Women Only WOMEN ONLY! Part Time AZ RVer- Is it lonliness? Don't know what to do with myself....

[outdoorcamogirl]

Hi everyone! I have been a lurker on this site for some time. I have always been a very driven small business owner....never rich, but always self employed. I am 53 and am now at a point in life where the "Race" for money and accomplishment just doesn't appeal to me anymore....I have always been somewhat of a loner....very independent- I find myself in a place where I have very little debt and have to be at my home base in southern AZ for work 3 days a week. I have a small travel trailer and 2 athletic hiking dogs- but I find myself struggling. I LOVE the idea of being off grid boondocking in the middle of the forests of northern AZ...I love educating myself on bushcraft and survival skills...trouble is, when I set up camp on one of my excursions and the dust settles I find myself restless....I hike, I read....I paint....but I find that I am restless, dare I say bored- or am I lonely(though I am never lonely at home). When I am at my home base I have projects....the internet....and I can hide behind all my "Stuff"...so I am rarely bored or restless...but when I pack myself and my 2 wonderful puppies into our little vintage rig for some solo camping fun I can't seem to work past my mental block of slowing down and being in the moment....it's all I've ever wanted...

I have always been a free spirit- a go getter- I was married then divorced long ago- never had any children and enjoy living life on my terms and like being single- I have lost both of my parents in separate unrelated unexpected health events over 10 years ago which devastated me, although I do alright, I think probably I really have never completely recovered- I have always lived alone(except for the few years that I was married) and love it and do not feel like I am pining for a relationship...but I do know that having friends that "Get me" would probably add a bit of gratification to the simple loner life I choose....I have friends and family that I have good relationships with, but they don't get my simple frugal loner lifestyle....What is my problem?? Boondocking in my little travel trailer in the forest is all I ever wanted....I have researched, read all the books....planned and camped along the way- now that I can actually DO IT part time I find myself a bit apprehensive(is that the right word??) of what do with myself once I get there....I can't seem to relax and enjoy myself....It is so frustrating and discouraging....Has anyone else ever struggled with this?

 

[WanderingRose]

It is an adjustment, being still, in my experience.

And being disconnected from frequent internet activity is a whole ‘nother level, in my experience.

Keep at it, intersperse walks with your dogs with reading and other time-fillers, plan some special meals you can then prepare.

Etc.

Maybe meditate, do some yoga, teach yourself how to wind down and be...STILL.

It is an adjustment, but can be glorious.

You may also find you can’t stand it, and need to be where you have signal and activities to fill you up.

A process, not an event.

 

[maki2]

Your brain is hungry, you are not stimulating, challenging and feeding it enough. Hiking, reading and drawing are of course pleasant but it is not the real problem solving kind of work that keeps you engaged and gets you into the creative flow time where you look up at a clock and realize hours of time have flown by.

I design and produce things which requires 3D thinking, math, assembly, as well as research of history and methods of production and materials, etc. So that provides fun, creativity and the kind of brain activity that keeps boredom at bay. It also brings some interaction with other persons now and again and even some extra income. Total retirement would be too boring. I am fine with periods of goofing off and enjoy them but I also enjoy accomplishing things too.

You don't ever want to reach a point in your life where you quit accomplishing things and challenging yourself because that is basically brain death. You will get there soon enough, in the meantime your brain is hungry and restless so start feeding it tasks to do.

 

[outdoorcamogirl]

It is an adjustment, being still, in my experience.
A process, not an event.

Thank You for the lovely reply....you are right....a work in progress....I need to "Learn"...to reteach myself how to "Just Be"....we are brainwashed from the beginning that constant busy-ness is admirable....that the more you accomplish the more valuable you are as a person- I've done all that....that doesn't  "Do it" for me anymore....to learn how to "Just Be"....wow....now that would be something special....learning....everyday....learning...

 

[cyndi]

By posting, here, on CRVL, you've discovered a network of people who get you. That' s the beginning. You'll click with people here and then find them on the road where ever you are. We are everywhere. This is a great place to start building a community of support that completely understand and respect your boundaries. Not to paint it all rainbows and unicorns but I;ve rarely clicked with someone on CRVL that I didn't click with face to face.

