Judgements

[Queen]

Recently in a money thread a poster decided people who take off on this lifestyle without proper savings are "stupid".

In the Dangers thread people (me included) posted about things they consider dangers while traveling, which is what the OP asked about.  Only to have a chorus of "worrying is pointless" and "I never worry about anything" posts in reply.

In another thread we got to hear all about how people without jobs and savings are going to ruin it for the rest of us.

So my curiosity is peaked by this, is your way the only way to do things right?  Is there room for being supportive without judging what someone else is doing?  I recently read a quote elsewhere that said 7+2=9... but so does 5+4.  There are many ways to arrive at a similar mindset without telling others they're stupid or wrong or (in your personal, possibly VERY different experience) have no need to worry.

We all walk different paths in life, some come to conclusions later or earlier than others.  Our experiences are unique, so maybe we can all agree that since our personal experience isn't universal, we could all get along and just be supportive while also being informative?

 

[GrantRobertson]

Very well said, Queen.

 

[sephson]

So my curiosity is peaked by this, is your way the only way to do things right?

I'd have thought this went without saying. Obviously my way is the only way to do things right.

So, um, what was my way again? :s

Is there room for being supportive without judging what someone else is doing?

Of course there is. Ultimately, your decisions do not affect my life, so I'm more than willing to live and let live. I'll happily give advice if I feel I have something to contribute. Personally, I see advice, whether given or received as a wonderful gift. Once given, it is yours to do with as you see fit. If you choose not to follow my advice, I'm not bothered by it. I'm just happy that you took the time to listen. Live your life as you see fit. You do not need my, or anyone else's approval.

I recently read a quote elsewhere that said 7+2=9... but so does 5+4.

You can actually take this a step further. Most people will look at the classic 7+2 and come up with 9 while the vary rare individual will see the problem from a different angle and come up with 72. Both have a 7 and a 2, but person A is doing addition, while person B is putting numbers together. Take it even a little further and you realize that the answers change again when you switch the order of the numbers; 7+2=72, while 2+7=27 and that 5+4=54, while 4+5=45.

Apply this to life and you realize that two people can take the exact same basic information and come up with radically different conclusions. There are times when there is a definitive right answer and all others are wrong, but those times are few and far between.

I suspect that more of the members and lurkers on this sight fall into the 7+2=72 category than the more populated 7+2=9 category.

We all walk different paths in life, some come to conclusions later or earlier than others.  Our experiences are unique, so maybe we can all agree that since our personal experience isn't universal, we could all get along and just be supportive while also being informative?

I can't speak for anyone else here, but my life experiences have been unique and could not be duplicated through any amount of effort. Those experiences have lead me to where I am now, and I think it's a good place.

 

[ryegal]

Recently in a money thread a poster decided people who take off on this lifestyle without proper savings are "stupid".

In the Dangers thread people (me included) posted about things they consider dangers while traveling, which is what the OP asked about.  Only to have a chorus of "worrying is pointless" and "I never worry about anything" posts in reply.

In another thread we got to hear all about how people without jobs and savings are going to ruin it for the rest of us.

So my curiosity is peaked by this, is your way the only way to do things right?  Is there room for being supportive without judging what someone else is doing?  I recently read a quote elsewhere that said 7+2=9... but so does 5+4.  There are many ways to arrive at a similar mindset without telling others they're stupid or wrong or (in your personal, possibly VERY different experience) have no need to worry.

We all walk different paths in life, some come to conclusions later or earlier than others.  Our experiences are unique, so maybe we can all agree that since our personal experience isn't universal, we could all get along and just be supportive while also being informative?

good job !!!

 

[GrantRobertson]

You can actually take this a step further. Most people will look at the classic 7+2 and come up with 9 while the vary rare individual will see the problem from a different angle and come up with 72. Both have a 7 and a 2, but person A is doing addition, while person B is putting numbers together. Take it even a little further and you realize that the answers change again when you switch the order of the numbers; 7+2=72, while 2+7=27 and that 5+4=54, while 4+5=45.

Bah! You guys are such number bigots. You are leaving out all the infinite variety available in the Real and Complex number sets. I just don't know if I can hang out here any more. [emoji12]

 

[GotSmart]

 7+2=9... but so does 5+4.  

Then there is the new government math that nobody understands.   :huh:

The point is if you wait until everything is perfect, things will never happen.

 

[Queen]

The point is if you wait until everything is perfect, things will never happen.

Huh?

 

[SoulRaven]

Great post, Queen.

All public forums are this way although far too many people in person do the same thing. Counting to 10 helps or 200.

 

[Queen]

Great post, Queen.  

All public forums are this way although far too many people in person do the same thing.  Counting to 10 helps or 200.

Yeah, I'm on a bunch of other forums and most of them have descended into hate and vitriol over the years, not much compassion or understanding to be found these days.  I love that Bob tries to keep this place positive and helpful.

 

[GotSmart]

Huh?

If I had waited to have kids until everything was perfect, I never would have had kids.

If I had waited until I had $5,000 in savings to start vandwelling, my kids would have killed me. (Justifiably so!) 

Sometimes you have to ignore what others say, and do what is right for you.  (Sometimes, ??? Who cares what THEY say!)  Just live life, other wise you never do anything but sit and watch the paint crack.

Plan, but do not obsess on the details.

