Thoughts On: POF, OKCupid, Tinder, & Blendr?

[Gideon33w]

On topic please

 

[tx2sturgis]

On topic please

So....what was it again?  I have all these ladies wanting me to shave my head...sorry I got distracted....

:dodgy:

 

[CityWoman]

OP, I believe you are looking for opinions on these dating services from people who have actually used any of them, which is much more useful than judgments, prejudices, and jokes from people who never have.

I hope more actual users of these sites and apps weigh in for you.

 

[theinfamousj]

I am an user. Which service is for what is highly location dependent. I am afraid that there are no broad pronouncements that can be made. Each of us can only speak of our own personal experiences in our own locations.

Sent from my SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

 

[tx2sturgis]

....and jokes from people who never have....

And I have always been told that women like a man with a sense of humor...

Oh well.


Maybe there is an app for that.

 

[Gideon33w]

I am an user. Which service is for what is highly location dependent. I am afraid that there are no broad pronouncements that can be made. Each of us can only speak of our own personal experiences in our own locations.

Sent from my SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

So, in other words, when travelling best to have and check each. Makes sense I suppose.

 

[Gideon33w]

OP, I believe you are looking for opinions on these dating services from people who have actually used any of them, which is much more useful than judgments, prejudices, and jokes from people who never have.

I hope more actual users of these sites and apps weigh in for you.

Yes please. Thank you for your feedback so far by the way.

 

[tx2sturgis]

which is much more useful than judgments, prejudices, and jokes from people who never have.

Oh and BTW, I was on Match dot com, Yahoo Personals, eharmony, plenty-of-fish and biker-or-not...plus others I cant even remember.

That's how I know what works. And what the ads look like, and some of the nut-cases you can end up with.

Like the lady named Vicki I dated a few times. Lived in a town 75 miles from me, and single, close to my age at the time, (17 years ago), cute, loved to ride motorcycles, loved to dance, lived in the country, self employed. Etc etc.

We met, hit it off, went for a few rides, lunch then dinner, dancing, more 'stuff'.

A week later, were having a great time slow-dancing at a bar, when she stops and says, "Dont look now but my boyfriend is watching us!"

WTF?

BOYFRIEND?

We turn around and he's gone.

I get us to our table and then look back and hes out the door. Ok...figuring he's either confused about the status of the relationship or she has lied either to me, or to him, or both.

An hour later, we walk out to the parking lot and her car is destroyed!

Doors bashed in, windows knocked out, apparently  from the brick laying on the ground. He had no idea I suppose, which Harley was mine, and because it was parked near the front door, the coward left it alone.

She told me later that they were on a 'break'...whatever the hell that means.

I had a few more dates with her, but when he showed up to kick my ass...angry words were exchanged, and I stepped up to him..and he left with his tail between his legs...but not bleeding....(I'm NOT a small guy, and 17 years ago I was quite able and willing to defend myself)...

Yes it could have been nasty, and yeah I broke it off shortly after that.

I had a few more experiences with women on dating sites, some of them OK, most of them were one or two dates. Its a gamble.

Take my word for it, there are better ways to meet people, but if it works for you Gideon, I am all for it.

Just be VERY careful.

 

[CautionToTheWind]

20/20 just aired a show regarding "match made in hell"...be careful out there! Anyone can find the video on youtube too.

 

[slynne]

I have used all those sites. I went on some dates but mostly had a hard time finding anyone who held my interest. It was good for casual sex and that is about it. Now that I am older and not feeling any great need for sex I've quit  using them. I get my emotional needs met with platonic friendships which can be as meaningful as more romantic friendships. It feels good to be out of the game, actually.

 

[CityWoman]

It should go without saying that we need to be careful and keep our wits about us when dating someone new, whether we met them online, in a bar, or at a church picnic.

 

[Gideon33w]

It should go without saying that we need to be careful and keep our wits about us when dating someone new, whether we met them online, in a bar, or at a church picnic.

Unquestionably. I imagine that most of the females on the sites are pretty darn hesitant. And rightfully so.

 

[Scott7022]

Oh Gawd....Yeah, ok I'll be that guy. Today only lol!

After 51 years and a few failed relationships and a larger amount of great friendships I'll wade in. Dating sites, apps, all sprung up as a result of us disconnecting. On the phone/computer more and in front of people less. Before we met or were introduced by family and friends to people they liked. They liked us and they liked the other person and vise versa so we had something in common. A town, religion, hobby, or just our mutual friend. What is important in this is THAT WE HAD A COMMON purpose/goal/direction. Human nature we hang around with people we like because they like similar things as us.

