Thoughts On: POF, OKCupid, Tinder, & Blendr?

[Gideon33w]

Anyone have experience or thoughts on these?
POF and OKCupid look to be more for dating.
Tinder and Blendr appears more for hookups.

 

[tx2sturgis]

lol...this is what can happen when you still have that 'need to breed'...


Old fart signing out...

 

[DuneElliot]

I use POF on occasion. The biggest issue I'm running into is that I travel and live in an RV full-time...no one else on there does, at least that I've found so far. What's the point in meeting up with someone for a date who has no intention of leaving the area?

 

[Richard]

I never considered the context of 'dating as a traveler'. It got me curious so I asked Google about it. Here's one meta-site it offered:

8 Best "Travel" Dating Sites -- (That Are 100% Free)

I visited a few of the sites listed on that page just to get an initial vibe; seems legitimate enough. Enjoy!

 

[CityWoman]

Your assessment is correct, for the most part. Of the four, I only have experience with OKCupid and POF, but I've talked to people I know regarding the other two.

OKC is generally the best bet for meeting people who are looking to date and get into a relationship. It's LGBTQ-friendly and very accepting of people in all kinds of alternative lifestyles, such as relationship anarchists, polyamorists, kinksters, and swingers, so I imagine vandwellers could have success there. That's why it's so popular. But plain old straight people can do well there, too! It was much better before it was bought by Match. They used to have journals and local gatherings, and a more community feeling. But if I decide to get into online dating again, I'd reinstate my account at OKC.

Match is another option. Lots of people I know have had good experiences with Match. I just felt that Match was too public. On OKC, you can set your profile to only be visible to members.

From what I've seen, POF is more focused on sex and hookups than relationships, and I didn't like the quality of messages I got there, so I quit soon after I joined. However, I do know a few people who are in long-term relationships with partners they met through POF, which also has groups you can join for in person get-togethers and outings.

Tinder and Blendr are very focused on people's looks, from what I have been told. It's all about the picture and hooking up. One guy I met at a party told me he did date someone for about 4 or 5 months that he met on Tinder, but I think both Tinder and Blender are very much geared toward young people who only want non-committal sex.

If you do decide to go the OKC, POF, or Match route, make sure you write a good profile that tells enough about yourself and what kinds of things you like to do, and what kind of relationship you're looking for. Have a few good, clear pictures that show your eyes (no sunglasses or Halloween costumes). If you take a picture of yourself in a mirror, clean the mirror first! Don't do the typical bathroom mirror shirtless shot, women just make fun of guys who do that.

If you initiate contact with someone, don't just send a one-word message. Messages from guys who just say "Hi" or only write in texting abbreviations get deleted right away and the guy gets blocked. Don't just copy and paste a generic message that doesn't mention anything in a person's profile - we want to know that you read the damn thing and are interested in more than just the pictures.

Most of all, be patient. Women get flooded by messages and most of them are from undesirable idiots, so it might take a while before you get a reply, but if you write at least a paragraph, show some intelligence and a sense of humor, talk about things in their profile, and avoid mentioning sex or their looks in your first message, you might have a chance.

 

[tx2sturgis]

Or, you can buy a Harley.

 

[CityWoman]

So, you're saying that women are shallow and only interested in bright, shiny things or what someone drives? Or are you saying you can buy a Harley and ride off, to forget about dating and relationships?

 

[tx2sturgis]

I'm saying that many women, are attracted to men who ride Harleys.

Not all of them, but enough.

This is not sexist conjecture or myth, it is true.

And if you are older than about 13, unless you live under a rock, you know this.

I owned and rode Harleys for 21 years and nothing improves a common man's social life and expands his options for dating like owning a Harley. No dating app needed.

It's nearly as good as being rich or being a rock star...there are groupies for everything.

Most women are generally drawn to men with swagger and success.

That's been true for eons.

