Dating and van life. How does one go about this?

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ben2go

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I left a long term relationship over a year and a half ago. I've been on a couple of non serious dates. Didn't go to well. Now, I'm in a life transition from dirt dweller to van life. Next year, I plan to travel the US looking at sailboats. I'd like to date along the way. Nothing serious, dinning and conversation. I'm 47 and in a bit of a rush to get on the water before I'm 50 so I can spend the next 10-15 years sailing, hopefully around the world, but who knows. It's been a dream I've held to since I was 19.

Anyway, how has dating while traveling worked out since lock downs were lifted? Any tips or pointers?
 
I left a long term relationship over a year and a half ago. I've been on a couple of non serious dates. Didn't go to well. Now, I'm in a life transition from dirt dweller to van life. Next year, I plan to travel the US looking at sailboats. I'd like to date along the way. Nothing serious, dinning and conversation. I'm 47 and in a bit of a rush to get on the water before I'm 50 so I can spend the next 10-15 years sailing, hopefully around the world, but who knows. It's been a dream I've held to since I was 19.

Anyway, how has dating while traveling worked out since lock downs were lifted? Any tips or pointers?

INTJohn is our resident expert on the subject. Maybe he can share his expertise :)
😂😂😂
Sorry, dude, I’m not an expert on dating.
I am however very familiar with the female gender which is why I no longer have one in my life; haven’t had one in my life on a regular basis for ummm, over 20 years now and don’t care to ever have one in my life ever again.

But I will toss some things out there. Years back I was involved in high performance boating & racing. Just mention the word “boat” and living good by the water and you’ll have no problem having women approach you.

If you are a guy with a boat and you exude “success” women in general, being the financial parasites that most of them are will flock to you hoping to get in on your boat and your money. Choose carefully which of the parasites you want feeding off you.

So you’re 50ish…….. the half your age + 7 rule applies. So don’t go lower than age 32 ; in your case I might shift it down to 30. Assume Any in their 40’s are all perimenopausal - WARNING!! YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN!!

Healthy gals are important! Make sure they aren’t loaded with pills & anti depressants. Geesh you want to enjoy your life, dude! Not be encumbered with their misery.

A Gal with Woman Balls!
Hook up with one that has an adventurous spirit and minus a “victim complex”; speaks well of her father and not only isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty but is degree educated and cleans up well - can’t beat brains beauty & dirt.

Make sure she has enough of her own damn money and didnt bury or divorce 2 guys to get it! this is non negotiable.

Repeat - I’m not an expert I just hang out at beautiful beaches and like to party there with beautiful youngish well educated women.
u on ur own 😂😂
ciao
🤙
jonny boi

PS: Maki thinks I fantasize too much and that it never happens.
 
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As a woman, here, I’m going to say a few things.

Be friendly but not too much so.

Keep your hands to yourself and maintain reasonable social distance unless specifically invited to do otherwise.

Don’t presume that every woman traveling alone is interested in hookups or finds overt invitations endearing.

A woman who is pleasant and friendly is not necessarily issuing “come hither” vibes.

We older women traveling alone have a saying: “be careful with these old men”.

In other words, read the room/campsite carefully. ☺️
 
Truthfully…
That just passing through stuff simply does not work in today’s society unless you are into catching “bar flies”.
 
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Just as Women attract Men with their looks & charm, Men may attract Women as John suggest....but not as much with a "cosmetics" appearance. Being too good looking can arouse their suspicion.

You may recall what a shopkeeper told Harry Potter in Diagon Alley ? "The Wand picks the Wizard". So if you are a Wizard who can find the "happy medium" you could catch the eye of a lot of women. If your skills of observation are good, you will notice them "putting themselves out there" for you to notice them and approach. Many women don't like men who just seem too easy or to approach them too quickly, so appearing to be walking around in your testosterone fog may pique their interest. Some girls will walk into you or come close to it just to see if she can get a conversation going with you......or to see if your head is bone clear thru.

A lot of women have a "distant" view of their surroundings. That is they are looking hundreds of feet away instead of the shorter view that so many men have. The long view gives them the advantage moving in or avoiding. Likewise many use a half smile which is their upper front teeth exposed so they appear approachable, but can quickly turn it to a full smile to signal.....approach me.
This is all part of body language.

If you are in new surroundings and you see a girl you would like to get to know it may be wise to use a system of three's. Make the first contact with a smile and very brief hello and them move on. Then a second approach more like crossing paths and linger a little longer. By the third encounter you may chat a bit longer as she may feel like she is familiar with you enough to chat some to see what you are all about.

Lastly, don't be too common at any one place. Lots of clubs, bars, bistro's etc have their "regulars" who loiter there.....like it's their territory. (they feel safe there and know other women there to work with within their circle of friends.
Some will sit near a window or door where they can check out the new arrivals
as they get out of their car/van/rv on the parking lot to be ready. (again the long view) Some of these regulars have signals they give each other....kinda like baseball players using signals. I think women would prefer hunting with a shotgun where men with a rifle as an example. Women attract a lot of guys attention like casting a net.....and the guys take aim on one at a time. Often the women who work in a small group will signal the others she wants first shot at this guy.

One music video that I've found that showcases this rather well is a video by The Fabulous Thunderbirds titled "Wrap it Up". Watch it closely a few times.

Wrap it Up
 
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Anyway, how has dating while traveling worked out since lock downs were lifted? Any tips or pointers?
I have near zero casual dating experience. But if that is all you want, it should be about the same whether you are a vagabond or not. Decent looking, confident, and $$$ to spend on them... no worries. :p

I had 3 long term relationships while living in a wee Toyota truck. Obviously, they needed to like camping! And they needed to like hanging out with me 24/7! This was through the 90s, and I was in my 30s. They were all good looking, smart, college educated, etc. I met two at a library (one was a librarian), and the other at a Rainbow Gathering. None were campers or vagabonds when I met them, but they all enjoyed it.

