newly widow, confused, frustrated and alone

[BarbaraMeddings]

My late husband and i have a 1989 Winnebago chieftain 32' gas with a 454 Chevy engine.  I have a Chihuahua named Georgia and am looking for homes for 3 of her female puppies. So, i killed my husband on my 57th birthday(10/6/18) and am having to learn how to fend for my self. my husband was an elevator mechanic until he became disabled about 5yrs ago. we perched the rig used in FL.for about $9K, it was stored undercover and there was a stack of repair and machinate receipts, and the inside look great. Needless to say the work was payed for but not really done, So for the last 5yrs we have spent a lot of time and holidays at different repair shops across this wonderful country, finally found an outstanding shop in Thomasville GA fixed our engine problems and all we had left to do was the inside. my husband died suddenly and left me with a half fixed rig and no income, i have solar on top and deep cycle batteries but have NO IDEA of how to use it or check if it is even still hooked up, The rig is old and needs work which is what he was going to do, unfortunately he died before he did to much of anything, . I am alone, confused and a bit broken. I am trying to do it on my own any help would be appreciated.


I hope that i can find someone that can help me understand and set up my solar unit. if there is anyone in the area that may be able to come by and lend me a hand/advice i will make you dinner and offer you a nice hot shower. 
Thanks in advance. the meandering widow

 

[cyndi]

Welcome to the CRVL forums, Barbara. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope we can find some help for you and make this journey a little easier on you.

To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips, Tricks and Rules" post lists some helpful information to get you started. We look forward to hearing more from you.

 

[BarbaraMeddings]

Thank Cyndi
i got excited that some one already responded, however, all 3 were from you. not that i did not appreciate your response. I have done all you suggested before i posted. This is a tricky web sight to navigate, but i am doing my best. i hope to be a member of high standing for many years to come.

 

[cyndi]

Forum glitch. Sorry about that.

Are you on Facebook? There are a couple groups on FB that might be useful. I'd try here first. CRVL is a little more personal.

 

[BarbaraMeddings]

yes i am on FB. and no worries about the glich, LOL i was just messin with you 

 

[XERTYX]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss as well.

It sounds like you have a pretty good start on your rig. It runs and drives and may or may not have the right solar setup already in place. It sounds like you're accustomed to traveling in it already but you may have never done so alone. https://freecampsites.net is a good resource that was recommended to me on here to find places to camp in georgia. Once you get everything squared away that needs squaring away it might be a good idea to take it on the road just a short ways away and see how you feel about camping solo. You can do it I'm sure.

 

[BarbaraMeddings]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss as well.

Thank you, yes my husband and i lived in it the 5+ yrs, this last year I/we have been living in my cousins  house in South TX. He killed himself 13/5/17 and i was the executor of his will, we were going to buy the house (only $35K) so we had a home base and for other family and friend to use  when in the area. (digital locks), however, that is not what happened. I am now sitting here waiting for the courts to let me sell the house (already have a buyer) so that I can fufill my obligations as executor and leave.
yes i have done this, and i know i can do it, just not sure i can do this big of a rig by my self. MY husband was 6' tall and on the slim side, me, not so much on the slim side and only 5' tall. Bob, my husband was also very smart. He was an elevator mechanic, which means that he was able to do anything involved in the installation and maintenance of an elevator, i.e.: cabinetry, electrical, electronics, plumbing etc. he was fixing her up so we could go on the road in style and comfort. I took care of the finance and health and food stuff. I have no problem boondocking at Walmart or any other place. I do not feel that i know enough about the rig to rest in comfort unless i am plugged in to shore power. It is so frustrating, to know that i have stuff but don’t know how to use it, I seem to be too ignorant to understand written instructions. I just want to crawl under the covers and sleep. Okay, that is enough of that. thanks for allowing me to rant. God's blessings on y'all.

 

[WanderingRose]

If you don’t feel you have the skills to do it all, do what you can and accept that you can and will learn the rest as you go.

I am sorry for your loss, and want you to know that I also lost my husband suddenly, and 900 miles from home, 5 years ago.

I’m here to tell you that you can learn what you need to know, and get help to do the things you can’t.

Chin up, deep breaths, one step at a time.

Good luck to you.

 

[becida]

Knowing where the RV is would be a big help.

 

[BarbaraMeddings]

i am in south Texas Edinburg about an hour and a half west from SPI south padre island sitting in the driveway.

 

[becida]

That's a help! 

I won't be any where near Texas this year but maybe someone is, Padre Island is a popular place.

