THIS IS THE GIRLS' ROOM!!! Downsizing is HARD! Immobilized!

[RV-Hopeful]

Ya'll, the entire forum in fact, are probably tired of my random and off the wall postings. (that is if anyone really pays attention- chuckle). One minute I'm rushing to figure out how to quickly convert my car to go help my brother, the next minute I'm facing new partials, dog medical bills, then suddenly I'm looking and trying to finance a $22K used 2006 class c or a 1985 class b with a questionable history! I'm as totally scattered as my posts ... like a flea at the dog park, jumping from one to the other.

Many people post that it's a "just do it" thing ... put your stuff in storage and just do it. If only it were that easy and I largely think they are male. Someone recently posted about over analysis of the process. X marks the spot in the middle of my forehead.

We've been given the go ahead by the landlord, I found an almost perfect used 29' class c (may be too big tho) ... what do I do, I rabbit and then spend 2 days in bed as this is how my body reacts to stress, it puts me down.  I hate my illness, that I'm not who I used to be!!!!!!!!!!! I used to yank from the toe nails to get it done, but now ... argh

Catch 22, I can't afford a class c or b until I not longer pay rent, I can no longer pay rent until I have a class c or b to live in.  Yea, I know I can live in my car ... reality, not going to happen.  If I didn't have a choice, I'd probably make it work, but I do have a choice and I don't see living in my car as a reality for my - too many aches, pains, 15 y/o dog ... nothing but excuses, nothing but excuses.

Well, I guess venting sorta helps but once a week therapy is supposed to take the place of me ranting here on the forum.  It doesn't accomplish anything, this rant ... but I'm going to post it anyway. Why? Not for a pity party ... just perhaps as a nod to those in the same position.

 

[ilovemyvan]

Simple suggestion. Buy your house on wheels (RV, Class B) and apply the money you would spend on rent towards paying the loan on your house. It requires discipline but it can be done, especially if you set up your loan to take the money automatically out of your account. Eventually it will be paid off and you will be living rent free.

As for your difficulties. I understand 100%, I'm bipolar. It is always so tempting to just shut everything off. Do what you can and be proud of it.

Take care :heart:

Nicole

 

[RV-Hopeful]

The work you did on your van humbles me. I don't know how you did it. Yea, if it was just me I'd do your suggestion, but I have a roommate and we are working at coordinating on timing of getting out of here ... she works full time long hrs, I'm disabled and find "all the possibilities" interfere with the logical process of step 1, 2, 3 

i'm just overwhelmed. thanks for your response ... and thanks goodness this too shall pass. I should probably stop posting here until I'm on an even keel.

 

[Queen]

I'm sure your therapist has already suggested it but mindfulness meditation can help a LOT. Just staying in the exact moment you're in, what can you do at this moment, not later today, or next week, or next month.

Best quote related to that (helps me all the time):

If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.
― Lao Tzu

 

[SoulRaven]

Being fairly new here, I haven't followed your posts, but really sharing one's thought processes is always helpful to someone else out there who is going through the same thing. Some day, someone will be reading this and you'll make them feel really good because they can say to themselves "I'm not the only one!" I am serious about that too. I have been there reading forum posts more than once. "OK, it's not just me."

Changing lifestyles is not easy at all. I have done it a few times over the last 40 years and it is never easy. I think most go through the being overwhelmed and you just have to step back for a bite. Trying to "launch" this time, you just have no idea the obstacles and they are still coming at me. I figure when it is meant to be, it will happen. I'm a "meant to be or not" kind of person.

If it makes you feel better to post, don't stop posting. Maybe some day you'll be reading through this then old thread only to realize how far you had come since those days!

 

[Cheli]

I am TOTALLY with you RV-Hopeful.  I feel completely scattered as well, and I am normally a very organized, get things done that need to get done kind of girl.  But with this I'm like do I want an rv or do I want a van?  Do I want a cargo van or a conversion van?  Will I live in the van and stay at my job for another six months and really rack up some savings or do I hit the road and figure out money as I go?  I go back and forth depending on the day.  lol

ilovemyman - that's a great option but not such a "simple suggestion" if one doesn't have the means to buy the house on wheels to begin with.  Great job on your van btw.

I went through a nasty divorce four years ago which ruined my credit.  I'm not sure I will be able to get a loan for a van and I don't have $10k to go pay cash for one.  I'm upside down on my current car loan, meaning I owe about $10k but couldn't only get about $6-8k for it.  So I have to add about $2k onto whatever loan I'd get if I could get approved for one.  If I can get a loan then it's no problem at all because I pay $1k rent plus a couple hundred in utilities so I could pay off my home fast once I stopped paying rent.

