I need to be free

[Aja-Aya]

One quote I remember reading in a Tony Robbins book about 30 years ago that I really liked and still remember to this day is: "We can not control what happens to us in our lives, but we have total control over how we react to what happens." I am very glad that you came here and are getting so many excellent ideas, suggestions and advice from some very caring and helpful people. You are being proactive and, by making the decision to come here, and following some of the ideas presented to you already, you are well on your way to turning things around and making your life what you want it to be. You can do this and, you will do this and I wish you nothing but the best on your path to living your best life.

This is all I want. I just don't know what that looks like. It's a mystery to me. But I'm willing to be uncomfortable to find out. Everyday I'm surrendering more and more.

 

[Aja-Aya]

The nice thing about waiting tables, I’m told, is always having money in your pocket.

Keep us posted, pls, Aja-Aya, we’re rooting for you.

I will. I promise.

 

[rruff]

Have you ever waitressed? In the right restaurant you can make pretty decent money.

^ I'm going to 2nd this one. I did this after being an aerospace engineer and then a homeless bum. In other words I had no aptitude for it, and had to write everything down. If you like to be friendly and brighten people's day, you can do this job. I made over $20/hr in the early 2000s... surely it would be over $30 now at a good place?

It's a great job for nomads too, since you can work seasonally at resorts and have the rest of the year off... and still have a job lined up the following year.

 

[Aja-Aya]

I asked my landlord if we could work something out since I just started working a job at the Dollar tree and not start the eviction process. She told me that I could turn in my keys by May 19th and work out a payment plan and then I won't have an eviction on my credit. What do you guys think? I don't know what to do.

 

[Aja-Aya]

I asked my landlord if we could work something out since I just started working a job at the Dollar tree and not start the eviction process. She told me that I could turn in my keys by May 19th and work out a payment plan and then I won't have an eviction on my credit. What do you guys think? I don't know what to do.

This still doesn't give me any time to really end up in a situation where I have a roof over my head. Most of the shelters the women's shelters here are for domestic violence and women with children and people with addictions. Which is why I was looking for a van. Even though there are people that feel like I shouldn't be looking for a van. I don't even have a car to live in.

 

[WanderingRose]

If your landlord is insisting you turn in your keys and vacate the apartment, sounds like you might be quite a bit behind in your rent.

You haven’t mentioned whether other agencies can help with these arrearages, but I hope you have made some phone calls to try to get whatever is needed pulled together.

Might have to impose on friends or family to borrow a couch or spare room, if you don’t want to go into a shelter.

There are domestic violence shelters, but also homeless shelters, and if they don’t have bed space for you they may have other options.

Personally, I would exhaust all other possibilities before going into a shelter, but it is better than a park bench.

The other thing is, eviction is a court process, and takes time. I would find out what the eviction laws are where you are, and you may be able to stay in place until a court orders you out.

Meanwhile, gathering what agency money you can to help with the arrearages and making payments on your back rent, and maybe your landlord will soften.

 

[WanderingRose]

And there is no one here who can give you a van or a vehicle, Aja-Aya, I am pretty certain.

We can give you advice, for what that’s worth.

But, seriously, I wouldn’t leave that apartment until you absolutely must.

 

[laura anne]

Hi everyone!

Im new to this community. You all are full of joy and optimism. Im glad I have found you. I moved from Atlanta to Mobile, Al and I had a 5 year career as a Energy healer. I became drained and tired and wanted to just work for someone for a while or do something else. It landed me in this situation. Im not mad about the pivot because I’m just being true to myself. Im just in a big challenge right now. I don’t know where to find money, a minivan to convert, or a being on this planet that can assist me right for some reason. Sometimes things seem to fall right into my lap and at this time it seems nothing i do creates any flow. Im really close to eviction my car was repossessed and no one will hire me. I have lived in my car before and I was having the time of my life but I never thought about traveling and living in a vehicle full time. I signed up for some local car donation non profits but no answer back yet. I’m single with just me and my dog, I find that I don’t fit into the demographic of who people would consider in need. So . . . . I don’t know what to do. I was lead to this forum watching crystal vanning YouTube channel. Thank you all for any of your suggestions.

Tons of youtube channels about making money on the road some places have sites you can stay in rv hotel room, I don't know whats available now but do some research and hopefully you will find something that you won't buy doing that can fill up your bank account.

