pocket notebook and a pen & pencil.

If I wanna remember something, I jot it down.

If I get an inspiration for a painting or illustration, I make a quickie sketch for future reference.

Shopping lists, names, phone numbers, dates, appointments...I write 'em all in there.


I've gotta tell ya...it's onna the best tricks I've ever tried, and it's working wonderfully!!

Don't think about it, just get one!

(Dollar Tree has 3 pocket notebooks, for a buck!)

 

[GrantRobertson]

(Dollar Tree has 3 pocket notebooks, for a buck!)

I love those Dollar Tree pocket notebooks. I use them all the time.

I am a big fan of David Allen's book, Getting Things Done, commonly referrd to as GTD. There are lots of tips in there for getting your life organized. I have taught them to a few friends and they all say it changed their life. The first tip is to "collect" every thought about something that needs done. It is best to put each thing on a different page of that notepad. That way you can tear out the page and put it in a file rather than rewrite or type it.

More later.

 

[GotSmart]

I am a big fan of David Allen's book, Getting Things Done, commonly referrd to as GTD. 

Here in Missouri Hillbilly country it is  GRD.  

GET R DUN!   :s  (Taters em maters en sodies  oh my!)

The pocket note books saved me a lot of hassle, and made me a lot of money.  Now I can take pictures with my phone and have a better record.

 

[GrantRobertson]

Ha! Me too but I don't get that fancy. I save envelopes from the mail, fold them in half and keep one in my back pocket. I let them pile up for a bit and go through them later to see if there is something I need a more permanent record of.

Guy

Heck, the guy who wrote the book says he just grabs any scrap of paper handy, writes down the "task" and stuffs it in his pocket. At the end of the day he cleans out his pockets and just dumps them in a box on his desk. He ignored them till Friday, when he goes through them and sorts them all out.

He is adamant that the "fanciness" of your tools is utterly irrelevant unless having fancy tools helps you enjoy the process better.

 

[SoulRaven]

I do a version of this and it has really made my life work a lot better. I EDC a small backpack due to medical necessities, so I carry a notebook perhaps 4'X6" to jot down anything and everything with. One usually lasts me nearly a year, so I have everything relevant in one book. I do addresses/phone numbers back to front, while everything else goes front to back. I also use my phone's pictures.

It's not a glamorous solution, but it works for me! And, when you take notes by hand it processes differently in your brain in a way that you recall it better even if you never look at the note again. Learned that from a neurologist professor who never provided handouts for precisely this reason!

 

[Patrick46]

I have never been an organized person. Now more than ever I need to learn how to be organized with my life.

one more

If you don't make plans for your life, AND follow them...someone else will be more than happy to do it for you. (altho, chances are, you won't like the results, as they're usually geared for the other person's benefit.)

 

[vanvanvanvan123]

16 days in a small SUV and so far no police hassles. Weather, is close to perfect from my pov, though we are in a long winded drought.
I am spending a lot of money on FOOD and FUEL. At my age frequent visits to bathrooms is a must. This causes need to visit a wide variety of places to use bathrooms. and thus increases fuel use.

My approach to SUV living, is seat of the pants, and my instinct is to never be hassled by police. So I do not "wear my welcome out" in any one locale for more than a few HOURS.
Question: If the disinterested police do question me, DOES the MERE FACT that they approached me
1) somehow register with all police in the county or even state?
2) or is it not formally entered into the cops "computer"?
3) I am assuming it is a bad idea to be questioned
I confess to having less liking towards police
Do I have leeway ( not a big deal ) with cop knocking on my window for sleeping in car, or is my instinct to never be bothered by them, closer to the wisest approach? This is san diego county btw.

I like to pay my car payment online- is there any online wifi place that you deem this to be a wise course, or is my ex girlfriends place still the best bet?

I am finding informing people you are the stigmata "homeless", is maybe not such a smart idea... opinions? i know some of you do not view selves as homeless.. but that is the term I've used. But it now seems best I lie and tell the unenlightened that " Oh yes, I just found a place, thank goodness"

I am considering living in Tijuana but so far am avoiding it

edit
best bet for when colder weather hits as I sleep on an REI pad designed for camping?
REI sells Very warm jackets for mountain climbing
Woolen blankets
Down blankets
Fleece?
It can drop to 30 degrees here. SUV seems decently insulated so far.
Thanks

 

[Sameer]

Good Grief! You are not homeless if you have a rolling home of any size...please don't identify yourself as such. Not good for your perception of yourself....better is 'creative and innovative way to live'. Any BLM land will provide you with a good place to live. No BLM land near you?

 

[GrantRobertson]

Good Grief! You are not homeless if you have a rolling home of any size...please don't identify yourself as such. Not good for your perception of yourself....better is 'creative and innovative way to live'. Any BLM land will provide you with a good place to live. No BLM land near you?

Technically, I am homeless. I live in a room in my son's house. Because I am not on the lease and it is not where I would be if I had more money, I am legally considered homeless.

I do not believe in hiding from stigmas. Gays have marriage equality now primarily because they decided to stop hiding decades ago. When I went to the psych ward for depression and anxiety, I told everyone. I do not hide the fact that I believe polyamory is actually the best way to maintain healthy relationships (not that I've ever been able to avail myself of that option) or that I have been leaning ever so slightly toward bisexuality these last few years.

Far more people are outside of the perceived norms than most people realize. But they hide in the shadows, only expressing their "individuality" in standardized, socially acceptable ways. Only when everyone stands up and proudly says, "I am X," whatever the heck X may be, will we all realize that we all are not so different after all and that we shouldn't let society tell us to feel bad about who we at or what circumstances we find ourselves.

 

[GotSmart]

Once we drop the labels, we end up not having problems with them   

I for one reject labels.

 

[Sameer]

If you are living in a room in your sons house...you are not homeless...if you are living behind the dumpster in the alley at 5th and Main Street, Downtown LA....YOU ARE HOMELESS!...I don't really care about legal definitions or political correctness.
Label yourself any way you want..!
Politically Correct labels are the dominant cultures way of manipulating the whole of Society. A Society that I have dropped out of a long time ago. Peace and Happiness to you...

 

[vanvanvanvan123]

Pride is not really the reason. I was in an insane situation, and commonsense said "get out, now"!

 

[BradKW]

Hey vanvan, sorry to see you're going through such a difficult time.

In my experiences, the hard times when it feels like life is spinning out of control and all I can do is react, these are the times when honesty and humility would have served me far better than my mad scramble to try to make things work like I thought they should. The problem often was that the more I tried to control everything and pretend like things were ok, I was really just making matters more difficult and shutting myself off from people that would or could help.

Realize that someone your age having to sleep in their car is not a criminal act. Nor is it a shameful one. Stop worrying about the police, there's just no "worst case scenario" there. Try to relax enough to get some real rest. If a cop did happen to knock, simply say "I'm sorry officer, I have nowhere to go and don't know what to do...can you help me with any suggestions?"  I know that if I can't relax and get sleep, I'm far more prone to staying stuck inside my own head, and that's proven out to be not such a good place at times. I tend to dwell on my fears, and it becomes a self-feeding cycle that never offers me a way out.

Try to find some people who you can spend time with and be honest with. Senior Centers would be a good place to start, as they will be a gateway to available services and assistance. There are many types of faith based groups too, and connecting with one that fits your outlook would be a great move. Even just practicing prayer to a higher power of your understanding could help bring some clarity that always helps us make better decisions.

Whatever role Pride played in getting where you are, it can play a much bigger role in keeping you from getting it turned around. When I do my best to be open, honest, humble, and work on acting from a place of faith instead of fear, things always start to get a little better, one step at a time. I'm looking forward to good things happening for you 

 

[vanvanvanvan123]

Such kindness here, thank you all.
A concern: I do not want the State of CA or fed govt to perceive me as weak, or feeble etc. Reason: they have control over my drivers license. i intentionally do not want to play the "Sorry officer, I have nowhere to go, option, for fear of the unknown potential for this position to backfire. Driving is absolutely vital to my profession.
I imagine the answer to this question is nested somewhere else on this vitally important forum, but may I ask here?
Is it giving power to police to admit helplessness? ( I do not want to get into whether or not I am literally helpless - I am using "helpless" in a general way )
So far an officer has not bothered me as I sleep. Being of a conservative, survival mentality- i want a foolproof response to police. I absolutely do not want to open up any vulnerability to a worker for the Govt, who though not likely, could give me problems on my public record ( DMV in particular ) 
For instance, I get sleepy, I decide to pull over. officer asks what's up" I say I am sleepy. This could end up on my DMV record. If this repeats itself. I could be viewed as not a good driver. 
So what would be the safest most conservative response to the officer?
of course, the object is to not expose self to officer questions in the first place- which is why I totally avoid the more expensive parts of San Diego County e.g. the North County beach areas, are verboten to me.
Walmart seems like a foolproof environ. I am interested in fool proof habits for habitation in SUV! Maybe there are none, but I am asking!

