Breaking Away....

[Gypsy108]

@eDJ_   It will be very confusing to change my name and go through such drastic measures being that i am a veteran and get Social Security, etc.   I don't wanna mess up getting my benefits....he is not dangerous that i would have to fear for my life....but i do plan on going out of state.....and i will cover my tracks ....and go "No Contact" .     I will BLOCK him on my cell...I pay for my own cell phone too & it is paperless...I also have HIM on my Google Map tracking .  Don't worry...I will make it hard for him to find me & contact me .

Thank you for all your tips...i will look further into them...

:heart:

 

[Gypsy108]

Well.. today i have an appointment at a place that helps homeless (or to be homeless) veterans.  I also have a case worker now that is helping me.  I hope they can help me to relocate out of state ...i don't know how that will work...if they can't then I'll have to drive out of state and start over i suppose.....i don't know how this system works...all i know is i am determined to leave......

 

[WanderingRose]

That sounds good, and maybe the first step for you would be a domestic violence shelter.

You don’t have to be beaten to qualify, and these usually require an intake interview over the phone.

Your caseworker can help you sort out options.

One of the real upsides to a DV shelter is that they can provide a lot of support, to help you sort out what is going on and what you want to do.

Some counseling, groups, goal-oriented tasks to help you find your feet in a new life.

DV shelters are not homeless shelters.

They are funded differently and are generally much nicer, for what that may be worth.

Good luck to you.

 

[Gypsy108]

Yes I think that’s exactly the place I’m going for intake/ interview now....I already qualified under my circumstances...etc

:heart: Thank you WanderingRose

 

[Gypsy108]

Well the place that's available for me ....if i choose to go....is nice...hardly anyone else there...i'd get my own room..BUT
I can't smoke there (yes i started again),  I can't even go to a restaurant and have a beer....the dinning hall is in a men's rehab building....so men will be gawking at me if choose to eat there......

To put it bluntly....I'd be going from one stressful situation to another....and my stress level now is at an all time high...i just can't take anymore stress......

So where i am right now i am alone all day & most of the evening.....i can do what ever i want all day & night....no restrictions......i can plan my escape more comfortably in my own space where i am.....

I also feel a little creeped out about the shelter....for other reasons......just the VIBES....

So i decided to just stay put & make my escape plans where i am at......
The Veterans Advocate that is supposed to be helping me doesn't call me back after several calls & messages i left...

I feel like i'm going around in circles..........

 

[crofter]

Your healing place may not be a shelter. 

Camping trip by yourself may just bring on problems, but check out safe camping spots you can go to for that first night. I have been on lots of camping trips, but my first dv exit camping trip was at Walmart for a night, or some people take the bus, other people drive until exhausted then boondock. Rest areas will be checked for sure. Stay safe.
-crofter

You could also take the train nonstop, but more expensive than the bus. This one goes north, also San Diego to New Orleans and all points onward.

https://www.amtrak.com/pacific-surfliner-train

 

[Gypsy108]

Right....too much stress in those places....and i pick up on everyones energy....

The lady that is helping me at the V.A. finally called me today to let me know what's going on....she is in touch with people in the states i told her i'd like to live in....she seems to have good contacts...there are housing organizations that work for women veterans in abusive situations....so they are trying to find something for me....i'd rather have a place all set up for me before i go...so all i have to do i drive out there & unpack & start my life over again......i want to take my car...i hope it will take me without breaking down.....my car is known for being a good vehicle, even at it's age...(17 years old)...
Who knows....maybe after i drive my car half way across the states...i will love it and feel more comfortable about living in it if i HAD to....if i was younger & in better shape it wouldn't be so bad.....it's one thing getting out of your comfort zone...and another thing being UNCOMFORTABLE & miserable out of your comfort zone.....it's just TOO STRESSFUL FOR ME to deal with being UNCOMFORTABLE now.   I am overweight &  out of shape....i have never dealt with these issues before either.....a few years ago i had a ton of energy....a few years ago I BOUGHT A BEAUTIFUL VAN !!!!!!  I don't wanna talk about it......lol....

I just had my 2nd Covid Vaxx today.....at least i got that out of the way....

 

[WanderingRose]

Mmmm, sounds like the shelter is not a good option for you.

All one reads and hears about the VA is how overwhelmed they are, no small comfort to you, but if you just need someone to talk with and help you plan the DV shelter may have advocates you can access.

Most if not all congregate settings will not allow smoking indoors, just the way of things in this day and age.

Thanks for letting us know how you’re doing, as I’m sure I’m not the only one who worries a bit.