 

[Morgana]

That's terrible, Aja-Aya, I'm so sorry. I don't have any useful advice, only a couple of questions (and no matter how you answer them, I'm not going to pretend I would know what you should do next). One is, how would you pay for a van? Another is, how bad are the consequences of "having an eviction on your record"? That sounds scary, but is it something worth risking in order to keep a lock-able door and a roof over your head a little longer? (not a rhetorical question, I honestly don't know)

I would recommend an extended-stay motel but even those have gotten so d**n expensive in the last couple of years.

There are a lot of good people in your shoes. Good luck.

 

[Overland One]

I asked my landlord if we could work something out since I just started working a job at the Dollar tree and not start the eviction process. She told me that I could turn in my keys by May 19th and work out a payment plan and then I won't have an eviction on my credit. What do you guys think? I don't know what to do.

First, I am not an attorney and do not give legal advice. Second, this link: https://www.doorloop.com/laws/alaba...it would take,for a complete eviction process. I found after a quick google search. I can not vouch for the accuracy of any info here but it makes for good reading and I strongly suggest you find other sources to compare the info to. One thing it says: "On average, it would take anywhere between 30 days to a few months for a complete eviction process." So, unless apartments are in very high demand in your area, I would think the landlord could do a little better for you as it takes them time, and money, to evict you. (As mentioned, we do not know how much behind you are or how much you owe in back rent) Yes, it would be better for you to not have an eviction on your credit history. So, since it would be better for both parties to not have to evict/be evicted, I would think something good for both parties could be worked out. I do not think making you turn your keys in within 7 days is a good deal for you but a great deal for them. If you read on that site (and check on other sites) it says there are some big penalties should a landlord try to force someone out by circumventing the eviction process. (Meaning cutting off utilities, changing the locks, etc. ) Information is a powerful thing and, the more you have, the better your chances may be of negotiating a better deal for yourself. You may even be able to get some free legal advice from legal aide or something similar in your area? Since you have a job, and will be paid, I would think this should work in your favor. In the end, you will have to be the one deciding what to do and if this is the best deal you can get from the landlord or not. I am just suggesting that you get as much information as you can from legitimate legal websites so you will know your rights, and what can and can't be done by the landlord and in what timeframe. These laws vary by jurisdiction so in your searches, make sure you search using Mobile and Alabama so you get accurate info for your situation. Best of luck to you.

 

[Aja-Aya]

If your landlord is insisting you turn in your keys and vacate the apartment, sounds like you might be quite a bit behind in your rent.

You haven’t mentioned whether other agencies can help with these arrearages, but I hope you have made some phone calls to try to get whatever is needed pulled together.

Might have to impose on friends or family to borrow a couch or spare room, if you don’t want to go into a shelter.

There are domestic violence shelters, but also homeless shelters, and if they don’t have bed space for you they may have other options.

Personally, I would exhaust all other possibilities before going into a shelter, but it is better than a park bench.

The other thing is, eviction is a court process, and takes time. I would find out what the eviction laws are where you are, and you may be able to stay in place until a court orders you out.

Meanwhile, gathering what agency money you can to help with the arrearages and making payments on your back rent, and maybe your landlord will soften.

I'm only 15 days late for one month. And this is an alternative to me getting an eviction.

 

[Aja-Aya]

First, I am not an attorney and do not give legal advice. Second, this link: https://www.doorloop.com/laws/alabama-eviction-process#:~:text=On average, it would take,for a complete eviction process. I found after a quick google search. I can not vouch for the accuracy of any info here but it makes for good reading and I strongly suggest you find other sources to compare the info to. One thing it says: "On average, it would take anywhere between 30 days to a few months for a complete eviction process." So, unless apartments are in very high demand in your area, I would think the landlord could do a little better for you as it takes them time, and money, to evict you. (As mentioned, we do not know how much behind you are or how much you owe in back rent) Yes, it would be better for you to not have an eviction on your credit history. So, since it would be better for both parties to not have to evict/be evicted, I would think something good for both parties could be worked out. I do not think making you turn your keys in within 7 days is a good deal for you but a great deal for them. If you read on that site (and check on other sites) it says there are some big penalties should a landlord try to force someone out by circumventing the eviction process. (Meaning cutting off utilities, changing the locks, etc. ) Information is a powerful thing and, the more you have, the better your chances may be of negotiating a better deal for yourself. You may even be able to get some free legal advice from legal aide or something similar in your area? Since you have a job, and will be paid, I would think this should work in your favor. In the end, you will have to be the one deciding what to do and if this is the best deal you can get from the landlord or not. I am just suggesting that you get as much information as you can from legitimate legal websites so you will know your rights, and what can and can't be done by the landlord and in what timeframe. These laws vary by jurisdiction so in your searches, make sure you search using Mobile and Alabama so you get accurate info for your situation. Best of luck to you.

