Making the Adventure Not Look "Homeless"

[SoulRaven]

My final concern in the "big adventure" is that I have an adult son with DS and I am his legal guardian.  I want to do this on the "cheap" and smallest RV that will work and hoping to do volunteer for site with son helping, boondocking when that isn't possible.  He will get SSI and I will get a very tiny amount of SS until I reach 66 and can draw on a spouse.  I am still agonizing over trailers since the quality is so poor and considered a cargo conversion, simple one, but whatever I do, if I look "homeless" or if someone who doesn't approve of what I am doing (they never approved of homeschool), I could be reported to Adult Protective Services to be investigated.  There was a false allegation about 3 years ago and I am familiar with the procedure.  Maybe I can just hide from them, camo trailer?  I did see the cutest one this morning online.

I guess I just needed to post my thoughts here.  I feel competent that I can handle whatever comes along.  Does anyone know how much poking around is done?  Some people believe that my son belongs with people "like himself" and don't have an issue telling me that.  I used to try to explain but I realized no one was getting "it" so just brush them off. 

I am now my son's paid caregiver under Medicaid but I will give that up when we start the "big adventure".  He was going to go to a program but for someone lower functioning the programs are not good.  He tried 3 different ones, all assorted serious issues.  A great program would be a real find so maybe we will come across it on the "big adventure". 

So, thoughts?  We are out of here next year, hopefully spring.

 

[eDJ_]

This isn't an issue just limited to young people with his kind of problem.  Often older adults are looked after at home by loved ones.   In some cases the loved one looking after the older adult will hear that the older adult
should be in a nursing home.  (they may say that while eyeing antiques or estate liquidation that would be
generated as a result of the older adult being inturned in a Nursing Home) 

It is a tight rope to walk being a caregiver/guardian as I've seen that in my own family.  Finally a family Lawyer
counsels the two people and may call in health and human services to evaluate the situation and whether they
would be able to be looked after in their own home.  The court will decide on a hearing and evaluations by medical professionals as to how desperately they need to be in a medical care giving facility with 24/7 attendance.

I would urge you to consider taking some first trips in your own area, say within 150 mile radius of home.

Always try to dress well and be well groomed if you can. Particularly when traveling. Be clean in your appearance.

I put this website together to assist those starting out on some pre-fulltime forays. 

In it is a link to a "Trip Planner" that produces a map with small port hole windows showcasing sites of interest
all over the map.  A lot of new people here ask "what is a day in the life of a Full Timer" which implies the
question, "How do I know where to go or what to do" ?    This map site is designed to show a person what is out there.  Then there are Public Libraries where you may find the Fodor's Travel Books that go into greater
depth detailing what is in various areas, state by state, country by country. 

I'll be adding to this site as I can find helpful content for it.  Or if anyone sees stuff on other sites that is linked to  and wants to mention it to men in a PM.

http://edjautoservices.homestead.com/index.html?_=1448299327090

 

[Optimistic Paranoid]

Well, just off the top of my head, it seems to me that there are two kinds of people living full time on the road.  Retired people and us.  My thought would be rather than try to hide, do your best to look like you are respectable retired people.  Some creative coloration.  I've seen bumper stickers on those rigs that say "WE'RE SPENDING OUR KIDS INHERETANCE!".  I've seen license plate frames that read RETIRED AND ON THE ROAD. Many of those rigs have custom license plates with the family name on them. And then there are those maps on the rigs with the states you've been to colored in. 

I suppose the ultimate way to look retired is to get a lot of colorful Hawaiian shirts and wear them constantly . . .

Regards
John

 

[buckwilk]

Gypsy, There are always folks looking to stick their snouts into your business but I think the nomad lifestyle is much more tolerant than most. That's the reason a lot of folks are on the road. Out there you can be somewhat anonymous and low key. You also have wheels, so if Mr./Mz. Snoopy/Troublemaker comes around-----Adios. That said I have not seen or heard of anything like you are concerned about in many years on the road. On the contrary, what I think you will find is a caring, loving, helpful bunch who are very protective of their independence and yours. Take care and know lots of us are pulling for you and your son. Hope to meet you both down the road.

 

[SoulRaven]

Thanks! I don't have to work to "look" retired at 61 years old, that shouldn't be a problem. I am aware of the problem with the elderly. We have a lot of 80+ and I have visited with them. Harder all the time for them to stay in their homes. I use them to gauge what I want my life to look like for the next 20 years.

Quite possibly I'll be able to avoid that certain subset of people that know everything, those that can immediately size you up and offer life changing and appropriate recommendations based on a lifestyle and factors that are so entirely different than yours. Some are nice people and I'm polite but those that step on my toes.............

I do have days when I question whether or not I can do this. It is always a passing moment though as something immediately pops up to let me know that I am on the right track.

Again, thanks for your thoughts.

 

[SaltySeaWitch]

I thought things like this when I thought of future extended trips with my grandson who is 5 and can't attend school right now because of some health problems. My thoughts are this.... the less you tell people (non vehicle dwellers mainly) the better. You are on a "vacation" when you make small talk in campgrounds with travelers. They should be passing through anyway so won't know how long you stayed. If you see them next, you went home and came back again because the last trip was so much fun! You do not have to tell them it is a permanent move. It is no ones business how long you "vacation". When workamping it is explained as "a year or so off to travel with your son while you still can". Keep it simple. Don't over explain. It's a vacation, period! People can't grasp living outside societies norm which sucks for people with disabilities especially. Be careful who you confide in and don't hide at all. It's a vacation. you have no reason to hide right? ;-)

It is a shame anyone has to worry about stuff like this. Big ((((hugs)))) to you Mama Snow Gypsy. I think your son may just have the time of his life and this could take a huge amount of stress off of you!

 

[SaltySeaWitch]

Snow Gypsy....I would also add that my plan was to make sure Aiden's (grandson) Doctor noted in his chart that he okays him to travel, seek care in the area we go to if we wont be back in time for next visit, or will be okay til his next "absolutely necessary appointment". Get a copy of that and keep it with you. tell Doctor you have an unexpected opportunity to have a trip financed by a friend and want to give your son all the opportunity you can to have some fun. I will bet $ Doc thinks it is a good idea. If he doesn't, get a new doctor! None of the specialist can even do anything for my grandson. He would probably benefit immensely from being in nature. I'm betting your son will too.

I hope to be at RTR and meet you both

 

[SoulRaven]

Strangely, it never dawned on me that no one needed to know we were mobile dwellers. I know that must seem strange but with so many details, it always seems like one tends to overlook the obvious. Like going camping and having everything but a can opener.

Salty SeaWitch: All good info. I am very lucky that my son is very healthy and always has been. I use homeopathic medicine since he is so sensitive to medications and he usually only needs to see the doctor for a yearly physical.

 

[masterplumber]

I definitely agree that not letting on your exact situation is important. I know of one person who had some issues while living on the road with his child doing the best he can for his child - homeschooling etc... some nosey busybody didn't like it and called social services. The particular agent who investigated didn't think a child should be on the road full time. Fortunately he had some property in a different state and could show an address. I personally think taking your son on the road is a great idea. When you talk to others I would just say you're camping, as others have said. I would also ask a relative if you could list their place as a permanent residence - just in case someone official decides to dig deeper. If their not official just ask them politely to respect your privacy.

I hope you and your son can make it to RTR - I'm sure you'll not only find it encouraging, but you will learn a lot too.