RTR safety class/es

[mayble]

Gotcha.
My point is that one is far more likely to be in a traffic accident than to be involved in a violent crime, yet we are warned repeatedly about avoiding dangerous people.
How about a defensive driving seminar at RTR?  First aid class?  Statistically speaking, those are skills more likely to save your life but people are more afraid of "bad guys" than the more prevalent threats.
Just an observation about human nature, really.  We worry about terrorists and ignore influenza.   In the US, which is actually more likely to get you?

 

[cyndi]

Car accidents, defensive driving seminars and first aid classes belong in another thread

 

[Gary68]

i was going to offer some macho advice but since i spent the weekend getting my butt repeatedly kicked by a 4 year old girl i will just move along

 

[Headache]

1) Screaming at & threatening (holding up pepper spray is a threatening gesture) is not defense when you are only being spoken to, it makes you the aggressor.
No it doesn't.  Sneaking up behind someone who is not expecting ANYONE to come up behind them makes the sneak the aggressor.

2) Ella I want to acknowledge and not invalidate your fear.  I'm sure it was very real to you in the moment.
Thanks, but at the time I was not afraid. I was frustrated at the (not) workings of the pump, then startled by a stranger who wanted something when I was busy.

Ella if you hadn't become fearful you wouldn't answer as defensively as you are now.  You told someone who is very knowledgeable about self defense(and someone trying to help you) that they were wrong and didn't know what they are talking about.  I'm only pointing things out, based on your words so you might reflect and become self aware.  I've been there and I'm also trying to help you.  If you are as completely aware of the man who approached you as you make yourself out to be, knew what his motives were and were in control of your situation then you don't need classes in how to tell people to back off.

Becoming defensive *is* becoming aggressive.  There are different forms of aggression.

1)  You keep describing this person as if they had purposeful, criminal intent in mind otherwise you wouldn't be using descriptions such as "sneaking up behind".  You are not a mind reader.  You have no idea of the real intent of this person.  What you are describing is fear based, not frustration based and not objective.  To be fair I wasn't there but from the words you are using you are describing the situation as if the person who approached you should have known who you were and predicted what you were thinking.

2) You became afraid and being startled is a brief period of fear, so yes you were afraid.  What I can't figure out is are you really angry at the person or more angry at yourself because you think you didn't control the situation? 

I will state it again, you did control it.  Becoming frustrated with the pump was a choice, so was how you responded after becoming startled to someone who like you, cannot read peoples minds.

I don't think a class on how to tell people off is going to be helpful to you at this time because the risk of you yelling at the wrong person(even for the right reasons) is very high.  Coping tools like how to assess a situation objectively, dealing with stress without allowing yourself to become defensive so you can remain objective with be more self empowering.  Without those tools your chance to create a disastrous situation is high.

I'm not saying your feelings are wrong, they are not.  However, I am pointing out other ways to look at the situation so that next time you can remain more objective and not react in fear.  You must learn how to cope with what you can't control as well as what you disagree with.  Not everyone can predict how they should behave around you.  Don't forget, you were a stranger at that gas station too.

 

[cyndi]

Suggestion for any and every get together. Role playing.

A week or so ago there was a news article: http://www.kvoa.com/story/32802386/pcsd-arrests-2-in-connection-to-robberies-that-targeted-elderly . I had just seen the pepper spray video mentioned  in the SAFETY ON THE ROAD forum: https://vanlivingforum.com/Thread-Pretty-good-pepper-spray-tutorial and had dug out my small can of pepper spray. I had added a string tie to it, then left it home.  :huh:

Just having that practice may help save someone's life.

Here's the subject of this thread, in case you were just skimming the OP and missed it

"Suggestion for any and every get together. Role playing."

It's not what the OP did. It's not what the OP should have done. I know you're trying to be helpful, but the OP didn't ask for help. She made a suggestion for future gatherings.

If you'd like to start a thread about how one should react in various situations start a new thread!!!

 

[akrvbob]

I can answer the question if we will offer classes and have someone go around and pretend to attack people.

No, we will not.
Bob

 

[Grizzly Stardust]

I can answer the question if we will offer classes and have someone go around and pretend to attack people.

No, we will not.
Bob

This made me laugh.

And I just wanted to add that I think it's a bad idea to scream "Get back, go away!" if someone approaches you and asks for money. I think you could very simply and sternly state "Sorry, I can't help".

 

[GotSmart]

And I just wanted to add that I think it's a bad idea to scream "Get back, go away!" if someone approaches you and asks for money. I think you could very simply and sternly state "Sorry, I can't help".

I guess I am an old softy.  I say, "I wish I could."  Then if they stick around, I proceed to go on and on about my health problems.  

(If you have your health, you have everything!)  :angel:

 

[ArtW]

I don't think the idea of a class at the RTR is a good one unless taught by a PROFESSIONAL, and not (a) a person who thinks s/he's 'bad' or (b) a hysterical fear monger who sees danger in every corner
I do believe Headache is 100% correct, Ella was surprised due to focussing too tightly on the recalcitrant fuel pump (lack of situational awareness) and is overreacting to the shock because, being older and unaware of the realities of an violent encounter (lack of training and experience) she feels vulnerable
I'm not an pro, but growing up in the worst parts of my city of origin, I have a fair bit of experience with random and not so random violence,  which is part of what informs my choice to carry, my choice to seek training in combatives and self defense,  and to be always aware of what's around me (I check around and behind me very frequently) and to be wary of strangers, but i don't see this as a situation that required yelling or pepper spray waving
Walking up behind someone and sneaking up behind someone are two different things, and if he'd had violence in mind, he probably wouldn't have stopped, he would have rushed
as far as weather he'd have walked up behind a man, who knows? he got his bus fare and left, so there was no reason to approach anyone else
Would Ella be as freaked if it had been a woman? the pics in the article were of female 'perps' not male
MAYBE he approached her instead of the men because we tend to see older women as kindly and therefore 'soft touches' where we are more likely to meet sympathy and help rather than be yelled at or told to 'get a job' because our grandmothers were kindly

assuming he approached due to her helplessness is projecting her fear into his intent
AND, perceiving yourself as helpless or weak due to sex or age is fooling yourself no less than thinking you're ten feet tall and bulletproof because you're young and a guy
A few years ago in houston an 80 year old woman stopped an young man intent on rape
she did not have a gun, or training, she had situational awareness, intelligence, and a willingness to do what was necessary (but not more than was necessary)

 

[cyndi]

We are not assessing the OPs reaction in this thread.

The subject of this thread is a role playing scenario at the RTR.

I think role playing and self defense are two entirely different subject.

I totally agree a self defense course should only be taught by a certified instructor. but, again, self defense is not the topic of this thread.

 

[ArtW]

well bob answered that already

 

[Gary68]

darn,i might just show up if i could go around scaring the crap out of people

 

[akrvbob]

Self-defense is a great topic, but it needs it's own thread. This one has run its course and so is closed.
Bob