Today is D-Day. Should I do this?

[SaltySeaWitch]

4 nights isn't enough time to decide imo. Make a time commitment before you throw in the towel. Say 3 months maybe. One thing that is amazing about humans is our ability to adapt and overcome. Focus on the money you are saving, that money can go towards your business and fun. Making a long bucket list. I did and it gave me goals to work toward that makes sacrifice seem minimal in comparison to getting to do those things. Jack Canfield recommends 100 things you want to be, 100 things you want to do, and 100 things you want to have, for a bucket list. It really helps to find out who are you are and what is truly important to you. Just my 2 cents.

The Tao teaches all suffering is from wanting what we do not have. It's a mindset. If you stop wanting what you lack, you become grateful and happy for what you already have. I'm not a Buddhist but it makes sense to me. Gratitude is the key to being happy imo. You have a nice rig, a business dream, and many things to choose to be excited about.

I wouldn't have a partner that didn't have the same life goals as me. Some people are on our path for a short period of time because their path is different and that is okay. The important thing is to stay on your path and not let anything steer you from that. I think Nobody gave you great advice above.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[ice_maiden]

Hindsight is 20/20, but what is behind you no longer matters.... you can't change the past. And looking to the past doesn't really change the future.
Look forward...it's positive. Looking behind is negative.

You are now in a position to change anything you are not comfortable with. Don't feel comfortable? You can MOVE. Cheaply!

Not comfortable with renting at your friends? I don't know about Atlanta but around here (N Texas) you can rent a lot in a RV park for $300 or LESS depending on amenities. This would give you a chance to look around for a situation that makes you comfortable.

Comfort and Happiness is a state of mind .... only YOU control that state!

Good luck traveling forward

 

[Patrick46]

YES, I'm with the Ice Maiden on getting a spot at an RV park.
You'll have everything thing you'll need, as far as electricity, water, showers, and even community.

Actually, most RV parks have bulletin boards, and you can advertise your computer repairs there. Heck, you may be able to build up your business right there from the park!

I too agree that you need to develop a new mindset from where you're at.

$1200 a month for an apartment vs $300 for an RV space?? Really?? you're having an issue with this??
It sounds like a huge way to save money to me, and this is where you start your transition into your new life.


Here's the danger you need to be aware of:

moping about in your RV, focusing all your energy on all you've gone through recently, (the loss of your relationship, your apartment, and maybe the business you wanted)...and not getting serious about developing your new life and income, thus, burning through your savings and ending up with nothing!!

Now is the time to get REAL SERIOUS about getting your butt outta bed in the morning, and getting very serious about making yourself sit down and start your workday. If you don't do that, then this new plan WILL fail...and you'll have only yourself to blame for it. (and depression will surely follow)

You can do this...but it's time to get serious!

All the best to you Sir! Your future awaits

 

[rvwandering]

It does take awhile to get used to sleeping in parking lots but it sounds like you do have some choices and are not restricted to living right in the city.  If you're 62 or older you can camp at federal campgrounds for 1/2 price. There are a lot of Corp of Engineer campgrounds within 50 miles of Atlanta - http://www.allstays.com/Campgrounds/Georgia-army-corps-campgrounds-maps.htm

If you must stay in the city seek out the places where you will be comfortable parking. Walmart is one of the best places for this but unfortunately Atlanta is one of the cities that has banned overnight RV parking in many Walmart lots. You may have to head to the outskirts. Once you find good spots rotate between them. http://www.allstays.com/c/walmart-georgia-locations-map.htm

 You may want to try other big box stores such as Kmart, Home Depot and Lowes. Even though they are not opened 24 hours there are usually cars in the lots from night shift workers.

 

[cyndi]

have a conversation with your friend. give him a chance to set up boundaries with a trial period or even a chance to reneg on the deal. I'd do that before I ruined a friendship or looked at RV parks.

 

[ascii_man]

I'm going to second that you should start in an RV park or campground. I think you need to do this in stages: college students could make the transition over the summer, and people on SS or Disability can make the adjustment a full-time job, but you have business responsibilities which take up a lot of your bandwidth. I'm in a similar boat, as I'm making a career change which has been more challenging than expected, and I have a long commute.

