Newcomer's

[vickirick]

Hello, I have been watching Bob's videos and ran accross the one that he shared to learn and connect ...then come here to this.... .com page...So here I am.....I am in the planning stage as I don't know when my life event will happen. You see, my honey, soulmate of 36 yrs is slowly dying of multi organ failure.  When the time comes, its not so far away now, I will have to start living in my Subaru Outback.  I am try'in to learn, be brave and be strong. I am sure I will be broken hearted, and lost at first when he passes....but I know his pain with be over. Watching him struggle has been overwhelming for me but I do the best I can and take great care of him....our love for each other has had no boundaries and will go on forever......I will truly miss him. I have promised him I will  carry on with life and not crawl inside a hole.....Right now....step #one# watching videos and Reading here as Bob said per his viedo was a way to learn......Also had a new-used to me motor installed into my car. All paid in full. Now to start saving again.....wanted to start yard sales, but this upset my honey....due to his failing health....I have a full two bedroom to sale off.  :huh:      Well, thats all I can say right now...I don't want to get feeling upset about what I am face'in....well wishes and (( hugs))) to all

 

[rvwandering]

Welcome to the CRVL forums vickirick! I'm sorry that you are going through such a hard time. Please come here anytime to ask questions and get what support we can give you.

To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips & Tricks" post lists some helpful information to get you started. We look forward to hearing more from you.

 

[Gunny]

About all I can think to say is "Be Strong" and know others wish you well.

Welcome.

Rob

 

[Zizzer_Zazzer_Zuz]

A dear friend of mine walked her boyfriend to the other side a few years ago. It was heartbreaking to see but it was also joyous to know that he was loved and cared for to the bitter end. You are doing a kindness that can never be repaid.

Don't forget to be kind to yourself. Take breaks when you can.

I don't mean to pry, I ask, because I have seen others go thru this. Are you married? Are there benefits, life insurance, or property that would benefit you if you marry now. Have you considered that you might not have visitation rights if he is in the hospital and you are not legally married?

 

[Wabbit]

Hi VickiRick, (((big hugs))) and wishing you both the best. Take care.

 

[vickirick]

A dear friend of mine walked her boyfriend to the other side a few years ago. It was heartbreaking to see but it was also joyous to know that he was loved and cared for to the bitter end. You are doing a kindness that can never be repaid.

Don't forget to be kind to yourself. Take breaks when you can.

I don't mean to pry, I ask, because I have seen others go thru this. Are you married? Are there benefits, life insurance, or property that would benefit you if you marry now. Have you considered that you might not have visitation rights if he is in the hospital and you are not legally married?

We never married, sadly....36 plus years. He wants too but we're both are on SSD.  I keep searching to find how much income we would lose if we did marry and can't get an answer...My SSD started in 2010, his in 2014....we barely make it as it is.....we worked both our whole lives...both in our 60's....no benefits, life insurance lost due to couldn't keep up the payment and now with his health issues there is a long gap before they would paid, if I got one again....can't afford anyway...and he won't be here by then. So far as his hospital stays, we haven't had a problem...I am on his paperwork to make his decisions when the time comes, plus we have his last wishes and what he wants done with his body paperwork.....I go to all Doctors appointments so the doctors know we are a couple....I have to keep this little home for now, as he need the comforts of it.....But I will move out  all in one month, somehow and hit the road. Az is where I come from but right now stuck in northern Ca.....Thank you very much for being here. I feel shame full.....that I want to be free and live free, would love a little Rv......but my honey never wanted to even before he got so ill.... Well wishes and (( hugs))

 

[Queen]

Hello and welcome!

Try to allow the feeling of shame to roll away like the tide, it crops up for those of us who've been where you are, but it's perfectly okay to want to be free, to move on, even though the price we pay is dear. We still need to live, so allow yourself the plans and dreams, it won't mean you love him any less, it means you're working on taking care of you and your future.

 

[rvpopeye]

Welcome aboard vickirick!
It sounds like you are traveling a pretty tough road.
You just found a group that will become your new family.
Many of us are doing care giving too.
Share anything , ask anything , no one will judge you here.
Tell Rick not to worry about you .

 

[theNomadicHacker]

Hello VikiRick,

I'm sitting at my desk at work tearing up reading your story. I can only begin to fathom what you two are going through. I lost my mom suddenly last year to a rare form of bone cancer that caused massive organ failures. It was traumatic and heartbreaking, but I can only imagine what losing a soul mate and partner that you've shared your life with for so long would be like.

But, I hope that what I'm feeling to say may bring you at least some comfort. Know that we're all one and this one life...is just _one_ life. We've had many, and most of us will have many more. I have no doubt that you two are, or at least have been, entangled souls. I have no doubt that you two have shared lives before. And I have no doubt that it's quite possible that you two will share lives again. Each time is different, maybe as best friends, maybe as parent & child, maybe as brothers, maybe as sisters, maybe as partners, or maybe even as mortal enemies...which is usually how the entanglement begins. And maybe this time you two have released any karmic entanglement you've shared and will no longer require to connect in matter form anymore, only merging together in energy, spirit, heaven...etc... whatever you choose to call it.

Anyway, I know some will think that to be crazy...delusional even. But I also know that their response is just an unfortunate by-product of this sad "culture" we've been forced into since birth, and that those same spirits will, in time, remember...whether that be this lifetime or many more.

I wish you the best in the challenges you face. I'm new here myself, but from what I've seen of this community, we will try to help and support you in any way we can.

And please release those feelings of shame, there's no room for that. As others have said, take time to heal yourself.

Much love.

 

[Jahmai]

Hello, vickirick...so sorry to read of your difficult life journey..prayers for a peaceful quiet passing of your partner. I too, have been watching Bob's videos and reading his site as I contemplate the idea of moving into my car ( 2000 Subaru Outback)..so I can save money and hopefully in a year from time I move in or longer ( depending on how long my car lasts..no issues at present, because the more frugal I can live the more money I could put towards a better RV. So I hope your journey goes well...I am just in the thinking about and learning about this way of living.

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk

 

[dr_nelson]

I am very sorry you two are going through all this... I cannot imagine how it must be. Sorry, I don't have words.... be strong!

 

[ArtW]

Feel no shame, 36 years you've been together, and now you're there for him as he approaches the clearing at the end of the path, that's more than most of us get, I think
Stand, and be true, and this too shall pass

 

[Gunny]

You didn't say where you are and it is none of our business but there may be the time you need assistance. There may be members close by who could lend a hand or just offer moral support.

Don't hesitate to ask.

Rob

 

[Every Road Leads Home]

Hi Welcome to the forum. Wish it was under better circumstances but sometimes life gets in the way. My first girlfriend, first one I ever loved died of cancer at 21. I was also with my Dad and Grandmother at the end of their lives. As hard as it is, I don't think there is more than you can do for someone, than being with them through the bitter end. It's a privilege, honor, and burden all in one.

Keep your promise to him that you won't stop living, lean on friends, family & people here for support and I promise there will be brighter horizons ahead.

 

[Bast]

I've been there. You sound like you are handling the situation better than I did. I nearly went insane when the love of my life died. After a long illness I woke up to a corpse. I did crawl into a hole and almost lost everything, including myself. I survived but it was hell for a while. All I can tell you is to be as strong as you can be and let yourself grieve. The pain is normal but it will end. it will deepen into sorrow and he will be with you your entire life. You will always feel his love.