THIS IS THE GIRLS' ROOM!!! Downsizing is HARD! Immobilized!

[Txjaybird]

Tjaybird! Hey there ... yea, you know it's not the STUFF like clothes, or pots and pans - hell, I've been wearing the same jeans for most of the year, wash and wear, wash and wear and the same 3 sweatshirts during the winter! ... it's the old antique picture frame that was my grandmother's, the wooden rockin' horse I built from a kit when my 1st born was just toddling around (he's passed on now). There are just some things that I won't let go of yet that need passing on to my remaining son, and then there are some things I can get money for if I'm patient and sell them. eBay is slow but better than a garage sale, but it may come to garage sale to move it all out.

But from time to time the timing of life and events and the "right" vehicle coming just don't meld and then POOF you are overwhelmed with what to do next. The wall the cliff the black gaping whole ... then the sky is blue again and you can move on. It's good there's a place like "The Girls Room" to vent as I don't really think most men would get it.

Hugs

PS - I love the tri-polar thing! Perhaps it's just that you don't take $hit from people.  I have limited amount of patience for people that don't get the job done. Just recently, I fired my affordable dentist and made a big stink about it all and got my money back. Of course, I'm still without my upper back teeth, but darn it felt good to tell him how the cow ate the cabbage and what to do with it all!

I can't believe you said "how the cow ate the cabbage" I grew up with that saying and use it often......I bet you know what "don't buy a pig in a poke sack" means too! 

There are things in life that are to precious to part with until the time is right and only we can decide when that is.     I passed on keepsakes  to family and later regretted it......seems they were only "Keepsakes" to me.   Such is life, I guess.


You are right...pots pans dishes etc. are EZ to sort...not so much pots...I still haven't wrapped my mind around not having a fully equipped kitchen...I have been in kitchens since I was 4ys or younger and supported myself and son cooking for many years, and he cooks , and some of his kids cook too...I believe scratch cooking is a lost art form so I have tried to pass it on where ever & when ever I can.

I hope your brother  and yourself  are doing O.K. or as best as you can.   I know you tried your best to go help him.   Here is something I find myself saying often   "Life Sucks....And Then You DIE"   That's for really bad D.F.W.M. days   

Hang In There                   One of my favorite movie lines is from "OH BROTHER WHERE ART THOU"  a little boy drives a truck thru a barn and states he is   "going to R.U.N.N. O.F.T."  my feelings exactly!


                                        Jewellann AND  Queenie the wonder dog

 

[gcal]

Getting on the road is one of the most stressful things I have ever encountered!  The vehicle decision alone is so nerve wracking especially when it takes all the money we have and if it breaks down we have consequences.

First time I just went with no prep, didn't know these forums existed. In a way it was so much easier, I instantly got the benefits of traveling, while enduring the stress. Just kept giving things away as I went along, only kept the sentimental things.

Siting at home thinking, deciding, questioning, pondering the past, unsure of the future, taking a risk a lot of people would not consciously make, yeeks!  Then there is often going against the grain of what society thinks, which makes it easy to the question decision. The what ifs are endless! And this is after three years of being on the road and knowing I love it.

Getting back in the swing of this is no picnic all the time either. I do use it as spirtual development opportunities sitting in the back of my truck yesterday, with pouring rain, 40 degrees I was doing gratitudes, breathing deeply, trying to align with nature. Better than panicking, feeling claustrophobic, and driving around : 
]Ihave found stress level is very related to if I am in remote area camping, almost no stress,  feel good chemicals rising working in town, stealth ing around, not so much. But I am building the emergency fund. And if money is ok.

Routines are super obvious when we travel, If I were to offer any help in this conversation it would be, while preparing to leave try to strengthen any coping, centering routines that work for u, any practices that bring a sense of confidence and peace, so u automatically turn to them under stress of beginning to travel . 

Making a list of what I want and then prioritizing helps make decisions, especially vehicle decisions.

I have developed a support system on the Internet, mindfulness group with weekly homework, low carb group, Buddhist psychology group and of course here!  

