Care to have your story shared?

[SoulRaven]

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six Ways to Make People Like You
Become genuinely interested in other people.
Smile.
Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other person's interest.
Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People

 

[ttpadilla]

I came up with the questions because I'm in a college class that requires a research paper on a topic of my choosing, and one source must be an original interview. Vandwelling/off grid living has been a longterm fascination of mine, as you can conclude from my forum introduction post 2.5 years ago. I figured that it would be a fun, novel topic, and I could easily get a few people from the community to chime in without much difficulty. The thesis wasn't meant to be pessimistic or derogatory in any way (I'm assuming that that's the way it came off based on my responses so far -- I apologize if that's the case). It was only based on my best guess in order to get my foot in the door to focus my research. 

No, I never built the van, but my dream wasn't squashed. My life took a turn in a direction that I wasn't expecting at the time. I'm currently earning my bachelor's degree with plans of grad school, but I'd still like to build the van to take extended trips in. 

Congratulations on earning your degree! Best of luck with your paper, and I do hope you get a chance to build a van, and hit the road from time-to-time. I have been living in a motorhome full time for a year, but it's been parked on a piece of property that I rented from some very nice people. Unfortunately, the County in which I live doesn't care for the arrangement (they can't fully tax the property unless it has an actual dwelling on it), so I'm hitting the road on the 15th. I guess you could count that as people being less accepting of the lifestyle, but then I see all these "off the grid" and "tiny house" movements growing by leaps and bounds, and I think overall, the alternative lifestyle is growing in favor. As I am not actually on the road yet, I can't legitimately answer the questions you posted, except that my high society friends don't approve, my other friends are quietly concerned about my mental health, and my family is whole-heartedly accepting, and excited for me. I hope you receive other responses that fulfill the requirements you seek.

Best to you,

 

[rjs111]

Now you are seeing what it takes in Vandwelling.  Open communication makes everything work. police and relations as well.

My contribution will be in your inbox soon.

The questions are designed toward the negative, thus the positive attitude of my responses.

I assure you, I wasn't intentionally keeping information from anybody. Had I known that more background information would have helped in the first place, I would have added it. I'm glad someone asked though.

Thank you very much for taking the time to do that! Your responses really help. 

Rjs

Your post was neither derogatory nor offensive. I can only imagine some of the responses were fueled by people who didn't completely read your request, and whose knee jerk responses were were the result of thin skinned insecurity and ignorance. I have never been embarrassed about being a member of this forum before, but I am embarrassed by some of the negative and rather insulting responses you've received.  You made no assumptions, asking IF anyone had noticed a change, and asked for positive and negative experiences both.  This is indicative of a good research paper. Good luck with your studies.

Thank you for saying that. I was starting to think that this was a bad idea, but you really turned it around.

Congratulations on earning your degree!  Best of luck with your paper, and I do hope you get a chance to build a van, and hit the road from time-to-time.  I have been living in a motorhome full time for a year, but it's been parked on a piece of property that I rented from some very nice people.  Unfortunately, the County in which I live doesn't care for the arrangement (they can't fully tax the property unless it has an actual dwelling on it), so I'm hitting the road on the 15th.  I guess you could count that as people being less accepting of the lifestyle, but then I see all these "off the grid" and "tiny house" movements growing by leaps and bounds, and I think overall, the alternative lifestyle is growing in favor.  As I am not actually on the road yet, I can't legitimately answer the questions you posted, except that my high society friends don't approve, my other friends are quietly concerned about my mental health, and my family is whole-heartedly accepting, and excited for me.   I hope you receive other responses that fulfill the requirements you seek.

Best to you,

Thank you! Good luck out on the road!

Just my take on why some responses are rather cool to this request.

Although the core members of this forum are very generous in answering questions relating to the process of life on the road in it's many forms, this is a request for more personal information by an outsider to the group and many people are uncomfortable with that situation. Many here don't want to feel "studied" and the fact that the OP has hidden his 2.5 year history on the forum adds to the cautious reaction.

