Fear - how do you handle?

[RookyPegasus]

Hi all! I’m fairly new to this, and I can’t get past the fear of camping by myself (though I still go). I bring my pup, I’m in a Honda Element where I can jump to the drivers seat in a second, I bring my big dog, I have various safety tools and defensive weapons.

I’m just looking for some advice on how you all got past it? Is it just through practice? Do you have any specific techniques? Or do you just live with it?

Thanks!!

 

[Ripper238]

First step is to still go and work through the fear, know what that fear is and compensate.

Being prepared helps a lot because you will likely find that there was no need to worry in the end, yet you were prepared.

It takes time to get comfortable and confident. This only happens with experience.

I am generally not a fearful person. But i have concerns so I prepare.

Lets say I worry about something medical happening to me. Well i made a ridiculously well stocked paramedic bag:

Or I worry about security sleeping alone. I may add motion lights, have a large knife, Bear spray, GPS phone, car alarm where i lock my self in... And you have the ultimate, a dog!

Fear, like anything else subsides with time and experience. Probably the safest place to be is the wilderness.

Was there a particular fear?

Welcome to the Forum!

 

[RookyPegasus]

Very helpful! Thank you! Mostly I’m worried a person will attack. I think this comes from my mom that is convinced the second I go out someone will attack me. Every time.

 

[frater secessus]

I’m worried a person will attack

It is human nature to overestimate danger; those who underestimated danger got eaten by predators or killed by misadventure (prehistoric Darwin Award). We are also social animals and have a general instinct that being enfolded by The Tribe reduces individual risk. So camping alone can leave us feeling exposed, whether or not we actually are. The trick for us modern humans as far as I can tell is aligning our sense of danger with actual risk.

In this case we might observe the following: people who want to attack you is a subset of people around you. So if there are X people nearby there can only be ≤X attackers. And according to the pic in the first post I don't see many people around you. Violent crime is closely correlated with population density. Vanfolk are much more likely to get attacked in towns than in the boonies.

Related:

• I am an anxious enough person that I have been medicated for it in the past - I am certainly not saying I am fearless and you are fearful
• if you are academically-inclined this video from Harvard MS might be interesting.
• availability heuristic

 

[WanderingRose]

I have been traveling for 22 years, the last eight as a widow with a dog.

I am always situationally aware, but have never once been accosted, attacked, nor felt in fear for my life.

That said, it has been my experience that most people mean others no harm.

Say hello, smile, be pleasant, and I believe that is what you will find.

 

[Ravella and X]

When I started camping way way out and alone, I set two chairs out, and left my X’s slippahs outside the door with mine. I don’t think anyone ever noticed, but at the time, it made me feel a tad bit safer. Now I just pay attention to my gut feelings. If a place feels right, I’m fine. If it feels wrong, I’m gone.

Maybe you should consider finding a small group to caravan with? At least until the fear calms enough to go out on your own and sleep easy. Practice does definitely help. Best to you!

 

[JDelete]

Rambling thoughts:
Fears—the mind can find all sorts of fears to dwell upon. Some are more prone to these mental gymnastics than others. I have a gold medal in mental gymnastics of irrational fears—also known as anxiety.

Anytime we are in a new situation, there is an opportunity for fear. Think about where you are at—I am guessing in an urban area of sorts, in a house or apartment, around people, you drive frequently, etc.
1. the house could catch on fire while you sleep and you die.
2. a drunk driver could cross the center line and you die.
3. a crazy could start shooting in the grocery store and you die.
4. you slip on a bar of soap in the shower and you die.
5. the list goes on and on.

The point is, none of those things have happened to you and you most likely are not in fear of those scenarios. Why? It didn't happen yesterday so it probably won't happen today.

Trust your instincts and park/camp in areas that feel good. I look for places that are away from people as much as possible. I get as far out in the boonies as I can get. Out there, I feel totally safe. I guess I might be a bit strange in that I like being alone and away from people. The only "fear" I have out in the boonies is wood ticks. I hate those little buggers.

 

[Tony's Dream]

As a soldier, I learned that fear is natural and very common. I worried more when my soliders were not afraid. Brave people are those who recognize fear and learn to overcome it. When I was a kid I was terrified of thunderstorms, so I became a storm chaser. My training helped me understand how thunderstorms work, what makes them danagerous, and when to avoid them. When I travel I check out the site where I will be staying, I will drive throughout the area and look for things that don't look right. A person sitting in vehicle and watching people come and go for example. I prefer to stay in an area where there are other people, keeping my distance but being aware of them. If I am in a site all alone, I heighten my sense of awareness....listening to unnatural things. As I move around I watch what others are doing. Do they fit in? Are they setting up for the night or are they just sitting there. Finally, I make a plan to handle the unexpected. I always park my van so I am facing my escape route. I keep my defensive weapons in places I can get to quickly and quietly. I secure my vehicle for the night and avoid leaving it during the night if I can.

