How to approach a solo woman

[RoamerRV428]

Do ya'll think that every human out there is walking around giving respect? Measuring their safe distances from another? Giving their thoughts to other humans on a constant basis in their day? Caring at all about their actions effecting others?

Not sure what world you people live in but it ain't his one

Yes if ALL humans could change and do it, we got it all made in the shade. But it will not ever happen. Never ever.

OP did the right thing. A solo woman IS NOT approached like a man. Those who think it is the same for a man or woman in that situation is crazy point blank. And I don't mind saying just that. Approaching a man or woman at an art gallery event, saying hello I am, nice to meet you after that approach etc can be done with respect, feeling of safety and more. Now put a solo woman in a desert by herself on a trail with a man following her.....there is no great approach after the 'stalking and following' event is happening as she is in avoidance and high alert safety mode.
Geez

 

[Van-Tramp]

While I admit I have my share of bias, I really try NOT to think of women as some fragile creatures that need some type of special care from a man. Other than a few anatomical things, we are nearly identical (man and woman). I can only imagine that the people that fight and fought for equality would prefer this way of thinking.

Sorry gals, you are no more special and deserve no more respect just because you have a V over a P. Don't act as if a woman's personal space or fear of injury is any more precious then a man's personal space or fear. If I am on the trail solo with a man following, I have just as much fear about what he is capable of doing to me.

If you (as a woman) feel threatened by that guy approaching, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Prepare ahead of time and gain the upper hand in the situation. There are tools (constitutionally protected) that do JUST that. Educate and empower yourself and the fear will fall away.

Again, I want to re-state that I do not feel the OP was wrong in her actions (or feelings). I only take issue with the idea that a woman should be treated or approaced differently ONLY because she is a woman.

 

[bigsallysmom]

I see RoamerRV428's second post yesterday was deleted. I knew it would be because she used “idiot” several times. She was quite passionate. I made a screen shot of her post (actually it took two since it was long) because what she said was important to me and I knew the post would disappear as soon as complaints started piling up.

I, as a woman, have legitimate concerns and fears. I know there are male predators out there. I know there are male opportunists out there. I know there are male jerks out there waiting to screw with my head because they believe they can get away with it.

Most of you men will never understand women's fears. You don't live in woman bodies. We tell you how we feel. In fact, we tell you and we tell you and we tell you. Yet I can look at posts here and see some of y'all don't get it. I can tell also by the man who approached me when I was alone in the forest. I can tell by the new this-happened-to-me stories from other women. At this point I'm thinking it's not that y'all don't get it; it's that y'all don't want to get it.

Women know the truth because we live the truth. Quit trying to mansplain. I for one am not accepting it anymore.

And RoamerRV428... thanks.

 

[bigsallysmom]

If you (as a woman) feel threatened by that guy approaching, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Prepare ahead of time and gain the upper hand in the situation. There are tools (constitutionally protected) that do JUST that. Educate and empower yourself and the fear will fall away.

Really?  When the man approached me while I was in my van, miles from anyone else, indeed I did palm my revolver and cock it .  Fortunately for him, he did not reach into my van.  Afterwards I shook like a cold puppy.  It's been six months, and I haven't gone back to that location.  The fear did not "fall away".

 

[flying kurbmaster]

While I admit I have my share of bias, I really try NOT to think of women as some fragile creatures that need some type of special care from a man. Other than a few anatomical things, we are nearly identical (man and woman). I can only imagine that the people that fight and fought for equality would prefer this way of thinking.

Sorry gals, you are no more special and deserve no more respect just because you have a V over a P. Don't act as if a woman's personal space or fear of injury is any more precious then a man's personal space or fear. If I am on the trail solo with a man following, I have just as much fear about what he is capable of doing to me.

If you (as a woman) feel threatened by that guy approaching, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Prepare ahead of time and gain the upper hand in the situation. There are tools (constitutionally protected) that do JUST that. Educate and empower yourself and the fear will fall away.