I agree with you RV-Hopeful, you can't get the van/rv while still paying rent but you can't get rid of the rent until you have something to stay in.  Ugggggh it's a viscous cycle.

Don't get discouraged.....everything always works out the way it's supposed to.

I am currently staying the course of selling all of my belongings, this takes a long time.  Then when everything is gone except my furniture, it's time to sell the furniture and buy a van.  I hope at that point my credit will be a little better and I'll have some money to put towards the van and still some to customize it.

If I could be on the road yesterday I would be so excited, but realistically I would like to be on the road by January 1st.  I'm so envious of those who are able to say just do it and then just do it.  It seems to me that there is a lot to get in order before being able to do it.

 

[ggwoman]

I am also trying to "just do it". It is a lot of work mentally, physically and emotionally as I sell my things, donate, trash 'em etc. I have 6 weeks left before the huge stress filled move across the Pacific ocean with three animals and no one to help on the other side. One of the sad side effects of getting older is that my longtime friends are now dead except for one. My family cannot help because of a variety of things (deploying to Germany, live so far away and unable to afford taking any time off) so I have felt pretty overwhelmed by it all. I get something done each day. The hardest part now is trying to figure out what in the heck to send ahead. Storage is NOT AN OPTION for me. As I am going to be on a pretty tight budget until March 2017, I do not want to re-buy what I already have if it is cheaper to ship. A whole lifetime of stuff to sort out. Well off to ship some more things away and take others to the dump. It is getting emptier by the day.
I too have tremendous anxiety at times, usually in the middle of the night and when I first wake up and see what is happening. I haven't taken such a big risk in so long and I'm sometimes wondering if I can do this after all? I'm no spring chick, but then it hits me - I HAVE to make this work! I have no choice now. I sure do miss my support system and feel all alone when the hugeness of this change hits me. You are NOT alone! LOL

 

[SoulRaven]

You're not alone! *hugs*

 

[gcal]

1. 29 ft is not too big if there are 2 of you. You each need your own spot to be where one can read while the other watches tv.

2. Figure out what a storage locker would cost for the time you intend to be in your rv. Is what you are inclined to store worth it?

3. Go thru your stuff. If you haven'the used it or worn it in a year, you aren't going to. Get rid of it.

4. Take photos of favorite art pieces. Then, scan the photos into your computer and toss the photos.

5. Load bare necessities, first. Be honest about how much storage space you have left. Be honest with yourself about what kind of person you are. Some people can live with clutter in order to have more stuff. Some people (like me) can't stand clutter and would rather get rid of stuff if it can't be put away.

6. Remember that you don't really need much to live well in an rv. Being cramped because you tried to keep too much is more damaging to rv life than having to buy a replacement for that rice steamer you thru out in error. When in doubt, throw it out.

7. Get the rv, get out of the apartment. Rent somebody's garage for 2 months and move all your stuff into it. Actually having to pack all that stuff once to the garage, with the specter hanging over you of having to pack it up and move anything you are not taking with you all over again to storage locker, will substantially adjust your attitude towards your stuff.

 

[Txjaybird]

I find it very hard to get rid of stuff right now.  I think one of the reasons is that my sell out & move 1,000mi. in 2005 was my last time I'm ever gonna move......2007=800mi move another last time move...and so was the 2010 600mi  move   I am just worn out getting rid of really nice things to move.   From a large 3 room apt to a small van or trailer makes my brain hurt thinking about it.  Most days just keeping up with regular household chores is all I can handle....I also have 2 10X20 storage units that I share with my sister that needs to be sorted and sold.

I recently was told I can't get credit because the only thing on my credit report is $50,000 OF STUDENT LOANS PAID IN FULL......I thought that by not buying a lot of stuff on credit when I needed a loan I would not have any problem...Not the first time my thinking has got me in trouble     

I decided a few months back that I would no longer be bi-polar....I just went ahead and jumped to tri-polar....it's working real good for me as the list of people that constantly try to  wind me up just to see me get P.O.d  have learned that is not a good thing to do....for them....so they either leave me alone or approach with caution        good for all concerned...If that doesn't work I'll sick my attack chihuahua on'em!            That'll learn'em!!!         Jewellann

 

[ilovemyvan]

Yea, if it was just me I'd do your suggestion, but I have a roommate and we are working at coordinating on timing of getting out of here ... she works full time long hrs, I'm disabled and find "all the possibilities" interfere with the logical process of step 1, 2, 3 

i'm just overwhelmed. thanks for your response ... and thanks goodness this too shall pass. I should probably stop posting here until I'm on an even keel.