Consider the RTR and/or WRTR in January. Dates haven't been announced yet
https://www.cheaprvliving.com/rtr/
https://www.cheaprvliving.com/womensrtr/

 

[waldenbound]

It is really hard adjusting to this new way of life.
Your old community is gone. You suddenly miss your mechanics, your dentist, the cashiers at the checkout at the grocery store. Everything is new, and you have to do things 100% by yourself.

I find myself under stimulated also. The loneliness of the life kills me sometimes, and that’s after I got the hyper lab puppy. The RTR is over, and here I am, me myself, and I.

What I am trying to do is find creative ways to find something to do. Finding events in a small town is challenging. I once went to a Baptist tent revival, square dancing, community Thanksgiving in a small school gymnasium.

Don’t know what to say except I hear ya. I need a good soak and some reki, I think.

 

[WanderingRose]

And maybe maintaining some of those fabric-of-our-lives relationships are important.

Revisiting places so you can connect with some level of sameness is a good thing.

Go back to that nice young woman who cut your hair, that independent garage to service your vehicle, etc.

Living on the road shouldn’t mean no repetition and constantly changing others.

Some people and places become part of our travel routine, and rather anchor us to the earth.

 

[RoamerRV428]

or it could be just you that type of personality that doesn't settle well. I am one of those!

I do my things I like only. I like to kayak, hike, bike, metal detecting, fish, swim. If I am near water of any kind...ocean, lake, riverside etc I am fine. I have my fun things to do. If I am not near water, I am bored out of my mind. I don't want to paint, journal, read, do hobbies, crafts, busy work of any kind, etc. I am not that person. I am a mover type. I move. When I stop I am bored and only 2 things make me happy then, some GOOD tv and movies, yea, hard to find those nowadays HAHA and internet.

Maybe you need a good hotspot on your travels. Boondocking doesn't always mean unplugging. A lot of places can have reception IF you have a good provider and get yourself a mobile hotspot off your phone.

We hit state parks all the time with little to no reception, lousey wifi even tho they offer it......we just turn on our mobile hotspot on our unlimited data and I have my tv I want and I have the laptop I want. My last 2 things that settles me down to kinda not move. tv to watch and sit, internet and all that is on it I do to keep my mind busy etc. I am not a 'go find some busy work' type person I don't like to do, lol

I am nearing 60 and I know what I like and don't like. I know what I want and don't want. So if I want something then I find a way to make it happen. I got so bored when faced without good internet on the road that I did pay for good Verizon unlimited data and got a great mobile hotspot situation for us. It closed that gap for me when out and about. Knowing I always had what I needed with me. Now don't get me wrong, sometimes my hotspot was dicey in some boney areas but I lived thru it. I had more good coverage so far vs crappy coverage when needed.

I struggle with 'relaxing' all the time. The way 'other's say it should be done' doesn't suit me at all and I find I am not one of those people who can 'find relaxation'.....it just ain't me and won't ever be me so why try to truly change me. I make my life work inside of my travels any way I can. Always camping at lakes, ocean access etc 99.99% of the time and having my hotspot around to make sure my laptop works.

So you know your pattern now, just re-create it on the road for ya. my tv and laptop is my 'down time' as I need it and the rest of my life I do exactly as I want and desire for my hobbies. being older there ain't no new hobby I am wanting but I will sightsee, check out things I hear about etc. to see if it holds any interest at all to me, chat up with locals when needing some interaction, etc. Very rare I would find something that would change me at all, lol.

 

[maki2]

Some people are very habituated to being entertained by outside sources. Note that it is a habit that you are used to without perhaps realizing how strong of a habit it was. When the source that fed it is gone you will go through withdrawal and feel restless, lonely, etc. So you will have to stop and recognize those feelings for what they are...a void that used to be filled with other types of activities. This is why you are having trouble defining what you are feeling because it is not specifically boredom or loneliness, it is instead just empty space. Half the battle is being in touch with what it is your are feeling which is a lack of something to occupy yourself with. The other half is filling the void to quiet that inner hunger for more activity.

