Going through a breakup

[caseyc]

I'm going through a breakup with my longtime girlfriend of 6 years. She was with me for 4 years while living in a comfortable apartment. Although she wasn't keen on the idea, she even stayed with me for 2 years when I moved into the van. But then a major change happened. Her mother moved into her place to live with her and I believe her mom found out about my living situation and disapproves of me. Because my GF follows her mom's advice about everything, I believe this means the end of our relationship. Previously it was easy to keep it a secret cuz her mom was living in China but recently immigrated here to live with the GF. Anyway, I have to admit, this development has made me sad. It's harder to handle especially on weekends when I'm used to having her come over to stay with me. I am telling my story to all my friends on this forum because few people outside would understand what I'm going through.

 

[ilovemyvan]

Oh no Caseyc! I'm so sorry for you. I remember you posted recently that you were a bit down. It's such a bummer. It's true that time will help but that doesn't mean it's easy getting to that point.

I wonder if with time you will see it as freedom...let me explain. If you don't have emotional attachment to where you are, you might go and start traveling more, find work as camp host or somethings like that, explore some.

I'm sending all kinds of good vibes your way. You are right in saying that you have a lot of friends here.

Nicole

 

[rvpopeye]

Sooooooooooooooooooo. Did she actually break up with you yet ?

Maybe she won't like her mom telling her what to do !

 

[WheelEstate USA]

Sorry to hear this sad news my friend.
I know my life would change drastically if I were to lose Margie.
Perhaps a little time will change her way of thinking. Surely, she must know she won't find a guy with a better heart.

Best wishes.

 

[caseyc]

Hi Nicole,

Thanks for your kind wishes. Sometimes freedom comes with a price. Thanks for your empathy.

Casey

 

[caseyc]

Hi Popeye,

She doesn't communicate verbally very well. But she's been avoiding me lately and I just have a strong gut feeling the relationship is ending. She's been disapproving of my lifestyle lately.

Casey

 

[caseyc]

Jay, my friend. Thanks for your kind words. I've been through numerous breakups in my lifetime. But the current one is usually the worst. I didn't realize how hard I would take it. I wish time would speed up to get over this.

Casey

 

[BradKW]

Maybe leave anonymous tip with INS saying her mother is illegal...

 

[rvpopeye]

Maybe hook up mom with her own man and get her moved out asap !

 

[Cheli]

I'm sorry you are going through this. But if the relationship ends because she doesn't approve of your living situation anymore or she is so influenced by her mother, then she's not the one for you in the end. I know that's not what you want to hear but you deserve someone who loves and accepts your for you and not what anyone else tells her.

Everyone comes into our lives for a reason, some stay and some go.

I wish you the best and remember, everything works out as it should.

 

[wagoneer]

Sorry to hear that but I need to agree with Cheli here. She will live to regret her decision then it will be too late. If you need a shoulder let me know and you can vent over a espresso or latte while I cry in my beer all the best you know where to reach me when the time is right same place different time, take care Adrian

 

[caseyc]

Hi Adrian, sounds good. Let's do that! -Casey

 

[caseyc]

The mother situation is complicated. The GF who is a US citizen sponsored her mom to immigrate here as a permanent resident. The mom's hubby died a couple years ago from cancer and mom was depressed about it. So GF brought over her mom to live with her to cheer her up. I don't speak mom's language so that further distances me plus she's veey conservative. I always knew if the parents found out it would be trouble. GF being submissive to parents make it worse. Honestly, the GF is not exactly my type and we have conflicts from cultural differences, but I always thought she'd be there for me. But in the past 8 months since her mom came to live with her, I've noticed I'm no longer a priority. Time and circumstances can change a relationship, and our paths have now grown apart.

 

[flying kurbmaster]

good luck Casey hope you start feeling better soon, keep to the higher ground, don't do anything you will regret. Plenty of fish in the sea.

 

[buckwilk]

Casey, x2 what Cheli said. The end of a big part of your life is always tough. Try to be understanding of her values and decisions, you may be losing a companion, don't lose her as a friend. As you've seen, lot's of folks sending support and good vibes your way. Take care