I didn't realize your roommate was going with you. What's her preference, Class C or B? Will you do a lot of traveling or will you stay in the same area? Will she quit her job? Is her heart as much into it as yours is?

Did you try making a list? A few months back an other lady here was overwhelmed to a stand still. She didn't know where to start, the anxiety level was too much, she couldn't think or act. Someone suggested making a list of what needed to be done, in what order they should be done and approximated target dates for each item. She tried it and it worked for her. Sometime it's easier to sort things out on paper instead of juggling it in our mind.

Pros and cons lists are also a good tool to help making a decision.

Ok, you can make fun of me all you want for the following but here it goes. Toss a coin. I do that when I'm going back and forth on a decision. Here's how it works. Let say that head is a class C and tail is a class B. The trick is to pay close attention to your reaction after the coin is tossed and you first see if it's head or tail. So let say that head comes up, if your reaction is "bummer" you now know what you really, really wanted was a class B, or if you're very happy with the result you now know that a class C is what appeals to you the most. You see, that very first reaction is telling a lot. It brings to the surface what was buried under a pile of confusion. Try it, I hope it helps you as much as it helps me.

You said: I should probably stop posting here until I'm on an even keel.
I say: Don't you dare, we're your sounding board at the moment, just like you will be for someone else some other times.

Nicole

 

[Cheli]

You said: I should probably stop posting here until I'm on an even keel.
I say: Don't you dare, we're your sounding board at the moment, just like you will be for someone else some other times.

Nicole

Couldn't have said it better!!!

 

[Cheli]

I recently was told I can't get credit because the only thing on my credit report is $50,000 OF STUDENT LOANS PAID IN FULL......I thought that by not buying a lot of stuff on credit when I needed a loan I would not have any problem...Not the first time my thinking has got me in trouble     

Gotta love that huh? If you're not one to live crazy in debt you aren't allowed to take out a loan. Blows my mind. Ok so I'm responsible and don't have credit cards stacked up but I need help with a loan and I can't get one? I had the same thing happen to me two years ago.

I decided a few months back that I would no longer be bi-polar....I just went ahead and jumped to tri-polar....it's working real good for me as the list of people that constantly try to wind me up just to see me get P.O.d have learned that is not a good thing to do....for them....so they either leave me alone or approach with caution good for all concerned...If that doesn't work I'll sick my attack chihuahua on'em! That'll learn'em!!! Jewellann

Great plan. hahaha

 

[RV-Hopeful]

Tjaybird! Hey there ... yea, you know it's not the STUFF like clothes, or pots and pans - hell, I've been wearing the same jeans for most of the year, wash and wear, wash and wear and the same 3 sweatshirts during the winter! ... it's the old antique picture frame that was my grandmother's, the wooden rockin' horse I built from a kit when my 1st born was just toddling around (he's passed on now). There are just some things that I won't let go of yet that need passing on to my remaining son, and then there are some things I can get money for if I'm patient and sell them. eBay is slow but better than a garage sale, but it may come to garage sale to move it all out.

But from time to time the timing of life and events and the "right" vehicle coming just don't meld and then POOF you are overwhelmed with what to do next. The wall the cliff the black gaping whole ... then the sky is blue again and you can move on. It's good there's a place like "The Girls Room" to vent as I don't really think most men would get it.

Hugs

PS - I love the tri-polar thing! Perhaps it's just that you don't take $hit from people. I have limited amount of patience for people that don't get the job done. Just recently, I fired my affordable dentist and made a big stink about it all and got my money back. Of course, I'm still without my upper back teeth, but darn it felt good to tell him how the cow ate the cabbage and what to do with it all!

 

[Queen]

but darn it felt good to tell him how the cow ate the cabbage and what to do with it all!

I have never heard that phrase, totally cracked me up, thanks for the laugh!!

 

[Yogidog]

Ya'll, the entire forum in fact, are probably tired of my random and off the wall postings. (that is if anyone really pays attention- chuckle).

They have never seemed off the wall to me in the slightest bit, I always appreciated your posts, like this one.

