Broken heart by a Non-nomad

[Mizzi]

Most people have a misconception of what love and happiness is. All relationships are different and when a person enters into a relationship with another they have to acknowledge that they can no longer do what they want, they are no longer single but rather a part of a couple and that they have to talk and discuss every situation over with their partner. Most men say that women try to change them when they get married and that they don't like it. What they don't understand is that they too change the woman the only difference is that the women don't complain about it because they are more adaptable to change and are willing to do it due to the love that they feel for their partners.

Sometimes what happens in a relationship is a woman leaves because they realize that they have made so much sacrifice of their lives to their spouse/partner and that the partner/spouse doesn't reciprocate so they go in search for a better life. They go in search for that man who will treat them in a way that their husbands lack. Men do the same they too go in search for a woman who will love them unconditionally for who and what they are.

Sadly though most people end up with several partners and several families are broken along the way because people don't like to change or because they feel tied down and stagnant in their relationships. Rather than work at them they give up and move on.

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

I'm sorry this happened to you.
Red

 

[Mrcap]

Love has no need to dismantle independence.


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[Mizzi]

Mrcap,

If you're wanting independence then don't get married. It's that simple because in relationships there will always be change, compromise and the family will always come first.

 

[Mrcap]

Successful marriages are comprised of two whole individuals who complement one another. Rather than attempting to make each other complete, one enriches the other’s life and vice versa. For that reason, it is important that we put forth the energy to maintain ourselves individually. The intent of marriage is not to entirely expunge independence.



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[sephson]

I'm reminded of a conversation I had with my niece not too long ago. She had just broken up with her boyfriend of several years. I'm not in the habit of giving advice, so I simply told her that even easy breakups are painful, but it does get better with time.

 

[kimkelb89]

Wow. To me he sounds like a control freak and you were brilliant in extricating yourself quickly, before things got too far. Sorry you are feeling broken hearted but I think you avoided years of grief. Good for you! ~hugs~

You read my mind. Immediately I thought, "Control freak." That sentence and the way he worded it screams dominating and controlling.

 

[kimkelb89]

when I excitedly shared my summer camping experiences with him, he warned me that "when we live together you're not going anywhere".  

Run. Seriously you dodged a bullet. He said, "you're not going anywhere." That sounds like a friggen stalker and control freak. And you know very little about him. You made the right decision to ditch him. The right person would ASK how you wanted to manage travel with being with them.

 

[RollingOm]

  
It's nearly impossible to convey to others the true foundation of happiness....a self directed, authentic life.

I agree with that, being true to yourself, and living an authentic life is a true foundation for happiness; however, the hard part is that there will be times when you will find yourself all alone because people will usually want to pull you in to fit their own agendas, but when you're building up your personal integrity, you no longer play into these things, so you walk away, sometimes broken hearted. I guess it's all part of the process, but at the end the experience will leave you stronger, and most assured that you don't need to be tied up to anyone to fill complete. I am free to Love, and I am free to leave, and so is the other person.

I am now over that person, we ended the relationship with no further emotional/psychological damage. I attended the RTR, and I am now back to Los Angeles to take a break and plan my next Summer get away to the most beautiful mountains of Mt Shasta and Montana

Viva La Vida!  (Live life to the fullest!)

Rolling Om

 

[GrumpyG]

Relationships are complicated. I'm an old fart now, made my share of mistakes in relationships. As I reach my "twilight years", as they say, I'm really thankful for my dogs.

 

[toilfreelife]

Here's the rub: not to be negative or critical, but I see this all the time with people. They get swept away by the "superficial" goodies the person presents as or can give them, and when the depths aren't there of true respect and decency, they seem shocked and devastated.  Depth, depth, depth.  That's the bottom line needed to have an awesome relationship. And for loneliness, I think it's one of the greatest teachers ever. From what I know of true happiness, being alone (in the highest sense) enables one to experience the infinite silent/still existence we all are presently in.  Goose bumps don't come close. 

Rich

Edited to remove generalizations and unnecessary quoting~cyndi

 

[WILD@HEART]

Relationships are complicated.  I'm an old fart now, made my share of mistakes in relationships.  As I reach my "twilight years", as they say, I'm really thankful for my dogs.  

LOL! Sometimes true, that may be the better alternative. They love you unconditionally, always happy to see you and their LOYAL...there's a rarities among the human species

 

[WILD@HEART]

ihey  altruisticvanbuildHere's the rub: not to be negative or critical, but I see this all the time with people. They get swept away by the "superficial" goodies the person presents as or can give them, and when the depths aren't there of true respect and decency, they seem shocked and devastated.  Depth, depth, depth.  That's the bottom line needed to have an awesome relationship. And for loneliness, I think it's one of the greatest teachers ever. From what I know of true happiness, being alone (in the highest sense) enables one to experience the infinite silent/still existence we all are presently in.  Goose bumps don't come close. 

Rich

With some knowlege and learning to listen to your primal Fear & Red Flags! Read, Watch & Learn! You don't need to be a victim in any way, cicumstance or to any degree. This is for everyone, men too)  "The Gift Of Fear" by Gavin Debecker  Books & Youtube Interviews

 

[Honeys Park]

Probably just need to meet a super nice guy like that scar we are around here