Yes, I will check. I'm late 12 days so for on one month of rent.

 

[Aja-Aya]

That's terrible, Aja-Aya, I'm so sorry. I don't have any useful advice, only a couple of questions (and no matter how you answer them, I'm not going to pretend I would know what you should do next). One is, how would you pay for a van? Another is, how bad are the consequences of "having an eviction on your record"? That sounds scary, but is it something worth risking in order to keep a lock-able door and a roof over your head a little longer? (not a rhetorical question, I honestly don't know)

I would recommend an extended-stay motel but even those have gotten so d**n expensive in the last couple of years.

There are a lot of good people in your shoes. Good luck.

Thank you, I'm taking this all I to consideration.

 

[WanderingRose]

I'm only 15 days late for one month. And this is an alternative to me getting an eviction.

I’m not sure you can be evicted for being late one month on your rent, but it is important that you find out what your rights are, where you live.

There may be a Legal Aid office in Mobile, or nearby, and they would be a good resource for information,

 

[maki2]

This still doesn't give me any time to really end up in a situation where I have a roof over my head. Most of the shelters the women's shelters here are for domestic violence and women with children and people with addictions. Which is why I was looking for a van. Even though there are people that feel like I shouldn't be looking for a van. I don't even have a car to live in.

What exactly are you expecting to find in this forum? I do not know of anyone here who is an employer who can give you a job or who can offer you housing or a free car or van. You are getting sympathy and good advice here but actual free legal aid to prevent an eviction is something you have no alternative for obtaining other than to obtain it in the local community you are living in. It takes legal paperwork, court orders etc. and that can only be done in the local court system.

Your local research librarian should be able to help you with a list of those local low income legal services you could contact. Librarians actually do act as community resource people. But they are only there as a research resource for helping search out the information of who you could try contacting for free or low cost legal help in your community.

 

[Morgana]

I think that the OP was very clear what they were looking for here, and that their expectations were reasonable, and that they've shown every sign of appreciating the support they got while also taking responsibility for their own actions.

Given the outrageously demanding and unrealistic characters who troup through this forum occasionally, and some people's willingness to repeatedly give them uncritical sympathy and advice all the way down Crazy Lane, with multiple stop-offs at the Codependency Cafe, for literally weeks if not months on end, I'm at a loss to understand why anyone would think this particular poster was asking for hand-outs.

The OP is new here, and I'm sure every forum is different, so it's worth confirming that everything they have posted is well and comfortably within the parameters of what routinely goes on in this forum.

Try communicating in the way you'd want to be spoken to if you were in their shoes ... or in the way you think Bob Wells would speak.

 

[maki2]

As to finding housing. Check with your local senior center. You might find a senior who will offer a room in exchange for part time household help with chores, grocery shopping and such. It is certainly a better alternative than a homeless shelter and you will have self respect from that housing choice and no rent to pay other than by labor exchange for the room.

 

[Aja-Aya]

What exactly are you expecting to find in this forum? I do not know of anyone here who is an employer who can give you a job or who can offer you housing or a free car or van. You are getting sympathy and good advice here but actual free legal aid to prevent an eviction is something you have no alternative for obtaining other than to obtain it in the local community you are living in. It takes legal paperwork, court orders etc. and that can only be done in the local court system.

Your local research librarian should be able to help you with a list of those local low income legal services you could contact. Librarians actually do act as community resource people. But they are only there as a research resource for helping search out the information of who you could try contacting for free or low cost legal help in your community.

Baby, I'm just giving updates. Thank you I will holler at my local librarian.

 

[LargeMarge]

If your landlord is insisting...

