Throwing Stuff Away

[drivebyandy]

This year I've started to love throwing stuff away.

I had a 10x20 storage unit for the last 4 years. Absolutely packed from wall to wall and to the ceiling (9-10' ceiling?).

Earlier this year I started to sort through it all. It really has been an all year project for me. This is practically everything I've owned for the first 29 years of my life and the remnants of a house and also a commercial property. And I'm a slow mover when it comes to this stuff. Very emotional and mental for me. Very DRAINING.

I've done my share of selling and donating to Goodwill, but to be honest not as much as "I should". A lot of it was pure junk/trash that I didn't have time to sort originally. A lot of stuff was damaged by mildew from being in storage. And there's been a good portion where I've spent way too much timing feeling guilty about what "the right thing" to do with an item was.

Two months ago I was finally able to stop paying my storage unit and their ever rising price. I moved what I had left into my old vintage 16' travel trailer and told myself that this would be okay. I could let this stuff sit in the trailer and be okay with it. It would be safe at my parents house, and I could hit the road guilt free.

Not so much. I've been back at it again. Doubling all my work by now taking things OUT of the trailer, back into the van, and ready to go to the dump. My new goal is to get rid of everything, or take it with me, and sell the trailer to get it out of the yard. I feel a lot better about this decision, but the STUFF is still difficult for me.

I'm getting so close.

It was hard for me to find people on the internet that would say it was OKAY to just throw things away. Obviously everyone advocates donating or selling. But when you have A LOT of stuff, and your life has been controlled by this stuff for so long, and you've been feeling a crushing weight on your ENTIRE BEING, it's time to just pitch it and live your life. And buy less in the future.

I still get hung up on the stupidest things and want to keep them. But none of this stuff fits the vision I have for my life anymore. I want to be on the road. I want to follow new passions and have new experiences.

Thankfully, it's been much easier for me to see that so much of these things won't benefit me in my new life. They could be useful, but today they aren't. To my goals, they aren't. TRASH IT! Haha. I feel so GOOD when I finally decide to just toss something that held me up for days in my mind.

 

[cyndi]

Have you ever felt so free as when you get rid of all that stuff? One of the best feelings in the world.

Congratulations!!!

 

[drivebyandy]

It really is great.

I mostly posted this in case other people were in the same boat. I've had to read so many different forum posts and blogs out there to stay motivated and tell myself that I really can get rid of all this junk, and not only would life go on, but I'd be okay too. My new soft goal is to finally get this all done, have the trailer sold, and probably get rid of my van too.. so I can take off in my motorhome around the 1st of the year. My savings are dwindling each day that goes by and it's getting to be time to just take that leap of faith and accept what happens.

 

[SoulRaven]

It took me a long time to empty the storage, give away or sell my furniture and many small things that were actually meaningless but hard to part with.

The things my kids have given me over the years are in the attic of my old house. I deeded it to my two youngest daughters when I was really sick. I have no regrets although when I visit some of my friends I am greeted by some of the 'stuff' I gave away.

The fewer things I have now I appreciate more and my life is much less cluttered.

Good luck in your 'clearance' ..Bob J.

 

[Theadyn]

I've had a hard time getting rid of some things, as well. Most recent was my late husbands things. I had kept some of his clothing, our wedding attire, 3 boxes of pictures, big blown up framed pictures we used at his wake, 2 boxes of drawings and his year books, and a big box full of his things including stuff he had on him before he passed. Sentimental things, to be sure!

I have moved twice since he passed away and every time I had to move his stuff just hurt all over again. Honestly, it wasn't doing me any good. The REAL him was in my heart and memories. This was just stuff. Stuff that made my heart hurt when I had to look at them. I decided that wasn't good. I gave away some of it, shirts family wanted, pictures to people that were in the pictures, stuff like that. I decided that the rest I would condense down to one gallon sized Ziploc baggy, only the very most special stuff. The two boxes of pictures were gone through and only the most special were kept, maybe totaling about 20 pictures, I threw the rest away. I kept one shirt. Our wedding attire, I just couldn't see donating, it would have killed me to see someone wearing that so I could not bring myself to donate it, instead throwing it away. I have a picture of us in them, that was enough.

All that stuff was just 'stuff'. It wasn't him. And I hurt less now. Condensed down from a ton of things down to a small part of the one box I will keep (it holds my important papers, my desk stuff, medicine cabinet and his baggy).

