Table Manners

[jeanontheroad]

At the Lodge in Yellowstone with the boys. I have found my project. Teaching these little heathens "in public" table manners. No elbows on the table. No horsing around. Different forks for different dishes. Put the butter on your plate and butter your bread.from that. Butter one bite of bread at a time. Cut one bite of meat at a time. If it's inconvenient and cumbersome, that's how it's done. I don't care if they mix peas and mashed potatoes and eat them with a spoon in the privacy of their own home. But when they meet their fiancee's parents for the first time or go to lunch with their boss or with a potential customer, they need to have better manners than they have, now.

 

[Prisoner Of Knowledge]

Jean...at the risk of losing any or all social standing I've gained...what in the world is the purpose of buttering the plate? Each bite? ...seems a recipe for obesity to me... What am I missing love? To be sure, manners are most important...this step simply seems pretentious to me... as always, love to you and yours. - Slim.

 

[jeanontheroad]

I am not sure what the original purpose of putting the butter on the plate first was. I know it is the way it is supposed to be done. Maybe it was something like double dipping. Have you ever seen a good dip abandoned by everyone else when one guest double dips? I have. There are some people that I will only invite to my house if I am putting bottled dressing out so they are forced to pour some on their plate. Everyone else understands perfectly and does the same with these people. Maybe the butter thing is like that.

Anyway, I know that other people - including employers and potential mates - pay attention. I know one person who always takes anyone he is considering hiring to lunch to see want his clients may be seeing. Personally, I was just short of raised by wolves. I ate like one because I didn't know any better. It did affect my career. When an employer finally gave me a book on etiquette (in private) with the chapter on table manners marked, I had the very good sense to read it and not take it as an insult. She wanted to promote me, but knew that I needed polishing before I she could do that.

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BTW, my husband has very good table manners. So does my son. We made sure of that. That has also given them a professional edge. When you are at the Xmas party, remember that your boss or department head is paying attention. Even in the military, being presentable at the table counts.

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"Buttering the plate???" A pat of butter is put on the plate. The plate is not actually buttered. Not sure if I read you wrong.

 

[Prisoner Of Knowledge]

I think I see your point about the butter, I just wasn't ever taught that. Thank you for maintaining tradition, and yes, double dipping is disgusting! =D

 

[highdesertranger]

o my gosh, you are not supposed to mix your peas and mashed potatoes in public. guess I am just an uncouth slob. highdesertranger

 

[LeeRevell]

I guess I am just short of being a heathen. I use ONE fork..... one fork to rule them all! Sorry, I'm a Tolkeinfan. I mix my peas and mashed taters. I eat fried chicken with my fingers <gasp!>.
I butter the entire slice of bread or the biscuit. I cut the entire piece of meat before eating.

But I DO NOT 'double dip'!

Being retired means no worries about 'promotions'........ ;-)

 

[wagoneer]

Wow I sure am glad we got all this out in the open, will be watching you all carefully at the next RTR. Is drinking coffee out of a jar a no no?

 

[wagoneer]

Having been raised in a European Epicurean Household or "EEH" was always fascinated by the practice of the fork being changed from one hand to the other. Outside that my Mother had a drone waiting somewhere above the table looking for inappropriate table behavior. God rest her soul.

 

[PastTense]

So for those of you with table manners what is the set of silverware you use? The following?

Salad Fork: outside and to left of the plate
Dinner Fork: inside and to the left of the plate
Dinner Knife: Inside and to the right of the plate
Salad Knife: Middle and to the right of the plate
Soup Spoon (optional): Outside and to the right of the plate
Butter Knife: Laid diagonally across bread plate
Dessert Fork: Inside and above plate
Dessert Spoon: Outside and above plate

 

[caseyc]

Since I was a kid, I would eat at the dinner table while shaking my legs/feet. My parents would always tell me to stop. To this day, my GF still tells me to stop doing this while at dinner, haha! Some habits are hard to die.

 

[mockturtle]

I eat by myself three times a day however I please. My dog doesn't care. In fact, the more food I spill, the better he likes it. If the Queen should invite me to Buckingham Palace for dinner, I could probably manage to retrieve the impeccable manners I had in my earlier life. But she probably won't.

