Funny prompt! - Come up with a fake company name/decal that makes people not want what is inside the van

[gsnz]

So this is mostly a for-fun idea I had. I was thinking about ways to be more stealthy and deter people from even being interested in the van in the first place. I was trying to think of what professions/trades would appear to deal with the least value in terms of tools/things that would be stored in a cargo van. Also, things that could be seen as not only not valuable, but toxic or harmful. That way, I could get a template/and spray paint a decal for a fake company on the sides of my van that make it look less valuable/under the radar. Here are some

• "Ed's biohazard cleaning services"
• "Rusty's piano junking"
• "Dirt movers LLC"
• "Rabid wildlife relocation"
• "Jeb's stink remediation"
• "Oily metal recycling"
• "Wood stain and old paint recycling"
• "Topsoil decontamination inc"

Let me know if you have some good/funny ones.

 

[gsnz]

Also! Accompanying slogans could be hilarious too!
"We clean the things you wont"

 

[jacqueg]

I like the idea, but -

Many states have strict rules about what must be included in a business sign on a vehicle. Often include a business tax number or similar business ID. So be careful if you do this.

 

[gsnz]

I like the idea, but -

Many states have strict rules about what must be included in a business sign on a vehicle. Often include a business tax number or similar business ID. So be careful if you do this.

Oh thanks for the awareness! I had no idea

 

[Gr8ful]

"Crime Scene Cleaners"
or
"Road Kill Removal"

 

[Morgana]

Mobile taxidermy lab

Organic pet embalming service

Hantavirus gain-of-function research support vehicle

 

[maki2]

“Diaper Laundry Service”

I do not know anyone who would want to have anything to do with wanting going inside of such a van.

 

[maki2]

Of course some slogans work in cities but would look completely out of place in a dispersed camping area where everyone immediately realizes it is meant to disguise the fact that there are valuables inside.

 

[rruff]

“Diaper Laundry Service”

My favorite so far... since it's actually a thing...

Manny's Mobile Manure Salvage.
Harry's Hornet Relocation Service.
Rory's Rattlesnake Rescue.

 

[Malamute]

https://www.google.com/search?q=Rot...BBgBIEGIBgGQBgW6BgQIARgK&sclient=gws-wiz-serp

 

[Zerpersande]

My favorite so far... since it's actually a thing...

Crime Scene Cleaning is also a real thing.

 

[rruff]

Crime Scene Cleaning is also a real thing.

Indeed...

 

[maki2]

Lots of things are real things. But dirty diapers are a very common yuck factor many people have had a direct relationship with

But thieves who target vans as an income source usually end up very quickly stripping out components that are a very quick turnaround sale for cash. They do not want to deal with stolen VIN numbered van bodies or VIN stamped engines to pedal.

 

[Happy Camper]

"COVID Transport and Cleanup"

 

[Sage]

Wild Bee Capture & Re-homing

 

[Morgana]

Wild Bee Capture & Re-homing

Oh yeah, you don't wanna open THAT door!

 

[Gr8ful]

"Cremation Pick-up & Delivery Service" "Infectious Disease Transport"
Ebay has custom magnetic signs you can put on when going to town & off when at camp.

 

[Happy Camper]

Texas Chainsaw Sharpening and Cleaning

"we also make masks"

 

[LargeMarge]

I like the idea, but -

Many states have strict rules about what must be included in a business sign on a vehicle. Often include a business tax number or similar business ID. So be careful if you do this.

.
Thanks for the 'heads-up'!
.
I am always one to follow the rules.
I am especially observant of strict rules.
.
Fact is, the stricter the rules, the happier I am.
And double thanks for the reminder to 'be careful'... without a reminder, I would probably forgetfully be uncareful...
.

“Diaper Laundry Service”

I do not know anyone who would want to have anything to do with wanting going inside of such a van.

.
I personally know people with a recreational interest in the contents.
I know, I know... I run with a weird crowd.
I hear that all the time...
.
.
"LADIES FOUNDATIONALS AND NOTIONS
*** Licensed, Insured, Bonded ***
*** Certified Compliant and Clinically Tested ***
*** Satisfaction Warranteed Since 1952 ***
*** references upon request ***"
.
That 'references' part leads the straights to believe references exist and can be made available in a timely fashion.
Sure.
I guess I left them in my other pants.
Give me your number, I'll get right back to you.
.
Oh, wait, I found them... here is just a tiny sampling:
* The best notions in six states -- Very Satisfied Customer
* My, such a selection -- Very Satisfied Buyer
* If only every mobile foundationals was this honest -- Very Trustable Reviewer.
.
So, you see, it can be done.

 

[LoupGarou]

I think this one is already spoken for.
"Rothschild's Sewer and Septic Sucking Services". There's no tank too big or too small, we suck them all.