Women's Forum: Who to tell/not tell about vehicle-dwelling

[CatCaretaker]

Hi all. I am not yet mobile but keep going back and forth on whether to do it or not. On the one hand, it would save money, which is big for me. Fear of what *might* happen on the road is also big for me. I have read one might not hear of solo women on the road as much because the women don't necessarily want to call attention to the fact they're vehicle-dwelling, or doing so alone. 

I don't have family, and really don't know how acquaintances at work or whatever might react. I would like to find a few people who would know what I'm doing and perhaps whom I could let know where I'm going to be, in case something did happen. Or should my credo be "trust no one" and stealth it all the way?!?

 

[Cammalu]

I don't think you'll be in any more danger on the road than in your sticks and bricks.

There are lots of women you might join who travel in packs. You might want to go to the rtr and meet like minded folks.


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[CautionToTheWind]

Here is a CRVL article: http://www.cheaprvliving.com/woman-traveling-living-solo-van/

 

[slynne]

I rarely feel fear when I am out traveling. But I usually stick to interstates and stay in hotels. I am hoping that when I get more remote, I wont feel too much fear but I am a city girl and am prone to feeling more fear when there are no people than I do in crowds. Some solo backpacking has made that fear of not being in close proximity to help less intense at least.

Anyways I like the idea of finding people to travel with or camp near because being around people you can trust is the safest I ever feel.

 

[TrainChaser]

If there are people you think you could trust, talk to them one-on-one (not the group lunch table). Just start generally, like mentioning that you were reading online about people/women who do this. See how they react. You may have one or two that are already doing it, or plan/hope to do it. If the reaction is negative, just drop it.

But as Cammalu suggested, a few working together could help to make everyone safer.

But if you intent to live in the city, a co-worker's property could be a safer place to live, if they would give you a spot and let you use the water from their hose. Offer some rent. Don't be a nuisance. Don't assume that you can use their bathroom or that you can eat dinner with them. Tread gently.

 

[Queen]

We let some friends know when we're off roaming, sometimes I mention it to my brother but since we're not really close it's only in passing if I think of it. Very weird since we have no kids and our folks are all gone, we report to no one, no one worries about us... it's very freeing and a little unnerving at times.

 

[Almost There]

I use the LocSMS app on my phone to let both my sons know where I'm at each night unless I'm still in the same place.

It's rather humorous - one is jealous of my travels and envies all the places I go so he likes to know where I am, the other thinks it's a good place to start looking for my body!

Not sure how both of them were raised in the same household....

Queen, I liked it when I didn't have to 'report in' for the same reason - it was very freeing. OTOH it is kinda good that at least someone knows where you are!

 

[Queen]

AT, it was really bizarre feeling at first, I'm getting used to it now, I'd say it feels much more awesome than not the vast majority of the time.

"Looking for the body" LOL!!! My mom used to say she had no idea how my brother and I both came out of her womb, we were/are as different as night and day (I'd be the one jealous of your excursions).

 

[Gypsy Clipper]

Trust me when you sleep in the same parking lot for weeks at a time and shop at the same stores for weeks at a time people tend to notice.
I lived behind a food Lion in a little town by Lynchburg VA and it took at least 3 month before someone said anything to me about it.
People either love your life or they hate it. I talk to everyone that will listen. I'm like a evangelist for this lifestyle. But I have always been that kind of person.
Get a dog and go live wherever you want. Only the assholes will be a problem then just get in your car and move.
I lived in the parking lot where I worked for 7 months. Of course some people gated it but for the most part it worked for all of us. Just stay out of everyone's face and be a good neighbor.

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[Gypsy Clipper]

I've been both rousted by the police and helped by the police.
I have had business owners try to give me money. I also had a Walmart super center buy an inner tie rod end for my van and pay someone to fix it. I'm not broke. These people just wanted to help.

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[Suanne]

To date, I've only had neutral to positive experiences with LEOs (Law Enforcement Officers) while camping on public land/parks.  

