Forced onto the road..but where?

[pom7756]

Good evening forum friends...new person here and after stalking the website, YT channel and forum for months...we received news today that the universe agrees and its time to stop talking about it and hit the road. Let me explain. While sitting on the beach today..thinking about how perfect and satisfying life has finally become..my phone rang and went to voicemail. The message from our sweet and very crazy landlord sobbing apologies but she needs her home back and although she is sooo very sorry..we have 30 days to get out. Story ends and life begins. Months of discussing the "could we's" and "should we's"...looks like we have the best opportunity to get on the road. 

Pack up and head home from the beach, shower, hit Craigslist, find a camper van an hour away..arrive in an hour..AGHHH!! What are we doing??? Long silent drive home.

I've tried to find answers to our questions in Bob's many well done videos where he covers just about every aspect that one could run across while still realizing that he cannot possible get through it all. Sooo here I am. Asking for like mindedness advice from any of those who jumped in and left.  When you pull out of the driveway..where to go?

There are the two of us just 60-ish, and his 93 yr old disabled father. One of the reasons we have wanted to do this was to get hid dad out into the world to see life before its to late. He is bedridden and of course there are way to many things that could make this a difficult task in caring for his needs..but we both feel would far outweigh the joy it would bring him and us as well!!
Sooooo...money is going to be an issue. We don't come from either wealthy or *smart* stock. Both of us have had divorces and get by okay..but just! So we'll be paying cash for an older vehicle...selling all unneeded material crap...and be able to live comfortable for a few months while we figure this thing out. Here's where I could use experienced advice. Starting out... sleeping in a Wal-Mart parking lot seems practical because..its ..well FREE>>> however...I cannot imagine that being an every night thing. We stopped at a KOA campground on the way home this evening and they informed use that it would be $40 per night for close camping spots ( crammed in next to neighbors). Hmmmm 40x30 days?? Thats $1200 a month!! Yes.. I know its a bundle deal...but still. We'll have gas, phones, insurance and food!! How in the world do people do this on a tight budget???

I'd appreciate any communication, advice or a shoulder to cry on (kidding). We are excited, scared and elated all at the same time that life has handed us an opportunity. Not to be taken for granted. Nor feeling sorry for ourselves. Lemons=Lemonade.

Thanks for reading/listening. Hope this makes sense as I'm typing with a bandaged finger. Typos may appear!

Good Night!

 

[SUV_RVing]

How in the world do people do this on a tight budget???

See Bob's boondocking article for a primer, and then check out freecampsites.net to find places close to you.

I think what you're doing for your husband/partner's 93-year-old father is great. Good luck!

 

[ghost]

Good evening pom -- Welcome aboard! Do you like where you live now? You mentioned a beach, which in my book, is always good start ; ) Do you guys need to continue working? I have spots in mind for my girlfriend and I but will not disclose on here. Watch out for cold weather which will be right around the corner. Most people can deal with heat, esp. dry heat, but the cold will kill your ass if you're not prepared.

Cool that you are taking care of your elderly family member but you have to consider your own lives as well as his. Eep. his while traveling.

This is a good time of year to hit the road and try it out as opposed to Jan/ Feb where it could cost someone their life.

I don't know what else to say but best of luck to you and yours. Ask me if you have something specific you want to know. I've lived in PA, OR, and CO but always had a roof over my head....

Peace,

Matt

 

[cyndi]

Welcome to the CRVL forums, pom! You didn't say where you live and that would help to get you started. Just a general region. There may be a member close by that knows the free camping spots.

You're near the beach and that's going to make things pricey if you're looking for an RV park. But workaround or camp hosting could make it affordable.

To help you learn the ins and outs of these forums, this "Tips & Tricks" post lists some helpful information to get you started. We look forward to hearing more from you.

 

[TMG51]

Parking is easy, just don't pay for it. Don't go to those camp grounds. Street parking, boondocking... if a box store parking lot I suggest Lowe's or Target, anything other than Walmart. Go for it, you'll figure it out. Sounds like you need a bigger RV with gramps though.