Sentimental stuff is hard, I get it. Looking back now, I don't regret my decision to get rid of those things. It was emotionally freeing. It is just stuff.. don't let the stuff own you. Some times you need to get past that to move forward in life.

 

[HarmonicaBruce]

I feel for everyone who has a hard time throwing stuff out. I kept my stuff in my father's chicken house for years. The last 3 years I've been taking stuff out and taking it to Florida where I had a mobile home with a big shed, and a storage unit. A year ago I was about to come north for the summer. I figured I should pay my storage unit for 5 months. At $100 / month, that was $500. I looked at that crap and realized I would NEVER pay $500 for that crap. Then this summer I got another storage unit.

Due to some personal family drama I have to stay in Michigan. So I went to Florida, cleaned out my storage unit, my shed and my trailer. I gave away lots of stuff, and now I have boxes of junk I need to go through.

Like what do I do with my high school sweater that I bought in 1964? I'll frame it. I went through my clothes, and started putting them in 1 gallon zip lock bags. I have about 10 bags so far. I'm plan on using these bagged up clothes as insulation for the new van. I've given away lots of harmonicas, and I only have a few hundred left.

I've watched those "hoarding" shows on TV, and I love them. They get me motivated, and they make me realize I'm not as bad as some people. I could write about this for hours, but I won't!

 

[drivebyandy]

I'm really dreading the day I have to deal with stuff from loved ones that are no longer with us. Both of my parents have a little bit of the hoarding gene and I seem to be the child that most inherited it. I also feel like I'm the only one that will step up and try to deal with it. I've definitely been thinking about that through this project. Hopefully it's not for many years to come. Hopefully I can find the strength you did, Theadyn.

I've got another load almost ready to go to the dump. I think I'll be going tomorrow no matter what, just to get what I've got ready out of here. Today, inspired by my motivation last night, I went to town on a lot of stuff. 4 more big plastic totes empty I think, plus freestanding items. I might get some more stuff in there later tonight or tomorrow morning but I'm hoping to get up early and just get it done. All the snow melted today and more is coming next week, so I'm kind of trying to shoot between the snow storms.

 

[Cherokee]

Thank you for starting this thread! I have a storage unit to go through and I'm dreading it. It's full of stuff...some of it packed in boxes, most of it in bags or just tossed in there. It's always been difficult for me to part with things, especially sentimental things like gifts from my now deceased mom. I know it needs to be done and I could definitely use the monthly fee for other things but I keep finding reasons to put it off. It's nice to read a thread like this one to gain some perspective and motivation!

 

[sassypickins]

Adding my thanks, too. Apparently, since it's all still sitting here and not moving that I can see, I need motivation to finish going through my late mom's stuff and getting it gone.

Ok, pledge to self: Find a women's shelter and donate much if not all of it. You heard it here folks.

 

[Oberneldon]

I got rid of my $50 per month storage unit with "stuff" in it. I kept it thinking I would use things again and some sentimental value. 2 years later and never used any of it and it all went to a new home. Waste of my money and as previously stated the cost of keeping the unit was way more than the value of the items!

 

[GypsySilver]

I have been doing the same thing. I had a storage building full of family "treasures" and my stuff. In this past month I have gone through all the boxes - cried and relived a lot of memories - said goodbye... All of it is going to auction and that will end 5 years of paying for the storage. YAY!!!!

At first it was very difficult but as I have gone through the last few boxes, it got a lot easier. Some things I had thought to keep wound up in the sell pile. The photos are going digital, with copies to family members. I am keeping just a few things for the RV I hope to buy. It was funny what turned out to be really important to me - and what really wasn't.

It is oddly freeing to unload, considering I felt a duty to keep it all for so long. One thought kept coming back as I was lifting and moving heavy boxes - they were heavy on the heart and just weighing me down... I will be a lot more free when this task is done

 

[akrvbob]

A thread like this one extremely valuable because we learn we aren't alone in suffering with "stuffitis" I've come to believe it's a universal sickness that we get from society and not something we should blame ourselves for. Knowing that we all suffer in the same way is very comforting I think.

Part of dealing with it is giving yourself the time you need to heal from it. If you just can't let some of the stuff go, that's okay, but don't let it stop you from changing your life. Better to lose some money and put it into storage rather than let it continue to hold you in bondage any longer.

Once you're free of it, you heart and mind will slowly change and then one day you'll be able to easily let go of it. I've seen that happen over-and-over again.