 

[Optimistic Paranoid]

Recently in a money thread a poster decided people who take off on this lifestyle without proper savings are "stupid".

In the Dangers thread people (me included) posted about things they consider dangers while traveling, which is what the OP asked about.  Only to have a chorus of "worrying is pointless" and "I never worry about anything" posts in reply.

In another thread we got to hear all about how people without jobs and savings are going to ruin it for the rest of us.

Yeah, afraid when I saw those posts, the only thing I could think of was my favorite song from the Busboys.  A VERY badly underrated band, btw.

[video=youtube]

Regards
John

 

[SoulRaven]

I have to add one of my pet peeves: "Well, I would never want to do that." and worse yet in person with a smirk on their face.

 

[GotSmart]

Yeah, afraid when I saw those posts, the only thing I could think of was my favorite song from the Busboys.  A VERY badly underrated band, btw.



Regards
John

I like this version better.

[font=Roboto, arial, sans-serif]Rodney Dillard & the Dillard band ~ There Goes The Neighborhood[/font]

 

[SoulRaven]

I think the blade cuts 2 ways here. If your choice is being homeless or living in a vehicle, then of course I would choose living in a vehicle.

HOWEVER, if you are choosing this as an alternative lifestyle, it only makes good sense to get your ducks in a row before jumping in with both feet. Too many people glamorize this lifestyle and advise others to just do it and sort everything out later, and they'll be glad they did. This is VERY POOR advice. At the very least, someone should have their income figured out, and how they're going to deal with emergencies, breakdowns, the weather, meals, and bathroom issues.

This lifestyle can be gotten into cheaper than just the move in costs of a cheap apartment in many areas. BUT, this lifestyle is NOT appropriate or desirable for the vast majority of people. I see way too much encouragement to JUST DO IT, and not enough LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP mentality online.

Over the last year and a half, I have been working with a lot of homeless people. A large portion of them started out living in vehicles before they lost them. The simple truth is that it costs money to live in a vehicle, without some means of financial support, you are doomed to failure, whether you're living in a vehicle, or living on the streets.

I keep seeing "Oh, you're losing your job (or apartment), move into a van". Practically nobody says "Then get off your dead ass and go get another job!". Living in a van is far from free. Living in a van is NOT the solution most people need. Learning how to make money is the skill that people need most. Once you have that skill, then everything in life becomes a whole lot easier. Even savings only go so far, THEN WHAT?

People need to be taught how to either get jobs, or make money for themselves, if they don't have some means of support. Life isn't free, even if you're boondocking.

This isn't intended to be any form of judgement, just common sense, which seems to be less and less common as time goes on...

 

[akrvbob]

Some of you have misunderstood the topic of this thread. The topic is acceptance without judgement of the way other people do things.

It is NOT the examples she used. If you want to comment on those examples, go to their threads or start new ones.
Bob

 

[USACelt]

That sounds like tough love from Off Grid. makes sense too

 

[Phantom Blooper]

Judge tenderly, if you must. There is usually a side you have not heard, a story you know nothing about, and a battle waged that you are not having to fight.

No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending to be something you aren’t because you’re trying to please a bunch of judgmental people is not the way to be happy. Living the life you want to live is. It really is that simple!

I used to say screw them all except for six...and save them for pallbearers.....now all I need is one.....the undertaker to put my cremains in a niche.....

 

[SoulRaven]

As I often see, people that don't get out of their own little niche often don't understand what life is like beyond that. They make judgments from a limited amount of knowledge so I see that in play.

Also, this website spans living situations and locations. Everyone won't be living in a van, jobless, etc. as they are here looking for advice on a best fit for them. I don't know about everyone else but I don't share a lot of financial info on the web or other personal details which when left out might make my decisions look like less than something to be desired. I'd have to write a book to cover everything. So we are always working with limited information about an individual and making judgments in that case leaves much to be desired.

I think you can't really comment on where I am going if you don't really understand where I am at. When people ask specifically if someone thinks something is possible, there are kind ways to direct that person to think it through for themselves and that is what I try to do. Give them the resources to use to make the decisions that will work for them.

I saw a budget on another website. It was judged and ripped apart by some. I was very annoyed. Show me your budget and I won't criticize how you spend your money, I will use it as a template. You spend $40.00 a month on eating out? Well, I don't eat out but I buy dog food so I substitute that expense in the eating out category rather than talk about what a waste of money is eating out, then I get judged for "wasting" money on my dogs.

I often see a lot of hostile posts in blogs being critical of the ideas, thoughts and actions. The bloggers put so much time and effort in doing this. You simply take what you can use from the information and leave the rest.

 

[Queen]

Snow Gypsy, you really nailed it.

We all the see the world through our own eyes, through the filter of our own experience, this doesn't make what we know invalid but it may make it less applicable to someone else. Listening and learning about where someone is in their process would help us be able to offer more informed suggestions and advice. Just saying they are wrong or stupid or clueless doesn't help. Neither does telling them either directly or through intimation that your way is right and if they think differently they are somehow "less" than you are.

 

[IGBT]

The caveat to this idea of acceptance of others actions is when those actions are so negative that they degrade the lives of others.

A person leaving dangerous contamination at a public camp area when it would not have taken much extra work to dispose of it properly.

Are you going to be kind and understanding if your dog dies because it drank an open container of antifreeze someone left in the bushes?