 

[CityWoman]

Well, I am much older than 13 and have never lived under a rock, but I will say that a Harley might appeal to many women of a certain type, just like a Mercedes might appeal to many women of a certain type, or a bicycle might appeal to many women of a certain type. And there are probably just as many women turned off by guys on motorcycles, in luxury cars, or riding bicycles. All subcultures hold an appeal to someone for any number of reasons. For me, personally, if I see a guy on a bike, I don't even notice what kind of bike it is.

Many women find beards and tattoos attractive, and many women do not. I could go on and on.

However, most women I know look for guys who are smart, kind, thoughtful, respectful of women, unafraid of their feelings, willing to express themselves, and who have a sense of humor, with vehicle of choice not even a consideration (unless they're a nomad!).

But to get back on topic, I recommend OKCupid as a dating site for anyone who isn't much part of mainstream culture.

 

[tx2sturgis]

However, most women I know look for guys who are smart, kind, thoughtful, respectful of women, unafraid of their feelings, willing to express themselves, and who have a sense of humor, with vehicle of choice not even a consideration (unless they're a nomad!).

I agree. And to a certain extent, many of the women who ARE shallow and have a vehicle 'filter' tend to be looking for a free ride.

Not all of them, we know that. But many of them are. You could say the exact same thing about those apps....you filter out the wheat from the chaff based on a picture and a profile.

The 45 year old ugly, balding, guys, with a harry back, who list chess as a hobby, play video games 7 hours a day, drive an old Toyota Corolla, and still live with mom are NOT very high on your list are they?

No matter how "smart, kind, and thoughtful" they are.

 

[Gideon33w]

I use POF on occasion. The biggest issue I'm running into is that I travel and live in an RV full-time...no one else on there does, at least that I've found so far. What's the point in meeting up with someone for a date who has no intention of leaving the area?

Well, there's at least one other person on there now ...

 

[CityWoman]

You could say the exact same thing about those apps....you filter out the wheat from the chaff based on a picture and a profile.

I've never used the apps for OKC or POF, just the websites themselves. Of course, physical attraction plays a part in mating/dating, and the profile is important if it provides enough information. But I, as well as many friends of mine, don't use only those two elements to determine whether or not we will meet someone. The initial message we get is very important, and whether or not someone is willing to exchange messages for a little while before actually meeting.

The 45 year old ugly bald guys who list chess as a hobby, play video games 7 hours a day, drive an old Toyota Corolla, and still live with mom are NOT very high on your list are they?

No matter how "smart, kind, and thoughtful" they are.

You never know what someone finds attractive. I don't often go for the classically handsome. And not everything in your description is a turn-off for me.

45? Why not? I like younger men.

Bald? I dig baldies and have dated quite a few, no problem there. Lots of women find bald men sexy. A lot sexier than the guys who are so self-conscious about losing their hair that they try to maintain a thin little rat tail ponytail.

Chess? What's wrong with chess? I like chess. My ex-husband played chess.

A Toyota Corolla? I don't give a shit what someone drives, as long as it's safe and he doesn't drive like a maniac.

Lives with his mother? Actually, I did date someone for a year and a half who rented a room from his mother, and it didn't bother me in least because he is a good man and lived his own life.

The only thing on your list that would bother me is gaming for many hours every day, because it seems like such a waste of time. But I do know people who manage to accomplish quite a lot in their lives, including being very active gamers, so I keep an open mind.

The one thing I generally cannot tolerate is a smoker, but I've made a few exceptions. Personality overrides many things.

 

[tx2sturgis]

 Personality overrides many things.

Well most of the stuff I listed IS the personality.

Anyway, my point was directed mainly to the younger types who tend to be looking at apps and websites to hook up....not us over 50 somethings.

The OP is a younger man, I assume, and I'm fairly certain he understood the inference and the humor.

I will steer my browser back from the detour before the 'law' steps in....but, I enjoyed it.

Wanna go for a Harley ride sometime?

 

[DuneElliot]

I've never used the apps for OKC or POF, just the websites themselves.  Of course, physical attraction plays a part in mating/dating, and the profile is important if it provides enough information.  But I, as well as many friends of mine, don't use only those two elements to determine whether or not we will meet someone.  The initial message we get is very important, and whether or not someone is willing to exchange messages for a little while before actually meeting.


