Grown Up Talk About Van Sex

[Gideon33w]

Yeah, yeah, yeah ... I know this is the internet and everyone is just itching for a chance to be crude (less so on here though) but I'd like to have a real conversation on the topic.

For those of us in small RVs, Vans, Campers, and cars ... Sex is an issue ...

We live in an object with minimal sound deadening, standing on 4 flexible legs, that requires some type of ventilation pretty much constantly.

This means vehicle movement and noise for those of us engaging in frisky activities. 

Furthermore, even a fully blacked out setup can leave you open for an indecent exposure case should the police arrive to figure out why your van is parked but moving like its full of angry livestock.

So, besides typical stealth ideas ... What is the best option? 

And once again ... Please be adults ...

 

[WheelEstate USA]

We're just careful where we park when we wanna get frisky...but we always try to be careful where we park

Couldn't help thinking>> If the van's rockin don't come knockin

 

[Gideon33w]

I've been sitting here intensely trying NOT to think that saying ... It hasn't been working, lol.

 

[WheelEstate USA]

Yeah, I couldn't resist

 

[WheelEstate USA]

A my age I'm not so sure the van rocks too damn much

 

[Gideon33w]

Haha, that is likely true for some. However, we are young, weigh less than 300 lbs combined, and are both in good shape. Even a laden van is still going to rock if there is intensity to the interaction and the human brain is hardwired to detect motion.

 

[SternWake]

Pesky shock absorbers make one work harder.  I've hammered 2x4's between frame and ground, for thrusting efficiency.

Don't hang anything from the rear view mirror which will draw the passerby's eyes when it is swinging like a pendulum.

Location location location.

[video=youtube]

 

[Gideon33w]

1) Hahaha, it would work though.
2) That's actually a good point. I'm not one to hang anything from my mirror but anything which can swing WILL swing and therefore draw the eye.
3) Location can be hard. You close up for the night and block out the outside world. You lose the ability to re-inspect the area for people/activity.

 

[BradKW]

Wait till its got a good rain going, nobody will notice then

 

[SternWake]

One can mitigate the bouncing/rocking to some degree by having a stiffer suspension. I can inflate my rear airbag helper springs to 100PSI, which raises the back end over 4 inches, and greatly diminishes movement of the Van when moving around inside of it.

But it is still going to move.

One should make sure their leaf springs are not groaning either. Some white lithium grease sprayed in between helps.

 

[WheelEstate USA]

SW...I wondered about those 2X4s were for

I guess our 1 ton suspension helps some as far as that goes.
Noise might be the greater issue.

 

[WheelEstate USA]

Brad...You wait for rain
When you get to my age you strike when the iron i hot

 

[Gideon33w]

The only downside to the rain idea is that, while I'm reasonably young, my Army battered body starts making more creaks and groans than the van when bad weather is near.

I've actually debated helper shocks to air up when stationary but this creates issues with leveling. The price tag for airbags concerns me too. My back sure would appreciate the air ride though. 

I wonder if the white noise of running the vehicle would be preferable. You potentially draw attention this way but simultaneously mask your other activity.

 

[TMG51]

No problems here!

 

[gojo]

Let your engine run when you're in action. Passer byers will think you have a high lift cam. lol

 

[rvpopeye]

Go on a hike till you find a private spot.

 

[bigsallysmom]

Vblogger Grant Travels says he was ticketed for having sex in a van and later it was reversed by a judge. About 6 minutes in.

 

[MrNoodly]

Go out in the boonies first.

 

[Damian Rolling]

"Furthermore, even a fully blacked out setup can leave you open for an indecent exposure case should the police arrive to figure out why your van is parked but moving like its full of angry livestock."

***

If the van is "fully blacked out," there is nothing exposed for the police to identify as "indecent."

And if the police ask why the van is moving like it is "full of angry livestock," the occupants would be wise to invoke their Fifth Amendment rights against self-incrimination and decline to answer.

 

[SoulRaven]

For those of us in small RVs, Vans, Campers, and cars ... Sex is an issue ...

We live in an object with minimal sound deadening, standing on 4 flexible legs, that requires some type of ventilation pretty much constantly.

This means vehicle movement and noise for those of us engaging in frisky activities. 
So, besides typical stealth ideas ... What is the best option? 

Shouldn't this topic be in the category of "Matters of the heart"?