 

[wagoneer]

ouch! I do believe we are speaking in terms of a formal dinner setting, but don't cut yourself short as Royalty may well at some point present itself and we should be prepared. This discussion somehow reminds me of a recent Big Bang episode.

 

[akrvbob]

I don't know, I'm doing everything I can to live as wild and as free as possible without societies silly rules, and most of those are silly.

Most started based on common sense and then just became pretension. You don't chew with your mouth open or you will spit on others--YUCK. Those I keep. The rest I deliberately reject.

Conforming to a profoundly sick society is not a sign of manners or mental health.
Bob

 

[Patrick46]

I'm with Bob

I can't stand it when people chew with their mouths open. Seems downright childlike, and totally gross.
(altho aged senior citizens are given a golden pass on this one from me. they can do whatever they damn well please in my book...they've earned it.)




oh...and this is completely quotable...

Conforming to a profoundly sick society is not a sign of manners or mental health.

 

[TejasThreads]

https://vanlivingforum.com/showthread.php?tid=10462

I'm guessing that Van Tramp's neighbors in the popup were the type who were never taught that it's not okay to mix your peas and taters in public.

 

[Fearnoevil]

Since I was a kid, I would eat at the dinner table while shaking my legs/feet. My parents would always tell me to stop. To this day, my GF still tells me to stop doing this while at dinner, haha! Some habits are hard to die.

Haha, me too, lol, but only my left leg. Usually I don't even know I'm doing it until someone asks, "Why is the floor shaking?" It used to drive my ex crazy, and when she asked me why I do it, I told her I didn't really know, but my best guess is that it's just excess energy flowing out of my body, through my leg, and back into the earth, lol.

Also I'm in the fewer rules the better camp. Yes mouth closed and not TOO much slurping or gnashing noises, but I don't even care about double dipping :angel: In fact I don't remember hearing of such a thing until maybe 10 years ago, give or take. In my family, if you're eating chips and dip, a chip was almost always good for two goes at the dip bowl. Seriously, when you think about it, it's not like you're slobbering, sucking or otherwise drooling all over the chip/cracker, usually it just breaks off clean, no problemo.

But I guess folks are becoming more fastidious these days, germaphobes are breeding more like-minded people, such that now the thought of something as simple as sharing a swig from the same bottle seems cringe-worthy. But maybe there's good reason, God knows herpes is enough to make me think twice (or thrice) before kissing a stranger (and how DO you ask a young lady when her last health check up was, tough to work into a casual convo ). But of all the things we have to worry about, double-dipping is THAT serious a concern, really?
;?D

 

[wagoneer]

OI wuz double dippin up in Salmon Oregon in a little roadside cafe and when I got the bill she made me pay for all the dipping sides I asked her why she just said lookin at me and my long hair with my hippie gurlfriend 'cause you double dipped' dumbass.

 

[decodancer]

I was reprimanded for double dipping on my last trip to New York. We had chunks of good Italian bread and a plate full of seasoned olive oil to share. I was told to rip off each piece of bread to dip it. When you think about what your hands have touched, is it really so much better?

 

[Fearnoevil]

EXACTLY, lol, people don't always wash after doing their business, which spreads more germs than your mouth, imo. Yes we all know the statistic about how dirty a human mouth can be, but I've never gotten giardia, shigellosis, ameobic dysentery, E-coli or salmonella from swapping spit with someone, but unwashed hands can kill ya .

When I was in the Peace Corps in Honduras I found out first hand (several times) how this can happen, and believe me giardia and ameobic dysentery are no laughing matter, although my fellow trainees did laugh their asses off at the sounds erupting from the outhouse (apparently explosive diarrhea and sulpher belches are humorous to some :dodgy. But sweet revenge was assured during your first year in country, as no one was immune to the local intestinal fauna, lol.

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Wagoneer, I would have asked to see the sign, lol ;?D

 

[highdesertranger]

ha ha ha you all are great. highdesertranger