Were/are you scared to start?

rabiesandpeewee · Apr 29, 2013

Thank you, Wandering Rain. I was having a particularly bad day, and am slowly getting used to this. We all have bad days, but I think, as Bob says in "How to live in a Car, Van or RV," there is a noticeable yin and yang to vandwelling, that you don't experience while living in the all-the-time comforts of a house. Some days are terrible, but some are fantastic. Also, this will get easier as time goes. It's been wonderful weather lately, so my dogs being hot hasn't been too much of an issue. I think it's wise to keep from letting them out anywhere I shop, or hang out in the van, because they blow my cover as a work van. Also, whenever I get back from walking them, I drive somewhere new. Cars in vehicles make people act irrationally, no matter what the weather. And things ARE looking up. I found someone who said I could crate the dogs at her house while I'm at work, if it's hot weather. I hope you are doing well. Have a great week! <img src="/images/boards/smilies/wave.gif" class="emoticon bbc_img">

my_vantasy · Apr 29, 2013

Glad to hear things are better today. I was concerned after your last post. That's great that you found a safe place to crate your doggies on hot days while you are at work. Hang in there!

WanderingRain · Apr 29, 2013

You're welcome. I am glad to hear you found a place for your dogs during the day. Yea, hang in there. It was a challenge for me whenever I need to run out to go to the bathroom outside of the van as well. We do get used to having a toilet right there in our own homes. But I was also excited about getting away with something. <img rel="lightbox" src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" class="bbc_img"> Like it's a secret life that only I and a few others know about. And as a thought, people used to not have their own toilets in the past or even in poorer areas of the world today. The fact that even we in our vans can run into a McDonald's where there is a clean toilet bowl and running water is a wonder enough. For many, just having water to drink each day is a challenge. Every now and then, I renew my perspective in life about this for I have seen true poverty like you would not believe. Billions around the world would positively be envious of my former setup in the van. I had extra clothes, I had a small porta potti (I was just too lazy to clean it up afterwards which is why I used public restrooms which are plentiful), I had a month's worth of food at any given time... All these things still put us in the top 10% of the world's wealthy --the other 90% living way worse than us in our rolling homes. <img rel="lightbox" src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" class="bbc_img"> Whenever I see pictures of Sir Bob on his jaunts, I think to myself that over there is one happy camper. A man fully enjoying himself and making the most of the short life we are all given. <img rel="lightbox" src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" class="bbc_img"> And when I hang out with wealthy relatives and friends, I no longer think about how cool it would be to have all that stuff. Unless they were born into it, I often think about all those hours he must have spent in the office away from his children. And he would complain that he barely sees them anymore now that they've grown up. When you think about it, stress is everywhere anyway. <img rel="lightbox" src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" class="bbc_img"> If it's not being able to sleep well in a van, it's worrying about one's position in the office hierarchy, or it's endless worrying if the kids will come home intact if they stay out late. So anyway, whenever I feel down or what, I remember that I have been blessed than most and that even the humble home on wheels at least isn't shared with a family of 7. And that though I have fewer means, at least I have a fully functioning body and would not exchange this life with someone who is rich but has some kind of severe ailment. Along with this new lifestyle comes a sort of deprogramming happening in our heads as to how to live and enjoy life. We have been taught only one way to exist and now we are finding out this whole other world and are all in various stages of embracing it. And as we master new skills in this life, we find that we can truly be happy with just the basic necessities. You are right in your first post: These are our homes. <img rel="lightbox" src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" class="bbc_img"> Fully bought and paid for. I know I had a peaceful feeling in my heart when I bought and crudely furnished mine. (I am no craftsman like some of the awesome dudes on here) <img rel="lightbox" src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" class="bbc_img"> You did it your way. <img rel="lightbox" src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" class="bbc_img"> We are all proud of our homes. In a way, it's like building that first blanket tent. I never had a treehouse as a kid and now I feel I built one on wheels. Take care and may you have a good night' sleep tonight.