 

[GotSmart]

Such kindness here, thank you all.
A concern: I do not want the State of CA or fed govt to perceive me as weak, or feeble etc. Reason: they have control over my drivers license. i intentionally do not want to play the "Sorry officer, I have nowhere to go, option, for fear of the unknown potential for this position to backfire. Driving is absolutely vital to my profession.
I imagine the answer to this question is nested somewhere else on this vitally important forum, but may I ask here?
Is it giving power to police to admit helplessness? ( I do not want to get into whether or not I am literally helpless - I am using "helpless" in a general way )
So far an officer has not bothered me as I sleep. Being of a conservative, survival mentality- i want a foolproof response to police. I absolutely do not want to open up any vulnerability to a worker for the Govt, who though not likely, could give me problems on my public record ( DMV in particular ) 
For instance, I get sleepy, I decide to pull over. officer asks what's up" I say I am sleepy. This could end up on my DMV record. If this repeats itself. I could be viewed as not a good driver. 
So what would be the safest most conservative response to the officer?
of course, the object is to not expose self to officer questions in the first place- which is why I totally avoid the more expensive parts of San Diego County e.g. the North County beach areas, are verboten to me.
Walmart seems like a foolproof environ. I am interested in fool proof habits for habitation in SUV! Maybe there are none, but I am asking!

LEO has a lot of better things to do than to write up a person who is sleepy, and not driving.  Such as cleaning up the wreck caused by someone who fell asleep at the wheel.  

No points go on your record for sleeping in your car.  Your CDL or DL is not dinged at all. 

The worse that could happen is LEO recognizes you as a fixture, and not a threat. 

I tell them that I was tired, and did not want to cause a wreck. I have NEVER been told to move on immediately.  Several times I was told of safe places to stop in the future.

 

[Iggy]

I've lived at Ocean Beach in San Diego for months at a time. The police don't bother you there. The hardest part is finding a spot to park. Be sure to note when street sweeping days and times are. It's a $40 fine and they WILL catch you.
I've also heard (but not seen) that a lot of folks sleep in their vehicles behind the Padres stadium. I'm going to check that out next month when I'm back in the area. Good luck to you!

 

[vanvanvanvan123]

What do you folks think about parking in Walmart lot? It feels safe as far as police disturbances. I don't know about riffraff though?!

 

[B and C]

What do you folks think about parking in Walmart lot? It feels safe as far as police disturbances. I don't know about riffraff though?!

I have parked in a lot of WM parking lots overnight.  I always ask first and I don't park in a "bad" part of town.  If it looks iffy, move on.

 

[Almost There]

What do you folks think about parking in Walmart lot? It feels safe as far as police disturbances. I don't know about riffraff though?!

That depends entirely on which W/M parking lot. If the neighborhood looks sketchy in general then it's likely not going to be a good place.  

When I'm travelling hard and just need a place for an overnighter I aim for a W/M. BUT I also aim for the ones in suburbia or the ones at the furthest distance from center core in a large city like the ones that are on the 'other' side of the interstate from town.

I also use Sam's Club parking lots when possible because those are even quieter than W/M.

The only times I've been disturbed in a W/M or Sam's Club p/l was once when the street sweepers where doing the parking lot at 3 AM - 3 of us overnighters all got up and moved from Sam's Club to W/M next door because of the noise. The other time, there were a couple of yahoos doing donuts in the empty parking lot that caused me some concern. They lasted about 15 minutes before they found better things to do someplace else. But like I said, I deliberately seek out the more rural W/M's.

If you pull in and see other RVrs' already there, then by all means tuck yourself in amongst them. Be aware that you might have to deal with generators so check out the RVs and place yourself on the opposite side of the generator door.

 

[goodkid43]

Hello Van...123,
     You stated earlier in this thread that the storage unit is centrally located.  My ex-wife's brother was homeless for a short time and lived in his storage unit.  This type of living is more common than many realize according to the brother.  i would argue that is why the company charged you for 24-7 access.  This option would alleviate your concerns of police, reduce fuel consumption due to the centrality of the location) and reduce the overall anxiety that you seem to be experiencing.

God Bless, Michael

P.S. Great site Bob.  Been visiting your site for about six months and it has made my top ten!!!  Will introduce myself in the near future.