Warning over 18 only : You walk back to your vehicle after exiting a store . .

[Silver]

You walk back to your vehicle after exiting a store with your purchases.
A street woman approaches you asking for a cigaret.

You feel highly uncomfortable.  
She passes close enough to your shopping cart to swipe items . .
What do you do?

1 ) Tell her to leave you alone
2 ) Tell her to stop and not come closer
3 ) Ignore her
4 ) Tell her no & hopes she goes away




Scenario 2 :
A man approaches you @ a gas station wanting gas or gas $$.

He walks to within grabbing distance of you.
What do you do?

I bought a personal alarm which is fairly loud.  It’s not rechargeable however.  

 

[BradKW]

hmm, well...you seem to have omitted some basic scenario details here that make answering #1 difficult, such as age, appearance, price...

With scenario #2, you're being robbed with the appearance of choice. I'd either give the guy some money or use getting the money as an excuse to reach a weapon such as a gun or taser...can't see setting off an alarm will do you immediate favors with someone brazen enough to pull an intimidation scam at the pumps...

 

[LeeRevell]

As I generally use a cane these days, I have a weapon with a bit of reach. I also can move as they try to invade my "bubble". I also use situational awareness, making sure I know if someone is getting too close.
Of course every situation is different, and can go sideways real quick.
Planning to get my CCW soon, for such occasions of personal threat. But that brings serious responsibility. Can't just draw down on that unarmed baglady.... ;-)

 

[GotSmart]

Both are scenarios I face every time I go to the store.  

If someone is hungry enough to steal food from my shopping cart in front of me, they obviously need it more than I do.  I still would report it, (camera) so they have a chance of getting official help.

I face the gas scammers every day.  Since there are cameras in every gas station, I tell them sorry,  I just spent my last $ on fuel I need to take my sick (fill in the option) to the hospital.  Then go back to what I was doing. 

If you feel like a victim, you are setting yourself up to be one.  

I have given money to people in need, but now I am more likely to offer food.

 

[cyndi]

I just say sorry and go back towhat I am doing.

 

[djkeev]

Being able to say "no I don't have extra to give" with a degree of believability really depends on the vehicle you are filling.

A 2017 tricked out Mercedes Sprinter Camper screams "I HAVE MONEY!!!" .......
A old Ford converted Van? Not so much.......
With the Mercedes Sprinter you'll need a different line.

Dave

 

[ccbreder]

GotSmart should move to a different neighborhood.

 

[jimindenver]

I am lucky that at my size I don't deal with to many intimidation scams. Were I to really think the woman was going to swipe my groceries, I would move the cart away from her, put myself in between, etc. That said I have handed out a lot of cigarettes and even some cash if I thought the people really needed it.

 

[ArtW]

Scene 1
Sorry, I don't smoke
This is facilitated if you don't smoke, or are not currently 'lit up' and don't have ciggs currently on you

Scene 2
Sorry man, can't help you

In neither scene do I see any need, yet, for alarms, screaming, etc. Believe it or not, some folks who approach you at a gas station for gas, SURPRISE! just need gas, and some derelict old ladies who ask for a butt just want, SURPRISE! a butt.
Just because a person looks scary, and you're uneasy, doesn't mean they're a threat, although, especially with the 'scary man' image you posted, it's easy to make the leap of assumption both you and Brad seem to have made

BTW, nice little spin presenting a 'scary man' image, but no 'scary old derelict lady' image, almost guaranteed to elicit the visceral response you wanted
How about some context, instead of images selected to promote an emotional reaction

If the derelict lady does prove to be a threat, it depends, sadly, on your sex
if the bag lady attacks, and you're a man, you better damn well run, because nearly all states operate on one or another version of the 'duluth model' dealing with inter sex violence, which in almost all cases, will result in your arrest if the woman is injured in the attack, even if she hits you and breaks a nail, and you never raised your hand
If you're a woman, you can defend yourself
If the gas seeker proves to be a threat, well, i carry no alarm, but I do carry various things that can cause pain, bleeding, and maiming, or just pain (pepper foam) and I have a fair bit of training in combatives, and a not inconsiderable amount of experience applying same in the real world
If you are that afraid of derelicts and men asking for gas money, maybe some actual self defense training is in order, in stead of 'make a lot of noise and pray' tactics

 

[GotSmart]

GotSmart should move to a different neighborhood.

They come in to panhandle from other neighborhoods.    

 

[GotSmart]

BTW, nice little spin presenting a 'scary man' image, but no 'scary old derelict lady' image, almost guaranteed to elicit the visceral response you wanted
How about some context, instead of images selected to promote an emotional reaction

As scary as I could find... (Short video.  30 seconds)



Or this 3 minute one.

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

Its common to have similar scenarios out here, anywhere. Bad things happen but not usually. I left a got smarts neighborhood. Those neighborhood s have character. Carry yourself upright, don't daydream don't look like a victim.

