3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Commenting

[Gigi]

I was very moved by a thread about judgments today and thought I'd share this for anyone interested in bettering their communication-- it was helpful for me and I'm passing it on--- :heart:   

http://erinblaskie.com/3-questions-to-ask-yourself-before-adding-a-comment-to-a-conversation/



Deep peace to us all for a more gentle and loving way to interact,

Gigi

 

[GotSmart]

1.  Is it breaking forum rules?

There are times when I am in the middle of a post, and realize I got sucked into a troll hole.   (Is it true you are seeing a Psychiatrist for being abusive?)  This is so wrong on many levels, and will only lead to problems.  No fighting is Bob's basic unwritten rule.

2.  Will it help the conversation?  When several people agree with a post, it is not necessary to join the pack.  When you have a different perspective... be diplomatic.  (see #3) 

3.  Are you talking to a wall?  Sometimes a person will ask for opinions, but actually only wants to hear ones that agree with their viewpoint.   :huh:  This site has a few walls. You learn.   

The real fun comes in when you start a new post like this one.  

 

[willsway128]

i Enjoyed the article Gigi thank you

 

[Gary68]

according to that i should never make a post,all i got is useless really bad jokes and such,there's got to be some room for us with that special kinda stupid isn't there

 

[akrvbob]

according to that i should never make a post,all i got is useless really bad jokes and such,there's got to be some room for us with that special kinda stupid isn't there

Plenty of room! Just so long as they aren't unkind, or not easily taken as unkind.
Bob

 

[HarmonicaBruce]

Reminds me of the Wheatland festival.  Theres a rule you can't get angry, about anything.  Someone took down your tent and put their car there while you were taking a leak?  Happy Wheatland! 
And by the way, people on this forum weren't very kind to the guy who wanted to do a podcast about van living.

 

[nobodyG17]

Article was meh to me.

I try to be as nice as possible most of the time but a lot of people could use  a great big slap in the face from reality..  I'm honestly a bit sick of the  track most people are taking today where everyone has to be so very PC and care about everyone's "feels".   

This is the real world and it runs on big boy rules.

Edit:  When I was a kid we were taught "sticks and stones, blah blah blah".   We were taught to stand up for ourselves and to bullies.  

Now you are taught that you are a special snow flake and should be coddled.

 

[GotSmart]

And by the way, people on this forum weren't very kind to the guy who wanted to do a podcast about van living.

Call that the law of Vanma.  Kind of like Karma, But it runs over dogma.   :angel:  It takes everyone to play nice.     

At RTR there were a lot of people documenting it.  They were nice, polite, and extremely respectful of personal feelings.  

We missed you Bruce.  There was even a designated bath house set up for you. 

 

[Txjaybird]

Article was meh to me.

I try to be as nice as possible most of the time but a lot of people could use  a great big slap in the face from reality..  I'm honestly a bit sick of the  track most people are taking today where everyone has to be so very PC and care about everyone's "feels".   

This is the real world and it runs on big boy rules.

Edit:  When I was a kid we were taught "sticks and stones, blah blah blah".   We were taught to stand up for ourselves and to bullies.  

Now you are taught that you are a special snow flake and should be coddled.

well.........in my world  most folk including myself  are basically  "nice"  or  "jerks", with moments of crossover  and then there are just the jerks...bottom line.... pick one.

 

[nobodyG17]

well.........in my world  most folk including myself  are basically  "nice"  or  "jerks", with moments of crossover  and then there are just the jerks...bottom line.... pick one.

I live in a different world and refuse to pick one!

If the world were that black and white things would be so much easier.   How can you live life and see things that way?

 

[One Awesome Inch]

Being a jerk is a combination of selfishness and lazyness. Sometimes it takes effort to be nice when you dont really want to. Living in a kind world is what I want. Who wants to live in a world of toughguy macho self absorbed jerk-dudes? Not me. Give me the snowflake hippy kindness over that any day.

There is a guy at work who says he refuses to let others take his smile away from him.

That I admire.

 

[nobodyG17]

Being a jerk is a combination of selfishness and lazyness. Sometimes it takes effort to be nice when you dont really want to.  Living in a kind world is what I want. Who wants to live in a world of toughguy macho self absorbed jerk-dudes? Not me. Give me the snowflake hippy kindness over that any day.

There is a guy at work who says he refuses to let others take his smile away from him.

That I admire.

You are agreeing with me in most parts.  Attitude is everything in life.  The point I was making is that the world is full of all kinds of people.  Good, bad, evil, kind, awesome, shitty, etc.  If you walk around being taught everyone will always be nice and kind you are just waiting to be victimized or offended.  

If you walk around aware of the world and see it for what it is while not letting any of it get to you is what I try to achieve.  Granted i have a lot of work ahead of me and I'm sure it's a never ending struggle.

The part where you want to live in a kind world is great and all but it's just never going to happen.  Name a time in human history where there was not conflict or jerks.   Everyone should be taught from a young age this is true, shown what it means when out and about so that when they are introduced to it on their own they know how to deal with it.  It's part of being a well rounded, confident person.

I am told by many that I am one of the nicest people you could meet if you take the time to talk to me.  I will help anyone when I  can.  I also work in the hood at night and have had to use physical violence, threats of violence,  or just my quick wit to keep myself and others safe. 

Nothing in life is black or white.  Thinking so is short sighted.  Who is the most kind gentle person you know?  They have been a jerk at some point in life.  

I think this guy might know a thing or two about being kind.  

It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of nonviolence to cover impotence.
Mahatma Gandhi

I cannot teach you violence, as I do not myself believe in it. I can only teach you not to bow your heads before any one even at the cost of your life.

Mahatma Gandhi

 

[Wanderer]

We dive down people’s throats before we fully understand their intent.



Yup, had that happen recently...Won't make any more suggestions again, lesson learned...