 

[outdoorcamogirl]

^

Yup.....you are right on....growing up in the big city originally had me very connected to all kinds out outside sources....for everything....it has been slowly throughout my life that I have been plucking things away....I have always had a tendency towards being a "Type A" and over achieving....constant motion....but while all that was going on I still identified myself as a simple, frugal do-it-yourselfer who loved being on my own and living in the country- when I HAD to work full time it was easy to imagine myself loving the boondocking lifestyle since my camping experiences were limited to weekends....now that I can actually do it for longer periods since I only work 3 days a week I find myself struggling...plus being faced with the reality of trying to figure out what the next phase of my life is supposed to look like.....I don't want that "Constant motion" anymore....I don't feel like I need that mental challenge constantly- I've done all that....I've been very good at quelling my curiosity for most of my "Bucket list" things.....now I want to be able to fully enjoy those "Goose Bump" moments when I am parked in the middle of the pine trees and I can hear the whisper of the breeze- I want to feel that connection to nature and stillness, this is my new frontier....I didn't realize my ability to enjoy such things would take ""detoxing" myself from being addicted to stimulation or grid-tie addiction.....sigh....yes...thanks for the well versed input....everyone....thank you!

 

[outdoorcamogirl]

And maybe maintaining some of those fabric-of-our-lives relationships are important.

Revisiting places so you can connect with some level of sameness is a good thing.

Go back to that nice young woman who cut your hair, that independent garage to service your vehicle, etc.

Living on the road shouldn’t mean no repetition and constantly changing others.

Some people and places become part of our travel routine, and rather anchor us to the earth.

Yes, at this point I still need to maintain my home base....so Walmart- and all those things that keep me stimulated and connected will still be present in my life....but I am trying to figure out how to be able to just "Be"....when I am out in the forest....as one of the responders mentioned, forum members are everywhere....so I am guessing that eventually I will meetup with some of them in my travels...I look forward to meeting others that don't adhere to what the stereotype of the norm is.....I have always been one of those, and wear it with pride- but sometimes it can make one feel a bit isolated!

 

[RoamerRV428]

I can 'just BE' for about 15 minutes then I got to move. I am fine with just that. You will re-define yourself. You are changing old habits to form new ones, questioning some things about yourself and how you want to live forward. You will be ok and find your own way thru it all

 

[jacqueg]

Sounds like you've always been a 'human doing' rather than a 'human being'.

We are born into a society where there is tremendous pressure to have goals, be useful, and do stuff. I'm thinking maybe you could assuage some of that by finding an organization that travels to help people. A well-known one is https://www.ramusa.org. There are traveling disaster relief groups as well.

And maybe try some yoga or buddhist meditation, to help you learn to quiet your mind so you can appreciate that it is a very fine thing to sit quietly and listen to the wind. There's room in life for both doing and being.

 

[that420vanchick]

Hi everyone! I have been a lurker on this site for some time. I have always been a very driven small business owner....never rich, but always self employed. I am 53 and am now at a point in life where the "Race" for money and accomplishment just doesn't appeal to me anymore....I have always been somewhat of a loner....very independent- I find myself in a place where I have very little debt and have to be at my home base in southern AZ for work 3 days a week. I have a small travel trailer and 2 athletic hiking dogs- but I find myself struggling. I LOVE the idea of being off grid boondocking in the middle of the forests of northern AZ...I love educating myself on bushcraft and survival skills...trouble is, when I set up camp on one of my excursions and the dust settles I find myself restless....I hike, I read....I paint....but I find that I am restless, dare I say bored- or am I lonely(though I am never lonely at home). When I am at my home base I have projects....the internet....and I can hide behind all my "Stuff"...so I am rarely bored or restless...but when I pack myself and my 2 wonderful puppies into our little vintage rig for some solo camping fun I can't seem to work past my mental block of slowing down and being in the moment....it's all I've ever wanted...

