Where I'm at...

[anewbiewannabe]

People can heal what if they desire "enough?"

 

[DannyB1954]

People can heal what if they desire "enough?"

Their way of thinking. Selfishness, greed, envy deceit, just about any negative character defect. One has to be fed up being who they are to become somebody different. A spoiled child is not happy for long. Soon they want more. Some people never mature and as a consequence are not happy people.

 

[anewbiewannabe]

Okay. ^ That I can get behind. Though many can't be healed of those things because they don't see that there's anything wrong so they wouldn't have any desire. I can think of a Yuuge public example, but it would be political to say more. LOL

 

[michele0203]

I've always been interested in self improvement...probably to a fault. As I'm finding more balance in my life journey, I am more confident in who I am and what I want out of life. I find myself really energized by people who are also introspective and drained to varying degrees by those who are less so. It feels good to own that today without judgement.

 

[michele0203]

3 weeks from tomorrow will be my last day in my current position!!!! I'm so excited that I will have more time to focus on discovering and building the life that I want for myself!!!

 

[akrvbob]

Wonderful!!!!Such good news! Open your mind and heart to all new possibilities and keep the ones that make your heart sing!

 

[rvpopeye]

Nice Thanksgiving present to yourself!

 

[Queen]

So happy for you Michele. When I meet up with my former mental health coworkers, we all check in to see how the healing is going, it takes a while to "get right" after doing the job for a while.

 

[michele0203]

Wonderful!!!!Such good news! Open your mind and heart to all new possibilities and keep the ones that make your heart sing!

Thanks, Bob...great advice!!!!

 

[michele0203]

So happy for you Michele.  When I meet up with my former mental health coworkers, we all check in to see how the healing is going, it takes a while to "get right" after doing the job for a while.

Thanks,  Queen!  I appreciate you saying that as it's good to know that I am not alone!

 

[michele0203]

It's amazing how much my eyes have been opened just over the past few weeks...I am seeing things for what they are at my job...bottom line...it's a business. If we only spent a part of our time discussing how to improve our actual services as we do on bringing in the money I might be singing a different tune...but then I also likely wouldn't be completely turning my life upside down either!

No wonder I've been so unhappy...I've been forcing myself to conform to a belief system that I don't buy in to. And because I am also a consumer of these services, it really makes my blood boil!

I've begun to get ideas of how I can work on developing my own business in the van lifestyle. Practical and affordable ways to help others that I can feel really good about!

After I've reconnected with myself and find myself in a more grounded place I trust that more will be revealed...

 

[ArtW]

Now that's a swell idea, help for the folks you've been helping that's actually focussed on, y'know, helping them, not exploiting them

 

[Queen]

Michele - the "business" side whacked me upside the head two very distinct times. 1) when I finished my degree and got an $8000 raise overnight... doing the exact same job, but the degree let my agency bill at a MUCH higher rate. And 2) having to turn desperate people away from services because they had no money and we were out of the "subsidized slots". Miserable work, miserable environment, and the agencies prey on the fact that we care so deeply about our clients that we'll just stay and deal.

 

[jimindenver]

Michele

I am glad you are moving forward to a healthier state. I think the reason the breaks didn't help is because no matter how long, you know you have to go back to where you don't want to be. You can't truly release that energy until you know you are not going back. You can't really relax until there is never the thought that you go back there in a a month, a week, TOMORROW. Knowing that means you have to keep the mechanisms necessary to deal with that situation on line even if you are not actively dealing with it.

Like you my core knows I am not happy where I am AND that there isn't a chance I am going to be. The uncertainty of what's coming I know will pass as I get use to dealing with it just like a new job or house. It's worth it to have a shot of being happy. It's certainly better than knowing you will never be.

 

[michele0203]

Now that's a swell idea, help for the folks you've been helping that's actually focussed on, y'know, helping them, not exploiting them

YES! Exactly!   What a concept, right!?!

 

[michele0203]

 Miserable work, miserable environment, and the agencies prey on the fact that we care so deeply about our clients that we'll just stay and deal.

Yes!!!! That's exactly right!  They take advantage of those of us who really care and are not in it solely for the money. More of us need to get the courage to say enough is enough.  We deserve a fair pay.   I've done my time, I've gained my experience, and I'm moving on!

 

[michele0203]

Michele

I am glad you are moving forward to a healthier state. I think the reason the breaks didn't help is because no matter how long, you know you have to go back to where you don't want to be. You can't truly release that energy until you know you are not going back. You can't really relax until there is never the thought that you go back there in a a month, a week, TOMORROW. Knowing that means you have to keep the mechanisms necessary to deal with that situation on line even if you are not actively dealing with it.  

Like you my core knows I am not happy where I am AND that there isn't a chance I am going to be. The uncertainty of what's coming I know will pass as I get use to dealing with it just like a new job or house. It's worth it to have a shot of being happy. It's certainly better than knowing you will never be.

Yes, exactly right.  If I'm honest, I'm still experiencing dread that I'm going to be working 2 days per week, but it is the best financial decision as well as will help me adjust better than going from working at 100 to 0 overnight.

I'd love to hear more about your situation jimindenver

 

[michele0203]

So I'm staying on at work a little longer than I originally stated. As it turns out my cpap machine started having issues and I want to get this issue squared away before leaving. I'll sign up for COBRA, but ithe just made sense on a few fronts.

I'm also beginning to feel more overwhelmed with the thought of getting rid of my 'stuff'. I don't use 90% of what is on this apt often enough to be attached to it, but oddly enough that's where I'm finding myself. Then I think about all the lies I've bought into about what I need and I'm not a necessarily overly materialistic person...my toaster broke almost a year ago and I didn't replace it, just use my broiler for toast, haven't had cable or Internet in my apt for over 8 years, always shop at the bargain stores, etc.. .but I'm finding myself struggling with saying it can all go except for some clothing, toiletries, and utensils/camp gear and bring struck with the things I have bought into (literally and figuratively ) for example, I bought a kitchen table and bedroom set about 5 years ago because I thought that's what would make my apt feel more homey. I knew all along those things didn't make me happy....but what does? So much to learn about myself...I'm feeling a bit lost in my own skin. I'm sure this is normal and that I'll feel better once I unload more of my possessions...I'm going to reach out to some local non profit organizations to see if they want some of my items maybe all. ...trying to sell them seems such a chore

 

[rvpopeye]

That should work but be sure you're ready when you call cuz they'll probably take everything !

 

[michele0203]

Ha!!! Good point!