 

[steffykaye]

Hi Pom!
I am new to this also, although I am blessed enough to have some time to get things set up the way we want them. However, I second the suggestion to check out freecampsites.net. I found an amazing area in Ohio where we live that are actual camp grounds which are free, and in the one of the most "touristy" areas of the state. Also, truck stops are an often overlooked place to stay. Many of them have RV dump stations and places to refill the water tanks. The last one I looked at charged $10 for the dump and water combined, but it is free to park and sleep in their lot. So, it isn't something you can do every night on a limited budget, but it is cheaper than some of the camp grounds. As far as taking your elderly relative along, I think that is amazing. There will be challenges, but if you have been taking care of him for a while, you have a pretty good idea of his needs. Medically, I would make sure that, if possible, you have at least 2 months of any meds and specialized hygiene supplies. That will allow you to "follow the sun" and see more of the country before having to get back to the doctor or pharmacy.

 

[Hippiechk]

Hi;

I am just trying to imaging how having a bedridden oldster and you two kids in a van is going to work out?

I think you are the world's best family he could have !!!

You will find free camping in virtually any area of the USA although the season is busy everywhere in summer.

Are you equipped with a bathroom & cooking facilities that allow you all to be inside as well? No judgement, this group can puzzle out six in a mini van I imagine if they are given enough information to work with!!

Please give more information about where, what amenities (like bathrooms & electricity) that you will be needing. The more the better???

You can find a bit more of a shoulder in the chit chat area & for your own sanity there is always the girls room.

I am older, disabled & working solo with some serious health challenges & on the bottom financial rung so if I can, you all can! Feel free to private message me for a shoulder although I am not around every day.

It's doable!!!

 

[DannyB1954]

In some areas it can take 90 days to process a legal eviction. If that is the case where you are, you can stop paying rent and tell the landlord how sorry you are to do that to them.

Many areas have senior assisted housing. In California it came under what was called section 8 housing. The elderly only paid a portion of the rent. You could then take him on field trips. If you couldn't stay there as well, you might be able to stay in a vehicle on the property. If your area doesn't have anything like that, become a resident where they do.

If the three of you are going to hit the road, the good thing is you will be able to pool your resources for fuel and other expenses. 2 or 3 social security checks are better than one. I think Social Security also has an additional payment if you are a caretaker for someone else.

I think your best options are a trailer or Class A. just because of the need for a full time bed for dad. For 3 people I think they are an overall better value. You can often get a 30' Class A cheaper than a Class C. Vans are probably best for one or two especially if they are young and still like each other.

There are clubs that you can join for about $50 a year that will get you deep discounts at participating campgrounds. http://www.passportamerica.com/ https://www.escapees.com/ http://www.goodsamclub.com/ http://www.camphalfprice.com/ probably others.

 

[GotSmart]

With Dad, you will be needing a motor home.

Here is a good resource on camping.  It does not cover all the states.

https://www.campendium.com/free-camping

 

[pom7756]

Thank you'll so much for the responses here..and yes I did forget to include a bit more information to allow adequate replies! We are/were (?) living in NW Florida..Gulf side. We just stumbled upon this beautiful rental and it's going to be so difficult to give it up...hence my being up since 3:45 this morning. I see a huge yard sale in my future!

Details...

Yes...we have considered how difficult *care* on the road might be. But it can be done. He takes no medications, is reasonably healthy for an older gentleman and of course we will only take this as far as we can given his age and condition as in if things do change...we have family to help or other options. Because we have chosen to devote our lives to his care, also prevents us from buying/renting a place large enough for 3 when obviously we have no idea how long that space would be necessary. Instead of just a small space for just 2 of us.

As I lay in bed last night trying to find rest and sleep, my mind imagined that my bedroom was now just a mattress in a space. I looked around and tried to imagine what very little we have..still in a smaller space. (when we moved to Fl from Michigan when we first became full time caregivers..we sold almost everything). I believe the most difficult challenge..and one that few speak of or at least that I have not read/heard here..is how to fill the days. We don't see ourselves just rolling down highways waving at all the tourist attractions and pouring $$ into the gas take daily. My F-N-L luckily fills his days now with reading and tv. Perhaps that is where I have these fears as I've watched his life of solitude and his days roll into nights just lying in that bed.

I think that at first we'll stay in Florida and head south..to get the feel of this. >>>> These free campgrounds...I would truly love to have a conversation or even *chat* with those that have used them...what to expect...what it feels like to wake up there..what to do in a day...not asking what *I* should do..but what a typical day looks like..again. .... IDK LOL....so many questions. Snakes....storms...visitors in the night???

We need to leave here with good Karma. We were blessed to stumble upon this beautiful space, just a minute from ICW edge..a family property and although we may be angry for now and a bit hurt/surprised..its a rental..and you get what you get. Done deal. Moving on...literally and physically!

