My 2 Sons Staged an Intervention Yesterday.....

[maki2]

By the way I can see why your sons think you are being influenced by a cult leader. Bob Wells does have the physical appearance of some of those leaders and that appearance is very off putting to many who prefer a clean cut appearance. He certainly does look like a hippie. He is also espousing the kinds of things that were going on during that era. He does have a way for donations to be made to him personally. Why not acknowledge that you can see where you sons are coming from and why they feel uneasy and scared for you? Their feelings also need validating by you so that they don't feel shut out of your life and decisions. Giving validation of their fears means you don't make Bob Wells and Cheap RV living the battle ground to fight on for your decision about a life style change.

Years ago I discovered a great self help book, it served me well when I had to negotiate things with my ex husband regarding raising our son. It also taught me lessons that helped at work and with neighbors and other family members. You can likely get it at many libraries and most certainly online from Amazon too. He also has some other books with negotiation advice.
"You Can Negotiate Anything" by Herb Cohen

 

[Headache]

Once peoples minds are made up it's hard to convince them otherwise. It's wasted energy. All you can really do is continue on with your plans while updating them on your progress but let them know that should discussion become filled with animosity you will keep your progress to yourself.

As someone else posted if you can start taking small trips and progress to longer and farther ones as you go that would be a good way to "get trained" in this and avoid some of the pitfalls. I was all in when I came out here and very quickly learned how ill prepared I was.

While it's obvious your sons care and probably have some good points it's still your life to live as you deem. Hug em, kiss em then wave from your rear view!

 

[Queen]

Good lord. We’re the same age but I have no kids, I can’t even wrap my head around someone thinking they had some say so about what I do.

 

[Jacklelop]

You guy's are wonderful!! So many great suggestions. I'm so glad I brought this to this forum..Thank You...It's so hard to explain to someone you love or any one really that...after a life of hard work, you want to do what you want to do, its not that I don't appreciate them. I want to see a desert sunrise..smell a cactus..touch a mountain and sing out loud Rockey Mountain High.. Bird watch ..see the Grand Canyon ...Stand on a corner in Winslow Arizona if I feel like it ....Go get my kicks on Route 66. I raised two wonderful boy's one is an Anesthesiologist and the other is a Petroleum Engineer I worked 3 jobs to put them through school. I've never asked them for a penny I just did what a Mother does. They think they have to repay me somehow by saying Come live me Mom let me help you. I love them and thank them but that's not what I want or need...the day may come when I do but right now I need to Breathe ya know...I need to take the last 10 or 15 good years I have left and do what I want to. My son looked at me last night and said "Mom you still live like we lived 20 years ago...you don't have to save and scrimp anymore. It's not about that!!!!

 

[lenny flank]

Bob Wells reminds me more of the Pied Piper than Charles Manson. 

Okay, I LOL'd at that, too.  
Tee hee hee.

 

[skyl4rk]

Start wearing tie dyed shirts and patchoulie oil. Sing along: "This is the dawning of the age of aquarius..."

 

[Headache]

Tell them if they want to help you then respect your decision. They don't have to like it as they are entitled to their opinion, but respect you.

And it couldn't hurt if they backed you up financially if you had a breakdown!

 

[lenny flank]

Start wearing tie dyed shirts and patchoulie oil.  Sing along: "This is the dawning of the age of aquarius..."

When people ask me, Did you used to be a hippie?", I answer, "Noooooo--I still am."

 

[maki2]

If your sons feel they "have to" make your life comfortable by living with them it is only because they want to do so in appreciation of all that you have done for them. You did raise them to be "responsible" and part of being responsible is looking after your loved ones.

Remember when you are feeling frustrated that you, yourself, are the one that nurtured that sense of appreciation and responsibility to family. If you think about it you don't want them to stop being that way, you just want them to turn it down a notch so you can have some fun. Just the way they wanted you to turn it down a notch when they got into their teens and 20s. Remind them of what that felt like, it is a gentle way to get to where you want your relationship level to be at.

 

[Jacklelop]

I've been wearing patchouli oil for 25 years and they grew up listening to White Rabbit and My all time favs  Janis Joplin and Jimmy Hendrix...if I go to a Muddy field in Woostock NY they would really go over the edge!!!!!!