 

[PeterPiper]

Spent a week at a deserted old house back off the road alone.
No electricity. Broken windows, garbage everywhere.
Over growth taking over....inside looked like hell.....

Something like this.......but twice as big with a huge dark musty underground basement

When I first pulled up in there I was like No WAY ! NONE!.
But I did it.
I was literally tense and every sound I heard was "something" creeping towards me.
A week later I got used to it...nothing bothered me.....actually relaxed and got comfortable.
Cleaned the place up a bit. Did a bit of structural, roof and electrical work then left.

Sometimes it just takes some acclimation.

Having the "means" to defend yourself and a bit of preparation like motion detectors and battery flood lights works wonders.

Out there where you a are parked the biggest fear is probably the darkness and no one else around (hopefully).
I think you'll get used to it. Put some motion flood lights on poles about 10 feet from the van at each corner so if something does move you can see.
Don't be surprised if animals wonder around. I've had it happen.

 

[aytee]

My first trip 30 years ago took 12 months to plan everything. Finally everything was ready and packed and I was leaving first thing the next morning. That night I woke up at 3am sick as a dog, hardly able to function. Three days later I took a walk around the neighborhood and bumped into someone from work. "I thought you were leaving", he said. I told him I wasn't well and he told me, "Either go or don't go, stop messing around".

Well! In that moment I discovered one thing I had overlooked in all my planning - the fear. I immediately was better and left the next morning.

Since then I acknowledge it and am able to look at it dispassionately. I move around a lot and if I stay for a while somewhere then it comes back with a vengeance. That is what it is to be human, nothing one can do about it. Courage is the ability to act regardless.

My solution is not to allow anyone to add to it - GIVE UP TELEVISION!!! They control you through fear. And don't let anyone tell you horror stories that they "heard". I carry no weapons of any sort and leave if I feel fear, such as Yellowstone where they put the fear of God into you with all their bear warnings (I am in a tent). Stayed one night and won't go back. Once at a state park I found myself entirely alone, everyone else had left. I gave it until lunchtime and fortunately someone else arrived, otherwise I would have left.

Learn to decide for yourself, learn to trust your instincts.

 

[scaredycat72]

I'm the same way. I have PTSD and I'm ALWAYS scared. Always. I have less fear with other people around - I hate being alone with no help around - but I'm still always scared. What works for me is having faith in my ability to take care of myself, being prepared to defend myself, and doing the things I'm afraid of anyway. I have taken several self defense courses, I am an awesome shot, and I have self defense weapons close at hand. I ALWAYS, ALWAYS FOLLOW MY INSTINCTS AND FEELINGS. Even if they don't seem rational, I'm following my instincts and feelings about people and situations. Freak people's feelings. My safety is more important. The subconscious is aware of stuff way before the conscious mind can even form an idea. My motto is to act first and figure out the why later. Finally, I just have to do stuff even when I'm scared. If I waited for the fear to leave, I would never do anything. When I bought my house, it took 2 YEARS before I felt safe living alone. I have a security system and weapons that would rival Fort Knox and I was still scared. I needed time and lived experience to trust that I was safe closing my eyes at night. Somethings just take time.

People like to live in denial but really we're not 100% safe anywhere. My friend just had a stranger break into her house, grab a knife from her kitchen, and come into her bedroom. Thankfully her boyfriend was there and it ended ok but having a house didn't offer her the protection your mom assumes it does. But being alone in the boonies doesn't offer any protection either. One YouTuber was alone in the boonies, a man pulled up, later he started pounding on her car while she was in her car, and when she took off, the guy followed her and started ramming her car with his trying to force her off the road. She finally found a fire station and got some help.

All we can really do is be aware of the risks, mitigate them as much as possible, listen to our instincts and feelings, know how to defend ourselves to the best of our ability, and then go live our lives.

I use this affirmation when I'm scared of the unknown: I'm as safe as I can be, I'm strong and courageous, I'll handle the threat when there's actually a threat. Worrying does not make me safe.

 

[metaglypto]

Very helpful! Thank you! Mostly I’m worried a person will attack. I think this comes from my mom that is convinced the second I go out someone will attack me. Every time.