dragonflyinthesky · Apr 29, 2013

Well Rod, your last reply to rabiesandpeewee helped put my life into perspective. It is so easy to get into oneself and not see what we have,and  just focus what we think life should be. I don't need anything but freedom and thats not happening for a long time but my life is a whole lot better than most.  Thanks. Dragonfly

WanderingRain · Apr 29, 2013

You're welcome, Diane. We will meet eventually. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"> Till then, may you have a good week.

rabiesandpeewee · Apr 30, 2013

Hi my_vantasy. Thank you for your concern. I feel selfish taking up so much internet room complaining, but at the same time, I know that I browsed these forums prior to starting out, and it may not be a bad thing for prospective vandwellers to know that it's not all rainbows. It's hard...especially at first. Well, I had another weird noise come out of the van (a loud noise! I was looking to see if people on the street were staring) that sounded a bit like an exhaust leak (from what I can surmise from youtube). After having just spent 100 dollars to fix a coolant leak (got lucky on that one...it could have been thousands), and having previously sunk 2,000 dollars of repairs into the van in a matter of three months, I basically lost it. I drove two hours to my boyfriend's parent's house, and am parked in their drive way. Now the van's not making any noise...but you can't argue with homemade chilli! Wanderingrain, first, thank you for your thoughtful post. It's not living in a van that's stressful. Like you've stated, we are still living better than most of the world, and I like being deprived of some of America's conveniences. I guess I DIFFER from other stealth vandwellers, in that I don't LIKE the secretness of it all. I feel infinitely paranoid. For instance, the other day, I was sitting in a park with my dogs, leaned against a rock, and someone came up and asked me if everything was okay, with a suspicious look on his face. I was shocked. Was it my sweatpants and tie-dye shirt? I have since sworn off sweatpants. It's been hard to blend in...and I don't even know why. I guess people think it's weird if you spend long periods of time anywhere that's not your house. Not to mention the stares I get for being a feminine female popping out of the giant work van. I have hiked from Georgia to Maine. I can live with my house on my back...living in the van is a mixture of simplicity and comfort, for me. It's the paranoia that's driving me nuts. "Along with this new lifestyle comes a sort of deprogramming happening in our heads as to how to live and enjoy life. We have been taught only one way to exist and now we are finding out this whole other world and are all in various stages of embracing it. And as we master new skills in this life, we find that we can truly be happy with just the basic necessities." I totally agree that it takes time to learn the skills, and develop the sensible routines, that make life feel comfortable and safe. Personally, I will try to stick it out until I feel safe. At that point I will be able to decide if I still think it sucks (EDIT...I LOVE living in the van...but currently I think stealthy sucks. To each her or his own, ya?)...and will have saved some money along the way <img rel="lightbox" src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" class="bbc_img">

WanderingRain · May 1, 2013

Hello Rabies, Thanks for sharing. I don't think anyone begrudges you for sharing your thoughts honestly.  There's another guy on here named Niall who also keeps a blog of his daily struggles. Check his posts out. As a community, we try to support one another even if it's just words of encouragement. There are certainly guys who pull off not being stealthy at all. There's Tioga George who just parks his class C RV in certain spots of the city and barely gets hassled. I guess it's experience. Anyway, I understand the paranoia. I'd probably be the same if I had to move around often when I was in my rolling home (which is why I did not even move so much from my comfort area). BTW, did you ask the man why he thought something was wrong when he asked? Like if he said "you just look troubled in the face". Then, you'd know why. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"> That's great that you have a plan. Saving money is definitely a good goal to have. I know that was my goal. The van living for me was just a means to a temporary end --saving cash. And my purpose is to go overseas and live in cheap places overseas. (removes the need for a van if cost of living is lower) Anyway, yeah, everyone has their goals. I cannot really travel fully like some of the members on here for I still work full time. Even if I work online, I still have to put in my 9 hours --oftentimes more. It's just a good perk that I can work wherever there is electricity and internet access. So, indeed, we all have our dreams to achieve. Hope you and Rabies and Peewee keep cool this summer!

VanLifeCrisis · May 1, 2013

I'll be honest, I'm scared too, especially as the time to commit comes closer.  But...I am also excited.  I also have a fall back plan if i hate it or it all goes south.  Having been forced to completely change my life and start over from scratch in the past has made me want to avoid it but also proves that I can do it and be OK. I do like you did in your first post.  Weigh the benefits and fantasize about reaping them, to calm me down.

WanderingRain · May 1, 2013

That's a good point of view, Dazar. What made the whole endeavor enjoyable for me was the thought that I did have an escape route just in case. So that makes it into an extended camping experience rather than homelessness. It always amazes me that society thinks it's ok if you take off for a weekend and live rough in the woods, but there is a weird time frame that if you do it longer... suddenly, the image of you changes in their eyes. Whenever I get down about things, I remind myself that the situation is temporary and not forever. Things always change. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle">

James AKA Lynx · May 2, 2013

In the end it is a different lifestyle. Only 17% of the world have refrigerators. Almost everybody is different. Find your own to be happy. James AKA Lynx

rabiesandpeewee · May 5, 2013

Wandering Rain...yes, I feel totally supported by this forum, which is very special. I'd like everyone to know that it does not escape me for a minute that you are all strangers, but that you still care about my experience vandwelling enough to comment and give encouragement and suggestions. This forum has been a surprising and huge support for me. You are right that I should have asked the man why he asked if everything was okay. This would have been a step toward controlling the situation, instead of entering "flight" mode, which I was in all month. I have learned that I need to control the situation more, and stay calm, so that I can assess whether situations present an actual threat, or I am just being paranoid. Saving cash is a great motivation, isn't it? That's what got me started on this whole thing. Not only could I not afford rent, but living in the van is so cheap that I will actually be able to afford nice things that were totally unobtainable before. I may get my dog's teeth cleaned! Maybe I'll buy nicer food! You stay cool, as well! Dazar...having a fall back plan is fantastic. I am at my boyfriend's parent's house for a week. I ended up throwing out my back for the first time, and it's great to have a "safe place." I am in the hardest part of this whole vandwelling thing, and as Wandering Rain stated, it takes time to learn the new skills associated with a new lifestyle. Please don't let my post discourage you. At the same time, I'm hoping this post helps others who are just starting out to realize that other people went through similar experiences. I've only been removed from stealthing for a few days, but I feel excited to try it again. Thanks for sharing your emotions with me, because that makes me feel better about being nervous! Wandering Rain...yes, it is very strange that long-term camping is different than short-term camping. When you think about it, campers are vans you can easily live in. People manufacture these things! And yet, if you live in them for longer than a weekend, some people think you're unforgivably "different." My boyfriend's mom has the impression that it may be connected to the paranoia of child molesters that swept the nation in the 1980s. I was born in this decade...so I wouldn't know! Also, I hiked from Georgia to Maine on the Appalachian Trail, which took months. BUT many felt it was noble because we were making a sacrifice for the ultimate goal of reaching Maine. But, just living in a tent (which would be more fun, in many ways) is just a trashy no-no. Weird! Hi Lynx...17%? That is a very interesting statistic! I prefer having a fridge, but it's not the end of the world NOT to have one. If you're living in the city, you can go to a grocery store to get fresh produce daily, if you want! lonfu..."like cheese on a cheeseburger," what a great simile! Yes, "daily routines," I think it takes a while to develop these, but they are what keep you feeling safe, and like you have a home. I'm super excited to take the van to the forest! My boyfriend is working up in Maine, and I will be spending part of the summer camping in the public lands up there. Black bears are easier to chase away than "the law" <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"> People do make all sorts of rules, and they're just to keep other people locked in to the same lifestyles as them. Why so many people feel a need to impose their normalcy on others has always baffled me. I suppose this is the viewpoint of most vandwellers, considering we tend to be "rule breakers," to one degree or another! ----- So, I'd love to say that everything's better now, and thanks everybody, I am a happy vandweller. However, it will probably take months for that (plus, I've retreated to a house while my back recovers...I feel so old). So, I DO want to say that you all are incredible people, to respond to my post with care and helpfulness!! I hope this post helps others to feel that they're not alone in feeling nervous about starting. I will probably come back here and followup, just in case prospective dwellers are curious if things got better in my case (and I'm sure they probably will). As people have stated on here, they were nervous to start, but soon learned the ins and outs, and are comfortable with their current way of life. Best of luck to everybody. THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH <img src="/images/boards/smilies/wave.gif" class="emoticon bbc_img">

WanderingRain · May 6, 2013

Congratulations on making the Appalachian trail! That is quite a feat. Mr. Bob is right. Whatever the outcome of your latest endeavor, you can say you had the time of your life. Do give yourself plenty of time to heal and recover. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle"> May you get well soon!

Guest · May 15, 2013

Wow, thank you Rabiesandpewee for sharing your experience, you helped me feel better because I have felt things that I wasn't sure were "normal" for a newbie. I'm in the transition stage, staying in a house while I get the van ready. Though I've camped in the van before in state parks it's very different than parking in a commercial parking lot. I've parked in a parking lot only 4 times so far and I laugh at the thoughts of those nights. Though generally uneventful, the emotions of both wonderful excitement mixed with fear of sticking out like an elephant in a room, someone knocking on the door etc. are fierce. My fist night in a shopping center happened because of the fear of a severe storm that caught me off guard. I was at a park I've stayed at dozens of times over the years, to make this short ill just say the storm that was rolling in woke me up at 1:30 am and I was very exposed on a hill. I decided to get the hell outa there and head to the house but decided to sleep in a shopping center on the way back instead. The storm never made it to where I ended up and I finally fell asleep. Another time I moved three different times the same night because I didn't feel comfortable enough, thought everyone was going to see me and think who or what is that strange guy in the white van up to??? There is more to the story but I wanted to say you helped me feel like what I'm dealing with is something I have to go through in order to be able to enjoy the benefits of the vandwelling lifestyle. It is a major lifestyle change, and though I have no idea as to what you are going through exactly, I do feel less alone. Everyone here had to go through their own growth period and you're doing the same thing. I admire your courage and sense of adventure to have done what you have already. Just one night in a van in a strange place is more adventure than most people experience in months or even years. Keep the faith, you and everyone else on here are in this together, what a wonderful group of people to be a part of, right?

offroad · May 15, 2013

Just have to say really liking this posting message discussion.

To add to the discussion. Start reading books on LIVING ALONE. Here is one by Barabara Feldon (the TV star). It takes time to adjust to living alone, and being okay. Plus being alone on the road can be scary. There are several books on AMAZON about living alone and liking it.

http://www.amazon.com/Living-Alone-...UTF8&colid=2C7YGJZLBJMHO&coliid=I6KKRQGB7H47S

Also have to recommend having a CELLPHONE (newer is better with improved GPS) to allow dialing 911 if you needed to (911 works even on canceled cellphones, as its required). The police are your friends not your enemies. Has anyone dialed 911 on a cop? If you are in the middle of nowhere and someone pounds on my door, how am I sure it is a cop? and not some impersonator in a shirt.

You can get a RESCUE BEACON to have more security also. options.

http://www.amazon.com/ACR-PLB-375-R...TF8&colid=2C7YGJZLBJMHO&coliid=I1EZGYRXSRR4S9

http://www.amazon.com/DeLorme-AG-00...TF8&colid=2C7YGJZLBJMHO&coliid=I1LGLI0CGL1CMD

offroad · May 15, 2013

also look at this for some further ideas about protection device apps. This will not save you from being stupid.  but they might give you ideas about what could be helpful. Read the comments section for several competing alternatives <A href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/06/26/cl...aunches-in-us-with-free-offer-to-new-yorkers/" target=_blank rel=nofollow>http://techcrunch.com/2012/06/26/cl...aunches-in-us-with-free-offer-to-new-yorkers/</A>