My most recent encounter was with a US Marshal patrolling a park in Texas earlier this year.  He asked me if I was living in my car, very officiously.  I decided to turn it around from a question of shame to an opportunity to share my excitement of the lifestyle.  I got a gleam in my eye and said, yes, I'm using my car like a hard-sided tent to explore some beautiful places in America, like the National Parks.  It was a rather amusing (to me) conversation after that as I had to explain to him where Guadalupe Mountain NP was in his own state (while his partner, in the passenger seat, tried to hide his snikering).

Mostly I really try to listen to my own gut/instincts as to just what to say, how much to say, and how to frame my lifestyle as I try to explain it.  This not only includes LEOs, but also family and friends ... or any acquaintance I may meet along the way.  

One reason I cherish my vandwelling friends so much is that they truly get me, even if they are in an RV or rigged-out van, and I'm in a Prius.

 

[MsLeah]

Hi all. I am not yet mobile but keep going back and forth on whether to do it or not. On the one hand, it would save money, which is big for me. Fear of what *might* happen on the road is also big for me. I have read one might not hear of solo women on the road as much because the women don't necessarily want to call attention to the fact they're vehicle-dwelling, or doing so alone. 

I don't have family, and really don't know how acquaintances at work or whatever might react. I would like to find a few people who would know what I'm doing and perhaps whom I could let know where I'm going to be, in case something did happen. Or should my credo be "trust no one" and stealth it all the way?!?

Hi Cat,
First year I was homeless off and on, since August it has been steady.  At first I told my cousin, she is far from me, not able to help much, but she is informed.  I work part time and told a couple people.  The wealthy ones did not like it (guess they want me to contiue feeding the landlord, after 45 years, I'm tired of that.  Then there are some (fewer) that are just curious and not judgemental.

Staying in the same city allows others to label you - Homeless.  And if you are homeless "you must have lost your apt due to eviction, drugs, or booze.  That's the end of their thinking.  They see you negatively.  Less you tell the better.  Else they become too nosey and judgemental.

It's just a different life style, some of us are tired of instutionalization (apartments).

 

[Roaming_Raven]

I use the LocSMS app on my phone to let both my sons know where I'm at each night unless I'm still in the same place.

It's rather humorous - one is jealous of my travels and envies all the places I go so he likes to know where I am, the other thinks it's a good place to start looking for my body!

Not sure how both of them were raised in the same household....

Queen, I liked it when I didn't have to 'report in' for the same reason - it was very freeing. OTOH it is kinda good that at least someone knows where you are!

This made me laugh out loud.   My girls (4) have mixed emotions about me renting the farm and heading down the highway again.  One has a concern that I might be the next Steve Alligator Chaser (i don't know his name), she doesn't want me lost in a bayou or the Everglades.  One has a concern I will get homesick because I'm not traveling with anyone this time.  The two others are older and want to know where to start looking for the body!   Exactly!!! how did they all grow up in the same home?

 

[Beckyls31]

Hi from Lynchburg Va I’m hoping to be on the road in October. Hope your still enjoying the lifestyle.

 

[Perseverance]

To date, I've only had neutral to positive experiences with LEOs (Law Enforcement Officers) while camping on public land/parks.  

My most recent encounter was with a US Marshal patrolling a park in Texas earlier this year.  He asked me if I was living in my car, very officiously.  I decided to turn it around from a question of shame to an opportunity to share my excitement of the lifestyle.  I got a gleam in my eye and said, yes, I'm using my car like a hard-sided tent to explore some beautiful places in America, like the National Parks.  It was a rather amusing (to me) conversation after that as I had to explain to him where Guadalupe Mountain NP was in his own state (while his partner, in the passenger seat, tried to hide his snikering).

Mostly I really try to listen to my own gut/instincts as to just what to say, how much to say, and how to frame my lifestyle as I try to explain it.  This not only includes LEOs, but also family and friends ... or any acquaintance I may meet along the way.  

One reason I cherish my vandwelling friends so much is that they truly get me, even if they are in an RV or rigged-out van, and I'm in a Prius.

My one son said "that's so ghetto" 11 years ago so I didn't peruse my desires! I'm doing it now since Dec 2017 and loving life! If only I didn't listen to him then! He won't talk to me now[emoji52]

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