I think that if the OP had taken part in the group over the years, had an open history of forum use (I didn't even know that hiding was an option), had an image associated with his ID and used his name as in his first post (Robert) that this might have worked out better.

My feeling is that a in person interview would be far superior anyway. Why not visit some campgrounds and get in some face time with your subject?

Guy

I understand where you're coming from, but I didn't hide anything intentionally (if my profile is hidden, please tell me how to fix it!). The only other thread I participated in was when introduced myself to the forum 2.5 years ago. I didn't ask any questions in that time because any questions I came up with had already been covered in great detail by other users. I didn't feel that I had the right to give anyone advise on the subject seeing that I don't even own a van. 

If many here don't want to feel studied, I would imagine that people in person would also not want to feel studied. Doing it through the forum, I can contact many people with different social/economic/geographic backgrounds. 

 

[mockturtle]

Thank you for at least asking for permission on an individual basis. Several years ago I was on a forum for spouses and children of those with Lewy Body Dementia. This was a private site and we were very free in our discussions, many of which were of a very personal nature. One member, rather new, revealed that she was writing a book and was using our posts as material!!!!! Of course, the rest of us were furious. I don't get the impression that you are taking advantage of anyone here but are proceeding in an ethical manner.

 

[GotSmart]

There were writers at RTR that are now enthusiastic participants in this lifestyle. Keep your mind open.

 

[flying kurbmaster]

Rjs

Your post was neither derogatory nor offensive. I can only imagine some of the responses were fueled by people who didn't completely read your request, and whose knee jerk responses were were the result of thin skinned insecurity and ignorance. I have never been embarrassed about being a member of this forum before, but I am embarrassed by some of the negative and rather insulting responses you've received.  You made no assumptions, asking IF anyone had noticed a change, and asked for positive and negative experiences both.  This is indicative of a good research paper. Good luck with your studies.

give me a break "indicative of a good research paper", I often wonder who answers these kinds of questions, who participates. If there are fifty people in a room, 49 give your performance a standing ovation, your focus after the show is likely, why did that one person not like my show, a person can live in a van for 352 days on the 278th day a group of teenagers walk by in a semi drunk state one randomly  taps hard on the side of the van on his way by, scares you awake, what day sticks in your mind.  We tend to remember negative experiences and forget about all the positive ones unless they are exceptional, Drama makes the headlines. Don't ask me how to get real information but by randomly asking to state your positive and negative experiences, is in my mind flawed. Seraphin you are not helping by insulting members and making dramatic statements, when as far as I read, no one has made any insulting or negative statements rather most have showed their skepticism and wanted to know who is asking? Not a stretch in this day and age.   

 

[SoulRaven]

My feeling is that a in person interview would be far superior anyway. Why not visit some campgrounds and get in some face time with your subject?

Guy

With all due respect, I'm not sure many van dwellers stay in campgrounds that much.

 

[GotSmart]

Having written many research papers myself, the OP is doing things right. He has found the mother load of vandwellers here.

There is no set in stone formula for doing a paper, but several mandated ways of the presentation of the findings.

It would be interesting to see the finished product.

 

[rjs111]

With all due respect, I'm not sure many van dwellers stay in campgrounds that much.

I would imagine that the majority would be full-time RVers... maybe a few part timers mixed in. 

I'm 95% certain that there's a local vandweller camped a few streets down, but I've never actually seen him or her. There's probably no good way to approach them without first giving them a heart attack, then spooking them from their spot (or maybe city). By doing the interview online I'm not going to encroach anyone's physical space. 

Having written many research papers myself, the OP is doing things right. He has found the mother load of vandwellers here.

There is no set in stone formula for doing a paper, but several mandated ways of the presentation of the findings.  

It would be interesting to see the finished product.