Generally speaking, I think you have more to fear from the human element than from wild animals. I think most of the fear comes from a person's sense of vulnerability, and the less vulnerable you make yourself, the more comfortable you will become while camping. While it is a bit foolish to over think the dangers (we all do it at times), it is just as foolish to totally ignore the potential dangers as well. A dog is a great first step. They can often sense things a human cannot. One time my dog growled and barked at someone coming close to my campsite. I was in no danger, they were just looking for a campsite, but my dog gave my advanced warning they were approaching. Motion detecting lights, bear spray, and a firearm are good to have on hand as well, and will also make you less vulnerable as long as you know how to use them, which brings up the second part of the equation - training. If you are not confident and knowledgeable about employing these tools, you will still feel vulnerable, so periodic practice is also a good thing. All that said, I have found that most of the "shady" types of people tend to stick closer to population centers and such, though I have had two close encounters with individuals I would consider somewhat shady while camping in the nether reaches of Oregon. One guy was carrying his own pistol, and doing his best to scare others with it. He actually got arrested and went to jail. Negative human encounters are rare, other than just ordinary disagreements, noise, and minor annoyances, but they do happen. Generally a large dog is warning enough to bad guys, and even a small dog will often sound a warning when it detects something out of the ordinary. Stay safe and enjoy yourself

 

[WayOutWest]

I've been hiking, backpacking, road tripping and camping alone for my whole life, and though I've had some fear at times, it has been minimal.
I have had a few "things happen to me" in life that have helped give me a sense of "what to look out for", and I'm also a highly intuitive person with a strong "gut sense" and the ability to trust it. I've had some brief run-ins or crossed paths with (a very few) nefarious or sketchy folks and this has helped me learn what it looks like when danger crosses your path.

All that said, I don't think there's been a single time when I've talked to my mother about my camping or road trips, when she hasn't said, "Aren't you scared to go alone? I'd be too scared to do that." Some people are totally out of their element doing nearly anything alone. It isn't just fear of baddies which has kept my mother from this: it's that she is very dependent and needs someone to tell her what to do and where to go. She is also very heavily a creature of routine and would feel ill at ease without her regular routine, that keeps her living in a rather small world. She doesn't have it in her to just get up and say "Hmmmm...I wonder what new place I could go to today?" But she is content in her small world.

Applying common sense, one can realize that bad folks who want to harass or mess with someone, are not likely to be out in the middle of nowhere, where they may not find anyone to mess with. There are some bad folks who do harass or stalk people out in the boonies, as others have referred to hearing stories about, but even so, I would expect that they would not just go out into areas where the chance of coming across someone was very small, unless they had other business out there.

If I'm out in the woods or wherever and someone approaches who makes me feel ill at ease, I would just leave. I'm not going to confront them or argue about who got here first and so it's my campsite. Generally, for those who are simply bullies or territorial, or you inadvertently camped in a spot where the local "buddies" group goes out every week and drinks beer and does target shooting all night, they are content if you just get up and leave. That makes them feel that they won, they bullied you out of "their" spot. That's one of the prime benefits of car-camping in all its forms, actually: that it's much easier for car campers to pull up and leave and find another spot, than for tent campers to do that.

I'd also add that I think you're much safer "out in the middle of nowhere" than you are camping in a rest stop, a Walmart, or other parking lot or public place.

 

[Ripper238]

Very helpful! Thank you! Mostly I’m worried a person will attack. I think this comes from my mom that is convinced the second I go out someone will attack me. Every time.

The few things i have done to ease my mind of being attacked while sleeping in my vehicle or just security of my camping spot is passive and active security.

I run a dash cam and have warning sticker on my visor I flip down since the front of my vehicle is usually facing the exit/entrance to my sight. Its a decent deterrent and I can check it if I am away from my camp sight for any creepers that may come back later.

I also have a full alarm with remote start that has 3mi range just incase I am not near my vehicle during break in it will notify me. I can also lock and alarm my vehicle while sleeping since it has shock sensors. Plus nothing freaks a thief out more than a vehicle starting while they are trying to break in. lol

 

[RonDean]

A lot of excellent advice here. But something bothered me about the person that admitted being armed AND having a high fear level. I would be more worried about being anywhere around that person than the average walker-by.

For myself, I trust my instincts. I am friendly without being totally trusting of strangers. If I don't feel safe, I move.

I don't know the exact statistics, but I suspect I have a higher risk of injury or death from driving down the road than from being attacked while camping. But I still go driving down the road. If we let fear enclose us, we are confined in a cage of our own making.

 

[Malamute]

I slept out on the ground under the stars, and in the back of my pickup for literally years worth of time cumulatively, ive only had a couple moments of hair raising anxiety in all that time. The one that comes to mind was one night in Az, sleeping next to my motorcycle when i hear an awful screeching/growling animal noise, and its coming closer. I was about 30 yards from the edge of a drop-off into a canyon, the beast was coming along the edge between me and the drop-off from the sound of it. I readied my pistol over the motorcycle seat an d turned on my flashlight, there was the most gorgeous red fox, quite startled, but gave another hideous call and moved on. The sounds decreased as it moved along. Later I heard it coming back the other way. I heard it at other times when camped there, I enjoyed seeing it when it came near.



Coyotes also make some disconcerting sounds at times, not just the ordinary howls and yips. When several get together at first they make all sorts of noise playing and greeting each other.



Otherwise, just a grizzly trying to come into camp, the dogs barked like crazy at it and it stayed just out in the edge of the trees about 15 or 20 yards out. No biggy.

 

[JeepLiving]

It might help to replace the word "fear" with maybe a word like "concern". Concern will keep you safe while fear may be paralyzing, preventing you from experiencing life on your own terms. I believe if you were truly "fearful", you wouldn't be out there solo camping. I think you're concerned, and that's a good trait that will help you avoid all but the most rare and random situations. As others have already mentioned, use your concerns to guide your preparedness. Whether walking in a big city or camping out in the wilds, observation and awareness are your two best precautions. Bear spray, an air horn and a really powerful flashlight can go a long way toward feeling secure at night. Sleeping in your vehicle is good protection. I sleep in mine, but mainly because it's more comfortable than the tent to me. I still set up a significant tent to hang out during warm days. Sleeping in the car on chilly nights is nicer. The little extra sense of security is sort of a bonus. I choose not to have a dog to avoid myriad complications, but since you do, you've got another significant layer of protection, if only as a warning system.

Personally, I don't believe an actual gun is a good idea unless you have a long history of experience with one. The romantic notion of blowing off an intruder's head will not last long if it ever comes to that. You'll have a stressful and unpredictable series of interactions with the local legal system, not to mention carrying the memory with you the rest of your life, no matter how "justified" you think it was. A Tazer or even pepper spray might be more reasonable. Or a baseball bat. I, myself, have a replica pirate cutlass on hand. Very intimidating. Taking a basic self-defense class might make you feel a bit less vulnerable.

My biggest concern (notice I didn't say, "fear"!) is exiting the car and finding out there's a rattlesnake sheltering underneath it. I envision putting my left foot out on the ground and getting a big surprise in the Achilles tendon. My "concern" translates into a practice of swooshing a short length of PVC pipe in the immediate vicinity outside the car door before I stick my foot out. An once of prevention etc, etc.

Good luck!


Cutlass has a certain "shock" value. It would also work on rattlesnakes hiding under the car.

 

[rruff]

A lot of excellent advice here. But something bothered me about the person that admitted being armed AND having a high fear level. I would be more worried about being anywhere around that person than the average walker-by.

Very good point. I've met lots of scared people who pulled a gun on me. I decided very early in my vagabonding, that a gun or any weapon was useless for that reason. I was *not* going to greet people with a loaded gun in my hand.

I had a .357 magnum kept loaded and under my seat. One day I contemplated when it would actually be useful. I decided that it never would be, because of the above. Anyone who actually meant me harm would get the drop on me, and escalating the situation by grabbing my own gun would likely get me killed.

So I copped a new attitude. Everyone I met was my friend... even if they had ill intent, or had a gun out because they were scared. I was completely vulnerable; no weapons, no threat of violence... just friendly... and also not afraid. That unafraid part was interesting. It think it had something to do with being open and vulnerable actually making me invulnerable. I'm not saying I wasn't in any danger... I was just too open and present to care... ? Very alert, but focused on having a real exchange with the other person. Predators look for prey... and are accustomed to prey having a fearful fight or flight reaction. If you give them something nice and are open with them instead, it very effectively interrupts whatever mode they were in...

I know this isn't useful advice for most people, because you can't fake it. It needs to be genuine. Maybe something to think about, also in the context of conflict in general.

Also, you may think this wouldn't work for a woman... but I spent some time with an attractive young woman who traveled alone, and who behaved the same way, and it worked very well for her. She even hung out in high crime neighborhoods, that I would have avoided.

 

[jacqueg]

View attachment 30084
Hi all! I’m fairly new to this, and I can’t get past the fear of camping by myself (though I still go). I bring my pup, I’m in a Honda Element where I can jump to the drivers seat in a second, I bring my big dog, I have various safety tools and defensive weapons.

I’m just looking for some advice on how you all got past it? Is it just through practice? Do you have any specific techniques? Or do you just live with it?

Thanks!!

Live with it! Fear is there because millions of years of evolution put it there. Never try to get rid of it.

But fear is definitely trainable. Just keep on going camping. You will learn what noises to pay attention to. Move if you feel you have to. And what doesn't bother me may bother you. That's fine, there's no one single rule to follow that is 100% reliable. Life is always a question of percentages. And we each have different ways of evaluating and reacting to those percentages.

 

[rruff]

I slept out on the ground under the stars, and in the back of my pickup for literally years worth of time cumulatively, ive only had a couple moments of hair raising anxiety in all that time.

If you stay out of grizzly country and avoid stepping on rattlers, the odds of being killed by an animal in the west is effectively zero... even sleeping on the ground in the open every night. Unless you count crashing into a deer or elk on the highway!