I'm polite and say no unless I choose to give. I show respect . Then I go about my business.

Body carriage is important. I've only had a few men approach to close. A firm saying step back has always worked. Don't drop eye contact, that was disastrous once.

Its a wonderful world out here. Embrace it.

 

[MrNoodly]

So what's "over 18 only" about this?

 

[ArtW]

Pretty scarey old lady, that took 2 minutes

 

[Sameer]

You give her a cigarette if you have one or a dollar bill if you can afford it.
You tell him you have no money and live in a van!
You continue on with your life not being afraid of anything!

 

[Headache]

I'm with Art W on the description of how this was presented and with Cyndi on the response. Just because I'm scared or wary of a person doesn't mean they are trying to rob me, but I also try not to set myself up to be in those kinds of situations. I always park on the opposite end of the store entrance where the parking is less crowded at 2 popular local stores but I'm also parking where a camera is pointing directly at my vehicle. When someone walks towards me I look directly at them, I don't ignore them.

 

[djkeev]

In my younger days my GF (now wife) and I would go to NYC for the evening just to play.

About this time the homeless discovered paper towels and windex.
At a stop light they would "clean" my windshield.......uninvited of course...... And then demand money for the service they just provided you!
I ran more than one red light simply getting away from them.

I never paid and just drove away but that was back in the 60's and 70's, a less vicious time period for the homeless. The homeless then were largely mental cases, not angry people beaten down by a bad economy, few options and poor choices.

Dave

 

[Silver]

 A firm saying step back has always worked. Don't drop eye contact, that was disastrous once.

Do tell us the story!
How about saying "Stop!  Stop ! That's close enough!"

 

[Silver]

You give her a cigarette if you have one or a dollar bill if you can afford it.

That just encourages bad habits & emboldens street people to approach even more . .
& sometimes they get aggressive.

outside a drug store I heard this thug yell out "You got 5 dollars ?!"
He kept yelling it too.  I think he was asking every one that pass by him . .
& the store manager did nothing.

 

[USExplorer]

I'm one of those oddballs who doesn't smoke but keeps a pack in his glovebox. (Backstory: For every 100 smokers who drops empty cigarette packs, one drops a half-full pack and doesn't realize it. With lighters the ratio is 5 to 1.) If someone asks me for a smoke and I am near my truck I will probably just hand them the pack and a lighter and crack a bad joke about cancer and quitting.

About groceries: I'd probably offer her some groceries if she keeps looking at them. If she tries to take them, I would just remark you could have asked first. In any case it is unlikely I would be "highly uncomfortable".

Aggressive panhandling: I'll be blunt but a majority of the guys I've seen asking for money were bitter cringing losers. There's no way most of those guys were going to try any strong-arm tactics. Now some of them might try to shame you or call you names if you refuse, but they won't go any farther than that.

Now, there are a significant minority of panhandlers and others that could be seen as a threat. I've been woken up at 2 am by a head stuck in my truck window asking me for weed or cigarettes. They had to call loud enough to wake me through my earplugs. I've had people walk right up to my driver window in a parking lot and lean their arms on the window sash while asking for money. I've had tweakers get well within my personal space asking for money. I've met guys who thought the way to greet a stranger was to poke their chest and say hey. Hell, I've had molesters close in on me under pretense of friendliness.

I don't know if I have just been lucky or if I have properly judged their character and determined them not to be an immediate threat, but in any case I did not get beyond a vague feeling of unease, and there was no harm done.

In tough situations, I don't raise my voice beyond the level needed to ensure that I am heard. The idea that other people would come to my aid never enters my mind, so alarms whistles horns and other calls are worthless to me and in fact counterproductive. If I am (hypothetically) trying to rob someone quietly and they set off a frickin' rape whistle or car alarm I know I'd be extremely pissed and will probably take rather drastic measures that would end badly for the victim. Same goes for pepper spray, which in the hands of a panicking victim is rarely aimed well enough to provide any incapacitation. Some say the same about a firearm but the truth is that the vast majority of perps are afraid of, not angered by, lead flying in their direction, or the threat thereof. Pepper spray is useful for attacking dogs and people whose violent behavior does not meet the "risk of serious injury or death" threshold.

Casual "Second Amendment" remarks are among the most effective in this gun-toting age against toughs who think they can scare money out of you without any explicitly violent remarks or actions.

A tactic I used once: I have belt holsters on my left hip containing a flashlight and cell phone. When I was accosted in a dimly lit area by a suspicious panhandler, I calmly and politely asked the other party to step back a little, while turning my left side away from me and pulling the jacket up and over in the manner of uncovering a holster.

Always your #1 priority: TAKE CONTROL OF THE SITUATION. I am not a socially confident person, but I have no problem asserting myself in a defensive manner. Practice with friends if necessary. Many muggers and other bad hombres will accost you to "smell for fear" and test your defenses. Self defense experts call this the "interview process". If you are a hard target, they will move on.