You never know what someone finds attractive.  I don't often go for the classically handsome.  And not everything in your description is a turn-off for me.  

45?  Why not?  I like younger men.  

Bald?  I dig baldies and have dated quite a few, no problem there.  Lots of women find bald men sexy.  A lot sexier than the guys who are so self-conscious about losing their hair that they try to maintain a thin little rat tail ponytail.

Chess?  What's wrong with chess?  I like chess.  My ex-husband played chess.  

A Toyota Corolla?  I don't give a shit what someone drives, as long as it's safe and he doesn't drive like a maniac.  

Lives with his mother?  Actually, I did date someone for a year and a half who rented a room from his mother, and it didn't bother me in least because he is a good man and lived his own life.  

The only thing on your list that would bother me is gaming for many hours  every day, because it seems like such a waste of time.  But I do know people who manage to accomplish quite a lot in their lives, including being very active gamers, so I keep an open mind.

The one thing I generally cannot tolerate is a smoker, but I've made a  few exceptions.  Personality overrides many things.

There are much more important things than looks, however appearance does play a part...being over-weight and non-active (i'm a very active and healthy person and look for the same), bad teeth (not crooked, just gross and badly taken care of) will immediately turn me off to a guy, no matter how nice he is in every other respect that I am looking for. 

Bald with a beard is one of my weaknesses...and many women don't like either, or both!

 

[CityWoman]

People of all ages do online dating. I never started doing it until I turned 50. I tend to date guys in their 30s and 40s, although I'm open to men my age, but it just doesn't happen as often. The only reason I don't use the apps is my phone is old and I don't like loading it with apps.

But I think joining POF, Match, and/or OKC can be a great way to meet people if one is willing to make some effort and put some thought into what they're doing and saying. I usually have to take a break for a few months at a time because it often feels like having a second job, with all the messaging and vetting that is needed. I am sure it's totally possible for vandwellers and nomads to meet people for dating and more through online dating. There are niche sites, too. My friend met her husband through a dating site for farmers!

Oh, and yes to baldies and beards!

 

[tx2sturgis]

BTW ladies, I used the term 'balding' not bald, and not baldie.

There IS a difference.

Think of it this way:

An older lady with thinning hair is a very different look to me than a young lady who shaves most of the hair on her head for style.

Male pattern baldness (balding) is not normally a choice a man can (or would) make for style or looks.

I cant believe I have to explain so much of this...

Geeze...

 

[DuneElliot]

BTW ladies, I used the term 'balding' not bald, and not baldie.

There IS a difference.

Think of it this way:

An older lady with thinning hair is a very different look to me than a young lady who shaves most of the hair on her head for style.

Male pattern baldness (balding) is not normally a choice a man can (or would)  make for style or looks.

I cant believe I have to explain so much of this...

Geeze...

I got what you're saying...I always figure if a guy is balding, he should just go ahead and shave it all off...looks so much better. The rat tail is horrendous, and a comb-over isn't any better.

 

[WalkaboutTed]

Bearded, bald, smart, funny, bright, active, imaginative, Jewish, a non-smoker with good teeth. Those are my main parameters.

Oops, I already found him!

A lot of non-Jews question the religion requirement. It's not so much the shared faith, it's the shared culture thing that goes along with it. Pretty much, I can meet a Jew from Timbuktu (I don't think there are any left there now, though) and we will have a lot in common.
Ted

 

[Svenn]

I've seen quite a few (female) vandwellers on Tinder, both actually doing it and those aspiring

 

[tx2sturgis]

I got what you're saying...I always figure if a guy is balding, he should just go ahead and shave it all off...looks so much better. The rat tail is horrendous, and a comb-over isn't any better.

It doesnt always look better...some guys heads are not pretty when they are shaved especially if they are lighter skinned....and sunburns up there hurt LIKE HELL! And the peeling skin a week later.....yeah...I'll keep my remaining hair for a while...thanks but no thanks.

Just sayin.....