One minute I'm rushing to figure out how to quickly convert my car to go help my brother, the next minute I'm facing new partials, dog medical bills, then suddenly I'm looking and trying to finance a $22K used 2006 class c or a 1985 class b with a questionable history! I'm as totally scattered as my posts ... like a flea at the dog park, jumping from one to the other.

Many people post that it's a "just do it" thing ... put your stuff in storage and just do it. If only it were that easy and I largely think they are male. Someone recently posted about over analysis of the process. X marks the spot in the middle of my forehead.

We've been given the go ahead by the landlord, I found an almost perfect used 29' class c (may be too big tho) ... what do I do, I rabbit and then spend 2 days in bed as this is how my body reacts to stress, it puts me down.  I hate my illness, that I'm not who I used to be!!!!!!!!!!! I used to yank from the toe nails to get it done, but now ... argh

Catch 22, I can't afford a class c or b until I not longer pay rent, I can no longer pay rent until I have a class c or b to live in.  Yea, I know I can live in my car ... reality, not going to happen.  If I didn't have a choice, I'd probably make it work, but I do have a choice and I don't see living in my car as a reality for my - too many aches, pains, 15 y/o dog ... nothing but excuses, nothing but excuses.

i don't see these as excuses

Well, I guess venting sorta helps but once a week therapy is supposed to take the place of me ranting here on the forum.  It doesn't accomplish anything, this rant ... but I'm going to post it anyway. Why? Not for a pity party ... just perhaps as a nod to those in the same position.

thanks for nodding to me! I think processing this stuff is essential. 

awesome topic! thank you for the honest discussion.

Limited time now, will be back,

peace!

 

[RV-Hopeful]

I have never heard that phrase, totally cracked me up, thanks for the laugh!!

Hey Queen ... that was a favorite saying of my grandpa ... always made me laugh too!

 

[RV-Hopeful]

I didn't realize your roommate was going with you. What's her preference, Class C or B? Will you do a lot of traveling or will you stay in the same area? Will she quit her job? Is her heart as much into it as yours is?

No, no roommate not going with me.  My aunt and I have been sharing living expenses for about 10 years now. I've been yearning to see my son in Florida and my brothers/sisters spread across the usa ... can't afford to fly everywhere hence the rv traveling thought. Then my aunt gets engage!  Woo Hoo at 72! Yea ... rock on auntie!! So that frees me up quicker and that's how the overwhelm happened (in a small nutshell). First had 1.5 yrs to go through the stuff now, self accelerated the time frame ... just me and my old dog ... that's all that's going anywhere.

 

[Queen]

Hey Queen ... that was a favorite saying of my grandpa ... always made me laugh too!

I find myself, more and more, using my grandmothers old phrases, my young coworkers look at me like I've lost my mind! 

 

[Yogidog]

Getting on the road is one of the most stressful things I have ever encountered!  The vehicle decision alone is so nerve wracking especially when it takes all the money we have and if it breaks down we have consequences.

First time I just went with no prep, didn't know these forums existed. In a way it was so much easier, I instantly got the benefits of traveling, while enduring the stress. Just kept giving things away as I went along, only kept the sentimental things.

Siting at home thinking, deciding, questioning, pondering the past, unsure of the future, taking a risk a lot of people would not consciously make, yeeks!  Then there is often going against the grain of what society thinks, which makes it easy to the question decision. The what ifs are endless! And this is after three years of being on the road and knowing I love it.

Getting back in the swing of this is no picnic all the time either. I do use it as spirtual development opportunities sitting in the back of my truck yesterday, with pouring rain, 40 degrees I was doing gratitudes, breathing deeply, trying to align with nature. Better than panicking, feeling claustrophobic, and driving around : 
]Ihave found stress level is very related to if I am in remote area camping, almost no stress,  feel good chemicals rising working in town, stealth ing around, not so much. But I am building the emergency fund. And if money is ok.

Routines are super obvious when we travel, If I were to offer any help in this conversation it would be, while preparing to leave try to strengthen any coping, centering routines that work for u, any practices that bring a sense of confidence and peace, so u automatically turn to them under stress of beginning to travel . 

Making a list of what I want and then prioritizing helps make decisions, especially vehicle decisions.

I have developed a support system on the Internet, mindfulness group with weekly homework, low carb group, Buddhist psychology group and of course here!  

Of course I think I benefits outweigh the negatives, that is why I am going out again, but glad to see a realistic conversation about this, it is easy to glamorize this way of life, and life is never a breeze for anyone, has ups and downs no matter what.

Great to see more women posting lately! We are brave souls 

Wishing us all good fortune in our journeys