I sent you a PM about Step 2.

Also, if you do eventually return to apartment living someday, I suspect that a studio in a 55+ complex would cost a lot less than $1200/month. But SSW is correct that it's way too soon to make that decision.

And while I agree that $300 isn't very much for a while, I lived with friends for a while due to my commute and it was kind of awkward. Since campgrounds are probably close in price (and far less than the $1200), I would start by being self-sufficient and ignoring your friend, if things are already going south before you've even spent a single night there. Although you say he wants the money, I have a feeling that he also will have some Big Savior Complex about how he's "helping" his "homeless" "friend", completely ignoring that $300 is a huge amount of money to pay for renting a stupid driveway.

 

[SoulRaven]

It does take awhile to get used to sleeping in parking lots but it sounds like you do have some choices and are not restricted to living right in the city.  If you're 62 or older you can camp at federal campgrounds for 1/2 price. There are a lot of Corp of Engineer campgrounds within 50 miles of Atlanta - http://www.allstays.com/Campgrounds/Georgia-army-corps-campgrounds-maps.htm

If you must stay in the city seek out the places where you will be comfortable parking. Walmart is one of the best places for this but unfortunately Atlanta is one of the cities that has banned overnight RV parking in many Walmart lots. You may have to head to the outskirts. Once you find good spots rotate between them. http://www.allstays.com/c/walmart-georgia-locations-map.htm

 You may want to try other big box stores such as Kmart, Home Depot and Lowes. Even though they are not opened 24 hours there are usually cars in the lots from night shift workers.

The odds are that if overnight parking is banned at Walmarts in a certain area, then there's a city or county law against it, and parking in ANY parking lot could get you into trouble.

An RV park sounds like it may be a good fit your you, and then get a small cheap commuter car to drive until you're ready or able to go full time.  Connecting & disconnecting your RV every time you want to go somewhere can become a real drag quickly.

 

[RialtaRalo]

Thanks to everyone for your replies and suggestions. I went ahead and parked at my friend's house. So far so good.

I've been working hard on maintaining my remaining clients. So that's where my focus has been.

Today I started to feel claustrophobic. I have too much stuff in here. Haven't had a chance to finish organizing... and throw more stuff away.

I'm going to try and stop complaining. It doesn't help. Things could be worse. I'm also going to try to stop dwelling on the past. As someone said above, the past is negative. The future can be positive.

So far, I don't seem to mind living in the RV. Being on private property helps as it at least allows me to feel safe. Still, my biggest worry is maintaining and growing my income. I still haven't figured out where I'm going to focus going forward. But it's looks like it will continue to be IT related. That just makes the most since even though I've been wanting to switch to a different field. But divided focus is what got me where I am right now.

We've had really nice weather the last few days. Tomorrow I'm going to ride my bike. I was an avid cyclist for years but fell off over the last year or so. But I really need exercise now. Hopefully it will help my attitude also. Rain is coming on Friday. Not looking forward to that.

My friend is expecting me to be here for months, but I just can't see that happening. Sitting here is not what I had in mind. Yet I don't have anywhere to go...yet. But if I can maintain my current income and make arrangements for someone else to handle onsite visits, I'd like to hit the road. Where and how far I don't know yet but I can't just sit here. I don't even think it's legal. We are in a neighborhood. No HOA though (Thanks God).

Ok, I know I'm just rambling. I'm still looking forward to the day when I fall in love with living in my RV. But I guess that won't happen until I hit the road... and increase my income. Hopefully when I get caught up with my clients and take some of the stress off, the ideas will start to flow. I'm trying to stay optimistic.

Got too much stuff in here, stuff in storage, a car and a bicycle. None of which I can take with me in this tiny RV. So more things to get rid of. Yet I'm already missing things I sold or gave away. I guess the transition is easier when you lose everything first. But I'm thankful that I had a choice and was not forced into this situation. Like I said, things could be worse.

I've left out a lot but it's not positive so I won't discuss it. Time to get cleaned up and get some rest. The tanks fill up too fast. Only 16 gallon black and 6 gallon gray. 20 gal fresh. 3 gallon hot water. Better than nothing though, right?