Thanks. Since you were nice enough to interview for me, I'd be happy to send you a finished copy 

 

[Seraphim]

give me a break "indicative of a good research paper", I often wonder who answers these kinds of questions, who participates. If there are fifty people in a room, 49 give your performance a standing ovation, your focus after the show is likely, why did that one person not like my show, a person can live in a van for 352 days on the 278th day a group of teenagers walk by in a semi drunk state one randomly  taps hard on the side of the van on his way by, scares you awake, what day sticks in your mind.  We tend to remember negative experiences and forget about all the positive ones unless they are exceptional, Drama makes the headlines. Don't ask me how to get real information but by randomly asking to state your positive and negative experiences, is in my mind flawed. Seraphin you are not helping by insulting members and making dramatic statements, when as far as I read, no one has made any insulting or negative statements rather most have showed their skepticism and wanted to know who is asking? Not a stretch in this day and age.   

Sounds to me like you've never written a research paper, nor have any knowledge about how one is researched or constructed. There is no 'show', no ovations, nor will the responses posted here be the only source of information used in attempting to form an opinion - which is all a research paper consists of: information derived from varied and numerous sources used to attempt an educated opinion. A research paper is as much about process as result. ACA's,Eric, technological and and scientific achievements often begin as a research paper paper, to explore a particular question and organize thoughts and opinions. You consider a process flawed of which you apparently have no experience. Your lack of understanding does not make the process flawed.  And if a few individuals felt insulted by my comments, perhaps they might reconsider the wording of their posts.

 

[flying kurbmaster]

you seem to be all knowing about just about everything, including what I have done or not done. When doing research usually an ethics committee is formed, research is done on papers already on the subject, you should state what you are doing different or just assessing their research, the committee is there to make sure no one is hurt,  makes sure you let all participants know what you are doing it for, who you are, who you intend to interview, how many people you hope to talk to, what you hope to achieve, what you are going to do with this information whether you finish it or not, none of which was stated by anyone yet, I understand this is not for a PHD but just the same some of these questions should have been offered initially. Some have since been drawn out.
 mr Seraphin with all due respect you jump on a stray boat based on two posts and belittle everyone else that has sailed with you for some time," knee jerk, thin skinned, ignorance, embarrassed to know you". I won't argue with you,  you win, you're right, I don't want to be subjected to your MO which is attacking.  I agree, we  should all jump on this wagon, answer any question that anyone shows up out of nowhere cares to ask, honestly, to the best of our knowledge, giving any details they would like to have, real name, age, address,without questioning,  where do I sign, send the cheque, can I pm my back account, credit card or do I have to make it public right here. You obviously know where this research is going so I will take your word for it. Sorry for my ignorance. 

 

[rjs111]

I agree, we  should all jump on this wagon, answer any question that anyone shows up out of nowhere cares to ask, honestly, to the best of our knowledge, giving any details they would like to have, real name, age, address,without questioning,  where do I sign, send the cheque, can I pm my back account, credit card or do I have to make it public right here. You obviously know where this research is going so I will take your word for it. Sorry for my ignorance. 

Wow, thank you! That's very generous of you. Can you send me your social security number along with your bank account information?! 

In all seriousness, I think I was very clear that those that choose to help me could answer as little or as much as they feel comfortable with. This is for a general education college english class. Excuse me, but this is the first time I've ever done anything like this, and I'm trying to be as forthcoming as I can be. Next time I need to conduct an interview you can be sure that I've learned a thing or two of how to word my requests. 

I'm not asking for any money (or any means to get money). My only goal right now is to get as much accurate information as I can so I can write a quality paper. Besides, unless your answer to the question, "What events took place that led to your decision to start living in your vehicle?" is, "My credit card number is XXXX..." then I fail to see how it's an issue. 

 

[GotSmart]

Second year college research papers are extremely low budget items. No committees, no grants, no peer review.

Simply a product that is produced for evaluation. Perhaps if it is of sufficient interest, it is expounded into a thesis. It is just one of perhaps 500 a professor evaluates in a normal term.

If anyone is able to mine my credit into a motherload from general common knowledge, more power to them. I have had professionals devour my resources already. If interested, I will give you contact information on my ex wives. They have it all.

I for one have given a short answer to each question.