I have used dating sites. The issue is writing about you. I write for a living, published, and have spoken at numerous book fairs and the like about writing. Speaking about that is easy. I recently joined this site. I had to do a bio post. I copied and pasted my bio and added a bit because writing about yourself is very hard. It is one perspective and if you are being honest it is not going to be all that honest. "The stories are just in my head and all I have to do is let them out." A famous Author once said. BullS78t!!! This is, as they would say in Russia, Propaganda. It is never that easy for anyone. But saying; "Well I have this character inside my head and sometimes he is so real I start to feel the way he feels. Then I think about a situation and how it might go down and let all those things play out behind my eyes while I stare off into space until it sounds good enough to put on paper." Doesn't get you invited to many late night drinks. So we write the sanitized version of ourselves and connect with a sanitized version of someone else and...Why the heck doesn't it work?
It is also hard because we think we know what we want. We think we know our idea of happy. We think we know our lives paths. We think we are in control of our lives. Then we turn 20 and we really know. Then we turn 30 and we have it totally squared away. Forty happens and finally it is sorted and perfect. Fifty comes around and...
So I actually went back and read what I saved for my dating profile from several years ago. LIAR!!! Now I am not a liar and actually am pretty critical introspective person but it wasn't correct. I was thirty something and online dating was just becoming a thing. I tried to be as honest as I could.
In my latest, and hopefully last,  relationship I really tried to be totally honest. We were both in our forties. I told her I was basically a nomad and loved to travel and the idea of living full time in a truck camper excited me in ways whips and chains never could. She followed. We have been, and lived, in seven different countries and cultures in the years since that Las Vegas Foundation Room balcony discussion years ago. But after Siberia I am not sure the truck and camper is a journey she will follow me on. People change, for better or worse, but, change is inevitable. What our relationship looks like three years from now? I don't know. But at a wise fifty I won't cheat with her friend to end it. I 'll man up and have the next step discussion and see if she is good to go or not. We will always be partners and love each other but perhaps not together as much as now.

So to your question. They work but be honest about what you want, who you are, and your own motives. As honest as you can be and be eyes wide open you are not being totally honest. You can't be. Far too many casualties and broken people in the game we call love. Don't create more jaded people that feel LOVE has been sucked out of this world.  If your looking for love. If not be honest about that and Tinder works well for that. My Georgian friends entertained many Russian tourists last year with that app. Everybody got what they wanted. No damage done.
"We should love people and use things. The problem with this world is we do the reverse far too often!"

All the best of luck finding someone to follow you on what is your and will be a shared common adventure.

 

[Cheli]

"Wanna go for a Harley ride sometime?

"I cant believe I have to explain so much of this..."

"And I have always been told that women like a man with a sense of humor..."

Yes I wanna go for a Harley ride!!!!!!  I can't believe you had to explain so much either, seriously....it was obviously a funny quirky joke.  And I find nothing more hot than a sense of humor!  And you aren't actually far off about chics diggin dudes on a Harley.  I ride myself, or I should say rode since I sold my Harley last summer.  I've been to hundreds of biker gatherings and many of those girls would not be with the same guy if he wasn't sitting on a Harley.

Anyway, back on topic.

I haven't used Tinder but my understanding is that it is just for hook ups.  I have used POF and that is how I met my ex boyfriend, and that was a huge waste of the last three years of my life.  So needless to say, I won't be using that again.

I don't judge people for using these apps, but I find they just aren't for me.  I'd rather meet someone naturally, out somewhere, by chance.

 

[highdesertranger]

Cheli welcome back. I haven't seen you post in awhile. highdesertranger

 

[Cheli]

Cheli welcome back.  I haven't seen you post in awhile.  highdesertranger

Thank you, it's good to be back.  

 

[GotSmart]

I made two horrible mistakes in online dating.  Now I just be myself and    avoid trouble.  There are a lot of lonely people out there looking for someone honest.

No games.....

 

[DuneElliot]

Anyway, back on topic.

I haven't used Tinder but my understanding is that it is just for hook ups.  I have used POF and that is how I met my ex boyfriend, and that was a huge waste of the last three years of my life.  So needless to say, I won't be using that again.

I don't judge people for using these apps, but I find they just aren't for me.  I'd rather meet someone naturally, out somewhere, by chance.

This could have just as easily happened with a guy you met off-line (as often happens)...after 3 years I don't think the dating app was at fault for that.

I would say my experiences have been fairly positive, with one recent exception. They didn't work out, not because I'd met them online, but because we had different goals or didn't have the connection needed to move forward or there was no chemistry...in just the same ways as things didn't work out with guys I met offline.

I keep using dating apps and online websites because I am just not particularly social and there are fewer and fewer opportunities for me to meet someone as I get older and more and more guys out there are married with kids, or not wanting another relationship after a divorce.

 

[user 423]

Question: I know that after meeting someone, more than likely users of these apps would do some Googling of the persons name. At what point would you try and get enough info for a background check? This question is more for the ladies but can apply to men also.

 

[tx2sturgis]

Yes I wanna go for a Harley ride!!!!!! 

SEEE!



My original response was a bit tongue-in-cheek, and different people are attracted to different things, but a man usually has to have 'game' to be in the running...

I owned three Harleys and they do attract women. No doubt about it.

But other things do also: