What happened to "I Love You"

[SoulRaven]

If you are seeing stars or are needing to contact every other minute that is likely co-dependence or some other form of mental health posturing as love.

Dang, I feel sorry for you. I have mental health issues but my boyfriend ain't one of them. My therapist actually finds our relationship remarkably healthy.

They Be Twiterpated!  I could use a bit to feel alive again.

Yup.

I've seen a lot of couples with new relationship energy celebrating their relationship with the "happys" as-well-as seen older couples who have been together for 50+ years and still act as teenagers experiencing their first kiss after an amazing date (or better yet, kissy and cuddly).

...It's one of our love languages. Each couple is going to be different. For us, communication (verbal and non verbal), is at the top of the list. 

Folks 'round here aren't familiar with the term "new relationship energy", love.   For me, one of the best ways to sum it up is actually something you said the other day. I asked him what he feels is the main indicator that our relationship is healthy. He thought about it for 30 seconds or so then replied: "We're happy. Like, really happy." As in, actually. I met him not long before my old van broke down completely and it's been 10 months of quality connection since.

I wish the same for the rest of you not yet taken by cynicism! This quote seems appropriate:

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. - C.S. Lewis

 

[SaltySeaWitch]

There are various degrees of love. I say "I love you" a lot to my children and family. I say I love you to my mom every time we talk on the phone. My oldest brother sends everyone in the family a "Good morning. I love you" text every single day. I say I love you to my close friends. I love some of you on this forum even though I have never met you in person. I love most people in general. You can love without being "in love" and being in love is pretty nice in my opinion. I miss that feeling sometimes but I wouldn't say I am lonely.  

I am open to giving and receiving love in it's many forms. I think love is pretty awesome. 

Sending you some love Adrian :heart: 

 

[SaltySeaWitch]

I wish the same for the rest of you not yet taken by cynicism! This quote seems appropriate:

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. - C.S. Lewis

Excellent quote Bitty :heart:

 

[flying kurbmaster]

Dang, I feel sorry for you. I have mental health issues but my boyfriend ain't one of them.

now that is not very loving no need to feel sorry for me I am doing fine healthy, content and grateful with peace of mind.

 

[WildTrappist]

I love you like bacon.

 

[nobodyG17]

Careful using the B word.  That is serious business!

 

[SaltySeaWitch]

I love you like bacon.

My 5 year old grandson says "I love you to the moon and bigger than bacon!" That's some serious love when it gets to bacon love lol.

 

[SaltySeaWitch]

If you are seeing stars or are needing to contact every other minute that is likely co-dependence or some other form of mental health posturing as love.

I think I agree with flying kurbmaster here. There is a fine line between love and stalking. One I don't like people to cross lol :dodgy:

 

[SoulRaven]

I think I agree with flying kurbmaster here. There is a fine line between love and stalking. One I don't like people to cross lol :dodgy:

 
It's only stalking if it isn't consensual. There's always the stalker app too...

For my own experience, sometimes we text a lot, other times barely at all. DarthVixen and I both grew up in the context where it was never okay to be needy, so for us it's important to undo some of that programming. Sometimes one of us does feel the need for contact every other minute--in times of significant distress. We find it's healthy for us to communicate it when it happens, and the other person can then respond with whether or not they're up to handling that. Self-care is more important than self-sacrifice for us, so if one person needs space and the other needs closeness, space is what happens first--as long as desired--while the other person seeks out alternative support. Never any hint of resentment. I love it!

 

[SaltySeaWitch]

 
It's only stalking if it isn't consensual. There's always the stalker app too...

For my own experience, sometimes we text a lot, other times barely at all. DarthVixen and I both grew up in the context where it was never okay to be needy, so for us it's important to undo some of that programming. Sometimes one of us does feel the need for contact every other minute--in times of significant distress. We find it's healthy for us to communicate it when it happens, and the other person can then respond with whether or not they're up to handling that. Self-care is more important than self-sacrifice for us, so if one person needs space and the other needs closeness, space is what happens first--as long as desired--while the other person seeks out alternative support. Never any hint of resentment. I love it!

"I am not a stalker. I am just very, very, interested in everything you do."

You are just so relationship healthy! I love it!

Hope you are feeling better btw :heart:

 

[WildTrappist]

Some people, I love. I love my partner but differently than I love my Mom. I love my dog, but I don't LOVE my dog if you get my drift. So in lieu of trying to explain the quality of each kind of love I have added the "bacon-o-meter".

I love you like bacon is truly high regard in friendship and gratitude. I love you like salad is good, but not as good as bacon. I love you like oatmeal is something I might say to a nurse who is caring for me after a surgery-because of the comfort factor. The system works for me.

I trust all of you to use my "Bacon-o-meter" at your discretion and to even spread the wisdom around. I feel it really clears up a deeply complicated emotional minefield from confusion.. Lol.

Peace to all of my VanDwelling Peoples.
I love you like Hot Chocolate in the storm here in PNW.
Alla

 

[RV-Hopeful]

Large HUGS! Virtual hugs as really good too!!