New and dreaming

[Psalm139]

I don’t know if this dream of mine will ever happen but here I am learning and dreaming and hoping it will. Someday. Just so tired of the world as it is. For now I go camping. So jealous and in awe of all of you that do this!

 

[bullfrog !]

Welcome! Life can be better you just have to work at it! Lol!!!

 

[maki2]

I don’t know if this dream of mine will ever happen but here I am learning and dreaming and hoping it will. Someday. Just so tired of the world as it is. For now I go camping. So jealous and in awe of all of you that do this!

If you really want it then you will make it happen. Just keep working at achieving your goal step by step.

Welcome

 

[VanFan]

Welcome! Camping=Good Stuff. Enjoy!

 

[rruff]

Just so tired of the world as it is. For now I go camping.

The "world as it is" ain't the massive mess of "thoughts" bouncing around in people's heads. The best thing about getting away from the cacophony of noise, is being able to be alone with your own mind.... and if you learn how to be very still and very quiet, you can learn what the real world is...

 

[Psalm139]

The "world as it is" ain't the massive mess of "thoughts" bouncing around in people's heads. The best thing about getting away from the cacophony of noise, is being able to be alone with your own mind.... and if you learn how to be very still and very quiet, you can learn what the real world is...

Quiet is probably what I’ve been looking for. With my mental health though it’s pretty hard.

 

[Morgana]

I don’t know if this dream of mine will ever happen but here I am learning and dreaming and hoping it will. ... For now I go camping.

Travis McGee, the hero of the John D MacDonald mysteries (The Deep Blue Goodbye, One Fearful Yellow Eye), always said he was taking his retirement in installments. Maybe your camping trips are like Travis McGee's retirement. May the camping trips get longer and the times in between get shorter! Meanwhile, sounds like you're off to a good start and doing what you can.

 

[Psalm139]

Travis McGee, the hero of the John D MacDonald mysteries (The Deep Blue Goodbye, One Fearful Yellow Eye), always said he was taking his retirement in installments. Maybe your camping trips are like Travis McGee's retirement. May the camping trips get longer and the times in between get shorter! Meanwhile, sounds like you're off to a good start and doing what you can.

Thank you. That’s a good way to look at it. I’m not retirement age anyway at 41.

 

[bullfrog !]

^^^ Retirement Age is what you make it! Plan well!

 

[rruff]

Quiet is probably what I’ve been looking for. With my mental health though it’s pretty hard.

Don't believe your mind. Seriously.

 

[Psalm139]

Don't believe your mind. Seriously.

Yeah I’m 41 and I think my dad was 45 when he killed himself (I was 7) - trying to avoid that for myself and especially my kids.

 

[Psalm139]

^^^ Retirement Age is what you make it! Plan well!

True! Though I still have kids at home for quite a while. Some would be up for full time, not the oldest or my husband though :/

 

[ChileVan]

Hello and welcome! We're very glad to have you here with us, and I, for one, hope that you can make your dream a reality sooner rather than later.

 

[Psalm139]

Hello and welcome! We're very glad to have you here with us, and I, for one, hope that you can make your dream a reality sooner rather than later.

Thank you

 

[rruff]

Thank you. That’s a good way to look at it. I’m not retirement age anyway at 41.

My first retirement was at 30... didn't work for 11 years... and since then just as much as I needed. It is possible to work a season as a waiter at a park or resort, and save enough to not work for a few years. At the very least you could work any job for the season (6-7 months) and camp in winter.

I was very happy to let my living standard drop to nothing, though... so don't go by me. You have a family, so there is much more to consider!

Yeah I’m 41 and I think my dad was 45 when he killed himself (I was 7) - trying to avoid that for myself and especially my kids.

There is a sort of "suicide" that makes life much easier, from my experience. Not the physical kind. If there are people who depend on you, it can be much harder... but probably also more fulfilling...

 

[Psalm139]

My first retirement was at 30... didn't work for 11 years... and since then just as much as I needed. It is possible to work a season as a waiter at a park or resort, and save enough to not work for a few years. At the very least you could work any job for the season (6-7 months) and camp in winter.

I was very happy to let my living standard drop to nothing, though... so don't go by me. You have a family, so there is much more to consider!


There is a sort of "suicide" that makes life much easier, from my experience. Not the physical kind. If there are people who depend on you, it can be much harder... but probably also more fulfilling...

What do you mean? The last part.

 

[rruff]

What do you mean? The last part.

Ego death... the end of mind-identification. I have no idea what your current mental/emotional/spiritual challenges are... but I'd guess that if you (or anyone) do have suicidal urges at times, it's likely because your ego/mind/self-identity is intolerable.

"The Truth will set you free". Surrender resistance to Reality... that's kinda like a big exhale and relaxation, and letting all the thoughts and anxiety go. Even for a second... and then pay attention. Don't believe your mind... it isn't *you* and it's definitely not wise.

It might be harder with dependents because you have a role to play with them; an identity that keeps grabbing your attention. The people around us also tend to resist any change in us, even if it's a positive one... it's threatening. Young kids may be more supportive. I don't have kids, but I realized it was best for me to not have a wife or girlfriend or any friend who depended on me, so I could really be alone. But... that's just me. Plenty of people can go through this while still having a family and normal life.

And it would be more fulfilling, because... basically everything is... more intimate and real.

 

[tx2sturgis]

I would say, enjoy your life as it is now....have fun, be productive, enjoy the youth you still have.

Given a choice today (worm hole, magic genie, flux capacitor or something) I would absolutely return to my healthy and active 40's and working, rather than being 'elderly and retired' as the government refers to me now. Not that I wasted my youth...well maybe just a little bit.

Grass is greener...you know....somewhere.....I forget...I'm old.

 

[Psalm139]

Ego death... the end of mind-identification. I have no idea what your current mental/emotional/spiritual challenges are... but I'd guess that if you (or anyone) do have suicidal urges at times, it's likely because your ego/mind/self-identity is intolerable.

"The Truth will set you free". Surrender resistance to Reality... that's kinda like a big exhale and relaxation, and letting all the thoughts and anxiety go. Even for a second... and then pay attention. Don't believe your mind... it isn't *you* and it's definitely not wise.

It might be harder with dependents because you have a role to play with them; an identity that keeps grabbing your attention. The people around us also tend to resist any change in us, even if it's a positive one... it's threatening. Young kids may be more supportive. I don't have kids, but I realized it was best for me to not have a wife or girlfriend or any friend who depended on me, so I could really be alone. But... that's just me. Plenty of people can go through this while still having a family and normal life.

And it would be more fulfilling, because... basically everything is... more intimate and real.

Thanks for explaining that. I don’t know how I could accomplish it though - short of medication to numb my brain. But my husband doesn’t want me to take anything anymore. I get what you are saying that it would be easier to do alone. I think the only problem would be I would eventually lose my will to live. When I think of dying I think mostly of what it would do to my kids. Without them it wouldn’t matter. I don’t really know who I am, just what I am, what I do, but not who.

 

[Psalm139]

I would say, enjoy your life as it is now....have fun, be productive, enjoy the youth you still have.

Given a choice today (worm hole, magic genie, flux capacitor or something) I would absolutely return to my healthy and active 40's and working, rather than being 'elderly and retired' as the government refers to me now. Not that I wasted my youth...well maybe just a little bit.

Grass is greener...you know....somewhere.....I forget...I'm old.

True. I am trying to be content in my life now. There are definitely things that are easier but I still feel trapped. Idk. I think the advice to camp more and more is good. I don’t work unless you count homeschooling and taking care of 5 kids lol. Usually I feel like this more in the winter.