I have always been a free spirit- a go getter- I was married then divorced long ago- never had any children and enjoy living life on my terms and like being single- I have lost both of my parents in separate unrelated unexpected health events over 10 years ago which devastated me, although I do alright, I think probably I really have never completely recovered- I have always lived alone(except for the few years that I was married) and love it and do not feel like I am pining for a relationship...but I do know that having friends that "Get me" would probably add a bit of gratification to the simple loner life I choose....I have friends and family that I have good relationships with, but they don't get my simple frugal loner lifestyle....What is my problem?? Boondocking in my little travel trailer in the forest is all I ever wanted....I have researched, read all the books....planned and camped along the way- now that I can actually DO IT part time I find myself a bit apprehensive(is that the right word??) of what do with myself once I get there....I can't seem to relax and enjoy myself....It is so frustrating and discouraging....Has anyone else ever str

Hi everyone! I have been a lurker on this site for some time. I have always been a very driven small business owner....never rich, but always self employed. I am 53 and am now at a point in life where the "Race" for money and accomplishment just doesn't appeal to me anymore....I have always been somewhat of a loner....very independent- I find myself in a place where I have very little debt and have to be at my home base in southern AZ for work 3 days a week. I have a small travel trailer and 2 athletic hiking dogs- but I find myself struggling. I LOVE the idea of being off grid boondocking in the middle of the forests of northern AZ...I love educating myself on bushcraft and survival skills...trouble is, when I set up camp on one of my excursions and the dust settles I find myself restless....I hike, I read....I paint....but I find that I am restless, dare I say bored- or am I lonely(though I am never lonely at home). When I am at my home base I have projects....the internet....and I can hide behind all my "Stuff"...so I am rarely bored or restless...but when I pack myself and my 2 wonderful puppies into our little vintage rig for some solo camping fun I can't seem to work past my mental block of slowing down and being in the moment....it's all I've ever wanted...

I have always been a free spirit- a go getter- I was married then divorced long ago- never had any children and enjoy living life on my terms and like being single- I have lost both of my parents in separate unrelated unexpected health events over 10 years ago which devastated me, although I do alright, I think probably I really have never completely recovered- I have always lived alone(except for the few years that I was married) and love it and do not feel like I am pining for a relationship...but I do know that having friends that "Get me" would probably add a bit of gratification to the simple loner life I choose....I have friends and family that I have good relationships with, but they don't get my simple frugal loner lifestyle....What is my problem?? Boondocking in my little travel trailer in the forest is all I ever wanted....I have researched, read all the books....planned and camped along the way- now that I can actually DO IT part time I find myself a bit apprehensive(is that the right word??) of what do with myself once I get there....I can't seem to relax and enjoy myself....It is so frustrating and discouraging....Has anyone else ever struggled with this?

Humans get lonely, it's a thing. IDK what I'd do in those moments of not for my dogs and I grew up an only child who learned really early how to be content all on my own... But that doesn't mean it's not lonely

I'm fixin'ta leave Portland for NW AZ as soon as muh van gets out of the shop which I'm hoping won't be anny more than another week... Tech is having a hell of a time finding the part I need but I'll be patient, it's all I can be.

Are you in southern AZ for the winter this year or like the rest of us are your still on the fence?

 

[Morgana]

This is a three-year-old thread.

 

[StacyK]

I also was perfectly content to be alone most of my life but then found myself getting restless and a little lonely-ish on the road—and I am used to a great deal of stillness and quiet. After a few months I realized I was hungry for neighbors. I didn’t want constant companionship or anything, but just to know fellow humans were nearby living their own lives and enjoying themselves. I started camping less remotely, and that helped a lot .

I also found that when I was starting out, I put a lot of pressure on those quiet, peaceful moments to be transcendent and life-changing and glowing, and a lot of them were just…moments. You know, just life going by. It’s really okay for them to be ordinary.

It also helps to have a purpose—a long-term project to work on, a skill to learn, a vocation to practice, whatever. Aimlessness gets old fast. Best wishes to you!

 

[StacyK]

HA! Wish I’d seen that 5 minutes ago, Morgana!

 

[that420vanchick]

HA! Wish I’d seen that 5 minutes ago, Morgana!

Apparently I missed that too

 

[scaredycat72]

HA! Wish I’d seen that 5 minutes ago, Morgana!

You're answer is still really helpful. Thanks for sharing.

 

[rvwandering]

Answering old threads helps the new people who stumble onto the threads so adding new information is fine!