I'll attempt to answer each response here individually and thank you'll so very much for taking the time to answer. I can imagine that we'll have many question about mechanical issues, heating, solar.food prep etc. (better half is carpenter, mechanic and past live aboard sailor..helpful ) And hopefully in the near future we'll be able to reach out to help someone else starting in our position...for now..again thank you for answering these repetitive newbie questions.

 

[pom7756]

With Dad, you will be needing a motor home.

Here is a good resource on camping.  It does not cover all the states.

https://www.campendium.com/free-camping

Thank you..I'll add that to my list!

 

[pom7756]

I don't know what else to say but best of luck to you and yours.  Ask me if you have something specific you want to know.  I've lived in PA, OR, and CO but always had a roof over my head....
Peace,
Matt

Hi there Matt...thank you!! Living in NW Florida and we love it. In fact...being near water will be high on our list. Unfortunately as we all know..that comes with a high price. We all have been boaters/sailers and there is a love for water for sure. Challenge #1

Thank you for the response.

 

[pom7756]

Parking is easy, just don't pay for it. Don't go to those camp grounds. Street parking, boondocking... if a box store parking lot I suggest Lowe's or Target, anything other than Walmart. Go for it, you'll figure it out. Sounds like you need a bigger RV with gramps though.

That is a great tip..I've wondered about that. It seems so simple but I've only heard about Walmart and guess I thought that there was some unspoken rule that ONLY Walmart allowed overnighters. Thanks!!

 

[pom7756]

Hippiechk....your a woman after my own heart! Just thought I should have chosen BohoGypsy as my name here LOL. So yea..we may have challenges here, there or everywhere but we've both raised kids and a few difficult ones at that...I think we'll just roll with whatever comes up...laugh allot and couldn't hurt to start praying a bit more.

We haven't chosen a vehicle yet..and we now have 29 days to do so. Our 2 vehicles will have to be sold for either a pickup or van to pull something. Looking at the van yesterday was a thought to pull a smaller camper..giving Pops the camper to lay in the back comfortably and be his *forever bed*..and us in the pull allong camper for sleeping. Not sure how this plays out..no room in my head to play the movie yet. Was looking at school buses last night per one of Bob's recent videos...but there is that time thing.

It sounds like you've got some experience here and I'd appreciate any connection that your willing to extend. So so many questions.

As for bathroom...we'll need plenty of diapers and wipes. Better half has devised a sheet cleaning idea. 5 gallon bucket...toilet plunger ..soap and a clothes line. LOL..I love it. Again..he and his father have spent many years as live aboard sailors. This would NOT be roughing it for them. Me ...however not a princess by any means...I'ma homebody with a gypsy heart..so here we GO!

 

[jester]

As for bathroom...we'll need plenty of diapers and wipes. Better half has devised a sheet cleaning idea. 5 gallon bucket...toilet plunger ..soap and a clothes line. LOL..I love it. Again..he and his father have spent many years as live aboard sailors. This would NOT be roughing it for them. Me ...however not a princess by any means...I'ma homebody with a gypsy heart..so here we GO!

I officially adore you all! I love people with the "okay, this is my reality, how do I make it work" attitude!

 

[Almost There]

Welcome to the forum first of all!

Great that you are able and willing to take Dad along with you! I sure wish my Mom was able and willing to travel.

When choosing a means of traveling and living in the same vehicle you'll probably want to think of something along the lines of a Class C or an A simply because taking an invalid along would eliminate having to move him back and forth from a tow vehicle to a trailer. In most cases it is against the law for anyone to travel in a towed vehicle and in any case it's not a wise thing to do. 

A van would simply be too small for 3, it's barely tolerable for 2 in most cases and a pick up camper is even more cramped.

While not on the coast, most all of the water management districts in Florida have free camping. They require permits and have stay limits but heck, free counts. Combining them with what W/Ms are available, Cracker Barrels and Flying J/Pilots, along with a few paid campgrounds when necessary could have your monthly 'accommodations' costs way down. I consider my total cost of gas to move from one place to another AND the camping/dump fees to be interchangeable. As long as they all fall within the total budget then it's all good!!

You might want to keep a smallish vehicle for a toad if one of yours' fits the bill, so that one could stay with Dad while the other runs errands. OTOH, I got plenty used to doing all my errands in one trip - something you learn to do well when you're running a 35' RV. There's no running to town for just a quart of milk.