 

[Gypsy108]

Well...i'm working with a lady from the V.A. now....she's like an advocate....i feel sorry for her because she is the ONLY ONE working in this department helping female veterans in domestic abuse !!!   Yes it is overwhelming all the veterans in need of housing, etc.  I can't understand why more isn't being done about this huge problem.  There's tons of unused land that low income housing could be built on....it just doesn't make sense.

Thank you WanderingRose for your concern :heart: I am very resourceful and WILL get help and i know everything will work out eventually.......if i get a place in Arizona i will come to meet you guys & camp out & i will have a place for you also to come to and relax & chill & shower & hopefully i will have a pool  :heart:

 

[Gypsy108]

and if they can't help me with finding an apartment...i will ask them if they can find me a donated Rv to live in... :heart:

 

[RoamerRV428]

yes keep working with the veteran advocate.....you know most of that stuff never 'moves fast' but in the end that person can probably get you something.

Out of state, new start.....lower level of vicious stress, yea will help you alot! You will breath so much easier once the chaos part is handled.

 

[Gypsy108]

:heart:  Yes....i know i will get help & "every little thing's gonna be all right"...i feel it ....Thx Roamer  :heart:

Bob :

 

[aMUSEd]

Huge hugs Gypsy.
Soon you'll again feel the thrill of knowing yourself and trusting your gut. I'm in a similar situation and sadly the one that gaslights me is my child. It kills me to admit that. Me leaving isn't a secret to anyone. My plan is to take a 2.5 week practice trip from MN to KY, boondocking.
I'm scared. Letting go of a dear cat that has seen me thru many tears, really hurts. I'm only 50, but my ability to think critically is very bad, my memory is trashed and I can't walk very far because of a blocked artery in my leg. Letting go of medications and the doctors that prescribe them.
For me, leaving means life. I hope to reconnect w nature & reinvent myself. I try to take this change one day at a time and imagine my life in 6 months, I imagine myself healing under the AZ sun.
Bob says there are tons of women out there that were in similar situations and I can't wait to find them & offer support to those that havnt left yet. Maybe I'll find you there too.
We grow strong in the broken places.
Believe in yourself &
let go.
Tracy

Sent from my LM-V405 using Tapatalk

 

[Gypsy108]

Thank you aMUSEd  :heart:

I’m sorry you are going through this with your own child.... I can’t imagine what that’s like.... gut wrenching I’m sure...when you love someone it’s sad to leave them...
I also have a cat but she’ll be happier in her own turf & surroundings...

Your health is vitally important when you have no one else to depend on but yourself... I’m going to make sure all my medical needs will be addressed & I will have a good support system & available medical facilities if needed... I don’t want wander too far ... just in case....or if I do have what I’d need for emergencies...

I wish you the best journey  :heart: :heart:
You are lucky to have made good connections here !!!

 

[crofter]

BTW there are dwellers with cats. You might want to use a leash & purse puppy carrier.
-crofter

 

[Cammalu]

Why let go of the cat? I have three and they go in and out no problem when I’m parked for awhile. They are under strict orders to stay in at night however. They wear collars with names and phone numbers just in case. They don’t go far.

 

[LERCA]

I agree. The cat will bring you a lot of comfort and less homesickness.

 

[maki2]

Much depends on the cat. If you. If you can traiin the cat to let you know it needs to go out on a leash to potty life will be a lot more pleasant when living in a car.

Cammalu has a big Class A motorhome which is vastly different than living with a cat in a car where finding space for your own toilet seems to require removing your front seat.

I rehomed my cats. They would have been miserable and so would I.

 

[Gypsy108]

I love my cat and think more of what would make her happy .... cats do not like change.   She’s lived in this house & neighborhood all her life... I raised her... she was born in this house... there are dangerous things in the desert... yeah there’s danger everywhere... but I just think she’d be happiest in her familiar surroundings... and the ex loves her too... 

Anyways....all I do is go around in circles making phone calls trying to get help...
It’s f@@@@@@ rediculous

Sometimes I just want to jump in my car & go... but then I think it will be worse....

Tomorrow I plan on sewing my curtains for privacy.... and washing the screen material I found in the basement to cut in shape of windows....

I’m going to go through the actions

I don’t know if I’m coming or going... haha

 

[vanbrat]

If she was born and raised there, you know she doesn't like change, then you know she would be better there then on the road. Shows you are a caring person.
But there are other cats that are still very young and might not mind the changes as they grow up with changing as they are young. Maybe you can find a sweety somewhere once you are out.
My cousin has one they found once they moved into their RV, but spend some time thinking about how that would work for you and your life after you get used to being out. Only person who can decide that is you. Good luck with all this stuff.