 

[lenny flank]

Q. What do you call a hippie's wife?

A. Mississippi.


Hah! I slay me!

 

[Firtree]

Bob Wells was on CBS Sunday Morning this week and it wasn't a public service announcement to be afraid of this guy. You can find the video on CBS All Access, YouTube

-Sounds like both of your boys are safety, rule following oriented and that's good, especially in their fields. (They'll have their own Mid-Life's someday). They can do lots of practical things for you and this venture.
As mentioned they can help find
the best Van, best tires
Best road plans (AAA Premier for one)
Best Cellular plans plus (smartphone, hotspot device, tablet/laptop)
Safety stuff (SPOT device)
Aux power devices

Let them help you make a list and then they can start buying and sign up for paying the monthly fees and subscriptions.
After all your birthday, Mother's day, Christmas are all coming

Get them involved in the process and buying into this change

This is a great fun thread

 

[Ticklebellly]

.......,  then point out something embarrassing they did as a son. 

A comment likely to lead to conflict and distraction from the main discussion.

 

[Ticklebellly]

Yeah, been in similar situation.   And also run assertion workshops at a community centre.   If you are in the situation where you feel like you are talking to a rock, "Thank you for your concern.   I have listened and believe I understand what you are trying to do.   I am a big person and have decided to do this.   Do you want to help?"

 

[cyndi]

Didn't read everyone's answers so maybe this has been said, already.

I know a woman (many of you also know her) whose daughters were adamant that living this life was crazy. she brought them to the RTR. The daughters began to understand about the community we have built, the network of help and support that's available and the many benefits a mobile life has to offer.

That woman is still living on the road with her daughters' support.

There are other similar cases.

Talk your son's into coming to the RTR. There's nothing left to argue, after that

 

[WanderingRose]

They having no idea, really, may at root be concerned for your safety and well-being.

 

[Rajendora1]

Don't forget the bumper sticker that says "I'm spending my kids inheritance" once you are free and clear. ~_^V

 

[Ken in Anaheim]

Just tell them you're either going to hit the road or MOVE IN WITH THEM !! That should do it.

 

[fluti314]

61 years old here, no kids, not living the life, but have family members who freak out about all kinds of things, so I understand a little of that part of your situation.

It's your life, not your sons', so you are the one who gets to decide. HOWEVER, family being what they are, I imagined be you want them to at least be understanding and reassured that Bob will not come after you with an axe ?

One thing that has helped me in similar situations is to have a companion to go with. There's safety in numbers, and if you can take a trip or two, just to start, with a buddy, would your son's feel better about it?

Best of luck!

 

[PODebbie]

A lot of good advice has been given. I would never tell my grown children what to do. One daughter is an engineer and the other daughter teaches online and has lived in Indonesia for over 5 years. By the same token, they would never suggest how I should live my life.

I am a very active person, riding bicycles across states, and wanting to backpack the Appalachian Trail. Both of my kids have traveled to over 50 countries. We kinda plant seeds, like I'm thinking of going to " ". Then we do it. When I have been on biking and hiking websites, I often see posts from young woman who have trouble with their family letting them go. The advice was to take small trips and show their parents they could take care of themselves. There are apps where your family knows where you are. You can use google maps and send your location to your kids. I think when you prove to your kids, you can do it, they will be happy with your decision. Then you will be happy. Since your kids have money, don't sell your house. Just go on extended trips. Many people that do not need to live in a van for financial reasons, only go out for a couple of years. There are a lot of people who spend most of their retirement years traveling.

I am trying to get my husband to quit his job and go with me. It is hard. We don't need the money he is earning as a school bus driver. We both have pensions. I am taking baby steps with him. Before we had grand kids, the longest I got him out on the road was 6 months. Then he didn't leave for several years. I have always traveled; with the family, with just the kids, and a lot by myself.

We are going to Indonesia in about 6 months. My husband will probably go for 30 days, then I will travel with my daughter for about a year. I want to see the world. I want to spend the money I saved while I worked for 30 years and put both of them thru school.

Enjoy your life. From a 61 year old retired government worker with 38 and 39 year old daughters.