Assume any in their 40’s are all perimenopausal - WARNING!! YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN!!
Is that worse than menopausal or post menopausal? :ROFLMAO::eek: I thought "half your age +7 rule" should be the upper limit, not the lower! Currently that rule comes to 39 for me.

Now that I have plenty of experience with women, I just don't think I can be fooled again. But I thought that last time, and oh hell was I wrong! :poop:

...In other words, read the room/campsite carefully. ☺️
Jeez Rose, you make it sound like navigating a mine field! :ninja::devilish:
 
There are Facebook groups of Van life singles looking for such things. Try there for advice, more likely to be more persons under the age of 40 in those groups.
 
One thing I should clarify. I'm not looking for hook ups. Just a nice peaceful evening with good conversation with a nice lady from time to time. I've been in two major relationships, one being a marriage, and dipped my toe into hook up culture in the early 2000s, YIKES! I'm definitely not looking to add a lady to my life. I like peace. I also don't think I'm capable of finding a quality woman to be with long term. I've never been a good judge of character with women.
 
If you are willing to PAY for dinner, and it's a nice restaurant... I think you'll be fine!

Maybe wear a sign to that effect... see what happens...
 
One thing I should clarify. I'm not looking for hook ups. Just a nice peaceful evening with good conversation with a nice lady from time to time. I've been in two major relationships, one being a marriage, and dipped my toe into hook up culture in the early 2000s, YIKES! I'm definitely not looking to add a lady to my life. I like peace. I also don't think I'm capable of finding a quality woman to be with long term. I've never been a good judge of character with women.
Yeah; especially livin on a boat sailing the world. 😂 there are guys who ended up kicking em overboard and sail away. Might wana research islands that don’t have a US extradition treaty. 😂😂
ain’t sayin; jus sayin
jonny boi

EDIT:
Here ya go dude. Place to start. If ur guna boat around the world. This link will get you started on non us extradition countries yes they mention warm water countries & islands. This is a place to start only. Get on the ocean boat full timers forums too both sail & trawler live aboar - they’ll have tons of info on topics etc like this place is to vehicle living they are to live aboard ocean living.
https://offshorecitizen.net/citizenship-by-investment/non-extradition-countries/
 
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I suggest instead of offering a sit-down dinner at a restaurant that you forget about going out to dinner and confine your invitations to “let’s get an ice cream in town” or “let’s go find a taco or burger for lunch”. Keep it super casual and always very affordable so even if you offer to pay there is no feeling of obligation financially. Consider that to now be the “written rule” for asking for a getting to know you “date” on the road. Forget those dinner invites you mentioned. That is not part of the VanLife “getting to know you behavior”. Keep it super casual and ALWAYS in the DAYTIME if you want your invitations to be accepted and trusted.
 
I suggest instead of offering a sit-down dinner at a restaurant that you forget about going out to dinner and confine your invitations to “let’s get an ice cream in town” or “let’s go find a taco or burger for lunch”. Keep it super casual and always very affordable so even if you offer to pay there is no feeling of obligation financially. Consider that to now be the “written rule” for asking for a getting to know you “date” on the road. Forget those dinner invites you mentioned. That is not part of the VanLife “getting to know you behavior”. Keep it super casual and ALWAYS in the DAYTIME if you want your invitations to be accepted and trusted.
You make some good points.
 
You may want to look into the nature of "Sigma Males". (lone Wolf types)
It may help you to identify the best type of woman for your personality type.
You are at an age and with enough experience to see things more clearly now.

...........and the world is full of boats of all kinds. Lots of nice ones that can be had reasonably and there are even sites that offer them free to a good owner. (often out of estates etc) There are sites that feature giveaways to good homes, or low priced where some are wood and some fiberglass and in various states of repair. Often people wind up in divorces etc where they can't afford the storage or a slip for their boat. Some who are lucky enough to get a free boat manage to bring it onto the ground propped up and live in it while restoring it to seaworthiness. (for little cost for a space to do this)

This could be your temporary sticks & bricks and may even attract some curious self assured women who would find you and your set up intriguing

.Free Sailboats Com
 
...I'd like to date along the way...hopefully around the world, but who knows. It's...a dream I...held to since I was 19.

Anyway, how has dating while traveling worked out since lock downs were lifted? Any tips or pointers?
.
By 'dating', are you referring to nekkid and exchanging bodily fluids?
As I understand the rumors, that section of Craigslist was shut by various ossifers of the Vice Squad, called into action after a 'vocal minority' got their panties all in a bunch.
Tyrants.
.
These days, I guess we just have to go to places with plenty of suitable candidates and ask some likely candidates:
* "Are you 'dating'?"
Sooner than later, you should have your 'date' or 'dates'!
.

.
And, of course, as we all know so well, 'around the world' is pretty much the standard these days.
Or so I hear...
.
[Edited to add]
Truly enterprising types might casually glance through certain notifications in the newspaper:
 
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If you are willing to PAY for dinner, and it's a nice restaurant... I think you'll be fine!

Maybe wear a sign to that effect... see what happens...
.
A 'foodie-call'?
Might as well put up a personal ad.
Keep it simple, something like:
* "I will feed you and pay your bills."
Include a portrait of your wallet and credit-cards...
.
However, some dinners are provided by warm-hearted fathers on a SpecialDay©:
 
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I love a good conversation. If you manage to get my interest that way I can sit and talk with you for hours. Going out to dinner could require a bit of preplanning. I am not showering everyday and if going out to a decent meal I want to shower first. Like Jonny boi, just saying. 🤪
 
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