With regards to incontinence issues with Dad - when Mom was still living independently we used washable mattress pads that were about 36" x 36" on her bed under the sheet to protect the mattress but we also used disposable mattress pads that were smaller in her chair to protect it. We just covered it with a regular piece of toweling to hide the disposable pad from her as she was quite sensitive about the whole matter.

 

[Stargazer]

If you're boon-docking without shore power in Florida, will FNL be able to tolerate the heat and humidity?

KOA's are a last ditch choice for me, but private campgrounds will usually have weekly and monthly rates that are far cheaper than nightly. And as already stated, $40 worth of gas won't get you very far in any Class A or C.

What does FNL say about this? My 92 year old mother would LOVE it!

Best wishes!

 

[Patrick46]

$40 worth of gas won't get you very far in any Class A or C.

While this may be true for someone who's on the road and traveling a lot, but for people who are sticking to one basic area, it could be doable.

I too agree that a class A or C would definitely be the way to go. You say you'll need to sell both of your current rigs to be able to do this...might I suggest TRADING one as partial payment towards getting this RV, and keeping your favorite small one for a tow-behind.

I also agree that you might be able to squeeze a bit more time outta this rental unit in order to have the time to get things on-line for this new journey in your life.

Bless you for taking Pops along! Please don't let him just sit in bed in front of the box all day. Get him out and keep him active, sharp, and alive! (and do the same for you kids too!!)

 

[eDJ_]

I've known of those who take aged & disabled parents on the road.  So long as their mind is in good shape it can
be a wonderful experience for them and family together.  I'm sure you may find stories in AARP about some of this.  

But if they go into something like Alzhiemer's  or OBS (an old age form of the same)  and they become confused and like a screaming one year old,  then it may turn into a nightmare with legal issues associated with it.  I hope one of you is the "Legal Guardian" for the father.   The Judge in the court may deem an RV isn't the proper place
for an aged person in his condition. 

This leads me to wonder that if the Landlord's "counsel" didn't explain the laws of the state where if "Dad" Became "infirm" that she may be responsible for making changes to the house (at her expense) to comply
with his condition.    I know no one who is taking care of their parent as you are wants to put a loved one in a
rest home,  but sometimes the Court may require it, and you Lawyer advise you that there may be a time "Dad" would want it and be better off there. (in spite of the cost....and it is costly)

If you do go on the road as you are intending,  I would suggest that you research a route that is "scenic" and stimulating.   States departments of Tourism often have literature listing some of their most scenic highways.  Often Motorcycle Groups use these for their week end rides.   A lot of RV'ers do the same. 

If you do purchase a RV of some kind,  consider having a dependable CB Radio & Antenna installed on it. (if one isn't already)   Should "Dad" become ill while you are under way,  the radio may be able to connect you with an EMS or 911 where the Cell Phone may be in a fringe where it won't work.   Those you contact on the radio may have to land line for help when they have your location.   

A GPS may be handy to have along also as well as a Road Atlas.   While you travel,  mark your Road Atlas
as to your progress so you have some idea where you actually are.   This is just being responsible considering
your Dad.    Most of us who are younger and in good health may not consider this.

If you purchase an RV,  consider road service insurance so that if you have a problem you can be towed to service or a flat can be fixed for you.    Murphy's Law. 

I read your OP and you were speaking of a long trip home.   Are you going to liquidate everything ?  Home too ?   You may consider looking at which States will offer the best services and benefits for Seniors.  Again AARP's website.   You may find a spot similar to what you had before getting the 30 days notice.   Then if you
can find a higher elevation to go to in the summer when it gets hot,  you may choose to Snow Bird so you can be in a comfort zone all year.

Just my thoughts.

 

[Spaceman Spiff]

If you do purchase a RV of some kind,  consider having a dependable CB Radio & Antenna installed on it. (if one isn't already)   Should "Dad" become ill while you are under way,  the radio may be able to connect you with an EMS or 911 where the Cell Phone may be in a fringe where it won't work.   Those you contact on the radio may have to land line for help when they have your location.   

My experience out west is that there are lots of dead places where CB radios go unanswered.  Don't know about the Eastern US.  Better solution would be a cell booster. Seems out west I have better cell coverage than CB coverage.  I have to be way off the beaten track to not have a usable signal (usually -90dB or better, which gets me internet).  I have a WeBoost 4G-M with magnetic mount omnidirectional antenna.

Another possibility is a Personal Emergency Beacon.  Works anywhere you can see the sky.  SPOT and InReach are the two i am familiar with (SPOT ~ $150/year, InReach ~$15/month with more features).

 -- Spiff