Funny prompt! - Come up with a fake company name/decal that makes people not want what is inside the van

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I never had anyone get too close for long when I had my pups in the vehicle. They watched for me and if anyone came close theyd jump up to the window to see who it was, greatly startling several people that I saw, and no doubt others I didnt. They werent acting aggressive, just very curious, and somewhat large. The windows were usually open enough for air but not enough for an arm to reach in to unlock the door.

We had some one get into the door of our van and I sure wish I had a camera see their face when they saw our big dog who sat in the driver's seat of our van when we are out. He doesn't really bark much and mostly just is quiet and still but when he is surprised and or shifts to on duty mode, he is a 120+ pounds of full-on business. They didn't even turn off the light they turned on... which is how we know someone was in the van. He got a good dinner that night.
Maybe that would be a good sign dog trainer....
^^^”Sail Puppy Pickup” as my friend on the highway department litter crew just to describe his job! Lol!!!
Mobile pet waste composting.
"We take care of crap so you don't have to"

I actually have a friend that has a pet poop service. I saw the magnetic sign on his car and thought it was a joke. But nope, it's a strong business. He goes to their house and clears the yard of dog poop. His tag line is "you poop it we scoop it"
So this is mostly a for-fun idea I had. I was thinking about ways to be more stealthy and deter people from even being interested in the van in the first place. I was trying to think of what professions/trades would appear to deal with the least value in terms of tools/things that would be stored in a cargo van. Also, things that could be seen as not only not valuable, but toxic or harmful. That way, I could get a template/and spray paint a decal for a fake company on the sides of my van that make it look less valuable/under the radar. Here are some

  • "Ed's biohazard cleaning services"
  • "Rusty's piano junking"
  • "Dirt movers LLC"
  • "Rabid wildlife relocation"
  • "Jeb's stink remediation"
  • "Oily metal recycling"
  • "Wood stain and old paint recycling"
  • "Topsoil decontamination inc"

Let me know if you have some good/funny ones.
Shittee smittys septic sewer services
"You smellt it, we dealt with it!"