RialtaRalo

 

[WriterMs]

Even though the driveway is not what you eventually want, you can look at it as a great first step. You have a place to park where no one should bother you for this month. So you don't have to spend time looking and moving each night right now. Great -- this gives you more time for de-cluttering and getting the business more focused.

But to keep yourself from being depressed, consider giving yourself some great scenery on days that you need to move to dump your tanks. If you are going to be moving anyway, why not on those days drive to a pretty park? Get yourself out of the van and work on a picnic table, for instance. Get some sun and fresh air. At the end of the day, you'll then appreciate having a safe place to return to.

Just an idea.

 

[ascii_man]

You definitely can, and should, keep your bicycle. Worst case, in a rear rack (hitch-mounted?), but you could try a front rack and many store them indoors.

Here is the World's Most Famous Rialta dweller to inspire you:
http://tynan.com/living-in-a-small-rv-introduction

I wouldn't worry about the legality in the absence of an HOA until you get an official complaint: you are on private property with the permission of the owner, which is about as good as it gets.

I also think maybe you should just focus on your business and getting comfortable and organized in the RV for now and don't worry too much about the site visits. The idea of a nearby RV park is good. Get into a routine for servicing your tanks...try a few different places...do you do it at a truck stop?

One step at a time!

 

[ascii_man]

Good work keeping up with your business.

You definitely can, and should, keep your bicycle. Worst case, in a rear rack (hitch-mounted?), but you could try a front rack and many store them indoors.

Here is the World's Most Famous Rialta dweller to inspire you:
http://tynan.com/living-in-a-small-rv-introduction

I wouldn't worry about the legality in the absence of an HOA until you get an official complaint: you are on private property with the permission of the owner, which is about as good as it gets.

I also think maybe you should just focus on your business and getting comfortable and organized in the RV for now and don't worry too much about the site visits. The idea of a nearby RV park is good. Get into a routine for servicing your tanks...try a few different places...do you do it at a truck stop?

One step at a time!

 

[RialtaRalo]

Tynan is the reason I bought the Rialta. He seemed so happy in it and to me it was just the right size. Also, he was in California where I wanted to go. Problem is, it was 2009. Now there are laws against living in vehicles in California and a lot of other states. Bummer.

Tour of Tynan's RV


I bought the exact same floorplan.

Working on income is my top priority. Also, I've been listening to an audio book entitled "The Undefeated Mind". It talks about the true source of happiness which is having a sense of purpose and being of value to others. This is definitely an area I need to work on. Not sure how I found that book but the timing was perfect. It is helping but I'm still often discouraged and depressed. I really need to find my purpose an dedicate my life to that so I can feel I have a reason to live. I haven't gone into it but I've really screwed up my life and I'm tired to having to navigate the obstacles I've created for myself.

I haven't moved the RV since I parked here. Driving my car when needed. I'm able to dump my tanks without moving. That's all I'll say about that.

Well, gotta run. Got to ship some things I just sold on eBay. 

Thanks,

RialtaRalo

 

[ascii_man]

Tynan is the reason I bought the Rialta. He seemed so happy in it and to me it was just the right size. Also, he was in California where I wanted to go. Problem is, it was 2009. Now there are laws against living in vehicles in California and a lot of other states. Bummer.

It does seem to be increasingly difficult. Some of those laws have been overturned by the courts, though.

I haven't moved the RV since I parked here. Driving my car when needed. I'm able to dump my tanks without moving. That's all I'll say about that.

It's a good idea to go for a drive every week or so to keep your mechanicals lubricated and rust-free. Just idling is not really enough, because you need to get your oil and your exhaust system up to full operating temperature for a while to remove moisture, which can take a really long time without applying any load to the engine. Driving also exercises the steering and suspension.