Again, I want to re-state that I do not feel the OP was wrong in her actions (or feelings). I only take issue with the idea that a woman should be treated or approaced differently ONLY because she is a woman.

so all women have to do is buy a gun and all their fears would be eliminated??
We are not equal in our vulnrability,  it is almost natural to watch out for  toddlers  on busy sidewalks so we don’t or no one else walks over them, we watch out for dogs that are close to roads, we approach cyclists especially children in a cautious way on a roadway, we also have to be mindful of how we approach people in secluded places, especially if you are male and they are female or children, because they often feel vulnerable in these situations. It is cultural, generational, and i doubt any amount of preparedness or fire power would change this.

 

[AMGS3]

I think that perhaps after the fourth or fifth time reading VanTramp's post I can't really find anything to be that bent outta shape over. Yup, there's lots of people who are passionate about second amendment rights. He doesn't seem to be saying anything that ( at least in my mind) puts him super far on the wing nut end of the spectrum, as far as opinions on guns are concerned. And the opinion about "educate and empower yourself" and it will go a long way toward alleviating your fears, while being solid advice, isn't an original idea. You'll hear the same advice over and over again at self defense classes and women's shelter trainings all over. Yes, it's slightly different than the type of education and empowerment they are referring to when you hear that phrase at a shooting range, but they are still talking about the same concept. (btw, I'm not implying that he said it was an original idea. Just pointing out that it's a common belief)

The point that seems to be being overlooked here is that he was basically saying that solo men have just as much to fear from strange men as solo women do. I'd say I'd agree with that statement. Men get killed by other men. Men even get raped by other men. The biggest difference is that girls are taught to fear those situations because they aren't safe. Men, well, I don't really know what it's like to be a boy growing up, because that was not my experience. But, weren't boys who were afraid of the dark called sissys? Or who were afraid of anything really.

Every piece of advice I can think of that was given to women should really apply to all people.

Don't accept drinks you didn't see poured. Don't go walking alone in the dark in an unfamiliar area. Follow your gut, if you think something is wrong - get the heck out of there (wherever "there" is).


VT was literally saying that the OP did the right thing. And given what he said on men and women being given the same respect and approached in the same way, I can't imagine he would have thought any different if the OP were a man.

Think about it, how do you approach men? Women? How do people of the opposite gender than you approach men? How do they approach women? I for one am pretty cautious with strangers, no matter their gender.

And no, I don't fear them. If someone's giving me bad vibes I get away from them. But I do know that I've got a survivers mindset, and I'd rather kill than be killed if it came to that.

~angie


Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

 

[JD GUMBEE]

"Mansplain?" You know who uses that word a lot? Sexist man-hating females with chips on their shoulders.
It is every bit as offensive to me as a male chauvinist pig using the term "blonde intelligence" or "dumb broad" or "ditz."

Were the forums policed equally with respect to true gender equality, the post would have been erased.

It certainly did not enhance the thread in any positive way.

 

[bigsallysmom]

"Mansplain?" You know who uses that word a lot? Sexist man-hating females with chips on their shoulders.
It is every bit as offensive to me as a male chauvinist pig using the term "blonde intelligence" or "dumb broad" or "ditz."

Were the forums policed equally with respect to true gender equality, the post would have been erased.

It certainly did not enhance the thread in any positive way.

Mansplaining was used back in 2010 so its not like it's new. It means to comment on or explain something to a woman in a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate or oversimplified manner.  Sometimes that's what's happening on this forum.  

"Sexist man-hating females with chips on their shoulders"
Oh there it is.  This little gem once worked when I meeker and had to kiss butt to keep a job and food on the table.  I'm retired and my self-worth is flowering.  That little doozie doesn't work on me anymore. 

Should have been erased?  There's no cuss words.  I didn't insult a particular person or group.  I used a definition you can find in a dictionary.  I gave my opinion.  You replied with your opinion.  It's a forum.

 

[rvwandering]

This thread has run its course so before it becomes just back and forth bickering, I am closing it.