Turning an A/B switch with the engine running is OK
IF.... the switch is a make before break. Most are.
AND, as long as the switch is not turned to OFF with the engine running.
Most switches are make before break, meaning when switching from battery 1 to both or from Both to battery 2 it makes contact with the next battery during the change before losing contact with the previous setting.
Turning the switch to OFF with the engine running can indeed fry the alternator, and perhaps some vehicle electronics too as removing the battery means removing a portion of the load from the alternator and voltage spikes during this event can be extreme, and more so if the battery was depleted and sucking a lot of juice from the alternator when the load (depleted battery) was removed.
As mentioned some manual AB/Both switches come with an alternator field disconnect. This feature can only work on alternators that are externally regulated, as many makes of vehicles have the voltage regulator inside the alternator.
One of the two field disconnect wires coming from the voltage regulator must run to the smaller contacts within the switch. When this is done and the switch turned to off the alternator will also be told to make No juice. But this is no guarantee that the engine will stay running nor that something else will not release the magic blue smoke.
I've been using AB/Both switches since 2001, and turn the switch every day with the engine running. I just make sure to not switch it to OFF with the engine running.
Also switching it to OFF with the engine not running erases the engine computer memory, and it runs crusty for a few miles while the computer relearns the engine.
Any secondary battery system is going to require that the loads, lighting, ciggy plugs, ect, be required to take power from the second battery to be effective. Some conversion vans will just have a fuse block for most of the rear lighting, and sofa bed, TV/VCR, and one can just move this fuse block wire to the house battery, fused again at the house battery, but the stereo and dome lights will still draw from the main engine battery, so their use can still deplete the engine battery. I left my dome lights(LED) on the engine battery, but the stereo is wired directly to the house battery.
A?B switches do require the operator to remember to combine with the engine running to charge, and separate after engine shut down, and this might not be a wise Idea in this day and age where people expect everything to read their minds intent. No, there is No App for that.
A/B/Both switches are just one of many methods to allow battery isolation while stopped and the alternator to feed both batteries when driving.