 

[Every Road Leads Home]

It's funny how everyone thinks differently. Sounds like you still miss your apartment. To me, living in an apartment and giving someone else the majority of my money every month makes me feel trapped and claustrophobic. Right now you literally have a clean slate. You have the ability to go anywhere, and you have a roof over your head. You still have a source of income, to me it sounds like you are living a life many can only dream of. Def give it a few months, human nature is to want to go back to what you know. That's why so many people go back to the person they recently broke up with, try to get back a job they quit and why you feel like you want to be in an apartment. Think about your entire life and about decisions you have made. If you look at ones a long time ago, at the time you probably felt like they were a mistake, but years later when you look back, you realize you wouldn't have done it any other way. Humans adapt, and adapt fast to change. Once over the hump, you will probably never look back. Good Luck!

 

[RialtaRalo]

It's funny how everyone thinks differently.  Sounds like you still miss your apartment.  To me, living in an apartment and giving someone else the majority of my money every month makes me feel trapped and claustrophobic.  Right now you literally have a clean slate.  You have the ability to go anywhere, and you have a roof over your head.  You still have a source of income, to me it sounds like you are living a life many can only dream of.  Def give it a few months, human nature is to want to go back to what you know.  That's why so many people go back to the person they recently broke up with, try to get back a job they quit and why you feel like you want to be in an apartment.  Think about your entire life and about decisions you have made.  If you look at ones a long time ago, at the time you probably felt like they were a mistake, but years later when you look back, you realize you wouldn't have done it any other way.  Humans adapt, and adapt fast to change.  Once over the hump, you will probably never look back.  Good Luck!

The truth is, my original plan involved me having an income stream that I could access from anywhere. If that was actually the case, then I'd be in hog heaven. But that didn't work out, yet I felt I had to move into my RV anyway to cut expenses. Well, under my current situation, things are not so much fun. So now I'm trying to live a tradition lifestyle from an RV which makes everything harder. An I'm not saving nearly as much money as I'd hoped. I'm not really living the RV lifestyle but I'm in an RV. Stealth is non existent so it's hard to sleep on the streets comfortably. That's why I'm renting a spot in a friend yard. Not sure how long this will last.

Honestly I'd love to be able to just take off and see the country. Work at RV parks and/or national parks or do computer support from the road. That might actually work and if I was in my 20's or 30's I be more daring but as I'm 55, I'm more cautious. I'm worried I won't be able to generate enough income to not eventually run out of money. Fear may be my biggest obstacle, but it's a fact of my life. But I'm working on a plan. I going to have to take a chance sooner or later because I'm going to go stir crazy sitting here everyday. 

Thanks for your input.

Ralo

 

[Seadog729]

You are going to be fine!! Look at you, you've prepared and provided for your needs as a vandweller and it is going to work out just fine. Part of looking after your needs now is to just normalize your lifestyle and you can do that by sharing your experience here and reading about others experiences. One of the things that we all have to work through is the image of "where you should be in life, and what you should be doing". I call it "the you shoulds". I don't know the whole story, but from your posts I can tell, that you are articulate and well planned. It gets easier.

 

[SoulRaven]

Working on income is my top priority. Also, I've been listening to an audio book entitled "The Undefeated Mind". It talks about the true source of happiness which is having a sense of purpose and being of value to others. This is definitely an area I need to work on.

Thanks,

RialtaRalo

At pushing 70 now, I have spent my life finding happiness by having a sense of purpose, and being a value to others.  It has served me well.

I sometimes teach classes on how to do computer tuneups, virus removal, and data recovery remotely.  These work well for travelers since you cast your net over the whole country if you need to, meaning there is plenty of work available all of the time.  All of these can be done either on site, or remotely, and the only difference in doing it remotely is the use of something like Teamviewer, and the billing via a payment processor like PayPal.

Many people and even businesses prefer these services to be performed remotely whenever possible, and if you do a good job for a fair price, you are likely to have a life long customer.

Since a huge amount of this type of work require long waiting times for the software to do it's thing, it is not unusual for people to do multiple jobs simultaneously.  Doing so can really skyrocket your income.

Give a holler if you need more info on this.