Hang in there, it gets better!!
Bob

 

[sassypickins]

Thanks, Bob, that perspective helps. I'm going to say it again, because for me saying it to others helps make it so... I'm going to find a women's shelter tomorrow to donate to. My mom would get a kick out of knowing she helped someone else even after she's gone.

 

[Luisafernandes]

Hey, it's only things. And I'm in the same boat, almost wearing the same shoes.
My wife and I separated due to her mental problems for the fourth time in 2012. But this last time around I had bought a house. Now, I didn't accumulate as much stuff as you did [emoji79], probably, but still had a house, and garage, and basement, and shed full of "useful" stuff.
She moved out of the house last winter and I unexpectedly came into possession of the house again, and all the stuff she left behind.
So I have been selling stuff ever since. Then my parents moved away and gave me their stuff[emoji47]. Lately I haven't been able to sell anything else, and with the house nearing foreclosure I'm just going to donate everything to Salvation Army. Including my "beloved" collection of books.
Yes, it's been hard selling for cheap things I bought for good money, or giving them way, or even leaving them behind like my shed. I built this thing myself with my two children helping me.

Or the trees I planted. Or the tons of rocks I moved and repurposed.
In the end it's only stuff. Now I have my van and there's only so much I can fit in there. And you know what? I don't miss anything I don't have with me in that van. Don't be afraid of letting go of things, you'll feel better not having their weight on you [emoji1][emoji6]

 

[drivebyandy]

Lots of great comments from everybody! Really does seem like a universal problem in today's world.

I just wanted to add that another part of my hesitation in this whole process has been, "Well, what if I don't like the road? Then I got rid of all of this for nothing".

But as the year has gone by and my overall life has gotten more simple and less cluttered, my 'settled life' has benefited also. While I still feel distracted by what I've still got, I'm way more focused than a year ago. I have less things pulling my mind in a million directions. I used to have a really bad problem with never being able to do anything because no matter what I was doing my mind would tell me I should be working on something else. I still get that, but just thinking about it now, it really has gotten way way better. There are only a few major things that I can more easily divide my time between.

So if I get out there on the road for real finally and decide that ehhhh maybe not, I've still got everything to gain. Maybe I decide to settle down somewhere completely new, because now I don't have a ton of stuff to deal with. Or maybe I just come back to where I grew up and put new focus on things and people I truly care about TODAY. Not what I cared about 10 years ago.

 

[sassypickins]

@Luis ~ if I became the new owner of the property where that shed is, I would admire it many, many times and wonder whose hands built it, and be glad I had the next use of it.

@andy ~ ditto about where to put focus; I couldn't agree more. I don't miss much I've parted with except that one item ______ (fill in the blank) that I hadn't seen for 10 years but of course needed the day after I gave it away ha ha.

Update: I called around today and found the perfect project to donate my mom's stuff to. Next is to go through the boxes and remove personal paperwork, photos, etc.

 

[Luisafernandes]

Thank you for saying that[emoji4]. But then you would go inside the house and hate me, even though I had nothing to do with the disaster before your eyes.

That's how she left my house. I spent weeks last winter with no heat in the house (save for two kerosene heaters) cleaning up her mess.

 

[drivebyandy]

What a mess. I'd definitely try to sell, donate, or TRASH as much as possible before that happens instead of getting a storage unit.

I, in hind sight, had plenty of time to do more (in terms of getting rid of stuff) before I lost everything. Foreclosed the commercial building, foreclosed the house, went bankrupt.. And throw a really stupid and taxing relationship into the mix and I was really overwhelmed with the scope of everything going on. I was doing everything possible to keep up a brave face and keep moving. As a result, everything just got thrown into storage at the last possible minute. Even though the whole episode dragged on for a couple years.

Had I more foresight, I would have worked a lot harder not to throw things in storage.

HOWEVER, as Bob wisely pointed out, give yourself time. I definitely needed the time. I needed 4 years of time, before I could force myself to get serious about it, get rid of stuff, move on from my past, and try to start living again.

 

[dragonflyinthesky]

@Louis, your shed is beautiful.
I'm giving a lovely Japanese Maple tree to my daughter's mother in law Carol. My kids bought it for me for Mother's Day when I moved into this house. Funny the things we care about. If I die none of it will matter.

 

[wagoneer]

had a storage unit for 6 months about 10 years ago 125 per month cheap for SF opened it up one day and thought "what the "f" am i doing. called a flea market friend with an empty van loaded him up I loaded my van and told him 50/50 he gave me 800 bucks a few months later.