WOMEN ONLY: Men Are Posting In This Forum?

[CoachOnTheRoad]

Before I get myself in trouble I wanted to double-check. 

Reading a thread today in Women's Only Forum called "After my failure I am trying again," I noticed a man had posted on the thread on 10/10/19. There is no question it's a man, he identifies as a man. The rules plainly state no men may post here. 

Am I missing something?  :huh:

I poked around to try to find out who to ask if this has been addressed, but I can't find a list of moderators or admins. I'm sure Bob and Suanne have their hands full so didn't want to start there.


Thanks, 
Mary Ellen T.

 

[WanderingRose]

There’s a button at the bottom lower right corner of every post, where you can report it for whatever reason.

 

[CoachOnTheRoad]

Ah I see that! Someone messaged me the admin list which is called "Our Team," and I messaged one of them.

Thanks for your help!

Mary Ellen

 

[Cammalu]

If you use tapatalk or only hit the button for latest posts it’s easy to miss which thread you are posting in. He might not even know.

It’s women only but open for everyone to read which seems weird to me.

 

[maki2]

What does the WRTR say about gender? Am I mistaken or don't they allow men who sexually identify themselves as women to participate?

 

[Stargazer]

It is very easy to overlook the Women Only Forum line in someone's thread title. It may have been just a simple mistake.

 

[Cammalu]

Maki I’m sure HOWA would be very liberal in their policies. I can’t imagine them discriminating.

Course I’m speculating again [emoji12]

 

[CoachOnTheRoad]

What does the WRTR say about gender? Am I mistaken or don't they allow men who sexually identify themselves as women to participate?

Hi there. This wasn't about a male identifying as a women, it was about a man who identified himself as male, posting on a Women's Only post. The WRTR is inclusive of any person identifying as the female gender. 

I've learned that there are some ways that a post can be viewed without it being obvious that it's from the Women's Only Forum. Learned something new!  

Mary Ellen T.

 

[CoachOnTheRoad]

So that bit of confusion is all straightened out. A moderator did get back to me. 

Also received a PM from someone who knows him, that the person posting had no malicious intent. Great to know! It's not my intention to hurt anyone's feelings.

Below is why I'm so sensitive to this, and why so many of us women are.

Last year around the time of the WRTR a man was caught online making a fake profile and passing as a female into the WRTR group on Facebook. It was disturbing, as he was camped just across the wash from us in Quartzsite. He'd made the mistake of having identifying pictures up with himself, and his very distinctive rig, before he changed his profile pic and ID to a female on Facebook. He didn't even create a different profile, just changed his current one. He had said something in another forum (posting as himself, as a male) about the "Women's LGBT" group, (confusing that with the WRTR) that had set off red flags with me, and I'd looked at his profile and took a screenshot. Within an hour he'd then changed his profile to female, and when I showed my partner Nancy she recognized him and his rig and said he's camped near us! The timing was uncanny. Moderators were contacted and he was booted from the Facebook group. But, he was still camped near us, and also posted from the RTR groups that he was there at the RTR, (after also posting some very derogatory opinions and misinformation about Bob.) So you just never know.

Nancy and I have had men repeatedly walk into our campsites without permission. It's not just solo women that have this problem. Today, a man walked through our campsite, between our two vans, for the third time since we've been here. The first two times we were both in our vans, and I just watched him as he slowly walked through, bending over to pick things off the ground in our campsite. Rock hunting? Today, I was outside, and as he approached to walk through again, I said, what's up? He started talking about how we had a good set up with our two vans in the campsite, and I said something like, yes and you're walking right through our site. He immediately got defensive, berating me by saying, you know someone can park 15 feet right from your bumper .... implying I shouldn't have any boundaries with people just walking through the campsite. He then dismissed me, walking away, saying, OK, another one. Another one what? Another woman who has boundaries with you??? He just took me off guard and I was pretty speechless. I should have said, it's proper etiquette to ask permission to enter someone's campsite. Period. I've been on the road two years now, and it's a common scenerio. Most of the time I don't say anything ... and THIS IS EXACTLY WHY. So now I know I've ticked someone off within walking distance of our campsite, and it's a very vulnerable feeling. 

So yep, I'm going to question if I see something that might be a boundary being violated. I don't want to hurt anyones feelings. In fact I just had a fantastic in person conversation with a another man about nomadism, single men and women, and what did I think was going on with all these single people on the road. He was genuinely curious about why so many relationships were breaking up, including his, but he was very respectful and not pushy. He struck up a conversation with me at the dumpsters, but not until I gave him a friendly hello and how are you. 

I don't know what the answer is. I just know I'm on guard and there are reasons why. 

Thanks for listening!

Mary Ellen T.

 

[jacqueg]

Exactly.

Plenty of men are not clueless about this stuff - they have wives, girlfriends, sisters, mothers, daughters, and understand what it's about.