caseyc · May 16, 2013

My van is also the tree-house I never had as a kid, ha ha!  Actually, it's way better than a tree-house.  My van is more tricked out and pimped out than any tree-house could ever be. <img class="emoticon bbc_img" src="/images/boards/smilies/biggrin.gif"><img class="emoticon bbc_img" src="/images/boards/smilies/rofl.gif">   I figure if I ever have to live in this thing full time one day in the future, I want for it to be as comfy as possible. I'm currently taking my van out regularly for weekend camping trips to test out everything.  That's how I get more comfortable with my van over time. Each time I come back from a camping trip, I start tinkering about how things can be improved.  After my last camping trip, I installed a whole bunch of towel racks everywhere along the van walls and doors (eg: paper towel rack, toilet paper rack, bath towel rack, various other wall racks and hooks of all sorts).  I went to a bunch of different stores like "The Container Store", "Bed Bath & Beyond" store, "The Home Depot" store, and picked up a large variety of racks and hooks and had them installed all throughout the interior of the van.  My van is now very organized, hyuck! Okay, okay, I admit, I'm also slightly @nal in addition to being paranoid, haha!  I do appreciate organization and cleanliness though, just my thing. I previously had a 23' Class C RV for a short time and sold it for a loss.  When I slept in that RV while parked in city streets, I felt constantly paranoid that everyone and their grandma was staring at me.  I went so far as to only go into the RV at nighttime after the sun went down so nobody would see me enter the RV.  When I actually entered the RV, it would be through the side door so to help avoid detection of entry.  I would then place reflector shades on the windshield and both front door windows.  Everything inside the RV was dark with no lights on.  Now THAT is paranoia!  So I can certainly sympathize with the OP of this thread. With my current van setup, I'm still slightly paranoid, but nowhere near as much as when I had the Class C RV due to its size.  I feel a lot more comfortable driving my van around town and other parts.  But driving that darn RV was a nightmare, I'm glad I got rid of the RV.

CrossCountryGal · May 16, 2013

I've enjoyed this thread very much and have learned much from it.  A couple of things I'd like to throw out there that have worked for me. Greet strangers first.  Really - it's throws them a bit off and instantly you register as relatively safe, so long as your appearance is within the normal range

Something as simple as a smile and "how's it going?" When boondocking in the city, have a story.  If approached I mention that I'm meeting friends for a camping trip, they were delayed, and I'll be moving on shortly.  Depending on the response I get determines how much longer I stay in that spot.  I boondock in a big green shuttle bus, so there's no stealth for me, but privacy is achieved with black-out curtains (Walmart purchase I customized to fit my window openings.) As a solo female, I like that I never have to exit my bus to get to my sleeping quarters. I step into the back, drop the curtain that separates the front from the back, and I'm home. Relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy.

Guest · May 20, 2013

"I do the whole I'm deaf thing, and he just walks away, and then drives off!" You gotta teach me how to do that. Lol jk. But no seriously.

LucyImHome · Jun 18, 2013

I've been at it full time for a few weeks now. Lifestyle change indeed! It's been a roller coaster of emotions. Mostly because ongoing mechanical trouble with my truck and not having anywhere else I can live but the truck. I may have to swap engines, after spending $2100 to have the top half rebuilt.  I've also had an eye opening of who my friends are.... or aren't. Thought I had more moral support than I do. I've kinda' resigned myself to being alone, but it still gets to me sometimes. I have a safe place to park evenings and night, but I have to go in search of a/c in the daytime, with temps over 105. Having car trouble when you're in a house is not as serious as that same trouble when your car is your home. My mechanic knows I'm "homeless", my son 2 states away knows, and the friend whose apt I'm parked at knows.  People just can't get their head around living in a vehicle. My friend is trying to get an extra apt in this 4 plex that she could use for storage and she'd let me use it to camp in, no fridge/stove but bathroom & electricity, but I'd have to pay her $200+ per month. I've told her I'm only making $300-500 mo. plus all my car repair expenses.  I know it'll get easier, better. Everything will eventually get resolved. Just getting to that place..... I'm very grateful for this site. Like minded souls.

ilovemyvan · Jun 20, 2013

Hi Rabiesandpeewee, I've been thinking about you and wondering how you're doing. I hope all is well with you and that you have found something that works for you. All the best to you. Nicole

Were/are you scared to start?

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