People, you do not have to be specific or write a book. He is a person who is honestly interested in the lifestyle. Help him understand, and combat the ignorance in the academic community about the guy in the van that needs a shave. We are free spirits, not a pack of angry rodents!

By looking he can write the paper without talking to a person. BUT~~~ He has asked and tried to explain himself. I believe the explanation given. (If I am wrong, it would not be the first time.)

 

[rvwandering]

Please keep this thread civil and refrain from belittling or attacking other members.
It is up to you whether you want to help rjs111 with his paper or not. If you don't have anything helpful to add please stay out of the discussion. I don't want to close the thread. Thanks!

 

[SoulRaven]

I would imagine that the majority would be full-time RVers... maybe a few part timers mixed in. 

I'm 95% certain that there's a local vandweller camped a few streets down, but I've never actually seen him or her. There's probably no good way to approach them without first giving them a heart attack, then spooking them from their spot (or maybe city). By doing the interview online I'm not going to encroach anyone's physical space. 

Thanks, my point exactly, online is the best approach for finding us.

 

[sisterearth]

Hope you get the info you need to write your paper. Since I am not currently living in my van I won't be of much help though I spent two years out in NM living in an rv one year and a bus and tent the other year. But that was a bit of a ways back. please don't think all people who want to live in their whatevers are unkind and closed off. This is only a small sampling of folks out there. And I know how you feel of wanting to be able to do something as in curious about the lifestyle, but for whatever reasons just cannot yet, so in the meantime you live vicariously through others going over forums, and blogs, and videos, dreaming and picking up information for when you can live that dream. I am sorry and kind of sad for the reactions here for you, but have no doubt you will find some folks who will want to share. And someday when you are ready and have your van, car, boat, rv whatever, maybe we can sit around a campfire and swap stories. Have a beautiful today! Peace! My mamma always said...if you don't have anything kind to say, try not to say it....I try to follow that advice as much as I can. If everybelly would, man what a groovy planet this would be!

 

[rjs111]

Hope you get the info you need to write your paper. Since I am not currently living in my van I won't be of much help though I spent two years out in NM living in an rv one year and a bus and tent the other year. But that was a bit of a ways back. please don't think all people who want to live in their whatevers are unkind and closed off. This is only a small sampling of folks out there. And I know how you feel of wanting to be able to do something as in curious about the lifestyle, but for whatever reasons just cannot yet, so in the meantime you live vicariously through others going over forums, and blogs, and videos, dreaming and picking up information for when you can live that dream. I am sorry and kind of sad for the reactions here for you, but have no doubt you will find some folks who will want to share. And someday when you are ready and have your van, car, boat, rv whatever, maybe we can sit around a campfire and swap stories. Have a beautiful today! Peace! My mamma always said...if you don't have anything kind to say, try not to say it....I try to follow that advice as much as I can. If everybelly would, man what a groovy planet this would be!

Thanks for your nice comments. You summed up my fascination with the lifestyle perfectly, and I really do live vicariously through you guys.  

Actually, I've had an overall good experience here. Most of the people have been very helpful. Honestly, I don't blame those who are tentative. It certainly hasn't impacted my view of vandwellers or the forum as a whole. 

 

[rvpopeye]

rjs
Just like life in general...."It takes all kinds"
I've been living on wheels for a long time now and I've come across a huge variety of responses to that.

Some look down on me
Some say "get out of town,parking lot,field,woods,". "Get a house"
OR, "if it was up to me you can stay in my back 40 , but my wife , insurance company , neighbor , wants you to go.
LEOs might say "move along".or "wow , this rig is cool" ,then tell me to move.....

Some wish they could get out of their lifestyle and join me. But they never will.
Some actually do that!
I've met a LOT of great people on the road , in a campground , in a parking lot , on a mountain top.
And some that seem determined to ruin it for everybody with their actions (or lack thereof).
I try to be informative and supportive ,they can join in or not.
Some do , some don't , some will , some won't....
Kind of like women !! Skuh kuh kuh kuh kuh