 

[Txjaybird]

The truth is, my original plan involved me having an income stream that I could access from anywhere. If that was actually the case, then I'd be in hog heaven. But that didn't work out, yet I felt I had to move into my RV anyway to cut expenses. Well, under my current situation, things are not so much fun. So now I'm trying to live a tradition lifestyle from an RV which makes everything harder. An I'm not saving nearly as much money as I'd hoped. I'm not really living the RV lifestyle but I'm in an RV. Stealth is non existent so it's hard to sleep on the streets comfortably. That's why I'm renting a spot in a friend yard. Not sure how long this will last.

Honestly I'd love to be able to just take off and see the country. Work at RV parks and/or national parks or do computer support from the road. That might actually work and if I was in my 20's or 30's I be more daring but as I'm 55, I'm more cautious. I'm worried I won't be able to generate enough income to not eventually run out of money. Fear may be my biggest obstacle, but it's a fact of my life. But I'm working on a plan. I going to have to take a chance sooner or later because I'm going to go stir crazy sitting here everyday. 

Thanks for your input.

Ralo

YOU ARE NOT HOMELESS...YOU ARE JUST HOUSELESS      

YOU CAN'T CHANGE UNLESS YOU DO CHANGE    :s

IT AIN'T OVER 'TIL THE FAT LADY SINGS        

AND AS GARFIELD SEZ " I'M NOT FAT.....JUST SHORT FOR MY WEIGHT      :angel: 

HANG IN THERE........TJB & QUEENIE [untrained attack chihuahua]       :dodgy:

 

[Sameer]

Learn to Boondock....it is a life of great adventure. Homeless is living behind the dumpster in the alley at 5th and Main Street in Los Angeles....not in the elegant RV you have chosen. Think positive and reject the negative dialogue that can creep up on you! Good luck to you! You are embarking on a life of Peace and Happiness!

 

[RialtaRalo]

Hello Everyone,

It's been over two weeks since I've visited this forum. I see there are a few more replies. Thanks to everyone for your advice and support.

First of all, I just want to apologize for all my whining and negativity. As I read back over my posts I'm really disappointed with myself. I seem to only focus on the negative and ignore the positive. That's easy to see now...after living in the RV for almost a month now. It's not nearly as bad as I allowed myself to think it would be and it's definitely not homeless.

It's seems my worries were not of living in the RV, but of not being able to afford living in the RV. I'm the type of person that likes to have a growing nest egg. Whenever I have to dip into that (and I'm not absolutely sure how I'm going to put it back) I get really worried. So the idea of "boondocking" in random places to save money did feel like homelessness. Of course since I've moved into the RV fulltime I've been parked in my friends yard so I haven't had to try and find a free place to sleep every night. This has help me not feel homeless, especially since I have unrestricted access to his house (which I enter very rarely). He has also let me store some things in his place that has helped with the transition so I have a few more amenities than I would if I was "boondocking". So I'm kind of in a "in between" stage right now. But it's helping a lot with the adjustment. I actually don't mind living in the RV too much at all except for having to dump the black tank and refill the fresh water tank every other day. I'm not sure how well I'd cope with that if I was boondocking or stealth camping.

So about two weeks ago, right after my last post, I had an epiphany. I "thought" I had figured out how I was going to generate a growing source of income that would allow me to live comfortably in the RV and to pursue my new business venture. I have since learned that my idea is quite farfetched but before I realized that I was quite excited. I was really amazed at how quickly and how drastically my attitude had changed. I was  literally giddy with the idea of traveling the country in my little home on wheels. No more feeling of homeless. I actually felt quite fortunate and felt bad for all my "housebound" friends who couldn't do the same. That's also when I realized that all my despair was literally just in my mind. That if I change my thinking, I could change the way I had been feeling (which was hopeless).

So now, even though my idea was farfetched, I'm not allowing myself to re-enter the world of negativity and despair. I've vowed instead to continue searching for a way to live this lifestyle as it was meant to be lived. Yes, that will mean spending some time in RV parks, but as long as I can afford it...so be it. I just want to be able to travel the country and see all the amazing places there are to see (like the grand canyon). I also have this dream of hang gliding at all the top hang gliding spot throughout America... that is after I learn to hang glide.

So again I apologize for being such a worrywart. I can tell this is going to be a great lifestyle... once I work out all the details.

More exciting news to come... I'm sure!

RialtaRalo