My Biggest Fear: Stuck and Settling Down

user 423 · Mar 4, 2013

More appropriate to this forum: Get the Dodge out of hell.

twokniveskatie · Mar 7, 2013

IanT720- I hear ya. There can be alot of questions and fears and uncertainty. You are no different than many of us. I had to overcome a great deal of fear and uncertainty to get into this lifestyle. Notice that I didnt say "get over my fears"....i still live with them. I will have my anxiety disorder til the day i die, most likely, and i will never "get over" a violent crime that "kept me stuck" for many years. Only they dont stop me anymore. And ya know what? I have a great deal of respect for someone who has had fears and overcome them. I'd want them in my camp anyday over someone who is fearless. I know now the tough stuff I am made of, and am really proud of it.

Keep working at it, seeking your dream. It will sort itself out. Talk to folks who know what its like to have fears and can understand that sometimes its a process, that not everyone just gets up and does it....

There is no one right way, but 10,000 ways. I've got your back for whatever path you choose, and however long it takes.

TheSun · Mar 14, 2013

Hi Ian, hi Katie, hi everyone.  I finally decided to take the plunge and join the CheapRVLiving forum and am glad I did.  I've been somewhat settled in a couple of Southwestern towns for about a year-and-a-half now, and am looking to hit the road again soon.  I got myself that "cheap" apartment that you mentioned, Ian.  It isn't any cheaper than living in my small RV.  In fact, it's more expensive, and I'm getting ready to let it go and get back into my Class C.  I may also purchase a really old travel trailer and park it somewhere cheap so I have somewhere "to come home to."  It would definitely cost me less than an apartment that I'm not staying in much of the time.  These decisions are never easy.  I've learned that they aren't easy for anybody.  Whenever I'm around people who live any sort of transient lifestyle, I ask them how it works for them.  I keep expecting somebody to have the perfect solution to how to make it all work--how to have the money to travel, how to have the security of somewhere to go home to, etc.  Nobody has it all figured out!  There are always trade-offs.  The main thing to do is whatever is comfortable for you right now.  Stay in the moment while pondering your dreams.  Take small steps towards those dreams.  If something comes your way that seems absolutely right to you, then don't limit yourself to small steps--take a giant leap. I wish I had done what you are doing, Ian, when I was younger!  Thinking about what I really wanted instead of just responding to family and societal expectations.  I did not get into this mobile lifestyle until I was in my 50s, and I wasted far too much of my life doing things other than what I really wanted to be doing.  Good luck, and like Katie said, we have your back. Sue Soaring Sun http://eBayRV.blogspot.com/

twokniveskatie · Mar 23, 2013

Sue, I am so glad to see you here! I know you have been on the move (I think we almost crossed paths!) But hope you will pop in here again and share with us. Bless your encouraging heart, you have given me confidence more times than you know...

TheSun · Mar 23, 2013

Thank you, Katie.  I'm very glad to be here and am finding lots of good information and support as I make decisions about what is next for me.  Now I am thinking that, rather than keep traveling in the Guppy and have a home base to return to, I'm probably going to get a bigger RV.  That way I will be fully at home wherever I go, and can take all of my life with me--my eBay business, my art work, etc.--as well as my traveling companion when he wants to go with me.   So the search for what is the right way to do this for me is beginning. 

Cubey · Mar 25, 2013

TheSun said:
The main thing to do is whatever is comfortable for you right now.  Stay in the moment while pondering your dreams.  Take small steps towards those dreams.  If something comes your way that seems absolutely right to you, then don't limit yourself to small steps--take a giant leap.

I have been preparing for over a year now myself. I got antsy and considered leaving in April but then I came to the realization that it's rushing things. I'm putting it off now until Sept so I can save up some money for any emergencies that may come up and complete what needs doing on my van and utility trailer. Also, it turns out I couldn't have left as quickly in April after all due to being in the middle of bankruptcy. The meeting of creditors is in early April. So it's good I didn't rush things. I have all spring and summer to tie up the lose ends here before I hit the road this fall.

WanderingRain · Apr 5, 2013

I was given the chance to settle down 3 times. EAch time, I broke it off. The girls were fine. But they were gonna hold me back.  You can view it as a sacrifice and be with them and not be as free.  But you will always wonder about the "what ifs" anyway.  You might as well follow your dreams. The right girl will show up if you were meant to have one. Getting just anybody is easy. Settling for mediocrity... that's what the majority do.  They get hitched to whoever is most convenient and easy. They don't take risks. They live safe and thus boring lives. I say nay to that.  But your aging parents are a concern, though. I am with my parents right now living with them. Does it affect my chances at getting a new girlfriend? Sure.  But I can always use my present condition as a filter.  Anyone who doesn't see that I am staying with the parents to help them out is a fool not worth spending a second on. And there's many fools in this world.  Life is too short to waste on them and on mediocrity. Pursue excellence and a good and colorful life. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle">