Discerning who to let in and how to deal with your circle of influence

[franqmichele]

I gave myself 2 months to tell my family, purchase a mostly converted space, modify it for my needs and get on the road.  It was a rush, I had a short timeline for my own personal reasons.

My family and inner circle were up and down with their support.

How do you guys deal?

You can check out my more detailed post here (Discerning who to let in and how to deal with your circle of influence)

 

[cyndi]

There's a 12 page discussion on this subject, here:
https://vanlivingforum.com/Thread-Should-You-Tell-Your-Family-Friends

 

[michele0203]

I have told just about everyone. Most think I'm nuts...even if they don't say so directly, I can tell by their comments and questions. My dad hasn't said a word. I know he thinks it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever said. At least he hasn't been hurtful. ...I guess he's learned that if you can't say anything nice not to say anything at all.

I think most people don't believe that I'll actually do it. Can't wait to prove them wrong!

 

[MrNoodly]

My family and inner circle were up and down with their support.

Being the independent and introverted type, I've spent most of my adult life not needing support/approval from anyone. It made choosing the nomadic life easy.

 

[highdesertranger]

I just tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. if someone doesn't approve or makes snide jokes oh well I am a big boy, I don't care. when I told mom she said "I don't want you to live like a hermit". I told her don't worry I am not going to live like a hermit, at least not all the time. highdesertranger

 

[rvpopeye]

Those that haven't traveled down this road don't know where it leads.
OR what to expect.
Many here do know.
Get a native guide,,,,,,ask here !

 

[ArtW]

I'm still stationary, but I've always used HDR's method
those that can't deal, they'll separate from you, shame you, hate on you, quit being your friend
Let em, they aren't your friends anyways
Keep the ones who don't do that, and let the others suck wind

 

[towhee]

I love this Irish blessing:

May those that love us, love us.
And those that don't, may God turn their hearts,
And if she doesn't turn their hearts, may she turn their ankle,
So we will know them by their limp.

Something like that.

But these inner circle folks already love you. So that's not really too relevant.

I think it might be hard on those left behind. That they might feel abandoned, maybe that we don't love them enough to stay. We are heading off to follow a dream. Maybe they aren't chasing their dreams. What we do challenges societal norms.

Also, when I leave I leave behind projects I was working on with people. I am pulling out and they are staying, and maybe there's a bit of sadness there.

 

[ArtW]

I always liked this Irish blessing

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Also, may you be in heaven an hour before the Devil knows you're dead

 

[franqmichele]

Being the independent and introverted type, I've spent most of my adult life not needing support/approval from anyone. It made choosing the nomadic life easy.

Noodly,  that is the attitude.

 

[franqmichele]

These Irish blessings are SICK. Thanks for sharing such beautiful words!

 

[franqmichele]

I love this Irish blessing:

May those that love us, love us.
And those that don't, may God turn their hearts,
And if she doesn't turn their hearts, may she turn their ankle,
So we will know them by their limp.

Something like that.

But these inner circle folks already love you. So that's not really too relevant.

I think it might be hard on those left behind. That they might feel abandoned, maybe that we don't love them enough to stay. We are heading off to follow a dream. Maybe they aren't chasing their dreams. What we do challenges societal norms.

Also, when I leave I leave behind projects I was working on with people. I am pulling out and they are staying, and maybe there's a bit of sadness there.

Towhee,

Thanks for offering up such truth.  There is a lot going on inside of people that have nothing to do with us, and your comment offers up an empathetic understanding.  Helps one hold on to peace and maintain a kind heart.

 

[franqmichele]

I have told just about everyone.  Most think I'm nuts...even if they don't say so directly, I can tell by their comments and questions. My dad hasn't said a word.  I know he thinks it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever said. At least he hasn't been hurtful. ...I guess he's learned that if you can't say anything nice not to say anything at all.  

I think most people don't believe that I'll actually do it. Can't wait to prove them wrong!

YASSSSS!!!!

I have a pretty A type personality, I didn't tell anyone until I had typed up a complete time outline, budget plan and goal page.  LOL.  I printed all that out and showed it to my father and dad.  The two people who were most skeptical at first.  I then showed it to my two friends who were helping me out with a place to stay to show them that I am serious and not going to be freeloading in their house in between my travels.  It is holding me accountable to a time frame and budget and I LOVE it.  The outline is truly for me, but I only showed it to those who may need to understand that being free does not mean being stupid nor wasteful.  I'm in my third month, and this experience is SUCH joy.

Blessings to you!

 

[USExplorer]

Some people are suspicious of everything they don't understand. You have already met some at home, and you will meet more when you are on the road.

Others are just jealous that they don't have the guts to do such a thing themselves, so they try to discourage you.

If they don't have anything helpful to say, ignore them.

 

[Stargazer]

People often have preconceived ideas about many things in life. It's true: they just don't understand and no matter what you say, it won't change their minds.

My elderly mother didn't get it but didn't say much to me. When I would visit her, she didn't understand why I would sleep in my van in her driveway when I was welcome to stay in her very nice guest room. One morning, early, there was a knock on my van door. I opened the door and there she was! I invited her in, gave her the comfy seat, "would you like some coffee? Yes, thank you." We sat in there, I showed her around (Lol!), and visited for about an hour. And she said, "Now I see why you like this." She was 90 years old then.

So be patient with those who don't get it. Just smile and nod, and do your thing.