 

[XERTYX]

I'm only about 3k miles from TX. But dont despair. I'm not the man with the megaphone but I know some things. I'll help when and where I can. There are others here that have more answers and might be closer to you geographically. Keep posting. This is a great resource.

 

[user 2252]

Ok, it's time to stop crying.
Your life has changed, it's sink or swim. Time won't wait for you. Take this opportunity to make it real.....for you.

 

[Paintedlady]

Hi Barbara. Sorry for the wall of text. You sound scared and lonely with this huge amount of not only responsibilities, but loads of info, to wade through and digest, along with your grieving. And rightly so. For me, that would mean one thing: paralysis. I'm special that way. Some question(s) if you don't mind:, Do you want to live the RV lifestyle still? Do you want to live? Who is helping you? There's nothing wrong with having someone make some decisions for right now---it can be nearly impossible to think clearly while grieving, especially when dealing with a violent death. A counselor can help you deal with the confusion, anger, etc. of grief and put the fear of your future into perspective. They'll be able to offer support group resources, as well. Also---can you afford to hire an assistant right now? You are in desperate need of companionship and organizing your life and belongings, large and small. If not, will your insurance cover a therapist that is a life coach? Most insurance will cover you seeing 2 different therapists as long as it's not in the same week. Can I assume you have family and friends you can lean on? I firmly believe the way out is through others. Connect. Can you force yourself out of bed? That same amount of energy you use to throw back the covers and stand up can be used to connect with others.
Barbara, up until a few months ago, my idea of the future was to live until I couldn't afford it and then off myself. I know. Sounds harsh. My finances are in such dire straits. I was literally just waiting to die and only kept on living because of loved ones. And then I found Bob's youtube channel. And I thought, yeah, I might be able to do vandwelling, but he's a guy and knows all of that plumbing, electrical, construction stuff. I couldn't do that. And then I found Carolyn's RV life on youtube and wondered, well maybe I could do RVing, but she's a hardcore camper, I'm not like that..... and THEN Bob's channel led me to Robin at Creativity RV. She didn't like camping that much, either. Like me, she was artistic, and younger. And she laid out how she went about planning, and learning, and she shared it. And I started thinking, well maybe I can do that. And all of those women they interview. If they can do it, I can do it, right? And I started feeling a teensy bit hopeful. We can connect with folks and not be isolated. Bob started talking about the caravans and some are all women. I plan on joining up them one day. They seem so accepting. And now I have hope. And I wish this for you.

 

[AndresBonifacio]

Hi Barbara,

Welcome to the forum and also sorry about your loss.

I just have a question.
What did you mean when you wrote on April 30th:   "So, i killed my husband on my 57th birthday(10/6/18)"
Then the other day, May 1st,  you wrote:  "He killed himself 13/5/17"
Thank you for your time.

 

[WanderingRose]

There seem to have been several posts deleted, but the OP earlier clarified that she had removed her husband from life support.

 

[RoamerRV428]

maybe this rig isn't for you

I know this was a shared dream this rig.

you might want to consider a smaller rig. sell this one and get what YOU WANT for yourself. You aren't chained to this rig truly.

SO THINK hard about what you can handle, want to handle, need for comfort etc. This is NOW ABOUT YOU and not about an older dream and older rig.

just saying

Sounds like you are trying to move forward in good fashion. Key is take time. Take the time to sit down, evaluate what YOU truly want, how you want to live and explore and chill out for a bit. No rush on anything truly if you think about it

best of luck moving forward

 

[cyndi]

There seem to have been several posts deleted

I checked the trashcan where deleted posts go. Nothing has been deleted

 

[WanderingRose]

Hmmm.

I distinctly remember reading that she had taken her husband off life support, was joking by saying she had killed him, and it was in response to at least one specific question from another poster as to what she had meant.

I could be mistaken, but I don’t think so.

On edit: in a duplicate thread? https://vanlivingforum.com/showthread.php?tid=36371&pid=446665#pid446665

 

[abnorm]

^^^^^^Andres/2post/supermoderator WELCOME to the Forum...…...ya gotta read.....she said:

""...….I/we have been living in my cousins house in South TX. He killed himself 13/5/17 and i was the executor of his will,......""



^^^^^^^WanderingRose…………..YES and Wabbit and HDR asked and deleted that question in the WOMENS ONLY



I'm Sorry for your loss Barbara...Hospice left me with the feeling/ knowing I "killed" my wife......Healing comes with Time and Nature