The ones who act clueless are the ones who set off my alarm bells.

 

[GypsyJan]

I get spooked when strangers cut thru my campsite. A buddy once suggested I haul along a roll of construction fence, LOL. It would make me feel safer for sure. A stand-up comedian once said "Take 'em down to the soccer field to show 'em what boundries look like..."

 

[CoachOnTheRoad]

Exactly.

Plenty of men are not clueless about this stuff - they have wives, girlfriends, sisters, mothers, daughters, and understand what it's about.

The ones who act clueless are the ones who set off my alarm bells.

You know, that's a very good point. Thank you.

 

[CoachOnTheRoad]

I get spooked when strangers cut thru my campsite.  A buddy once suggested I haul along a roll of construction fence, LOL. It would make me feel safer for sure. A stand-up comedian once said "Take 'em down to the soccer field to show 'em what boundries look like..."

Right!? Now we've got another one just waltzing through our campsite in the morning!!! My partner asked him not to and his response was to call her a jerk and walk off giving her the finger!!!! What is going on!!!! 

Maybe we should rope it off ... but I'm sure the rangers would be called! I just had a conversation with my grown daughter about this and she didn't understand why we didn't call the ranger right off the bat. That's a good question. I'm not easily intimidated but I hesitate to escalate this! How messed up is THAT!!! I'm actually going to openly video the guy on my phone next time he walks through, I hope he starts something I can video... at least then I'm not the "hysterical female" calling the ranger.

 

[Cammalu]

Are you on BLM or do you have an actual campsite with boundaries at a park? I’m not sure there is anything you can do. Some people know nothing about campsite etiquette


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[WanderingRose]

Also my thought.

It is good manners to not cut thru others campsites, but I’ve never seen this be a rule anywhere.

Tho if the cutter is hostile and giving you the finger, that might warrant a call to the ranger.

Or, you could maybe change sites.

 

[GypsyJan]

Maybe you can rearrange your furniture so it would be an obstacle course to walk through. If it is not too windy, I open a beach umbrella to block the view and put chairs and tables in such a way that it's a bit of a maze. I have been tempted to yank a rope across as someone starts to trespass...but I think there are laws re decapitation, right?

If y'all have two vans and camp between them, I don't see why you can't rope off that space. Perhaps a short garden border would be acceptable yet give boundry markings. They can be stored stacked and the sections connected when setting up camp.

 

[maki2]

Put a realistic guard dog sized stuffed animal next to your trailer. Then position one of the proximity barking driveway type of alarms a little ways forward in the approach towards your trailer. You can then tell that person to stay back from your trailer. That alarm is also good night time security if someone comes prowling close to your campsite.

 

[travelaround]

I had this problem a couple of times since I've been in the RV park space I rented this month. First, there was a group of migrant workers in a cabin just behind where my van is, and they were walking through my space to get to the store across the street. That's understandable, but I was a bit upset about it.

Then a few days ago I was in my van idling the engine, getting ready to pull out, and I watched a down-and-out kind of guy cross the street from the store, and I was waiting for him to walk behind the fence before I pulled out... but he saw me watching him, and took offense, and turned around right before he got to the fence, and walked slowly right in front of my van giving me the evil-eye stare the whole time. That was pretty upsetting too. I want to leave this spot, and my month is up in 5 days, but I'm not sure where I'll go.

The RV park owner wants me to rent the cabin next to this spot, and then was saying I'll have to put my cargo trailer in storage. Um... no. That didn't sit well with me and I'm pretty sure that will include paying for that storage. Also wants me to work on her websites. I used to be a webdesigner and writer and could surely do her webwork... she wants me to do that to get a discount on all the rent she wants to charge me. I can already see this isn't working well for me.

I like the lady... and I'd even like to do her websites (for free even) as they are for a good cause... but am not liking the financial dealings and am starting to want to just drive into the hills and boondock like I did last July. This is my first vanlife RV park experience.

Edited to add: the problem with boondocking here right now is that it is getting cold and without the electricity hookup I'm going to be a very miserable person... the electricity and wifi here give me the opportunity to do this - sit in my warmed up cargo trailer and type on my computer and read this forum and even post something ... all this has been very difficult and lacking during the last few months, and I needed this... a place to be warm (electric heater) and just be able to read and write.

 

[WanderingRose]

You know, when it is cold enough that I need heat, I try to opt for electricity whenever possible.

So difficult to enjoy anything else when you just can’t get warm.

Maybe this campground owner would rent you a site more to your liking, for at least a reduced rate in exchange for the help with her website?

Negotiating something that would suit you better would get you on firmer footing down the road, letting her know you are not easily taken advantage of.

It would give you a spot to sit out the cold weather, a little work to occupy your time, then you can move on when and to where you wish.

One of the things we always need to watch out for it seems is people willing to spend our money to meet their purposes, like double renting you a cabin and a storage spot.

Good luck.