dualhammers said:
... when you have major depression ........ after expenses $20/mo to spend isn't much.
Ouch, major depression, and only a $20 budget to do something. That one might indeed be a tough one to figure out.
To do a complete build in only a month, is doable, as has been pointed out. But you might need to consider something way simpler than that.
If at all possible, then the ridgid foam boards are your warmest options.
But the cheapest option might be cardboard, as it could possibly be had for free.
And perhaps the simplest cardboard structure might be a multilayer-cardboard sleeping pod.
Here is an example of a delux version of such a sleeping pod.
Otherwise, fixing one draft issue at a time, will bring you forward towards a warmer van.
And if at all possible, try to also include one activity every so often (preferably at least once a week) of interacting with (new) good people. A change (or new input) of humanistic environment might be one way to fight depression.
My own philosophy about depression is; that your body is telling you to slow down, and re-group.
Re-group, re-think,and re-test your (what feels like) instinctive attitude responses and (what feels like) instinctive action respons patterns, that you have so far relied on to keep you alive.
I have found it near impossible (or at least very difficult) to re-think such fundamentals, as near instinctive behavior, alone! On my own.
Hence my suggestion to try to seek out new people (but good non-judgmental people), who are significantly different in many aspects of life, than what you have so far been accustomed to.
If you are however on your owbn with this battle, here are a few methods and ways to take on the challenge of depression (well they also work, in the company and with the help of others);
- start to to become very honest with yourself. About how you feel and perceive things.
- and remember to take a long pause - in the company of those feelings and perceptions. And try to uncover what might actually be underneath the first emotions being registered.
- and pause again - before moving on to the next natural step of (instinctive) action, namely trying to make sense, of those feelings, and perceptions and the environment and what you need and want and.... making it make sense.
- And once you have decided the connections, try to re-examin, to see if there could be alternative connections. And the try to simplify.
And remember to pause before each step.
- and again pause - before choosing what to do when those feelings are present. Before choosing to on an action.
- and once you act, then be very observant of:
a) what seems to work?
b) what does not seem to work so well, in order to get you to where you actually want to be (or feel), and
c) chose something to focus on in the very near future, that will test new approaches, and then rinse, pause and repeat a, b and c.
This is of cause an extremely compact and simplified description. Of what I would consider to be vital work, of how to deal with true (long term) depression.
I do however find these steps and methods, simple as they may be, to be highly effective to help to bring about any kind of significant change in otherwise (apparently) instinctive connections between outer environment, feelings and perceptions, and how one appears to instinctively react to ones outer world.
It can however be something that can be very difficult to do on your own. Hence my suggestion to seek out very different people.
Three methods to do this work alone, can however be to
- meditate, and/or
- verbalizing. Yes, start talking to yourself. And/or
- write daily notes.
And once you learn how to use (or combine) the four methods - the three mentioned just above, and the fourth; seeking out new and very different (but good) people - then you will have developed a new life skill that may prevent you from ever getting stuck, in a groove, for months, once the state of depression hits next time.
As you now have the tools to readily help you create change and newness, if your body ever again tells you, that your current methods are not up to it - up to to keep you alive in the manner that you want to be alive - and deserve to be alive.
I don't think that drugs will ever solve a long-term depression state.
At most, drugs can pause (or limit) the strength of the groove, the record of your life, has gotten stuck in. So it gets easier to do the brain work.
But in order to move past a long-term depression. To move far enough away from the groove, then I find brain-work, brain re-organisation, like I have just described, to be essential to stay out of just getting (re)trapped in the old or the next dysfunctional groove in life.
So if you can manage to create a sleeping pod, or reduce draftiness of your van - combined a few daily brain exercises - then you might indeed be able to bring about a new level of sustainability in your life, even with the winter being very much upon your location.
I hope this has made some sense to you.
And perhaps you need to only focus on the staying warm part, in order to focus enough time on be prepared in only a month. But that will be okay too.
I do however believe that you are among some of the right people, as tough and limited options situations, does not seem to be an unknown to most people here. And neither does thinking out of the box, to find uncommonly practical and usable solutions.
So please keep us posted about your efforts, and the next questions you may have, of what to do. Okay?