Of course I think I benefits outweigh the negatives, that is why I am going out again, but glad to see a realistic conversation about this, it is easy to glamorize this way of life, and life is never a breeze for anyone, has ups and downs no matter what.

Great to see more women posting lately! We are brave souls 

Wishing us all good fortune in our journeys

I actually found hitting the road the second time to be much easier than the first time. My attitude towards "stuff" had changed. I realized that almost none of the furniture and other household goods we had accumulated in the midwest would have suited our lives and tastes almost 5 years later when we settled in Florida. When we left Florida to fulltime in the rv 20 years later, it was a given that that same thing would happen with the household goods we had collected there. It was easy to let things go. There would be no problem replacing it. Stuff is just stuff.

 

[ilovemyvan]

Hey RV-Hopeful.

We kind of hi-jacked your thread didn't we? This one feels a bit like a get together around a campfire where everything flows nicely. However I'd like to know how you're doing? Did you go last Friday to see the Class B? What part of the country do you live in? When will your aunt get married? Do you need to leave then? Will your aunt have a little bit of storage room for you to keep some precious stuff once she's married? How big would the pile of things your absolutely can not part from be? Can some of it be photograph and carried with you that way?

Tell us what's going on. I want to make sure you're Ok.

Nicole

 

[RV-Hopeful]

Hey RV-Hopeful.

We kind of hi-jacked your thread didn't we? This one feels a bit like a get together around a campfire where everything flows nicely. However I'd like to know how you're doing? Did you go last Friday to see the Class B? What part of the country do you live in? When will your aunt get married? Do you need to leave then? Will your aunt have a little bit of storage room for you to keep some precious stuff once she's married? How big would the pile of things your absolutely can not part from be? Can some of it be photograph and carried with you that way?

Tell us what's going on. I want to make sure you're Ok.

Nicole

Hey there ilovemyvan ... oh yeah, I'm fine.  With so many topics, it's hard to have a cohesive history going, so to catch you up... chuckle. I did go see the class b ... but not until yesterday.  Just too small for me I think.  I'm a tad claustrophobic, just a little and I don't see that working for me.  If I were capable/had the finances/younger/etc I'd do a build, but I honestly at this point in my life want a complete package so no build for me.

I have my eye (noted in some other thread somewhere) on a 2006 29' class c, but am waiting to hear from the bank. Problem is that I can't afford the loan on the RV while paying rent. I believe this was where I started this topic ... with the downsizing, the timing of everything.  The sellers are very nice, willing to let the rv sit at their place until I'm ready, but everything needs to flow like clockwork in order to be out of the rental situation and into the rv payment situation since they can not coexist on what I make.

Yea, just do it ... that's what so many say ... they must have had more energy, time, money, drive, whatever than I do. It's not a just do it. Someone suggested I move into someone's garage .. no, not gona happen, it's not a desperate situation that needs radical solutions.  I was in a stressful moment, thought I'd share it here in the girls rooms as I'm of the opinion most guys CAN really just up and go whereas women, mmm, not so much ... 

While I want to downsize I want to get the maximum amount from the items I'm selling but will eventurally end up garage selling reminder as time winds down, mail old photo's to family members (I ended up with all the things that my mother saved from out childhood-shcool day drawings/stories/etc) scan some pix to email ... yada yada yada ... all this however, if I put stuff in storage I can do while I get settled in my wheeled home. 

I don't know that my aunt will actually get married per se ... the ring for them is a symbol of their being "engaged" in relationship rather than the typical engagement - as in fully engaged with each other. 

I think I've mentioned that my aunt and I have shared space for about 10 years now, living in nicer houses sharing the expenses.  However, I've really longed for alone time while my aunt never really wanted to live by herself, so I acquiesced and boom, 10 years has passed. 

When my oldest son passed 3 years ago and I realized once again, that I only travel from NM when someone dies because someone else usually pays for the airfare ... so I decided traveling home would be my future. I'm not old, but am 63 living on SSD with health issues.  I have limited time to do this, with macular degeneration in my right eye, at some point I may not be able to see to drive - so now's the time.