.
I insist the moon is Gorgonzola.
Doesn't mean anybody listens to my blathers and rants.
.
a)
Perhaps you can contact a local legal clinic.
Their staff could have suggestions.
In return, could you offer to volunteer, gaining essential Real-World skills and experience... while overnighting in the stockroom (as a 'security guard')?
.
b)
Eugene, Oregon.
The whole dang place was over-run with pan-handlers, dope-fiends sleeping across the sidewalks, and ****** [starts with an 'i' and rhymes with 'idjits', but you did not hear that from me] occasionally hitting the gutters with their droppings.
.
Too many individuals, too little housing.
.
We loaded the planning commission and city boards with open minds, and eventually changed Building Codes for multi-occupant residences in previously single-family homes.
.
How does that look?:
* attics and basements are modified and remodeled into legitimate efficiency units
* sheds and garages are new rental units
* driveways and side-yards are available for skoolies and house-trucks.
One artistic group acquired a wayward caboose and moved it into their backyard with a crane!
.
For the severely down, we worked with acreage owners to establish a series of 'Opportunity Village' locations.
These have Conestoga houses, a solid 8x12 platform with solid walls and a solid roof.
Secure in each self-policing mini-community, residents enjoy on-site showers, worshes and dryers, and a group kitchen for organized communal meals.
A darn sight better than a tent on a sidewalk.
.
.
During our off-forum PMs, I get the impression you are intelligent and resilient.
And yet, a major metropolis such as Mobile, Alabama could intimidate the most intrepid among us.
For a gentle soul, the amount of ethereal 'noise' could hinder tuning into guidance.
.
I wish you well.
.
.
NOTE TO MODERATORS AND FORUM OWNERS:
AS I WROTE THIS MESSAGE, ADVERTISEMENTS FOR COCA-COLA POPPED UP, BLOCKING THE WRITING WINDOW.
.
AFTER A COUPLE DOZEN HITS ON THEIR 'CLOSE X', I STARTED COUNTING.
.
YOUR POP-UP BLOCKED THE SCREEN THIRTY-SEVEN TIMES... AFTER I STARTED COUNTING.
.
DO YOU BELIEVE THIS IS ETHICALLY AND MORALLY NECESSARY?

 

[Aja-Aya]

.
I insist the moon is Gorgonzola.
Doesn't mean anybody listens to my blathers and rants.
.
a)
Perhaps you can contact a local legal clinic.
Their staff could have suggestions.
In return, could you offer to volunteer, gaining essential Real-World skills and experience... while overnighting in the stockroom (as a 'security guard')?
.
b)
Eugene, Oregon.
The whole dang place was over-run with pan-handlers, dope-fiends sleeping across the sidewalks, and ****** [starts with an 'i' and rhymes with 'idjits', but you did not hear that from me] occasionally hitting the gutters with their droppings.
.
Too many individuals, too little housing.
.
We loaded the planning commission and city boards with open minds, and eventually changed Building Codes for multi-occupant residences in previously single-family homes.
.
How does that look?:
* attics and basements are modified and remodeled into legitimate efficiency units
* sheds and garages are new rental units
* driveways and side-yards are available for skoolies and house-trucks.
One artistic group acquired a wayward caboose and moved it into their backyard with a crane!
.
For the severely down, we worked with acreage owners to establish a series of 'Opportunity Village' locations.
These have Conestoga houses, a solid 8x12 platform with solid walls and a solid roof.
Secure in each self-policing mini-community, residents enjoy on-site showers, worshes and dryers, and a group kitchen for organized communal meals.
A darn sight better than a tent on a sidewalk.
.
.
During our off-forum PMs, I get the impression you are intelligent and resilient.
And yet, a major metropolis such as Mobile, Alabama could intimidate the most intrepid among us.
For a gentle soul, the amount of ethereal 'noise' could hinder tuning into guidance.
.
I wish you well.
.
.
NOTE TO MODERATORS AND FORUM OWNERS:
AS I WROTE THIS MESSAGE, ADVERTISEMENTS FOR COCA-COLA POPPED UP, BLOCKING THE WRITING WINDOW.
.
AFTER A COUPLE DOZEN HITS ON THEIR 'CLOSE X', I STARTED COUNTING.
.
YOUR POP-UP BLOCKED THE SCREEN THIRTY-SEVEN TIMES... AFTER I STARTED COUNTING.
.
DO YOU BELIEVE THIS IS ETHICALLY AND MORALLY NECESSARY?

You and your friends are inspiring!