The "pile" isn't that much for me personally, but I believe there are things my remaining son would like and I'll tow a trailer to Florida when the time is right.  It's not about not wanting to be parted from the "stuff" (I keep saying that, chuckle) ... it's about timing and just being overwhelmed.

I'm fine, stressed ... ups/downs like a geiger (how do you spell that anyway?) counter, but fine.  Along with all this there are "family" problems that weigh on me and I'm sorta the go to right now for 1 brother and 1 sister. There were 10 kids in the family, some have passed along with mom and dad, so you know, it's just life.

Nice to have this forum to spit spew and air it all out! Ha!! Chuckle.  Thanks so much for checking on me! It warms my heart ...  :heart: plus i've received some really good info - this is a big post! gosh ...

 

[ilovemyvan]

I'll keep my fingers crossed.

 

[Bast]

I am trying to do this in two stages. This summer I am going to do a major purge and reorganizing. Then when I get closer to being on the road I will do another hopefully less stressful purge.
Bast

 

[Cheli]

Hey Cheli, I thought is was all sorta cohesive but what do I know 

I did too, it all seemed relevant to me but they split it so apparently not.  hahaha

But you got this!  It will work out for all of us wishing to make this life change.  We just need to keep doing what we gotta do to get it done.  Unfortunately, I can't do it as quickly or as easily as others but I'll get there.  If I had to do it out of necessity maybe that would be different, but I'm doing it out of choice so I have time to get it all done.

That being said, I wish I was on the road yesterday.  hahaha

 

[RV-Hopeful]

Yep Cheli what you said! ... you know the old saying ... one step at a time ... however trite that may be it's true ... all we can do is put one foot in front of the other and at some point we'll get there! I'm so glad I have met you here as we both seem to be in the same stages of this wondrous transition!

 

[RV-Hopeful]

Me either, but for me it's been a big part of "downsizing" my obligations and feeling free.

well said ggwoman - downsizing effects all areas of your life, not just the "stuff" ...

 

[gcal]

Yep Cheli what you said! ... you know the old saying ... one step at a time ... however trite that may be it's true ... all we can do if one foot in front of the other and at some point we'll get there!  I'm so glad I have met you here as we both seem to be in the same stages of this wondrous transition!

One step at a time sounds good, but don't dither. If you go too slowly,  you will find yourself bringing in more stuff as you open space by clearing out the old. Then, you will be right back where you are, now, and just as frustrated.

 

[RV-Hopeful]

There are things in life that are to precious to part with until the time is right and only we can decide when that is.     I passed on keepsakes  to family and later regretted it......seems they were only "Keepsakes" to me.   Such is life, I guess.

Yea, that's the problem with keepsakes ... sometimes they ARE only important to the one holding on to it. Chuckle. I did ask my son about a few things, but with his ever changing life (good, bad and the ugly) who knows. It'll all work out.

Oh yes, pig in a poke ... colder than a well diggers belt buckle ... my grandpa work on oil rigs back in the day, he was a funny hard man, but had the funniest of sayings AND my great-grandparents were something else too! as I expect most were just given what they'd lived through ... Lordy Lordy ...

 

[RV-Hopeful]

One step at a time sounds good, but don't dither. If you go too slowly,  you will find yourself bringing in more stuff as you open space by clearing out the old. Then, you will be right back where you are, now, and just as frustrated.

now that can be true, fortunately i don't have the money to buy unnecessary things! chuckle.

 

[Cheli]

I'm so glad I have met you here as we both seem to be in the same stages of this wondrous transition!

Me too chickie!  It's so nice to have someone in the same stage and situation on this journey.  We are going to be living amazing lives of freedom and adventure before we know it.  hahaha  And hopefully some day run into each other and at the very least have a coffee over a beautiful view somewhere. 

 

[Cheli]

One step at a time sounds good, but don't dither. If you go too slowly,  you will find yourself bringing in more stuff as you open space by clearing out the old. Then, you will be right back where you are, now, and just as frustrated.

Good point.  I'm taking one step at a time but trying to get through them as fast as I can.  hahaha  It just seems to be a lot to coordinate to get it done but I know it will be worth it.